words in movies
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
(They both go to her apartment.)
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Rachel: Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Ross: (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. (Hangs up.)
(He picks up a smaller box and carries it to the moving van as Joey returns.)
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Chandler: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
Danny: That's cool. Cool. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants.
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Rachel: Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
(They all run over to the window.)
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Monica: For this weekend! Oh gosh, it would be perfect, we get to see Joey plus we get to start our anniversary celebration on the plane. We can call it out plane-aversary.
Chandler: (nervous) My duties? (Trying not to crack a joke) All right.
Chandler: Yeah but when he proposed to me with the ring I got goose bumps.
Joey: Look Rach, wasnt this supposed to a temporary thing? I thought you wanted to do fashion stuff?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are still trying to get the picture taken.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is deciding on whether or not to go to the wedding.]
Rachel: Im not telling you what to do! I am telling you what not to do!
Monica: And the musicians, look, they can go over here (Points to a little alcove), okay? And the chairs can face this way (Points), and (Points to Ross) You go.
RACHEL: Well then uh, we better make this night count. [He starts to carry her out.] Oh wait, I forgot to turn off the cappucino machine. [He carries her over to turn it off.] Anchors away. Oh no no, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my purse, my pu rse. [He carries her to the counter to pick up her purse.] Oh, you know what. I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Charity guy: Are you here to take more money? Because, I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
Phoebe: Yeah, but did they have to shoot him down? I mean, that was just mean.
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
(Chandler and Monica take a sprint to the other wall)
Phoebe: (simultaneous to the others) Blah blargah, blar-blab.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ross: Guys? There's a somebody I'd like you to meet.
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Phoebe: Yeah, and you have nothing to worry about 'cos they're all crap!
(A monkey jumps on to his shoulder.)
(She hands the baby to Joey who pulls down the blanket to reveal Rosss face where the babys should be.)
Chandler: Oh, believe me, to survive this party, you're gonna have to come up with one too.
Ross: I dont want to do that.
Phoebe: I-I, came to fill your ice cube trays.
Rachel: Yeah I am, I am! Oh, but first of all, Monica, I would like to introduce you to my very talented colleage and more importantly my wonderful friend Gavin Mitchelle.
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Phoebe: Well, maybe you wouldnt have had you (turns to the attendant) run in the chapel!
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Phoebe: Oh, I told the stripper to be here at five. Thats good right?
Mischa: (to Phoebe, very quickly) Eh, he said, thank you very much, he thinks you look very pretty tonight, your hair, golden like the sun. (to Monica) So you're a chef?
RACHEL: Ya know, I just, so weird. I mean I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other and all I kept thinking about was the fourth of July.
Ross: Well, cant you at least stall her a little? Ill-Ill go back to some of the places I went last night.
Joey: Yeah, and oh she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
Chandler: Oh, y'know what? The last time Joey went to a meadow, his mother was shot by a hunter.
Rachel: (To Dina) Now! Give him the sandwich! Give him the sandwich! (She quickly sets the sandwich in front of him.)
Monica: Yeah. Rach, are you thinking you're gonna make it to Vail?
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Ross: Laugh all you want but uh, she actually left me a message saying shed like to go out again.
Joey: We should really learn how to play the real way. (Moves another piece.)
Monica: Come on! So she comes to the wedding! I mean it wont be so bad.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Ross: I'm sorry Chandler, but this, this is really important to me.
Chandler: I love you too. (Monica and Chandler kiss. He turns to Joey.) And... I like you as a friend. (They hug and pat each other on the back.)
Rachel: Oh my God .Whats he gonna do now? I cant watch! (Drags Joey closer to her and cowers into his chest.) Oh. Seriously, how can you watch this? Arent you scared?
Chandler: (sounds nervous) Yeah! I... I... I liked it! (Joey continues to look at him suspiciously) But, ehm... my bosses didn't go for it. Stupid sons of bitches!
Ross: That's nice... now, was that before or after you told him to stop calling, stop sending you flowers and to generally leave you alone, hmm?
Joey: Itll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
(Mr. Douglas screws up his eyes, trying to credit what Bing has just said, but turning to follow Nina down the corridor, he realises Bing must be telling the truth, since he would not have any personal interest in the girl, would he?)
Phoebe: That’s right, I've prepared a song for Emma. From my heart to hers. For there’s no greater gift, than the gift of music. (she starts singing) Emma! Your name poses a dilemma. 'Cause not much else rhymes with Emma! Maybe the actor Richard Crenna, he played the commanding officer in Rambo. Happy birthday Emma!
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Rachel: (talking on the phone) C'mon Daddy, listen to me! All of my life, everyone has always told me, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today I just stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying that I am a ha- It's a metaphor, Daddy!
Monica: Oh, I'm so glad you guys like it. Yay! All right I gotta go to work. (tries to take the poem)
Phoebe: David! (He kisses her cheek) What-what are you doing here? Arent you supposed to be in Russia?
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Phoebe: Yeah! Okay, here you go. (rolls her back to Rachel)
Phoebe: Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. La la la la la la la.
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Ross: Wait a minute, one box! Come on, Im trying to send a little girl to Spacecamp, Im putting you down for five boxes. Chandler, what about you?
Phoebe: (goes over to his desk) Earl! Im Phoebe.
Chandler: Okay (he goes to sit down).
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: Okay, okay... How exactly is a two month old supposed to appreciate puppets?
Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Rachel: Well, I-I know you can do that too. I'm just, I'm just saying if you need somebody to talk to Hi!
Joey: (mad and pointing a finger to himself) JOEY DOESN’T SHARE FOOD!
Phoebe: (to her babies) Stop it!
Roy: Well, look - it's not my fault if you're too uptight to appreciate the male form in all it's glory.
Ross: I gotta get to work.
David: Uh no, I have to go in a few hours. I have to be on the red-eye. Well listen, yknow, next time youre in Minsk umm
Ross: (to Ben) Everything okay in there?
Ross: Look, dont worry about me. Okay? Ill just stay real energetic and stay away from the ball. Ill uh, Ill be that guy right out of the circle. (He points to a player who starts running and then gets viscously tackled from behind.)
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Monica: Oh, we used to drive each other crazy playing the shadow game.
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Joey: Uhh, because I'm shooting a scene right now. Yeah, I uh, I play a gladiator. Uh, y'know what? Hold-hold on a second. (To no one in particular) Can we cut? Yeah, my-my friends are here, I'm gonna take a little break.
ROSS: Oh, oh my God, is this the wrong day? I don't believe it, uh, well, hey, I guess if it works out we'll, we'll have something to tell the grandkids.
Ross: Uh, yknow what? Ill tell you who it hurts! It hurts the kid who has all his clothes stolen in gym class so he has to go to the principals office wearing nothing but a catchers mitt!
Phoebe: I mean I guess, I just have to... tell David that nothing can happen between us. Unless I don't... You know, complicated moral situation, no right, no wrong...
Ross: Well, Rachel moving to another country? Not being able to see her every day. How can I be okay with this?
Ross: Oh, we went to see a collection of Victorian doorknobs and the Cupert-Hewitt museum.
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
(The gang turn to look at Chandler)
[Scene: The rest stop, Phoebe is on the phone to the motor club.]
JOEY: [uses a dentist mirror to see] Naa, she's lyin'.
Chandler: Great! (to Monica) This baby'd better to be really good.
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Ross: BecDid you not hear me?! Shes an assistant professor in the Linguistics department, okay? Theyre wild! Why do you want to come anyway?
Joey: Oh! My head! Oh! (Hes sitting on the chair, lies back, and puts his feet up for Monica to rub.) Oh!
Dr. Rosen: (Smiling even more and attempting to take over) And I'm his friend, Dr.Rosen.
Joey: Yeah, well don't get me wrong, you're a better agent than she is, but at least with her I don't want to blow my pretty dumb brains out.
Rachel: Okay, look, Ross, I realise that my Father is difficult, but thats why you have got to be the bigger man here.
[Scene: The Moondance Diner, Pete is talking to Monica about the restaurant.]
Monica: Anyway um, when he left he forgot to take the poem with him. Now, I am like totally dense about poetry, but I think it's pretty good all right. Check it out. (hands them the poem)
Carol: Look, I-I-I am sorry that Rachel dumped you cause she fell in love with that Mark guy, and you are the innocent victim in all of this, but dont punish your friends for what Rachel did to you.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Joey: No, I gotta wear this thing for a couple weeks. (points to the sling he is wearing)
(Ross points to the explanation and he gets it.)