words in movies
Phoebe: Yeah, come to papa.
Rachel: Well maybe she and her friends are just having a contest to see who can bring home the biggest geek.
Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Monica: (Entering from her bedroom, talking on the phone) Yeah, once again, I am sorry. Thank you. Bye. (To the gang) I just had to turn down a job catering a funeral for sixty people.
Ross: So, uh, why did you have to turn it down?
Monica: Because I don't have the money or the equipment to handle something that big on such short notice. I mean there's no way.
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
Kathy: Can I borrow the keys to your apartment?
Rachel: Yes, you have to get her something, and it should be something really nice.
[cut to a new scene, also in Monica and Rachel's apartment. Rachel is sitting, Phoebe is nearby.]
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
Monica: Oh. Well, I didn't realize that you needed it back right away. I mean, you told me to go and be a caterer. So I went. I beed. I mean, I... I used it to buy all this stuff. But lookI've got another job tomorrow, so I'll pay you back with the money I make from that.
Cheryl: Um, would you like to come in?
Cheryl: According to recent findings!
Ross: Well, I do! Why don't we go back to my place, light a couple of candles, break open a box of Cinnamon Fruit Toasties, uh...
[cut to the living room of the same dwelling, where the funeral guests are mingling. Monica enters.]
Mrs. Burkart: (in grief) Jack used to handle the finances! (Breaks into tears)
Rachel: And you know which one we should see? The 1996 Tony award winner. Do you happen to know the name of that one?
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Joey: (entering the apartment) Hey. Man, it is so hard to shop for girls.
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Chandler: Would you like me to write her a little poem as well?
Phoebe: But Mon, you have to get our money!
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Monica: Phoebe, she sounded pretty upset to me.
[cut to the living room where Mrs. Burkart is now performing.]
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
Chandler: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I found this great place called "Invisible things for Kathy." (Motions to an imaginary pile of presents next to him.) Can you give me a hand with all this stuff?
Chandler: She's really going to love this, you know? The bottom line is I want her to have it, even if I don't get to be the one who gives it to her.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: No, it came out to an even twenty.
[cut to Monica and Phoebe in the kitchen]
Mrs. Burkart: (Singing) Come on along and listen to...
Phoebe: Excuse me. Excuse me! (Mrs. Bukart stops singing) Thanks. Um, clearly this is a very, very hard time for you. Um, but, um, we provided a service, and we deserve to be paid because you ate that service, and, um, we are not leaving here until we're paid every penny. 'Cause you know what, lady? We're part time caterers, and we have no place else to go.
Cheryl: So you want to come inside?
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Ross: (trying to make his disgust into lust) Ah, Cheryl!
[They sit up, moaning in excitement, and Cheryl straddles Ross. Ross finds a slice of bologna and moans higher and louder, then a bag of potato chips on the coffee table starts to move. Ross throws Cheryl off his lap, grabs a tennis racket and a toilet brush and starts pounding the bag.]
Rachel: I did it! Oh! I finished it! I did it all by myself! And there's nobody to hug!
Kathy: You really didn't have to. (Opens the box) Wow.
Joey: Ah. Hm. (To Kathy) Wanna go to bed?
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Chandler: [to Kathy] Goodnight.
Kathy: The Velveteen Rabbit. I kinda have the feeling you had something to do with it.
Kathy: Well, uh, when Joey gave it to me, he said, "This is 'cause I know ya like Rabbits, and I know ya like cheese." Thanks. I love it. And I know how hard it must have been for you to find.
Kathy: You must really like... Joey... to go to all that trouble for him.
Chandler: Goodnight. (Goes to his room.)
Chandler: Listen er..I need to ask you a favor but you can't tell Monica anything about it.
[Cut back to Monica and Rachel's apartment, Rachel is singing along with a song and dancing while facing the big picture window. Y'know, I think I'd pay real good money to be on the other side of that window!]
Chandler: Because that's who I am, okay? I'm sure a mature man like Richard could see a tape like that and it wouldn't bother him. Just'd be another saucy anecdote for him to share at his men's club over brandy and moustaches.
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Joey: Monica, you have to do some damage control here, okay. 'Cause he's feeling like... (the door opens and Chandler walks in with a pizza)
[Cut to Phoebe in another part of the store.]
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Chandler: Yeah, I wanted to make a dramatic scene, but I hate packing.
Phoebe: Oh, I thought this was your party and it turns out its a party for Howard. He's just the sweetest little man! (A guest walks up to her.)
Joey's Hand Twin: (tries to leave) I have to get back to
(Phoebe looks horrified and she turns to watch Joey)
Phoebe: Yeah, not in your case Lovey Loverson. (Tries to take a bite out of Rosss cookie.)
Monica: We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
Janice: Say hello to Aaron, your future son-in-law.
Emily: (running in, with Ross) Oh. Oh my God. How can this be happening? What are we going to do?
Monica: Yeah, I tried to gnaw myself free.
Ross: No! No!! No! Can I speak to someone in charge please?! (The librarian brings his boss over.)
Emily: Its not the pants. Its you that is backwards. And if, and if you dont understand how important this is to me, well then, perhaps we shouldnt get married at all! (She storms out.)
Joey: (to Monica) Can I use your phone? (On phone) Yeah, the number for a Sidney Marks, please.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To Gunther, who's standing there frozen) Okay, go! Go! Go! (He runs off.) (To Larry) Now, if after dinner you still really need to bust someone, I know a hot dog vendor who picks his nose.
Ross: (stopping them) Okay-okay! Two very good points, look Ive known you both a long time, and Ive never seen either of you one/millionth as happy as youve been since youve got together. Do you really want to throw that all away over a room? That is so silly. Now wh-what is more important, love or silliness?
Ross: (to Gary) That was so cool man, the way you leaned on that guy.
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
[Scene: Monicas Restaurants Kitchen, shes cooking as one of her waiters, Stu, comes over to talk to her.]
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
Ross: Y'know what, 100 million people went to see a movie about what I do, I wonder how many people would go see a movie called, Jurassic Parka.
Joey: Whoa!! Now look, dont be just blurtin stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers. Okay?
Chandler: (to Joey) You couldn't be cool. (he goes to the guest bedroom)
Gym Employee: You do realize that you wont have access to our new full service Swedish spa.
Rachel: Ross, I don't, I just don't think it's going to fit.
Chandler: Yeah, you almost overreacted to something.
LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?
Ross: (to Rachel) You see what men do! Dont tell me men are not nice! (points to Chandler) This is men!!
Rachel: All right fine! Youre not invited to the party were gonna have either.
Ross: Yes!! I knew it!! (To the people who didn't make it.) Bye-bye! So long! Later!
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
Chandler: Let's go! (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: Well actually you're the one person I can't tell this too. And the one person I want to the most.
Chandler: (smiling again) oh, oh, yeah, ok, thanks. I can't believe I didn't even think of that. I guess I was just so worried about having to... come here and do... 'that'...
Rachel: I mean y'know, I'm thinking. You could bring her, and you guys could go up to your old room, and not make out.
Monica: Bet I know how that discussions going to go.
Joey's Hand Twin: (To Joey) 14.
Monica: Oh that's okay. Dont worry about it, you can give it to me when we get back.
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
(Chandler goes to his bedroom and opens the door. However, only the top half opens, and he trips into his bedroom over the bottom half.)
Joey: Oh dont listen to him, hes just some guy who really wants the apartment, but I dont think hes gonna get it.
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Chandler: Let me see this guy. (Phoebe hands him the picture.) W-H-Wow! Dont show this to Monica! And dont tell her about the W-H-Wow!
FBOB: Hey, do you need me to pick you up?
Phoebe: Oh please, these guys, we haven't even moved in yet and they have us picking out china patterns. (Mike seems to gag a little...and laughs nervously. They begin to leave. Phoebe bolts back)
Rachel: Oh, I forgot this was in here. Umm, this was the uh garter that I was saving for my wedding and I wanted it to be Monicas something borrowed and its blue. (Starts to cry again.) Yeah
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: Hm-hmm. (Goes to take another bite.)
Rachel: Hi, Im sorry Im late but I am ready, ready to talk you up! When does Lizs father get here?
Monica: Are you insane? I mean Joey, is going to kill you, hes actually going to kill you dead.
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Phoebe Sr: Oh, thats okay, it gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
(Phoebe turns to Rachel and mimes remove a lid of a jar. Ross enters and Paul motions for Rachel to leave with him now.)
Ross: Listen, I got to tell you Ive-Ive never been to a guru before, so...
Ross: Well, y'know how I'm trying to work things out with Emily. Well, there's this one thing Okay, (Rachel has her back turned to the camera, and Ross isn't looking at her.) here goes. I made a promise that-(they cut to the other camera and Ross notices something coming out of Rachel's nose)-Oh hey!
(Rachel turns to Ross stunned.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, uh can you do me a favor? I forgot the pin number to my ATM card can, can you get it for me?
Joey: I dont know how to lead.
[cut to a montage of scenes involving Bonnie, Ross, and Rachel from the last episode.]
CHANDLER: Ok, there is one more way to say it, who knows it?
(Ross goes to the window and opens the curtains revealing that it's raining outside)
Rachel: Eh, Im just so sorry I put you through it. And, I y'know, I dont want to get back together over a machine.
Monica: (to the lobster) Lucky bastard! (Throws the lobster in and turns around to face the planets most annoying woman, next to Dr. Laura and Kathy Lee Gifford of course. Shes the most annoying female TV character however.) Janice.
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
(Gary reaches up to grab that little light that cops have for unmarked cop cars.)
Phoebe: But you-you-you came to see Lilly?
Monica: Okay, weve been out here for two hours and we havent seen any stupid comets. Can we go now? I mean, Chandlers getting chilly. (She walks over to where Chandler is bundled up in a big coat and shivering.)
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Monica: (taking Rachels hand) Sweetie okay. Its okay. Everybody made it to the wedding. Im fine.
Rachel: You are asking me to be your wife!
[They keep flicking each other. This turns into slapping each other. This leads to wrestling on the floor. All the while Phoebe is saying "Happy thoughts". Eventually Phoebe gets fed up.]
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
Monica: Well, were trying to find someone to perform our wedding and theyre all either boring or annoying or yknow, cant stop staring at the ladies. (Points to her chest.)
Rachel: Hey, don't listen to them. I think it's sexy.
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
[Cut to Joey entering wearing a preppy tennis outfit.]
Phoebe: So Chandler, I-I'd love to come by tonight.
Rachel: Umm Pheebs, remember when we were in the coffee house we decided that I was going to keep the uh, the cute guys cell phone?
The Security Guard: (To Phoebe) Was it her quarter?
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.
(He turns to look at Joey who smiles slyly and closes the door leaving them alone.)
Rachel: Okay, yknow what, yknow what? This playing hard to get thing is not working. Umm, hand-hand me those cherries. (Chandler does so.) Okay. Okay. (She does a little sexy walk over to where Joshua is standing.) Hi!
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
(As she moves to get it, Monica yells )
(Rachel tries to stop mid-swing, and the swing starts to turn from side to side)
Danny: That's cool. Cool. (Starts to leave.)
Phoebe: (To Ross) Hes holding us back.
Elizabeth: Yknow what daddy? If you dont like Ross, thats fine. It doesnt matter to me, Im gonna go out with him anyway.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)