words in movies
Ross: Y'know if we ever go to war and youre captured, youre in for a big surprise.
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Monica: He used to lock himself in the basement for hours. No one was every allowed to hear, "The Sound."
[Cut to later that same day, Ross has retrieved his keyboard and is about to debut, "The Sound."]
(Ross starts to play. He plays a key that has a back beat sound attached to it. Over the background music he plays the sound of a barking dog, a mooing cow, a laser beam, someone coughing, a jackhammer, a doorbell, a police siren, a ray gun, breaking dishes, and for a closer he plays the sound of a loud crash. Basically, the music sucks.)
Ross: Wow! Thanks, you guys. Thats uhohhh, I wanna, I wanna play you another piece! Umm! Uh-oh! I left my uh, helicopter sounds on another disk. Ill be right back! Okay? (Runs to fetch them) This is so nice, ImI am so (starts to break up and leaves)
Joey: We broke down on the Parkway, so I have to walk back and get some transmission fluid. And hey, listen could you please tell Kathy that Ill be there as soon as I can.
Joey: Cause I only have one quarter, and I think my time is about to(he stops talking suddenly)
Chandler: (to Kathy) Uhh, that was Joey. Hes running a little late, he says hes sorry.
Chandler: Oh, I had an appointment to get my haircut
[Cut to later, Kathy is cutting Chandlers hair.]
Kathy: Checking to see if its even.
(They lean in to kiss and are interrupted by the phone.)
Chandler: (jumping up to answer the phone) Oh the phone! The phones making sounds! (On phone) Hello!
Joey: Listen uh, Im really sorry, it looks like Im gonna be stuck here for a while. I got the transmission fluid, but when I went to put it in the car, the transmission wasnt there!
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
Kathy: (on phone) Hey. (listens) Oh no its fine, dont worry about it. (listens) Yeah-no, stop apologizing, its okay. (listens) Yeah! Ill talk to you tomorrow. (hangs up) (to Chandler) I should uh, probably go.
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Chandler: Bye. (Kathy leaves and Chandler wonders over to and leans up against the door.) Are you still out there?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: (to Rachel and Phoebe) Y'know, theres a Starbucks about three blocks down.
[cut back to Ross who finally finishes his so-called song with the same crash from before. He gets some applause, mainly cause hes done.]
Monica: (to Phoebe) Hey, arent you up next?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Chandler: Hang on buddy! (He goes over and unlocks the door and opens it to reveal a fully furnished apartment.)
Chandler: Well, I just thought itd make me feel good to do something nice for my friend.
Ross: (to Phoebe) Hey!
Ross: Oh, thanks, thanks. So Monica tells me that uh, you dont want to play anymore because me and y'know my talent. Is that true?
Phoebe: Yeah, I-I cantI mean yknow I was trying to be really y'know okay and upbeat about it, I justI feel so dwarfed by your musical gift. I
Ross: See but, Pheebs that-that is the exact opposite intent of my music. Yknow my music is-is meant to inspire, and if it bothers you this much, then I I wont play anymore.
Chandler: Then why didnt you tell me to do that?!!
Ross: Well, I said-I said something to Phoebe.
Rachel: Well, Chandler, youre gonna have to tell him.
Chandler: Why?! Why do I have to tell him?!
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: Yeah. You know why? Cause you came to me first.
Chandler: Well, I thought that would be the best thing to do.
Joey: But hey, listen just so you know, you might have youre work cut out for you. Cause when I talked to her, I kinda got the feeling that shes into some other guy. So
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: Who cares?! You went behind my back! I would never do that to you!
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Yes. Yes! Right! And I feel horrible. You have to believe me!
Joey: Is that why you bought all this stuff?! (Chandler makes a face like "Well, kinda.") Well, yknow what I will not watch your TV, I will not listen to your stereo, and theres a cinnamon raisin loaf in the new bread maker that Im not gonna eat! You know why?!
Ross: Thank you, thanks. (Sits down next to the girls) Yeah, I lost it. Yknow, Im not gonna play anymore, (to Phoebe) would you, can you finish my set?
(Phoebe gets up and goes to play, Ross goes over and sits down next to Monica and Rachel.)
Monica: Okay, so you were trying to play bad this whole time.
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Elizabeth: Okay. I didnt know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Ross: No, no, we want to wait, right?
Monica: Rachel would be Phoebes, I would be Rachels, that way we all get to do it once and no one would get upset.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
[Joey and Ross go to the door, ready to leave.]
Joey: You fell asleep!! There was no kangaroo! They didnt take any of my suggestions! Thats for coming buddy. Ill see you later. (Starts to walk out.)
Chandler: Im not going to let you say anything.
[Cut to Mona and Ross walking past Chandler.]
Ross: Look I've already looked at like a thousand apartments this month and none of them even compares to that one!
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Dina: Joe, I tried to wait until I was 25 like you did!
Phoebe: Well, then tell him to stop staring!
Joey: Just casually slip it in, yknow lay the groundwork. Tell her uh, Im a lonerNo! An outlaw! Tell her she doesnt want to get mixed up with the likes of me.
Joey: It's not right what Emily wants you to do! She is totally-(The gang enters behind Joey and Phoebe pinches him again.)-Owww!! Stop pinching me! Look, now you guys said I only had to keep my mouth shut as long as Ross was happy, right? Well he just told me that he's not entirely happy.
Monica: Yeah, I talked to you on the phone, Im the lady that got stuck with the racecar bed.
Ross: Anyway. Thats when our Mom said we were not to play football ever again.
TERRY: F.Y.I.. I've decided to pay a professional musician to play in here on Sunday afternoons. Her name is Stephanie... something. She's supposed to be very good.
Monica: Well thats a little crazy. Although I am yknow glad to hear that youre branching out on what you look at on the Internet.
Rachel: Well yknow, I dont want you to be cold.
Rachel: Oh my God Phoebe, this is impossible! We cant do this by Friday! We have to find a place. We have to invite people! We have to get food! Theres just too much to do! Its impossible! We cant do it! We cannot do it! We cannot do it!
Phoebe: Yeah! Yknow, we were really huge too, but then they had to shut us down when Regina Philange died of alcohol poisoning.
Ross: Permission to veto.
Chandler: (To Monica) You told her?!
Monica: Yeah, Im going to take a bath. Im just going to get a magazine.
(All animosity forgotten, Rachel holds the receiver out as she limps quickly over to her friend, who stands up in concern.)
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
Rachel: Well, I was kinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: Come on you guys, we want you to know we're (His eye widen even more) very very sorry. (Monica and Chandler are now covering their eyes with their hands) (then to the others in the hall) Right guys?
Rachel: (picks it up) OK... ah, it's light... (shakes it)...it rattles... it's... (opens it) Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you! (she gives it back to him)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
MONICA: Listen you guys, I don't mean to be a pain about this but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on. You wanna push the caps until you hear them click. [she demonstrates, Gunther starts to walk to the door] Gunther, where're you going?
Monica: It's gonna be weird to watch some actor pretending to be Ben's dad.
(Monica and Rachel begin to read from the script.)
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Rachel: He was a hamster! I am not going to vacuum up my baby!
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, shes returning from lunch to see Tag not doing his sit-ups.]
Richard: Oh, thank you. Youre welcome. (He stands up, staggers to the couch, and starts to lie down.)
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Phoebe: (entering) Hello Chandler, lovely day huh? (To Monica) You!
MNCA: Sure, what? Ok, ok. [hangs up the phone] [to Rachel] Music?
Monica: Ah no, the other Phoebe, the one you went to go see.
Ross: (tries to snatch it from the kid) GIVE ME MY PUCK!! (but it files out of his grasp and knocks out the receptionist)
Woman: Uh, actually I find Marions views far to progressionist.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
CHAN: [to Phoebe] Listen, Phoebs, this is gonna be OK. [introducing Russ and Ross] Ross, Russ. Russ, Ross.
Rachel: (on phone) Hello? (Shocked that someone answered.) Uh, Rachel. (To the gang.) Great, someone is in our apartment. Call the cops!
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Chandler: Well, I think I judged her too quickly, and this time we were able to take the relationship to the next level.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross and Joey are talking to Frank.]
Rachel: Oh you went to the movies by yourself?
Chandler: There has got to be a way!
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Joey: He's right, man. Please. Move on. Go to China. Eat Chinese food.
Rachel: Well, Joshuas coming in tomorrow and since I dont have the guts to ask him out, Im going to sell him a coat and put this note in the pocket.
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Chandler: I want to say you but, that seems like such an easy answer.
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Ross: YAY! (He continues the happiness with her by dancing around) quick thing, I went to talk to Mike.
Joey: (To Ross) Problem solved.
Monica: Oh no! You werent supposed to see this!
Chandler: Easy for you to say; youll be wearing a veil.
Chandler: Good morning everyone, it�s nice to see our team together for the first time. Now, before we get started, are there any questions? (colleague raises hand) Yes, Ken is it?
Amy: oh... hi.. <goes to Rachel with open arms>
(..then turn back to the desk when the surprise hits them, and Ross and Chandler whip around once more. Monica and Rachel recoil slightly.)
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
Gunther: (to Joey) You want anything?
Ross: Uh, Im going to take off.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Ugh, can you believe that guy!
Ross: You have to respect the sea! (Storms off.)
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
Nurse: Why dont we try massaging the breast to stimulate the flow. (Does so.)
Phoebe: So, what did Rachel say when you told her you were still married to her?
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.