words in movies
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Monica: <laughs> Oh yeah, like I'm going to let you talk to the queen.
Joey: Yeah! I totally forgot I'm supposed to be there. I can't believe I forgot. I usually write stuff like this on my arm.
Chandler: What are you going to do?
Joey: I guess I'm going to have to come up with a really good reason why I wasn't there. The producers are going to be so mad at me. They sat us all down yesterday and said "Everyone has to be there at 6:00 AM sharp, that means you Tribbiani." Like.. like I was some kind of idiot.
<Ross and Rachel are putting baby stuff together like they're going to be going somewhere.>
Rachel to Emma: Oh Emma. This is going to be your first Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Mommy's bobbies.
Amy: oh... hi.. <goes to Rachel with open arms>
Amy: Listen, um about the hair straightener, honey.. I really need one. I'm going to have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
Amy: Is this Emmett? <pointing to EMMA>
Amy: Not really. But you are much cuter then that geeky guy she used to date.
Ross with a look of wondering how long this is going to go on on his face: Still me.
Amy: No, I'm not talking about you. <to Rachel> It was your fat friends brother with that bad afro, do you remember?
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Joey: Hey happy Thanksgiving.. Pheebs! <motions her to come over>
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Phoebe: Oh really. Okay. let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffee house, I went to the bathroom and when I came back, my muffin was gone-who took it?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Amy with straight hair: Oh she's precious. Do you ever worry she's going to get your real nose?
Amy: Hello? Yeah, um. Hang on one sec. <to Ross and Rachel> Can I take this upstairs?
Amy: Seriously? Its.. its just these rooms? <moves hands around motioning 'just these rooms'> <To Ross> I thought you were a doctor.
Amy: Oh. I was so looking forward to this. It was going to be such a beautiful Thanksgiving. We were going to have sushi.
Rachel: Oh Amy, don't cry Amy. Um.. Ross, could I talk to you in private?
Ross: Sure, you want to go upstairs?
Rachel: Um look I was thinking.. If its ok with Monica I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
Rachel: Look I know she's a little tough to take. She has no where else to go, and she's my sister. Alright, she's Emma's aunt. And I would like them to bond.
Ross: Ok, fine, but I don't want them bonding to much. I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that!
<Rachel grabs Ross' hand for support and starts to cry a little>
Ross to Monica: Hi.
Monica to Ross: Hi.
Monica to Emma: Hey you.
Monica to Amy: So. Welcome. Is this your first time you're seeing Emma?
Amy with confused look on face: Yeah I.. I think so. <sticks her hand out to shake hands with Phoebe and says to her> It's nice to meet you Emma.
Ross first has a look of 'huh' then changes it to sarcastic happy: Thank you Amy.
Amy: no, no, then I would get the baby. I mean you know it would be just like a movie. Like at first I wouldn't know what to do with her, then I would rise to the occasion and and then I would get a makeover and then I'd get married.
Amy turns around to Phoebe: Emma, Ross wants you.
Amy turns to Ross and Rachel: Why does she keep making that noise?
Rachel: Honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but um, if something were to happen to Ross or to myself <Ross and Rachel knock on wood> um you wouldn't get the baby.
Chandler: I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Rachel: See look Amy, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler. We see them every day. And truthfully honey, you don't seem very connected to the baby.
Amy: Connected? I mean.. to what? She's.. she's a lump.
Chandler: You know, guys I got to say. This means so much to me. That you would trust me with your child. I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been trying to have a baby of our own. You know I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but that you two.. that you two.... <starts to cry>
Amy: <points to Chandler> This guy? Seriously?
Monica: Okay, just to be clear comedy with the plates will not be well recieved. <pinches Ross' arm>
Ross makes some sort of sound to let us know it hurt.
Amy: Its such a slap in the face. I'm your sister and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Amy: No, she was this really dorky girl in high school that used to follow Rachel around like a puppy dog.
Rachel: Hey. Amy. You've got to stop doing that.
Monica about to have a heart attack: Okay, listen I know you're having a little bit of a family crisis, but you don't have to take it out on the plates. I mean, I mean in fact I think that everyone should cut their food like this.
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Ross: well.. its just. its just in that case, then um. Emma would go to my parents.
Joey raises his hand: Uh.. who has to die for me to get her?
Chandler: So if Monica's not around, then I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
<Joey looks to Phoebe and she nods in agreement>
Chandler: Well what is wrong with me? Am I .. am I incomptent? Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
Rachel: Honey, you're taking this the wrong way. We think you're going to be a wonderful parent. It's just.. you're more the fun parent.
Ross: Yeah and we'd want to make sure Emma has someone like Monica who is more uh. uh discliplinarin.. someone who can be firm and strict.
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Chandler: Oh? Did somebody miss me? Is there a child to raise poorly?
Monica: I don't know it! I want to have a kid with you because I think you're going to be an amazing dad... at the fun parts and the hard parts.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Chandler: You said that to me last week.
Back to Monica and Chandler's apartment.
Joey groans and gets off the phone: The producer from Days left a message on my machine asking why I wasn't at the parade. They said everybody's pissed off at me.. <whiny voice> And they all got to meet Santa!
Phoebe: It's ok. I thought of the perfect lie for you. It's easy to remember and doesn't invite a lot of questions. You weren't at the parade because you had a family emergency.
Phoebe: Yeah we thought it would be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Chandler: Oh no thats okay, you're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child. But it did hurt my feelings and I want you to know that when I die, you don't get Joey.
Amy walks over to the couch and sits down next to Rachel: Ucch. <pauses> Uchh <louder this time> In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
Amy: This might be my one chance to have a baby Rachel. I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my carrer.
Rachel: Ok. You decorate dad's office and so now you're a decorator. Okay! I went to the zoo yesterday and now I'm a koala bear.
Rachel: Sup.. You want to talk supportive? You didn't even come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby.
Rachel: I did the first time! Oh. Oh.. <gets up and walks into the kitchen> And you know what. You want to know why I'm not giving Emily to you.
Rachel turns to Ross: Oh whose side are you on? <back to Amy> I'm not giving you Emma because there is no way you could handle the responibility of a child.
Amy: Do you want to know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Amy: Because you don't want me to be happy. You.. you have always been jealous of me.
Amy: Uh.. To name a few. You know.. You know.. You've just always been like this. You just have to have everything. And I couldn't have anything. Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me. I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Amy: Yeah, well you know what I cannot believe. That my so-called sister, gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren and I still have to pay retail.
Amy: You bitch. You just think you're so perfect. With your new baby and your, your small apartment. <directs this to Ross who in turns throws the towel in his hand down on the table> Well let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Amy: No! What are you going to do? Make me?
<Rachel and Amy 'fighting'.. They're really just trying to slap each other and just keep slapping their hands>
<They go back to fighting and then it really gets on>
<Amy runs towards Rachel and Rachel puts her arm out, hand on Amy's head and Amy starts trying to hit her but is missing, Rachel is moving backwards towards the table when her hand swipes the one plate left on the table on to the floor>
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Monica: I don't care. <pauses and realizes...> Oh my god. I've lost the will to scold.
Rachel: Look Amy, it got a little of control..Um.. and I'm sorry. You're my sister and uh.. if it really means that much to you..
Amy: So you're going to give me the baby?
Rachel: Uh. No.. I was going to let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
Amy starting to cry: You are not going to regret this.
Chandler: Oh no no no.. I'll get her. I'm super-compentent and totally responsibile and fourth in line to raise Emma. I'll be right there Emma. Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here. <knocks over the box of china> Well.. what do you know? I guess, I'll be the one who dies first.
Joey: Hey! I did it. I called my producer. I told him I had a family emergency, he totally bought it. Thanks for teaching me how to lie Pheebs.
Phoebe: No problem! Next week: stealing... (Chandler walks away to store the box of broken china.)
(Monica pushes play and The Way You Look Tonight starts to play.)
Joey: Nope-op! I insist! (He hugs Chandler again and whispers to him.) You get the wine right?
Joey: (entering) Hey Ross! Listen, do you want to go see that new Imax movie on tide pools?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Ross: Oh hey, Gary, want me to grab the berry for ya?
Chandler: (To Joey) In a minute? Whats gonna happen in a minute?!
[Cut to Central Perk, Phoebe and Rachel are sitting up by the window because two guys have their couch.]
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
[Cut to Earls office, who is played by Jason Alexander, George from Seinfeld. They cut back and forth between Phoebes and Earls offices with each of their lines.]
Phoebe: Well, you're not, (she tries to smile and contain her anger, but loses it) You're not... you're not... again, you're not SPEAKING FRENCH!
Phoebe: But I don't think I can! it was ok to move in when I didn't know what was gonna happen, but I can't move in knowing that nothing is ever gonna happen.
Phoebe: (to Bonnie) Well I hope you have fun tonight.
Joey: You dont have to worry about that okay?
(They start to go inside.)
Ross: Gotcha. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Shes right in there. (motions to the living room)
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
[Cut to Monica out on the balcony.]
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Rachel: Oh, well thank you for taking your tongue out of my sisters mouth long enough to tell me that.
CHAN: Didn't you used to call it the Little Major?
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
Chandler: (to Joey) My lighters in there! (points to the cab)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Rachel: And Chandler, youre gonna have to watch those long showers you take in the morning because you know Raquel cant be late.
Roger: Well, I don't know. I mean, it's conceivable that you wanted to sabotage your marriage so that the sibling would feel less of a failure in the eyes of the parents.
[Cut to Joeys, hes on the phone.]
Ross: (To Carol) No tongue. (And gives her the thumbs up.)
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
Joey: But I got to act with a robot Pheebs, and-and I dont know anything about technology! I cant even use Chandlers computer except to find porn! And-and thats only cause its right there when you turn it on!
Chandler: (to Ross) Ah, it's just a weekend, big deal!
PHOE: Oh, um, it was nice. Took him to a romantic restraunt, ordered champagne, nice.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel: (turning to look at Joey) Ewwww!!
Rachel: Everybody? Shh, shhh. Uhhh... Central Perk is proud to present the music of Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Elizabeth: Do you not want to be seen with me?
Joey: OK, you've got to promise that you'll never, ever tell Ross that I told you.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
[Cut back to the present.]
Rachel: Oh! I used to do that too!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is holding a football helmet; and apparently, in a rather disgusting scene, Joey wants Phoebe to beat him senseless. (Luckily it isnt a long trip.) Because hes made a miraculous recovery from his hernia and wants to take advantage of all those free surgeries he can get now since hes re-established his health insurance.]
Ross: Oh, whatever. (Laughs and gives Joey the thumbs up heading back to his apartment. Joey follows him)
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
MR. GREENE: I have to be heading to my chateau, thank you.
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
Joey: Okay, look, I think we have to tell Rachel she messed up her dessert.
Chandler: Yeah, I wanna go to babe.
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Richard: Yeah! Youre saying, you need to be with someone more mature. Maybe someone with, a license to practice medicine. Or a mustache.
(They leave on the tour and Rachel goes to follow them but Phoebe stops her and drags her into the kitchen.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Do you want our guy to be your guy?
Phoebe: (reading from the instructions) After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg number one,
(In the apartment below, Mr.Heckles is trying to relax and read his newspaper, but Rachel is helplessly dangling upside-down with her ankle wrapped up in the Christmas lights.)
David: Okay, what the hell, what the hell. (Sweeps the remaining papers off the desk and grabs Phoebe) You want me to actually throw you or you-you wanna just hop?
Ross: (His voice is altered to sound like a computer.) Electrifying. (He plays the sound of a ticking clock.) Emphatic time-time-time
Monica: It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight.
Guy: Would you like to go out and have a cup of coffee?
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Chandler: Because hes crazy. Okay? He came up to me earlier and thanked me for my very moving performance in Titanic.
Mrs. Green: Plus, what are you planning on doing with the baby while youre trotting out to the garbage ten times a day?
Monica: Oh, it was awful. (To Chandler) I guess some people just don't appreciate really good food.
Rachel: (pause) Hes talking to the baby.
Joey: Look, Ill come to the party but Im not dressing up.
Ross: Well, ok, it's for 25 thousand dollars. And if I get it, I'll finally be able to complete my field research! And there will be an article about me in the "Paleontology Review"! Yeah! That'll be the first time my name is in there, without people raising serious questions about my work!
Monica: Yeah Joey shes Rachels got this really big work problem, and it is a head scratcher. Wow! (To Chandler) Yknow what, if were gonna make dinner were gonna have to leave. Yeah. (She and Chandler exit.)
Ross: No! Okay, you mean, you're not gonna talk to her, you're not gonna tell her how you feel?
Rachel: Phoebe. We would like to talk to you for a second.
[cut back to the gang.]
Monica: (to the bartender) Thank you.
Monica: Okay, but if we don't get this house, she's stil gonna show up wherever we go! I mean, at least if she's here, it eliminates the element of suprise. I mean, never again will you have to hear the three words that make your balls jump back up inside your body. (She shows this with her index finger, mimicking it pushing something up)
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Gunther: But then I'd have to go all the way around the dry cleaner place.
Joey: Oh no, no-no-no-no! I don't want to know!
Ross: Thanks. (He starts to go inside and stops.) What photo album was it?
ROSS: [on the phone] Woah, woah, woah australopithicus isn't supposed to be in that display. No. No. No, n, homo-habilus was erect, australopithicus was never fully erect.
Rachel: Im Monicas maid of honor. Okay? Dont try to blue pin me!
Kara: Nice to meet you Monica. Bing! (Slaps Chandler on his butt.)
Monica: (starting to cry) Oh God!
Ross: Then what am I supposed to do?
Rachel: Excuse me, can I, can I bum one of those? (He holds up his pack.) Y'know what, actually (She takes the one he's smoking and heads over to where Nancy and Kim are standing and laughing.) Okay, okay, okay, what's so funny over here?
Chandler: No-no, why dont you hang on to that one.
Rachel: (to the closed door) Hang in there. You hang in there. (Gives him the raspberry.)
[Chandler exits to the balcony.]
Joey: Thats right, all the ladies want to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Then why did she ask us to
Joey: Come on Rach, not again. I got it! Okay? Lets start sailing, and I want to go over there (Points) where that boatload of girls is! (Yelling to them) Yo-ho-ho!
Rachel: (to Monica): Really? (out loud): Sure, we have scones left! (to Monica): OK, read them to me.
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Phoebe: Great, all right, okay, and Monica ask me to make the drumming stop.
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Ahh, to be 13 again.