words in movies
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Phoebe: Because, every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Phoebe: Yes, while I was in the chair! Thats why I take such good care of my teeth now, y'know, its not about oral hygiene, I floss to save lives!
Ross: Pheebs, come on, you didnt kill anybody, these people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. Its, its, its just ah, a coincidence.
Phoebe: Well tell that to them. Oh! You cant, their dead.
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Phoebe: (trying to bite into an apple) Ow! Ow! (drops the apple in disgust.)
Rachel: Phoebe, your in pain, would you just go to the dentist, just go.
Ross: What? (to Joey) So what are you going to do? I mean how, how are you going to tell Chandler?
Joey: Well, I was thinking about that and I, I think the best way would be, to not.
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Ross: Okay, I have a problem I have to go into work for a few hours, some kids messed up the Homo Sapien display.
Monica: So, do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Ross: Yes, thats what I was going to ask, thank you.
Ross: You? You! Want to watch Ben? (in the background Monica mouths Dont worry, Ill be here the whole time. to Ross.) Yes! Thatd be great, no, I just wanted to ask Monica, because I know how empty her life is. (Monica sarcastically mouths Yeah! and holds up her thumb.)
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
[cut to later]
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Rachel: So were okay, were okay, were okay, (starts to exam Ben) arent we? No, were not okay, were not okay, theres a bump, theres a bump.
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Chandler: Janices birthday is coming up, I want to get her something speacial. Come in here with me.
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, whoa. Do you ah, want to get her something speacial, get her flowers, get her candy, get her gum, girls love gum.
Chandler: Thats a good idea, Dear Janice have a Hubba-Bubba birthday. I would like to get her something serious.
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Joey: Okay. I went down to the Mattress King showroom and, and I saw Janice, kissing her ex-husband.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is waiting for Janice to arrive, and is angrily fllipping through a magazine.]
(Janice starts to breath into it and sucks in the reciept, and then spits it out.)
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Rachel: Monica, number one, I dont think Ben understands the concept of bribery, and number two, I... (Joey starts laughing in the background) (to Joey) What?!
Joey: Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still. (Phoebe runs to the window and gasps.)
[Cut to later, all except Chandler are staring out the window at Ugly Naked Guy.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Chandler: I talked to Janice.
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Chandler: What? (turns around quickly still ready to throw the dart and Joey quickly ducks and hides behind the chair) What are you, what are you talking about?
Joey: They have a kid together, y'know. Theyre like, theyre like a family, and if, I dont know, theres chance they could make that work, I know I wouldnt want to be the guy who stood in the way of that. Are you okay? Do you wanna ah, come poke a nude guy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross has just finished putting Ben to sleep, and is entering from Rachels room.]
Ross: I know! Im saying you have to watch them all the time.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Monica: (coming out of the bedroom) You jerk! You know how much I love that kid! (starts to chase Ross around the living room)
Chandler: Janice, I have something I need to tell you, and I want you to let me get through it, because its, its, its not gonna be easy.
Chandler: Yeah, well. Its the right thing to do.
Janice: Oh! Youre right. Oh God. But, before I can say good-bye, theres something I really need you to know, Chandler. The way I feel about you, its like, I finally understand what Lionel Richies been singing about. Y'know, I mean what we have, its like movie love, youre my soulmate, and I cant believe were not going to be spending the rest of our lives together.
Janice: No, you were right, you were right. I mean, I-I-Ive got to give my marriage another chance.
Chandler: No you dont! No, no, no, I say you have to give your divorce another chance.
Janice: No, I-I-I gotta go. (she starts to walk away, but Chandler doesnt let her go.)
Chandler: I dont care! (turns around and to the people watching them) I dont care!!
Janice: Yeah, um, Im, Im leaving now. (tries to get her leg out of Chandlers grasp, she finally does, but Chandler takes off her shoe.)
Joey: All right now remember, something this big and long is going to be difficult to manuver, fortunately I have a lot of experience in that area.
Phoebe: Im telling you hes dead. What we are about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick.
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is listening to a Lionel Richie album]
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Parker: Oh well, at least you were lucky to have him. Bow-wow old friend, bow-wow. So wheres the party?
Joey: What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!!
Monica: So, I�m, I�m probably still ovulating. Do you want to give it another try?
Sandy: (In a puppet voice) So you see Wigglemunch, that's why it's important to shaaaaaaare...
Joey: I tried to call you from the coffee shop, and there was no answer.
Joey: Yeah, I just… I just feel bad about firing Estelle. This is got to be killing her.
Chandler: Alright. Once I got on the subway, right, and it was at night, and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn... just for the hell of it.
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Phoebe: No. No, I wont. But I should tell you this, this exact same thing happened to my roommate Denise. She moved in with a guy who was secretly married to her and he said he didnt love her, but he really did, and it just blew up! And thats how she ended up living with me! (Ross looks at her.) (Pause) Okay, thats a lie.
Ross: I think you would have to clean a whole lot of apartments to go all the way to India.
Chandler: (to Joey) You are really frightening me.
Monica: Good, so do it Saturday night because were going to dinner with her and Clark.
Ross: I know! I know! Why do you guys need to have this conversation?! Huh? I mean no self-respecting man would ask a woman, "So, where is this going?"
Rachel: Well okay, how about four hours in a freezing museum auditorium listening to Professor Pitstains and hes Hey everybody! Remember that thing thats been dead for a gazillion years. Well theres this little bone we didnt know it had!
Ross: I know! It's like, if you knew, why didn't you tell me, you know? I mean, call, or leave a note: "Hi, I just dropped by to say your wife's gay"
Ross: What?! Look, were trying to rebuild a relationship here, right. How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with each other?
JADE: Hello, I'm looking for Bob. This is Jane. I don't know if you're still at this number, but I was just thinking about us, and how great it was, and, well, I know it's been three years, but, I was kinda hoping we could hook up again. I barely had t he nerve to make this call, so you know what I did?
Rachel: Nooo! Phoebe, of course there is more! I mean, I'll just go and talk to Monica and get an ETA on the pee-pee's!
(Everyone stands up. Cut to Ross and Monica in Nana's room.)
Phoebe: I dont what your talking about. (Laughs nervously and continues to leaqve)
[Cut to later, Phoebe is still in the chair and Rachel is laying down as Monica enters.]
PHOEBE: Maybe the overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts.
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Phoebe: This is fashion?! (Grabs the coat from Rachel.) Okay, so to you, death is fashion?! That's really funny. (She puts the coat on and starts to model it.) Here's Phoebe umm, sporting uh, y'know, cutting edge hairy carcass from y'know, the steal traps of wintry Russia. I mean, you really thing this looks good? (Sees herself in the mirror.) 'Cause I do.
Phoebe: Ohh, you and your ways. (She shakes the bell at him and sits down.) Since its Christmastime. Im going to be one of those people collection donations.
Tag: Ms. Green would like to establish some ground rules before she comes out. She would appreciate it if you dont use the words old or downhill or (To Joey) they still look pretty damn good. (Joey smiles and everyone glares at him.)
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
Monica: Ah, thank you. This building does have a wholesome family feel to it.
(Mike starts to kneel in front of Phoebe.)
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Joey: Thanks so much, Pheebs! (to the dog) We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! (the dog sticks his head between Joeys legs) Oh! Not that kind of fun.
PHOEBE: Oh good, ok. Oh nooo, I have to go because I'm late for my um, Green Eggs and Ham discussion group. Um tonight it's why he would not eat them on a train. Have fun bye.
Dr. Green: Oh really? Thats how treat a friend? You get her in trouble and then refuse to marry her?
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
[Scene: The Animal Hospital, the guys have taken the duck in to remove the ring. Joey is pacing around like an expectant father.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! I had the best time with Tim last night. He is so sweet! Oh, I cant wait to get sous-neath him.
Ross: SON OF A BITCH! (turns to his right to see three kids staring at him) (To the kids) Oh relax! I didn't say the 'F' word! (They go away)
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Ross: Thanks Aunt Pheebs. Hey, you didn't microwave that, did you, because it's breast milk, and you're not supposed to do that.
[Time lapse, Ross has been demoted to the back seat with Joey and Chandler. He's not too happy about it.]
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone but Joey is waiting for Phoebe to arrive for her surprise birthday party. Rachel and Monica is telling Chandler about Rachel's incident.]
Phoebe: (to Chandler and Monica) You guys, what, what do we do about Ross who drove all the way up here? What do we do? Just like send him back and were then gonna go skiing?
(They all say to Monica, clink their glasses, and drink.)
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: I'm not in charge of where the conference is held. Do you want people to think it's a fake conference? It's a real conference.
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
David: Okay, okay, okay. (Gets ready to sweep, and then picks up a laptop computer) Y'know what, this was just really expensive. (Puts it down elsewhere. Then picks up a microscope) And I'll take- this was a gift. (Moves it)
Chandler: All right look, am I serious, okay? Tomorrow at 3:30 I am going down to the courthouse.
Phoebe: Yeah, but then Jacques Cousteau came and he kicked his ass for betraying me! It was soo cool! Then, he took me diving and he introduced me to his pet seahorse, who, by the way, was totally coming on to me, and please, that is not gonna happen.
[Cut to the girls apartment.]
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Joey: Yeah, shes been in there all day (Points to her room), uh high fever, a nose problem Phlegm! Phlegm! Phlegm-phlegm-phlegm!
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
(They both start to frantically rip each others clothes off, but are interrupted when Joey tries to open the door.)
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
Ross: (to Chandler) It's her first day at this new job. Your not supposed to start with her!
[Scene: Phoebes apartment building, in desperation she has wrapped up the smoke detector in a blanket and is going to throw it into the trash chute.]
(Monica plays those words back in her mind and then smiles and runs to Chandler, who is twisting with joy. They hug.)
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Phoebe: Uh-huh. (To the embryos) Good luck.
ROSS: [approaching the mover holding the parrot] Hey hold on, hold on. How much for the uh, how much to save the bird?
Chandler: I have to; hes my best friend, and youre seeing him.
Chandler: Yeah, Jell-o just like Mom used to make.
Ross: Cause otherwise theyd have to call it the room room.
Rachel: Do you want me to come over there and sit on you? Cause Ill do it.
Ross: Listen, you are hearing one side of the story, okayand F.Y.I she mustve shown Kyle over 30 paint samples before she painted that room! And his response to each one was, "I dont give a tiny rats ass."
Phoebe: No I'm not. No! If anything I'm making you look better! They'll see you talking to me and that's--I'm a hit!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Like-like when Im doing something exciting and I dont wanna get too excited, I just ahh, yknow try to thing of other things like ah sandwiches, and ah baseball, and ah Chandler!
Rachel: Uh well, I guess Im not gonna miss the fact that youre never allowed to move the phone pen. (Laughs. Monica lags behind the laugh a little bit.)
Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.
MR. GELLER: Atta boy. [Ross scrambles upstairs to change]
(They go out to investigate, and find Joey wrapped in a blanket watching their television.)
ESTL: Stop saying you're not talented, you're very talented. It's just with the bird dead and all, there's very little act left. Oh, honey, give me a break, will ya? [a knock on the door] Oooh, ooh, I'll talk to you later.
Chandler: Yeah! (Takes it.) If-if-if we did do this there would be a lot of pressure on me, yknow? Because youve been waiting a very long time and I wouldnt want to disappoint you.
[Scene: The Virgin Atlantic flight to London that Rachel is on.]
Chandler: Someone's left a glass on the coffee table. There's no coaster. It's a cold drink, it's a hot day. Little beads of condensation are inching their way closer and closer to the surface of the wood...
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Ross: Oh. Listen, do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of a factor herebut do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime? Maybe?
Chandler: Would you get that please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
Joey: Na-uh! (To everyone there) Hey did anybody lose their keys?
Ross: No no no, believe me. No one has been waiting for this as much as I have, ok? And you know what the funny thing is? When this day is over, you get to go home with the baby, ok? Where does that leave me?
CHANDLER: Joey, Joey. Hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, 'I want you Dennis,' and stuck her tounge down my throat. I love this party.
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
(He hear a duck start quacking, and see it waddle into the living room from the bathroom. Joey wants to know whats with the duck.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey! I do too think about the consequences of my decisions! (Listens) What gives you the right to (Listens) Go to hell! (Hangs up the phone and opens the fridge.) Stupid guy on my phone.
(She gets to Monica who has the dress balled up in one hand and is sitting on Megan who is sprawled out on the floor.)
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Rachel: Oh my God, I'm starting to look like my great aunt, Muriel.
[When he hears Jennifer try to open the door he jumps back, and Jennifer is unable to open the door this time.]
Monica: That's the nicest anyone has ever said to me!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Rachel: Ugh. (To another customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guy over there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (To the gang.) Sorry. Okay, Las Vegas.
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
Ross: I don't want to be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!