words in movies
Chandler: Aren't you supposed to be at an audition for another hour?
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
(They wait for Joey to go into his room and close the door and then start making out again.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Rachel's at work.
(They both go to her apartment.)
Phoebe: Yeah, my mom sent me a family heirloom that once belonged to my grandmother. Can you believe it?! A year ago I didn't even have a family, and now I have heirlooms for crying out loud.
(She puts her leg up on the chair and removes this huge knife from her boot to open the box with. The guys are shocked at the knife's existence.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Why would my mother send me a fur? Doesn't she know me but at all! Plus, I have a perfectly fine coat that no innocent animal suffered to make!
Ross: Look, if I can just do what Emily wants and get her to New York, I'm sure everything will be fine.
Monica: Look, I'm not happy about this either, but y'know if-if Ross says he's happy then we're just gonna have to keep our feelings about Emily to ourselves. Are you cool with that?
Monica: Rachel, if you want the little round waffles, you gotta have to wait until I find the little waffle iron.
Monica: All right. (Looking through a box.) Op, here it is! Right underneath the can of-of bug bomb. I wonder if the best place to put something that cooks food is underneath the can of poison?
(She starts to run out but is stopped by a figure looming out of the darkness carrying a pick axe.)
Ross: Nothing. Oh, actually, great news! I just got off the phone with Emily and it looks like I'm moving to a new apartment. Woo-hoo!
Ross: Well, her thought is, and I agree, fresh new furniture, why not a fresh new apartment? Her cousin has this great place to sublet, it's got a view of the river on one side and Columbia on the other.
Joey: That's way uptown! That's like three trains away! (Phoebe pinches him.) Which is great! I love to ride that rail!
Joey: Now he's movin'? Man, what is Emily doing to him? (Phoebe pinches him again.) Ow!! He's not even here!!!
Monica: And he came at us with an axe, so Rachel had to use a bug bomb on him!
[Scene: Their Building, Monica and Rachel are going to apologize to Danny. Rachel knocks on his door, which he opens and he has this really bushy beard and long hair. Picture Paul Bunyan.]
Rachel: Hi! Just so you know, we-we didn't mean to fog you, we thought you were like a yeti or something.
Rachel: Hi! Sorry to bother you, but I don't think we can accept your acceptance of our apology, it just doesn't really seem like you mean it.
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Ross: (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. (Hangs up.)
(He picks up a smaller box and carries it to the moving van as Joey returns.)
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Monica: No, Ross, we do not hate Emily. We-we just, we just think that you're having to sacrifice a whole lot to make her happy.
Ross: Unreasonable? How about we have this conversation when one of you guys gets married! You have no idea what it takes to make a marriage work! All right, it's about compromise! Do you always like it? No! Do you do it? Yes! Because it's not all laughing, happy, candy in the sky, drinking coffee at Central Perk all the time! It's real life, okay? It's what grown-ups do! (He storms out.)
Chandler: Kind of? If you just kept this to yourself none of this would've happened.
Joey: Well, I'm keeping so many things to myself these days, something was bound to slip out! (He glares at Chandler.)
Phoebe: All right, I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places. (She puts on her fur coat.)
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
[Scene: Their building's lobby, Danny is checking his mailbox as Rachel enters carrying shopping bags and goes to her mailbox. Danny has shaved his beard and cut his hair, Rachel doesn't recognize him.]
Danny: I had to cut my hair to get rid of the uh, fogger smell.
Danny: That's cool. Cool. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: Well, y'know, if-if kids like to play with Capri pants.
(Rachel decides not to give up that easily and follows him to his apartment and bangs on the door, which he opens.)
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
[Scene: Ross's now empty apartment, he is spackling some holes shut as the gang comes to apologize.]
Phoebe: (To Chandler) You're kinda stepping on the song. (She gets ready to play but is stopped by )
(She starts to play her song, but is stopped by Monica.)
Rachel: Oh, I went to have pizza. With Danny.
Ross: Wait! Wait! Wait! Y'know what? Just stay. Please? It uh It would really mean a lot to me if you stayed.
(They all run over to the window.)
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
Ross: Hey! (Listens.) Yeah-yeah, we're just having dinner. (Listens.) Uh, yeah, sure uh hold on. (To the gang.) She wants to say hi. (To Emily) Hold on.
(Rachel waves her hands in disgust and starts to head for her room.)
Ross: Emily that's ridiculous. Look, I'm-I'm moving for you, I'm cutting friends out of my life for you. Please, just get on the plane and come to New York. Okay, you'll see you're the only person I want to be with.
[Cut to the inside of the apartment.]
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
[Scene: A curbside newsstand, Phoebe is whistling and walking up to it wearing her fur coat. She stops and starts to look through a magazine and notices a squirrel on a nearby tree chirping at her.]
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Rachel: How about you guys? (Points to Phoebe and Joey.)
Felicity: Um-hum. Talk New York to me again.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Rachel: Okay. Okay. Okay. Joey, I have got to tell you something!
Chandler: No. When it comes to sweets, hes surprisingly strict.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Monica: Well, she corned me! She asked if the wedding was in town! I mean, what was I supposed to do?!
Monica: No-no-no, that's a video-phone. But hey guys you're not supposed to be here, so please, do not touch anything.
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Phoebe: Joey, you pick who ever you want. Okay? You just listen to your heart. What does it tell you? (Mimicking a heartbeat and tapping her chest.) Phoebe, Phoebe.
Joey: Oh, uh, ok. Right this way. All the other pregnant women seem to be goin' in here.
Monica: Oh, well dont take it to the same place you took the stereo, cause theyve had that thing for over a week.
Phoebe: Oh you did? (To Rachel) He did it! He did it!
Joey: Now? You want me to go over there now?
Chandler: That's alright, I'll take it. Bad things happen to me anyway. This way I can break 'em up with a movie.
Chandler: Well yeah! But now that I know that youre having these thoughts, Im back to panic, anxiety, and uh Im definitely gonna need some kind of sports drink.
Rachel: Ross, I said I'm sorry like a million times. What do you want me to do? You want me to break my foot too? Okay, I'm gonna break my foot, right here. (Kicks the sign) Ow!! Oh! Oh my God, oh my God! There, are you happy now?!
Monica: (opening the door) (to Pete) Hey!
[Cut too later, the moving process is progressing steadily. Monica is trying to lift a heavy box, as Rachel comes in from Chandlers bedroom.]
[Cut to another part of the building. We see Marcel jump in through a window and run down some stairs, then Chandler and Joey come down from the upper floor without noticing.]
Rachel: (on phone) Excuse me, Im sorry, Im gonna have to call you back, Ive got a Schemp in my office. (hangs up) (to Ross) What are you doing?
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: The reason we didn't tell anyone was because we didn't want to make a big deal out of it.
Monica: Didnt your dad used to call you Pumpkin?
Ross: (To Rachel) So umm, where are the other guys?
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you?
Janine: Well they said I should bring someone. (To Joey) Do you wanna be my dance partner?
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Phoebe: Now if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.
Phoebe: (To Rachel and Ross) Well, do you think I should propose?
(Rachel tries to hide her alarm, but she squirms in her chair.)
Chandler: (To Phoebe) Y'know what? I have been trying to apologize to him all week! If he's not gonna let me do it on the phone, I'm gonna go down there and do it in person.
Rachel: But you will, you will be performing a service. Okay? Just-just think of me as a ketchup bottle, yknow you sometimes you have to bang on the end of it just to get something to come out.
Charlie: Actually the wet season is June to December.
(Phoebe uses the remote to stop the Spanish by turning off the television.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Joey: One pregnant woman at a time, please! I just want you to be okay.
Chandler: You know what's not funny? Male Pattern Baldness (Monica stretches her neck to look behind Zack's head and then gives Chandler an "ok" sign)
Rachel: (To Monica) Hey!
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Joey: Oh, oh! Any chance any of this happened in a "Galaxy far, far away"? (Ross turns aroud and glares at him. Joey and Rachel decide to leave).
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Ross: You go get em. (to Monica) What did I do to you? Did I hurt you in some way?
Phoebe: (gets up and starts to leave) We want the last six years back!!
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Monica: Yeah. But of course we had to update it a little bit. (To Ross) Hey, by the way, great thinking about catching me!
Janice: Oh no! Where to? (Gasps) Too Paris?
Mischa: (to Monica) So I was wondering....
Phoebe: I would like to make a pledge. I would like to donate $200.
[Scene: Mrs. Verhoevens Apartment, Ross is back to inquire about the elder Verhoevens health or lack there of.]
Chandler: Well, its just the reason that Im asking is because I kind of eh, uh, I was unable toI mean I really wanted too, but I couldnt . There huhhmm, there-there was an incident.
Rachel: I was laughing! You made me laugh! (Monica and Rachel start to squabble)
Ross: The kid...? (To the kid) Excuse me, uh, that's, that's my puck.
JOEY: Yeah, there's just one thing that might be kind've a problem. See, I, uh, had to kiss this guy.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel and Phoebe are helping Monica learn how to roller skate by rolling her between themselves.]
Chandler: Okay. (he starts to leave)
(They move closer to together and Phoebe hesitantly puts her hand on Chandler's hip. He puts his hand on her left hip but then decides to put his hand on her left hip. Phoebe then grabs his butt. Chandler goes for her breast, but stops and puts his hand on her shoulder.)
Ken: That�s right. Is it true, that the reason you are here in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
Joey: What?! He got to do it at your first wedding!
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Joey: Well, it's like, last night, I couldn't do the thing that usually makes me great. So I had to do all this other stuff. And the response I got... man, oh man, it was like a ticker tape parade!
Joshua: Oh yeah, yeah uh, its down the hall and uh, second door to your left.
MR. GREENE: What? The father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
Phoebe: Yeah, and what a great way to say, "I secretly love you, roommate's girlfriend!"
Ross: Can I talk to you for a minute?
Chandler: Oh, you get used to it.
Jay Leno: (On TV to Dick Clark) Is there any entertainment there? What are people doing?
Monica: (To Rachel) Wow! It's really red! You should go see my eye doctor.
Ross: (to Rachel) So, were off.
Chandler: (reading the list) Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins. Teach me how to spell vitamins. Wear in my new jeans.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: (shakes her head) I guess... Oh, I just had such an idea of what this day would be like, you know? Emma laughing and everybody gathered around her cake singing "Happy Birthday". Then we would all go into... HEY GET OUT OF THE ROAD YOU STUPID STUDENT DRIVER!!! (honks furiously, and Ross looks at her in disbelief and Rachel looks at him.) They have to learn!
Rachel: Well would you like me to lie down on the table?
[Scene: Ross's bedroom, Ross is humming the Star Wars theme. Rachel enters, with her hair done up like Princess Leia's, and wearing a belly dancer's outfit, to simulate the gold bikini thing.]
Chandler: But we're not ready to tell yet!
Chandler: (To Monica) Happy plane-aversary.
Joey: (Whispering.) Pisst, Monica. Alright, we really need to start looking out for Rachel. Ill cover the front door. You watch that big hole at the back of the building and I got Chandler covering Ross.
Ross: Yes. I find it to be something of a conversation piece.
Phoebe: (to Monica, whos entering) Hey, youre early.
Rachel: (entering) I didnt ask you to do it!
Ross: Dude, we got to talk.
Phoebe: So umm, Im gonna get us some drinks. (To Rachel) Would you help me out?
Ross: (To the still half asleep Professor) Oh my God! You really want me to be the keynote speaker? Thank you! (hugs him whilst still on his lap)
Rachel: (To Joey) Happy New Year, Joey!
Rachel: Okay no way, you cannot use that to get the cute guy and the last blueberry muffin.
Monica: Okay, if Joey does the ceremony, then we have to find someone else to walk Phoebe down the isle.
Chandler: Oh, just this! (turns around and has a paint lid stuck to the back of his pants.) Yknow what its my fault really, because the couch is usually where we keep the varnish.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
(Monica (Courtney Cox) and Chandler (Matthew Perry) are laughing. That then causes Lisa and Jennifer come out of character and start laughing hysterically. And that finally causes David Schwimmer to come out of character and start laughing as well. Matthew decides to sing along now as well.)
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Rachel: Uh- which one of us are you talking to there, Barr?
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
(Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe start to pick through the lasagne as there's a knock on the door which Monica answers.)
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's apartment.� Mike is blowing a note from his beer bottle.� Ross stares off to the side.)
Rachel: Well, can I talk to you for a sec?
Ross: Okay, okay! Im going. Im going. (goes across the hall to knock on another door.)
(She turns around and throws the bouquet to Phoebe.)
Ross: No, no I dont want to do anything to you. All right? I just want to tell you that Im not mad at you and and that I certainly do not hate you. I just, I just came here to say that. (Starts to leave.)