words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Phoebe: Oh, I took Larry there to eat but it was all violated. So we shut it down!
Ross: Yeah! Got it! (slams the phone down, and walks back to the bar.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, listen, umm, Mom, I hope you know you still mean a lot to me. And youre welcome to come back anytime.
Frank: Yeah, yknow when we found out we were going to have a baby, yknow I figured yknow like I should yknow have like a careerand I love refrigerators!
David: Right-o, right-o... (to Mike) Take good care of her. (and he leaves)
Rachel: Pheebs, I have to ask you
Chandler: And uh, Rachel, glad to have you back.
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
(We hear the guys start to attack him, but the guy manages to calm them down and gets them to agree to what he did. Monica throws up her hands in disgust.)
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
Monica: Danny? You know Rachel? Shes nice. Shes not bad to look at, right?
Joey: (trying to act like hes not the one that stinks.) Whoa! Yeah, what the hell is that? What smells so bad?
[Cut to the balcony with Monica and Tim.]
Monica: Listen, we dont have to make that a guest room, we can think of something to do with the room together.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Joey: (sheepishly) I finished my book. (Chandler and Monica slowly retreat back to bed.)
Phoebe: (leaning to him) She said, "Hes obviously still in love with this Rachel girl." (He glares at her.)
Joey: Wouldn't you pay good money to see these identical hands showcased in some type of a uh, entertainment venue?
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Chandler: Thats not true! I wanted to wear my bathrobe and eat peanut clusters all day. I wanted to start drinking in the morning. Dont say that I dont have goals!
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Joey: Well, back to square one.
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
Joey: Sure, what do you want to see?
Chandler: All right fine, don't do anything, just sit here and talk to us, meanwhile she is talking to him about you. And he's being Mr. Joe Sensitive, and she starts thinking 'Maybe this is the guy for me, because he understands me.'
Chandler: Yes. Yes, and ah, ah, the trees are happy too, because for most of them, its the only chance to see New York.
RACHEL: OK, listen, I'm sorry about last night and I really want to make it up to you.
Ross: Oh, you-youre-youre one to talk.
Janine: Well I did. I really did. And you guys, Ive got to say, Im sorry if I was a little weird after the last time we went out. I guess I was just nervous or something.
Joey: Oh my God. So thats it?! I only get to bring one guest?
Joey: Hey! You ready to go?
Rachel: Oh God Monica hi! I just went to your building and you weren't there and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here and you are, you are!
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
Mark: Um, y'know, before we go ah, theres something I need to say.
Phoebe: oh I dunno I dunno, you know I mean I like him but am I ready to take my grade a loins off the meat market.
Phoebe: (To Chandler) Here he is.
Monica: Because it would totally freak him out and tomorrow's our anniversary. I just don't want anything to spoil that.
Ross: Hey Erica, welcome back to town! (pause) Wow, look how big you've gotten.
Ross: (to Carol) Yeah, listen...
JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .
[cut to Gunther retraining Rachel.]
Rachel: Okay, you want me to stop at the ATM?
[Starts to walk down the aisle, unfortunately she doesn't realize that her dress is bunched up in her underwear and her butt is showing.]
Rachel: Nothing! Oh God, we're just so excited that you want to get this apartment!
Phoebe: (on phone from Central Perk) Hey Joey, I just wanted to let you know that I found a selfless good deed. I just went down to the park and I let a bee sting me.
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
(They both sprint to what used to be their apartment.)
Gary: Hey, anybody want to meet a hero?
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Phoebe: You know.. you let your guard down, you start to really care about someone, and I just- I- (starts chewing her hair)
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Kate: Oh, yeah. I love Jennifer Van Murrays work. Shes so brilliantly incisive when it comes to deconstructing the psyche of the American middle class.
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Rachel: Oh god. Oh, am I being like a total laundry spaz? I mean, am I supposed to use like one machine for shirts and another machine for pants?
Monica: Wow, you seem to be doing so much better. Thats great. So how-how are things going?
(The lights go up on the stage, Joey, as Freud, is talking to a female patient.)
Monica: Ah, well if you dont clear this off, you wont be getting one of those from me. But Bens coming over here tomorrow to play this game, this cant be there.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
Monica: What one? You wanted him to invite you to the party and he did it!
Joey: (says hi to his grandma) Look! Oh! (Pointing out the window.) Is that the Pope?! (Chandler and his grandma turn to look and Joey slips a tape into the VCR.)
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
[Cut to Monica and Rachel's]
Ross: Until we start to look very small.
Rachel: Anyway, I'm going to be the coordinator of the woman's collection, I'll work right under the director, it's the perfect, perfect job for me!
[Cut to Joey]
Richard: Oh, Im sorry. (Introduces them.) Lisa, (nodding at each) Monica, Chandler. We used to date.
Chandler: (To Joey) Hey!
[Cut to Phoebe]
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Phoebe]
[Cut to Joey]
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
[Cut to Joey]
[Cut to Chandler]
Grandma Tribbiani: (Something in Italian to Joey.)
[Cut to Chandler]
MONICA: No, if he doesn't like our cookies, too bad, I am not gonna be blackmailed. Look if worse comes to worse, it gets a little warm, we'll call it a theme party.
Ross: Okay. So well Ill umm, (To Rachel) Ill have her home by midnight.
Rachel: And I-I am just trying to figure out why.
Rachel: Yeah, we got a lot to do! We gotta think about the flowers, the caterers, the music
INTERVIEWER: And if I want to call for a reference on your last job?
Chandler: Do we have to?
Phoebe: (going over to comfort her) Aww, Pheebs.
[Cut to Joey]
Ross: (on the phone) Goodnight sweetheart! I love you. And remember, you're daddy's little girl... (covering the phone, to Rachel) Phoebe's totally ruined that for me... (he passes the receiver to Rachel)
Phoebe: Or we could use it to call China. See how those guys are doing.
Mrs. Waltham: No, Im bored with you now. Im going to cut you off. (She hangs up.)
Joey: Youre ready to have a baby? My boys all grown up!
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
PHOEBE: I'm so sorry honey, but, okay, Rachel gave this guy her number and, um, she doesn't want Ross to answer the phone.� So, you have to intercept all his calls.
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Rachel: Yeah it is, it is. (to Ross) We really, really have to do something about that.
Chandler: Okay. You have to stop the Q-tip when there's resistance!