words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
Chandler: You wanna talk about people's feelings? You should have heard how hurt professor Stern was yesterday when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
Monica: I know that switch does something, okay? So-so I went down to city hall and got these. All I had to do was pay $25 and wait in line for three hours.
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Monica: Yeah, were trying to get pregnant.
Chandler: No, I just always see guys doing this when they get handcuffs taken off them. (He runs over to where his pants are hanging) Hello sweet pants!
Dr. Leedbetter: Threatening letters, refusal to meet deadlines, apparently people now call you mental.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is teaching Richard how to make lasagne.]
Joey: (trying not to laugh) That means a lot to me man. (Exits.)
Rachel: Hey. I need to tell you something.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Monica:: he has to work, there's some rush on the big (pause, thinks) ah damn it one of these days I'm really gonna have to start listening when he talks about his job.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: You were gonna propose to me?
Joey: Wait! Terry! WaitLookWait I-I Look, Im really sorry about before. I was an idiot thinking Im too big to audition for you. You gotta give me another chance.
Ross: (on phone) Yeah, hi, I was just beeped. (pause) No, Andr� is not here. (to Joey) Third time today. (on phone) Yes, I'm sure... No, sir. I don't perform those kind of services.
Rachel: I want me to stay too.
Ross: To be fair, he doesnt seem to be impersonating Fonzie
Phoebe: I cant believe I still dont know what happened to the window in the attic!
Joey: Okay. Hey uh, when do I get to meet the robot?
Ross: So you said yes to him, and you just had our baby?
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Joey: Yeah, and there wont be a relationship left to rebuild.
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Paul: Wait! Wait! Listen! Listen to this! (Flips a couple pages and points to something.) Yknow what I wanted to be when I was that age?
[Scene: The Airport, Carol and Ross are waiting for Emily and Susan to deplane. A gorgeous woman walks by and they both turn to watch her go.]
Phoebe: Hmm, something bad to tell Rachel Bad news for Rachel, what could that be?!
Monica: (to Ross) Honey, its not pushy, he gave her his home number.
Monica: Oh, just so you know, you-you have to let him win.
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Donny: Joey describe these things associated with the United States congress. (Joey goes form looking very confident to looking very shocked the instant the word congress is said) Give me 20 seconds on the clock please. Ready? Go!
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Joey: Cut it out Ross! I hate to have to save your life and kick your ass in the same day!
Joey: Man, I'm getting pretty tired. You're might have to take over soon.
Rachel: Am I going to let you watch me undress?
Ross: Phoebe, you cant force kids to be friends.
Joey: Hey. Uh, can I talk to you for a second? This, uh, kid in this picture. Do you, uh, know this kid? Is that like a relative or something?
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Ross: Why dont we talk about this on the way to the hospital?
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica: Sounds smart and healthy to me. So um, just out of curiosity, um, do you currently have any other racquetball buddies?
Rachel: Okaaay. (To the guys, on the couch) Any of you guys want anything else?
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Joey: Uhh, well Ive got an audition down the street and I spilled sauce all over the front of my shirt. (Removes his hand to reveal a huge sauce stain.) You got an extra one?
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Joey: You, you want me to help you with that?
Joey: But you two were supposed to be together.
Ross: Shh! (singing) Here we come, walkin' down the street, get the funniest looks from, everyone we meet. Hey, hey! (to Carol) Hey, uh, did you just feel that?
Rachel: Here you go. (Hands Emma to Phoebe)
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Chandler: Were moving to Tulsa
Monica: Werent you asked to leave sonny?
Rachel: (To Monica) Do you have to go?
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
[Scene: A Portrait Studio, Chandler and Monica are trying to take their engagement picture. Monica has a beautiful smile, while Chandler isnt.]
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Stage Director: We're on in 3, 2, (points to Gary Collins.)
Phoebe: Ok. I mean I know I did the right thing. You know, Mike never wants to get married and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future... but... pretty soon I'm gonna miss him so much. I'm gonna wanna see him again and you have to stop me from doing that.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Phoebe: Wh.. what? No wait, you don't get to leave! I've got a massage client waiting outside my door any minute!
Monica: NOW!!!!!!!! (Rachel runs off and Monica gets up to follow her.)
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Erica: (To Chandler) We had a good time. By the way, I wanted to ask you something. It would really mean a lot to me, if the baby was a boy, that you name him after my father, Jiminy Billy Bob (Monica smiles at Chandler and his he looks shocked and scared, getting no support from his wife)
Rachel: No I know, because to be a grandmother you have to be married and have children and I dont have any of those things. Thats why its so funny. (Runs into her room crying.)
Rachel: My boss wants to buy my baby!
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa! Youre not gonna use the pay phone to call work, are ya?
Rachel: You know the book says that whenever shes sleeping I should be sleeping so (She gives Monica thumbs and goes to lay down)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
Ross: Okay, look, I-I know what you guys are going to say
Phoebe: (on phone) 'Right, well look, um, if Joey loses this audition, that is it for Estelle. I don't care! Annie you are a doll, what time can you see him?' (to Monica) I need a pen. (Chandler hands her one, but she needs something to right on, so she tilts Chandler's head over and writes on the back of his neck)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel approaching table one.]
Chandler: I figured Id buy those. Pat, Id like to buy a vow. (Laughs)
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Emily: I cant believe theyre doing that to him! I told them to go easy on him!
Joey: No I mean it! I cant believe they would do this to you! And to your fans! I mean they are going to be devastated! Heart broken! They love you so much!
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Phoebe: Wow, what is with all the negativity? You sound like Monican't , not Monican... (Monica looks almost puzzled) ...Monica. Look, you know, you have been playing around with this catering thing for over three years. Do you want to be a caterer or not?
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
Ross: Yeah! Yes! Thank you! This is great. Thank you so much. And I swear, your kid is going to have the time of his life.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Joey: Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Phoebe: I am soo dead. (goes to Monicas room)
Chandler: Have you talked to him lately?
Joey: Hi Alex! (to the director) And uh, as you can see my hands are not in my pants. (Holds them both up.)
Chandler: Yeah, and then I fell asleep on the subway and went all the way to Brooklyn. Brooklyn is f-far!!
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Monica: Promise to call me when you land.
Chandler: Should we tell Rachel theres an empty private room right next door to hers?
Phoebe: Oh sure! (She goes to take her feet off, but drags the sheet with her which spills the wine.) Noo!