words in movies
[Scene: A Theater, the gang is in the audience wating for a play of Joey's to start.]
Ross: Oh, shhh, shh. Magic is about to happen.
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Monica: Did anybody else feel they just wanted to peel the skin off their body, to have something else to do?
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Monica: Well, go over to her! She's not with anyone.
Chandler: Here goes. (He walks over to her but just stands there.)
Chandler: Yes, yes I did, but what I didn't say was what I was about to say, what I wanted to say was, uh... would you like to go out with me sometime, thankyou, goodnight. (He walks back to the others but she calls him back.)
Joey: C'mon, you guys, it wasn't that bad. It was better than that thing I did with the trolls, at least you got to see my head.
Chandler: (running back) She said yes!! She said yes!! (To Joey) Awful play, man. Whoah. (To All) Her name's Aurora, and she's Italian, and she pronounces my name 'Chand-lrr'. 'Chand-lrr'. I think I like it better that way. (To Joey) Oh, listen, the usher gave me this to give to you. (He fishes a card out of his pocket.)
Aurora: ...Luckily none of the bullets hit the engine block. So, we made it to the border, but just barely, and I- ...I've been talking about myself all night long, I'm sorry. What about you? Tell me one of your stories.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Chandler: So explain something to me here, uh, what kind of a relationship do you imagine us having if you already have a husband and a boyfriend?
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Joey: When I'm with a woman, I need to know that I'm going out with more people than she is.
(They all pretend to fall asleep.)
Ross: Oh yeah, nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask.
Monica: Yeah, yeah, it's interesting.. but y'know what? Just for fun, let's see what it looked like in the old spot. (She moves it.) Alright, just to compare. Let's see. Well, it looks good there too. Let's just leave it there for a while.
Phoebe: (to Rachel) I can't believe you tried to move the green ottoman.
Chandler: Thank God you didn't try to fan out the magazines. I mean, she'll scratch your eyes right out.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
Joey: (on phone) Uh huh.. uh huh... oh my God! Okay! Okay, I'll be there! (He hangs up and to all.) That was my agent. (He tosses and catches the phone.) My agent has just gotten me a job...in the new Al Pacino movie!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Ross: You're right, you're right, it is...So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
(Joey enters with Monica's paper and hands it to her.)
Joey: Here. I need to borrow some moisturizer.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Monica: Sure. Oh, um, Chandler? Y'know, the-the old Monica would-would remind you to scrub that Teflon pan with a plastic brush...But I'm not gonna do that.
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
(Joey starts to the shower with a grim, determined look on his face.)
Director: I think his butt would like to get this shot before lunch. Once again, rolling... water working... and action....and cut. What was that?
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Aurora: (moves Chandler's arm and look at his watch.) Oh my God, I'm late. (She starts to get up.)
Aurora: Okay. Oh no, I have to.
Chandler: (to himself) Too bad, she's leaving.
Chandler: Well, I thought- I thought you talked to Rick.
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
Chandler: I know there'll be many moments in the years to come when I'll regret asking the following question, but- And Andrew is?
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Aurora: So... which one of the two guys will you listen to?
Chandler: I don't know, I-I have to listen to both of them, they don't exactly let each other finish...
Aurora: (gets up to leave) Well, call me if you change your mind.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is trying to comfort Chandler. Joey is absent.]
Chandler: (to Ross) "Big guy?"
Joey: Yeah, they said I acted too much with it. I told everybody about this! Now everybody's gonna go to the theatre, expecting to see me, and...
Rachel: Oh, Joey, you know what, no-one is gonna be able to tell.
Joey: Hard to tell, I was naked.
Phoebe: No, I don't think this was your shot. I mean, I don't even think you just get one shot. I really believe big things are gonna happen for you, I do! You've gotta just keep thinking about the day that some kid is gonna run up to his friends and go 'I got the part! I got the part! I'm gonna be Joey Tribbiani's ass!'.
Monica: I'm sorry, Joey. I'm gonna go to bed, guys.
Monica: Doesn't matter, I'll get 'em tomorrow. Or not. Whenever. (He goes to her room.)
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
(Cut to Chandler, Ross and Roger sitting at the table. Ross is upset)
Phoebe: Oh no, don't hate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.
Barry: We can, we can go to Aruba! When I went there on what would have been our honeymoon, it was, uh... it was really nice. You would've liked it.
Rachel: Ohh, gee. I wonder why she thinks youre going to call her?
Ross: Okay, then why do you have to wear underwear tonight?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Phoebe are there, both ready to break up with their significant others.]
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Joey: Yeah but we wont be able to like get up in the middle of the night and have those long talks about our feelings and the future.
Rachel: How are you? (She goes to kiss him on the cheek, but stops because of the dates and pats him on the shoulder.)
Ross: Eh, either way Ill pass. (Quietly to Chandler) I still cant eat those. (Monica is getting something out of the fridge and starts laughing.) Whats so funny?!
CHANDLER: Because sometimes, Phoebe after you sleep with someone, you have to kill the fish.
Ross: I don't know. I could talk to her boss. Yeah! I met him at that Christmas party. We really hit it off.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Monica: What if it's new? I mean, we agreed not to talk again, unless we had something really important to say. Shouldn't I call him back?
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
Chandler: Are they end to end, or tall like pancakes?
Amanda: Let’s see.. to assure you get this directly, ring me back on my mobile.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Chandler: Yknow what? I am going to take you out to dinner tonight. I found this place that makes the greatest mozzarella sticks and jalepino poppers . (Monica doesnt look impressed.) No? Really? They taste so good.
Charlie: Well... I'm just thinking that maybe he's not the right guy to be with right now, maybe I should be with someone... I have more in common with. You know what I mean?
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
Ross: So, I uhm... kinda need to talk to you about Charlie.
Issac: I can promise not to tell her again.
Ross: Well what is it? Is it a mole? (He moves closer to them, and they jump back.)
EDDIE: Hey man, check it out, I got some great stuff to dehydrate here. I got some grapes, got some apricots, I thought it would be really cool to see what happens with these water balloons.
(Monica goes to the door.� Chandler slides behind it as she opens it slightly.)
Monica: But it didnt. Say hello to Mrs. Chatracus.
Cecilia: But Well now, nows a different time for me. (Starts to cry.)
Chandler: You wanna tell secrets?! Okay! Okay! In college, Ross used to wear leg warmers!
Rachel: All right, fine, but dont get mad at me. Its-its just a little hard to believe.
[Scene: The plane. Rachel's telling her story to the passenger on her left. The one on her left is still wearing his headphones.]
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
[Scene: Central Perk. Phoebe and Joey are sitting on the couch. A waitress brings a coffee and Phoebe wants to pay.]
Ross: Here. (Hands her, her cough drops) (to Rachel) At least I made ten bucks in my relationship.
Parker: Fine! Well then to quote Ross, "Id better be going."
Monica: (to Phoebe) Quick, take off your dress, he wont notice the bed.
The Stripper: Okay, who are you? The Hardy boys? Look, I dont need to steal some stupid ring, all right? I make $1,600 a week doing what I do; any of you guys make that?
Ross: (just trying to get out of the conversation) Ah well, cant blame a guy for trying!
Monica: Does it have to do with Joey?
Phoebe: It's amazing! You better hurry up and fill out an application or I'm gonna beat you to it.
Joey: It's okay. You know, I totally understand, alright? You guys, make way more sense than her and I ever did, you know. And... I want you to be happy.
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One With George Stephanopoulos, Phoebe is showing Monica and Rachel that she brought Operation to their slumber party.]
Jay Leno: (on TV) Folks, when we come back we'll be talking about her new book, 'Euphoria Unbound': the always interesting Nora Tyler Bing. You might wanna put the kids to bed for this one.
The Director: Hey, lovely! Come, talk to me a minute! (she goes over to him)
MONICA: Chandler could you at least send some women to my party? [buzzer goes off] Alright that's Ross.
Alice: Phoebes right Frank. I know its hard to hear, but it wouldve been wrong to go through with it. I-I-I was being selfish, even though we, we want the same things now, in the future we may not. (to Phoebe) Is that it, is that what it is?
Monica and Ross: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 (Ross runs to be caught by Monica, but she moves out of the way)
Phoebe: Because I think it means more to you.
RACHEL: Did, did he just, did he, did he just say, he said bye. He said bye. You said, you said bye to me. You said bye to me.
Charity guy: Wow! Are you here to make another donation the same day? I don’t think that that’s ever happened before.
Phoebe: Shes right! You have to stop!
[Scene: Rosss apartment, he and Emily are getting ready to go to the airport.]
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Rachel: Oh, I beg to differ. The Pictionary incident?
Chandler: Look all I know is when Monica and I went to see them, we had fun! And theres another reason too.
Joey: (annoyed) I dont know! (Goes back to looking through the pipe.) (Pause) Yeah, I do.
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: Okay, give me a chance to win my money back. Okay? Sudden death, one goal, $1,000.
Charlie: I don't know what to say, Benji. This is all so.... romantic.
Chandler: Okay, here is the phone bill. (Hands it to Joey.)
Chandler: Ok, I think she's trying to tell us something. Quick, get the verbs.
Rachel: Y�guys ever heard the story about when Rosses mom went to the beauty salon?
Monica: Why dont you just stop doing stupid things? Then you wouldnt have to apologize.
Joey: Just what needs to be done! Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this woman
Monica: I know! I know! I am a terrible person! I mean, Chandler is never going to trust me with anything ever again!
Monica: (pointing to the kitchen) Yeah you will! (Points to the bedroom) And, are you kiddin me?!
Rachel: (to Phoebe) You said she was bald.
Monica: Yeah. All right, I'm gonna go tell Dan that it's not gonna happen. (They kiss and as she starts to leave, Chandler starts to dance. Without turning around.) Don't do the dance.
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
Chandler: No, Im afraid I wont be able to make love as well as him.
Mike: Phoebe, I love you. There's no-one else in the world I would ask to marry me... three times. But I wanna take care of you, have babies with you, and grow old with you... Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: I sang. (To Monica) Hah!
ROSS: (takes the phone, but speaks to Mike) I don't understand what just happened here.
Ross: Im sorry, okay, Im sorry. I wa-I was disgusted with myself, and this morning I was so, I was so upset and then I got your message and I was so happy, and all I wanted was to get her out of my apartment as fast as possible.
Man: So we never got to hear about your wedding!
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Monica: Well, you could actually go to the gym.
Ross: Yes, we have something we have to get to.
Ross: And confused. Rach, sweetie, I-I um I didnt propose to you.
Ross: Uh, no... no. I couldn't find him. I'm just gonna talk to him on the plane.
Jill: Yknow, thanks for trying to cheer me up, but Im not gonna date some random guy from your work.
Rachel: All right. (She starts to take off her robe) Fine.
Joey: Sometimes I get in here just to get away from it! Hey, a nickel!!
(They both move to kiss again.)
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Ross: And hey, here's to a lousy Christmas.
Joey: Yeah, I-I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didnt want you to worry about me. But, Im having surgery today.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Emily: (to Ross) Good luck, babe.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Mona: Hi! Hi. Hi, Rachel! (to Ross) Whats she doing here?
Phoebe: You guys, um I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me, but um I love you guys too. (Joins in on the hug.) Oh, I really needed that. (Goes and sits down.)
Chandler: Oh yknow what, I was already trying to trade for ah, well, you.
Chandler: Oh wow, I hope you dont take this the wrong way but, I know we had plans to meet up tonight and, ugh, Im just kinda worried about what it might do to our friendship.