words in movies
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
(They all pretend to fall asleep.)
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Aurora: Okay. Oh no, I have to.
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Chandler: Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Aurora: (gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
Monica: Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. (He goes to her room.)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Joey: You-you have to pay that! Its not just a guess.
Ross: Because whats going on with Rachel has nothing to do with how I feel about you.
Rachel: No, it's just... look, you know, when I first moved to the city I was a lot like her! I was spoiled, self-centered and you guys really took care of me.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Joey: Look, if Im bringing home a woman who cant stand being around a baby, then maybe I dont want to be with that woman! Or maybe well just do it in the bathroom of the club!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. (They sit down.) I think we can do this if we just get organized. All right? We have two days to plan this party. We just need to make fast decisions! Okay? All right, where are we gonna have it?
Rachel: Ben yknow when uh, when you were a baby, you and I used to hang out all the time. Cause I was, I was your daddys girlfriend.
Rachel: Oh is it?! (She answers the cute guys phone.) Uhh, hello? (On her phone) Yes hi, is Rachel there? (On the other phone) Yes she is, just one moment please. (To Phoebe, holding out both phones.) Its for me!
(They go over to the counter and Chandler moves closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: Joey, just-just he-hes new in town and I know he doesnt have any guy friends. Just take him to like a ball game or something. Ill really appreciate it.
Ross: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh, by the by, did it uh, did it ever occur to you that, I dont know, maybe they might be having a little too much fun?
Rachel: And I still have about five seconds to spare. (kisses him) Okay, that was about seven seconds.
Isabella: Im sorry. (starts to leave)
Ross: Your page said come to the hospital, what? What was it? What happened?
(A woman enters wearing a wet wedding dress and frantically starts to look around.)
Joey: Chandler, you have to start getting over her. All right, if you play, you get some fresh air, maybe itll take your mind off Janice, and if you dont play, everyone will be mad at you cause the teams wont be even. Come on.
Phoebe: Oh, you didnt have to come in with me.
Phoebe: (sitting down) Oh good! All right, so you decided to tell him about the Richard thing.
Tag: Yeah, so she went back to Ohio.
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
(Phoebe laughs, then stops to think about it. Ross enters.)
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Monica: Alright, well, this does not change anything. (to Chandler) Okay, we need to get something to grease the sides of his face.
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
Gary: (To Phoebe) I'll see you after work sweetie. (Kisses her.)
Chandler: Okay. (Starts to button up his shirt)
Chandler: I dont think the contestants are supposed to speak to each other.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
Chandler: I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and lets just get that thing pushed back in.
[Jack and Judy exit to Monicas room.]
Monica: (laughs sarcastically) Rachel is not going to pick your stupid guy.
PHOEBE: Listen. You are not going to believe this but, that is not me singing on the video.
Monica: (laughs) Well thats the best part. Umm, you guys get to decide!
Rachel: Oh no wait Pheebs, I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you. But I'm not sure, Chandler?
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
[Flashback to 716 - TOW The Truth About London] [Scene: London, Chandler's hotel room. He was getting ready for bed when Monica pays him a visit and they started talking]
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Chandler: Okay, well he totally screwed up the punch line. Y'know, its supposed to be arrghh-eh og-errigh.
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Is that true miss?
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Chandler: (To Monica) Well, now we have one of each! (To the doctor) And that's enough!
(Joey is sitting in an armchair and wearing a diving mask. He pulls out a grape from a bunch of fake grapes on the coffee table, puts it on the snorkel's breathing tube and blows it out, then giggles to himself)
Laura: Boy, you people are nice... And I've got to say... I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Monica: (goes to Chandler) Phoebe and Rachel saw you with Nancy today and... em... they think you're having an affair.
Monica: Have you ever been to one of my weddings?
Joey: listen to this... I went out with this girl last night and half way through our date I realized I already slept with her.
Rachel: Oh my you think Im a pushover. Well wait, watch this, you know what? Youre not invited to lunch. What do you think of that? I think thats pretty strong, thats what I think. Come on, Monica, lets go to lunch. (She leaves)
Joey: (getting up) Dude, I'm telling ya! I'm fine! (He tries to take a step and falls flat on his face.)
Phoebe: I dont want to go into the whole thing, but umm, we have words and I kill him.
The Guys: (reacting to a play) Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Awww!
Rachel: You cant just say, Nice to meet you, good night?
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is sitting at the counter waiting for Gunther, yep Gunthers back, to refill her coffee.]
Ross: Phoebe! (He grabs her arm to get her attention.)
(Phoebe reaches into the trash can, pulls one out, and hands it to Rachel.)
Joey: (pause) Ill never get to be a best man!
Monica: Its umm, it has something to do with transponding.
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
Monica: (interrupting) The days and nights are hard! I get it! Okay? Look umm, Rachel Im sorry! I have to start getting ready! Im getting married today!
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Rachel: Please. If she said to you, "Ross, I want you on this couch, right here, right now," what would you say?
(She starts to go upstairs.)
Rachel: My God, Im sorry! Im sorry! I didnt mean to do that! I wouldnt do that!
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Mike: Sorry David, but she really has to know this.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
David: That's fair, you've had a long trip. (he leaves his seat to Mike, and stands there looking for a chair. He finally goes to Monica and Chandler's table)
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: (to the screen) Shoot! Shoot! Shoot! Shoot, or just fall down. That's good too.
[Monica exits to the bathroom.]
Chandler: I got good. I played this game all day and now I rule at it! They should change the name of it to Ms. Chandler. (Pause) Although I-I hope they dont.
Ross: Eh, cause I knew that if I told you, youd make me go, and I knew you needed someone to be with you tonight. Come on. Come on.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Passenger: Oh-no.(He bites his fist at her.)And by the way, it seems to be perfectly clear that you were on a break. (Rachel gasps and doesnt know what to say. He puts his headphones back on.)
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
Chandler: Guys? (They ignore him.) Ive got something important to tell ya. (Still nothing so he walks over and stands in front of the TV.) Guys? (They lean over to try and watch the TV, Chandler mimics them.) Guys?! (Pause) Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Monica: (entering) Rachel, I need to borrowYoure not packed!!!! Youre not packed even a little bit!
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Joey: (laughs) Monica, look... I don't think you and I have any secrets anymore... (Monica keeps looking at Joey) Not ready to joke about it yet, okay, I see you later. (Joey walks out)
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Rachel: Oh, thank you... (looks at his face trying to remember his name)
Phoebe: Well, it was just, it was all so crazy, you know. I mean, Chandler was in the closet, counting to 10, and he was up to 7 and I hadn't found a place to hide yet. I-I-I meant to tell you, and I wrote it all down on my hand. See, all of it. (shows him her hand)
Phoebe: All right. Oh! Shoot! Oh shoot! Uh, Rachel wanted to see this tape!
(Rachel enters in a wet wedding dress and starts to search the room.)
Phoebe: (excited)Hey you guys! Ok, you're not going to believe this! I just saw my psychic and she said I was definitely gonna win the lottery tonight!
Conan: Now you guys work with animals a lot. You had to work early on with a monkey
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is getting a cup of coffee and sits down next to Monica.]
MONICA: Aren't you afraid that Joey's going to figure all of this out?� (pause)� I heard it.
Joey: I cant believe Im going to lose this job!
PHOEBE: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.
Chandler: (Pointing to the table and picking up the box.) Is that your tiny little box, thats too small to put anything in?
[Scene: The airport, the flight to Yemen is being called.]
Joey: (to Ross): Ahhh, that's alright. Y'know, that's a tough hand to beat.
[Cut to Rachel staring out of her window.]
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Paul: Oh, you dont have to do that every time.
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
[Cut to Living Room]
Rachel: It's not? (whispering to Ross) When was she born?