words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Ross: Watch. (he takes the laptop) Here, you ehm... You highlight the word you want to change. Go under Tools and the Thesaurus generates... 'gives'... 'gives' a whole list of choices. You can pick the word that sounds smartest.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Chandler: (finds his money) Ahh-hahaha! (Turns around to give the Maitre d' his money, but he isn't there anymore)
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
RACHEL: I don't know.� Do I have to decide right now?
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Ross: So when do you think youre gonna talk to her?
Ross: So, uh, this guy, she used to go out with, is, uh is he still in love with her?
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: It means that my guys won't get off their barcaloungers and you have a uterus that is prepared to kill the ones that do. (pause) It means...
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Chandler: Lie!!! How hard is that?! The checks in the mail! Oh your baby is so cute! I cant wait to read your book Ross!!
Agency guy: (to Erica) Well, then if there’s nothing else, then the two of us should talk.
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Chandler: Oh well you're the best. You come here to me.
Monica: What are you doing here? I thought you had to do inventory all day.
Rachel: Let me uh, let me ask you something, do wedding vows mean squat to you people?! And why is it that the second we tell you were going out of town, bamn there you are in bed with the neighbors dog walker?!
CHANDLER: Becasue it reminded you of the way our forefathers used to bitch at each other?
Phoebe: OK fine! Please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
EDDIE: Nice to meet ya.
Chandler: I don't know. That's the thing. I don't know what I want to do. I just know I'm not going to figure it out working there.
DR. REMORE: Well then, uh, I uhh, guess that's me. Anyone else need to go on the elevator? Dr. Horton, Dr. Wong?
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah, he talked to her, but she got on the plane anyway.
Chandler: Its okay, I want this to be your night too. (Raises his class.) To Monica.
Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross!
David: In fact, ehm... I going to kiss you now. (David holds Phoebe and wants to kiss her.)
Joey: (pretending to be an announcer) And the winner is Joey Tribbiani! (He then gets excited and goes over to the counter to practice his acceptance speech using a bottle of maple syrup as the award.) Oh Wow! I honestly never expected this. I uh, I didnt prepare a speech. But umm, Id like to thank (Rachel enters quietly) my parents, whove always been there for me. Id also like to thank my friends, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel
Emily: Yeah, but it-it-its my whole lifeyou come to England.
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Chandler: Okay, I gotta go to work.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I only have twenty minutes until Ethan, so, y'know.. (He starts to raid the fridge.)
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
(Everyone follows Rachel to the living room. Monica pulls Joey aside.)
[Scene: Ross and Rachels, Emma continues crying while Rachel, Monica and Phoebe try different methods to stop her crying.]
Monica: Joey, did you even interview this woman before you asked her to move in?
Charlie: Wait, Ross. Ross. I - I have to take off.
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down, you go way too fast. Ok? Just go back to the MET, ok?
(She hits the jukebox Fonzy style, and Its That Time of Season starts to play, as they start to kiss.)
(Phoebe knocks on the door with the wine and Chandler answers it. Rachel hides next to the door.)
Joey: Hey! No-no-no-no, you cant take him away from me! I got a great partner to pick up girls with! Finally!!
Lecturer: Were beginning to see a lot of layering of sheer fabrics and colours. For instance a sheer navy blouse over a pink....
[Scene: The Jewelry Store, Phoebe is busy trying on virtually everything in the store. Shes got earrings, rings, bracelets, and enough necklaces to put Mr. T to shame on.]
Vince: (to Phoebe) Look, I gotta go. I'm on call tonight. (kisses her) See you Saturday. (leaves)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Ross: Yeah, she never misses these conferences! (then to Charlie) No, I just saw Dr. Kenneth Schwartz!
Monica: Do you wanna live outside?! Because its gettin cold! (To Phoebe) She gets tons of catalogs and umm, shell fold down the pages of the things she thinks that Id like.
ROSS: Do you say this stuff to girls?
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
RACHEL: What? C'mon, talk to me.
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Phoebe: Why are you lying to him?
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God.
Phoebe: (singing) Crazy underwear, creepin up my butt. (Jason enters) Crazy underwear, always in a rut. Crazy under-(sees Jason)-wear (In her head) Oh No! What is he doing here? All right, just keep playing, just keep playing. Youll get through this; youll be fine. (She tries to continue the song, but she has lost the ability to pronounce words, and the lyrics come out as gibberish.) (giving up on the song) Okay, thank you. And, as always no one talk to me after the show.
Monica: Oh my God, it's gonna WORK! We're gonna make it work! I'm gonna be a mummy and (to Chandler) you're gonna be a daddy! All right, I'll see you suckers. I'm gonna get me... A BABY! {she leaves)
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: Okay. There may be a way that we can get the other ring back. Cause I heard the guy tell the jeweler where he was going to propose. So maybe we can get him to trade rings or something.
Joey: ...Ninety-five, ninety-six, ninety-seven. See, I told you! Less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Great! Umm, well what-what I was doing in Chandler's room is that umm, I was cleaning it! In fact, he pays me to clean it!
Monica: Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
RICHARD: Uh, Phoebe, I don't think your mom would want you to see what's about to happen.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
Monica: All right. (Goes to take off the dress.)
Joey: Well, that's gonna be tough Mon. I mean it's hard for me to be around an attractive woman and not flirt.
Monica: (jumps over a box) Honey, that's a great idea nailing the boxes to the floor!
Ross: No need to point, she knows who Ross is.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Ross: Okay, each team will answer ten questions. The first team that answers the most questions wins. Okay, the categories are, Fears and Pet Peeves, Ancient History, Literature, and Its All Relative. Now, the coin toss to see who goes first. (He flips the coin and they all watch it hit the table and stop. Then they all look up at him, to see who goes first.) Okay, somebody call it this time.
JOEY: (entering) Man, I got this close to him (holds up his fingers) and Monica kneed me in the back. What's going on?
Chandler: (to the others) You hear that? You may not be with your families, but at least it's gonna smell like ham in here.
Chandler: (In a parent-like tone) Ill talk to them!
ROSS: Open up. We want to talk to you.
Monica: This is Monica! I'm Phoebe's friend. Listen, Phoebe is back with David and he's going to propose to her, and she is going to say "yes" but I know she really wants to be with you!
Mr. Geller: What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
Chandler: I dunno what it is, it just doesnt quite feel like Christmas to me.
David: Why not? It's brilliant! (talking to an imaginary Mike) Goodbye Mike, we'll see you at the wedding, fella! (pause) well, we probably won't invite you to the wedding... (to Chandler) Thank you, Chandler. Sincerely.
Mike: (to Phoebe) You look really beautiful.
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Ross: Okay, Pheebs: Right hand blue. (Phoebe has to bend over.)Good. (Joey stares at her butt appreciatively)
Phoebe: A little. (She turns around and looks up.) (To the universe) Now youre talking.
Ross: Ive got to say; I know I divorce a lot of women, never thought I would be divorcing you.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: You wanted it to be a surprise.
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Carol: I guess so. (Carol starts to breast feed Ben.)
JOEY: No, can we get back to me?
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Rachel: (to Monica) So, how was your date?