words in movies
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
(And with that, we start a series of flashbacks to Thanksgiving's of years gone by.)
[Scene: A Union battlefield hospital, Phoebe, in a past life, is tending to a wounded Union soldier. (By the way, for historical perspective, 1862 was the second year of the American Civil War.)]
Phoebe: (walks him to the kitchen) Easy. Step. How did it get on?
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
(They hear Monica trying to unlock the door. So Phoebe quickly pushes his head down onto the table to make it look like the turkey is just sitting on a platter and not stuck on Joey's head.)
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Phoebe: No, it's not supposed to be funny, it's supposed to be scary.
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
(They get into position to pull the turkey off.)
Monica: Okay, count to three. 1. 2. 3!
(They both pull but Joey slips out and starts to fall backwards just as Chandler enters, scaring him.)
Chandler: Arghhhhhh!! (Joey turns around to taunt him, but Chandler is in the doorway and Joey is facing the kitchen.)
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Monica: Umm, I-I really don't want to tell this story.
Monica: Look umm, of all people, you do not want me to tell this story!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Big Nosed Rachel: Well, you know that my parents are out of town and Chip was going to come over
(He brought home Chandler for Thanksgiving. Chandler is sporting the very popular Flock of Seagulls haircut. Yeah, it's another you have to see it to believe it kinda thing.)
Fat Monica: Ross! (Wanting to be introduced.)
(Ross points out Rachel to Chandler and goes over to talk to her. Rachel is checking out her nose in her compact mirror.)
Big Nosed Rachel: Y'know what? I've just had it with high school boys! They are just silly. (Ross is overhearing this.) Silly, stupid boys! I'm going to start dating men!
Big Nosed Rachel: Guess what?! All that stuff about Nancy Branson being a slut was all a rumor so Chip dumped her and he wants to come over to my house tonight!
[Cut to the kitchen, Ross and Chandler are doing the dishes.]
Chandler: Right on! Oh! Uh, but, dont take to long okay? 'Cause uh, we're gonna test out our fake ID's tonight, right Clifford Alverez.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
(Upon hearing this, Monica starts to break down and storms out. Only to be stopped by her parents.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, back to the present day.]
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Mr. Geller: What? Dr. Wilson's an artist! He removed my mole cluster. Wanna see? (He starts to show her as the doorbell rings.)
(She opens the door to reveal Chandler and Ross. Unfortunately, they seem to have their holidays mixed up. They think it's Halloween and they're going as Crockett and Tubbs from that legendary TV show of the late 80's, Miami Vice. God, we looked silly back then!)
Ross: Hey. (To his parents) Happy Thanksgiving!
Mr. Geller: (To Chandler) God, your hair sure is different!
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Mrs. Geller: Yes, yes Monica is thin. It's wonderful. But what we really want to hear about is Ross's new girlfriend.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Rachel: Okay, that we may be able to do.
Rachel: Well guys tend to get naked before they're gonna have sex.
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yeah, of course. I'm fine it's just that(She drops the box and in a reflex action tries to catch it with her arm, the knife slips out and slowly flips through the air and comes point first down into Chandler's shoe.)
[Scene: The hospital, Chandler has been rushed to the emergency room.]
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is reacting to the story.]
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
[Cut to the hallway, Chandler is standing in front of his door.]
(There's a knock on the door and Chandler gets up to answer it. He opens the door to reveal Monica with a turkey over her head.)
Chandler: This is not going to work.
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Ross: Hi! (Rushes over to shake her hand instantly.)
(Camera pans back to Rachel)
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
Joey: (to Chandler and Monica) Hey, does anybody else feel bad about Ross?
CHANDLER: (to taxi driver) Just practicing. You're good. Carry on.
Ross: Well, I just made these two things uhm... cheeks. And then I split this to make ears.
JOEY: Well, I can't use these forever. I mean, let's face it, they're no friend to the environment.
[Ross gets up to go tell his parents.]
[Cut to later, Joey is returning from talking to Mr. Treeger.]
[Scene: A Street: Monica and Phoebe are walking to a newsstand.]
Ross: Okay, flight 421 to Paris. I don't see it, do you see it?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is repacking the furniture into boxes to return it.]
Phoebe: No, but lets come back to that later!
Joey: (to Lorraine) We can't do that.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.) Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
(Someone knocks the door, Joey goes to open it and Ross is on the other side)
Rachel: Oh okay, Ill fix that to. Whats her e-mail address?
CHANDLER: But hey, it's courtside.� The cheerleaders are going to be right in fr. . . (Pause)� That's not the way to convince you.
Chandler: Okay. (Pause) You wont believe what Monicas older brother just said to me!
Ross: You didn't want to share your tomatoes, tomatoes are very important to you.
Rachel: Honey, that's very sweet, it just seems to me though, that if two people love each other and trust each other, like we do, there's no reason to be jealous. (she kisses him)
RACH: Maybe it was just the kind of story where you have to be there.
Rachel: Fine. (on phone) Hi! Yes, Id like to order a large pizza.
Chandler: Im sorry, were just kinda excited because we finally have a couple to hang out with.
Gunther: (to Chandler) Someone in there?
Chandler: Okay, well, then, I-I have to go to the bathroom.
(Joey begins to contemplate his ill fortune.)
PHOEBE: Oh no, ooh, ooh, did somebody forget to use a coaster?
Chandler: Im gonna ask Monica to marry me.
Joey: I did that too! They wouldnt give me her real name or her number. They said, "If I bothered them again theyd call the police." I said, "If you talk to the police, you tell them Im missing a ring!"
Ross: Oh. (Rachel and he start to stand up.)
Monica: Alright, we have to talk.
Chandler: Well, it still has to go, right?
Chandler: (to Mon) She's right, you shouldn't have bought tickets just for us ...
Robert: (to Joey) Hey!
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Ross: Somebody seems to be missing being the hostess.
Ross: None of the sane ones wanted to come back with me! That�s not the point. Ok? The point is you...you are the oneWho moved on and didn�t tell anyone!
Monica: (suspiciously) Okay. (Exits to carry out Phoebes wishes.)
Phoebe: (holding a dinosaur) Okay, dinosaur attack!! Quick, everybody into the house!! Ahh-ahh! (the dinosaur starts attacking the house. She starts to bark like a dog.) Roof! Rrroof-roof-roof!
(They walk passed each other, Ross towards the door, Chandler towards the counter, suddenly they turn around to face each other)
Chandler: Okay. I just wanted them to hear it from somebody else.
Ross: Marcel! What've you done to him?
Joey: (whispering) No, I really have to pee.
Phoebe: Yeah, Ill do that. So who gets to be yours?
(Rachel stands there for a moment, starting to cry. Then gasps and runs over and hugs him. While hugging her, Ross tries to find the Does it? part in the letter.)
Rachel: You don't want to work for a guy like that.
Barry: (to Mindy) I swear, whatever I was doing, I was always thinking of you.
Rachel: Well that is because your eye immediately goes to the big naked man.
Rachel: Well, is Ross home? Maybe Ill just call him to see if hes actually seen her.
Chandler: David, let me stop you there 'cause I think I see where this is going. I'm not very good at giving advice. So if you want advice, go to Ross, Monica, or... Joey, if the thing you wanna advice about is pizza toppings or burning sensation when you pee.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Ross: I'm sorry, Chandler but this, this is really important to me.
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Phoebe: Yeah, so, he had a really funny hatI don't want to talk about it.
Chandler: Its possible. You are very loveable, Id miss you if I broke up with you. (Ross glares at him) I was just trying to be supportive.
Joey: I say, 'I am there!' Cool! Aw, is Ross going to?
Ross: Well, I asked him if he wanted to eat, he said, "No." I asked him if he wanted to sleep, he said, "No." I asked him what he wanted to do, he said, "No." So, hes sweeping. (We see Ben playing with a broom and a dustpan.)
Joey: You play hard to get.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Ross: Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground!
[Cut to kitchen.]
[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Phoebe: Oh my God, hes not even appreciated in his own time. I would give anything to not be appreciated in my own time!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Monica: (to Rachel) Hey, where is this guy, it's been over an hour!
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
Phoebe: Okay, so The Plaza! Okay, well get us some Mai Thais, (To Chandler) maybe no more for you though.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, youyeah, of course you get to be my best man.
Guy: Hi! Its Tom, Im here to pick up the phone.
KEVIN: So, we're on our way to a couple of parties.� Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
[The final one is from Episode 607: The One Where Phoebe Runs, Joey has been trying to repel Janice and sees its not working to his liking so hes confronting her about the sexual tension.]
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Sophie: I love Mark. (to Ross) Do you know Mark?
[Scene: Joey's bedroom. Joey's asleep with Hugsy, the penguin right next to him.]
Mr. Geller: Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.
Melissa: Oh no, thats-thats an old card. Umm, I wanted to get out of that and-and do something where I can really help people and-and make a difference.
[cut to Monica and Rachel walking through the set]
Hillary: And someday soon, I hope to open my own restaurant.
Ross: Uh-uhWow! Uh, I thought you guys were just like making jokes, I had no idea. What you know what? You guys are wrong. Uh yes, there is a chronological age difference but I never notice it. You know why? Because she is very mature. Besides, it doesnt really matter to me what you guys think. I mean, Im the one dating Elizabeth, not you!
Phoebe: I think it's just y'know that I haven't been with a guy in so long and how sometimes you're looking for something and you just dont even see that it's right there in front of you sipping coffeeOh no, have I said to much? Well it's just something to think about. I know I will.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Ross: Thanks to a little something called "Helvetica Bold 24 point"!
Joey: I know! I know! And Im going to talk to them about it. They mean so much to me. They Theyre like my family. If you guys are gonna be fighting all the time, I-I I dont think we can be together. It just, it just cant work. It cant. (Starts to break up) Im very upset.
Rachel: Oh you really, you really just dont want to hear about it.
(Joey looks down and his look turns from shock to satisfaction.)
Rachel: Wait no, honey, honey throw it to me, throw it to me.
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
(Ross goes to call her.)
ROSS: Dad, she won't want to go with me.
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
To Be Continued......
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Ross: Oh, I uh, hope you don't mind, I kinda uh, jazzed it up a little. Check this out. (He plays the greeting, and We Will Rock You starts to play and Ross's voice comes over it.) We will, we will, call you back!
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Chandler: Buh-bye. (Hangs up the phone) I just got us reservations at Michelles and tickets to the Musicman to celebrate our first holiday season as a betroughed couple.