words in movies
Chandler: Our eyes are closed and were about to cross the street. Very good.
Ross: What did you want to show us? Because all I can see is this bitchin' van!
Phoebe: And also, we dont know what to do with this. (She turns on a switch and the girls nipples light up.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Remember that guy from cooking school I told you about that put cilantro with everything?
Monica: Wow, Monica! What an amazing opportunity to influence dozens of people.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Chandler: (entering) Hey, you guys! Hey, Ross, quick question for ya. Are you ready to party?
Ross: I dont know, I could maybe go out for a couple of beers, but theres this thing about bumblebees on The Discovery Channel that I was planning to watch.
Chandler: No-no, I dont think you heard me. Are you ready to party?!
Ross: Nooo!! Gandolf?! Gandolf is coming to town?
Chandler: Kathys with her parents, I have nothing to do, so tomorrow we are partying with Gandolf dude!
Joey: Really. And what do you mean you never have fun anymore? You have fun with me, remember that time we saw those strippers and you paid me 50 bucks to eat that book?
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is getting ready to party.]
Chandler: Look you dont understand, Gandolf is amazing. Yknow youre never know whats gonna end up happening, you go out for a couple of beers and end up on a fishing boat to Nova Scotia!
Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) Its Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up)
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
Rachel: Yes, Joanna really has been an incredible mentor to me.
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Phoebe: Ohh! Oh, the Chelsea Reporter, ohh, this used to keep me so warm.
Phoebe: Oh, okay! (reading) "Would I go back to Allesandros? Sure, but Id have to order two meals, one for me and one for the guy pointing the gun to my head." (to Monica) Wow! You really laid into this place.
Monica: Hey, they dont pay me a penny a word to make friends.
Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you?
Phoebe: Yeah, all right. (starts to leave)
Allesandro: I want to talk to you about your review.
Phoebe: (on intercom) Hey, do you need to get in? Here you go.
Allesandro: How long is this gonna take? Cause I got another critic to go yell at.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Do you want me to quit?
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Chandler: Yeah, and I-I gave first names to all of the foosball players.
Joey: Well do it all, and better! Look, after tonight, Gandolf will want to party with us, dude! Come on!
Ross: Its not like we dont know how to party!!
Ross: (to Chandler) Hey-hey-hey, when uh, when were we on a boat?
Monica: Okay, the owner of Allesandros came over to yell at me, but instead I made him some sauce, and he offered me the job as head chef!!
Monica: Can you believe it? I finally get to run my own kitchen!
Rachel: Ohh, its gonna be so great! Im gonna get to help decide what we sell, Im gonna have an office with walls and everything. (turns to Monica) Im gonna have walls!
Monica: Ohh! Umm, Phoebe, I kinda need to talk to you about that. (Rachel excuses herself) Umm, well I-I-I think it might be time for me to take a step back from catering.
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Joey: We dont need that wizard guy. We hit a couple of clubs, talked to some strangers, and uh, after this, well head down to the docks and see about that boat thing.
Joey: Yeah, but uh, I dont want to be up too late, so uh, Ill have a decaf.
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Ross: Im just glad I brought that extra pair of socks, yknow? I used them as mittens, I didnt want to touch a thing in that last place.
Chandler: Yknow what? Were not sad, were not sad, were just not 21 anymore. Yknow? Im 29 years old, damnit! And I want to sit in a comfortable chair, and watch television and go to bed at a reasonable hour!
Joey: Yeah! And I like to hang out in a quiet place where I can talk to my friends.
Ross: And so what if I like to go home, throw on some Kenny G, and take a bath!
Monica: (entering) Ohh, here you are. Yknow, Im-Im glad you decided to hear me out.
Monica: All right, Ive got a whole bunch of uh-uh, stuff in this area, but umm, Im getting the feeling that you dont want to deliver.
Monica: Okay. Im guessing that if you dont want to deliver, you probably dont want to pick stuff up either.
Monica: Yeah, y'know I-I made a commitment to you. Yknow what, itd be, itd be fun.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats what you really want. Yeah, I dont want to be the reason youre unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really dont want to be the reason Im unhappy.
Phoebe: Besides, it might be kinda fun to form the new A-Team.
Mrs. Lynch: (starting to cry) No, Im sorry. I have to go. (She leaves as Sophie arrives.)
[Scene: Monicas new kitchen, Allesandro is introducing her to her new employees.]
Allesandro: Im so excited about having Monica come on board with us. Although I do feel bad about having fired chef Emillio, its like losing a member of the family. Of course, that literally is the case for several of you. Tony, Carlos, Marie, please, tell your father how much were gonna miss him. Now, I know that Monica has a lot of great ideas for this place, well, you all read the review. So without much further ado, I present to you our new head chef.
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Joey: Oh, have either one of you guys ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it real expensive?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is teaching Chandler how to smile. Chandler is smiling.]
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Chandler: To be fair this one does have nuts.
Joey: I'd love to! Yeah! Joey: (To Phoebe) We were supposed to bring presents?
Chandler: Yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning 7 times.
Monica: (Comes up for below the covers and looks concerned.) Do you think he knew I was here? (Chandler quickly looks at Monica not knowing what to say.)
Chandler: Nice going, imp. OK, it's OK. All I need to do is reach over and put it in my mouth. (Chandler slyly grabs the gum from the wall and slides it back in his mouth.)
Rachel: Well, I would like to have the option!!
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Monica: They cant all be bad. (To Chandler) Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes. Ohh, there it is.
Monica: Alright you two, I'm gonna go to the bathroom. Now I don't want anything going on while I'm gone. Here's a few things you can discuss: mucus, fungus and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
Phoebe: Okay, look at him. Look at those strong hands. Oh what I wouldnt give to be that can of (looks closer to see what Jack is drinking) condensed milk.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Chandler: (To Joey) So, you busy Thursday?
Phoebe: Good! Oh yay! Let's get down to business! Emma needs some makeup!
(Monica turns to see the closed door.)
Monica: (to the dog) What are you barking at?
Joey: Way to go robot!
Chandler: (on machine) Youve reached Monica and Chandlers, if youre listening to this message, were probably screening. (to himself) Yeah we are.
Phoebe: Okay, so I totally took care of the babies all by myself! I fed em, bathed em, and put em to bed.
Frank: Come on little Chandler, it's time to be born. Come on little Chandler! Come on!
Phoebe: Oh, Ross, Mon, is it okay if I bring someone to your parents anniversary party?
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
Monica: We're Aunt Monica and uncle Chandler, by the way. You may not recognize us, because we haven't spoken to your parents in seventeen years!
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Thank you Rachel but, look at Monica!
(they all jump up excitedly and try to see the ticket)
Ross: Hey, I'm not one to kiss and tell, but I'm also not one to have sex and shut up. We totally did it!
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Rachel: Oh, maybe that's Emily calling back to leave the exact same message.
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Mr. Geller: Son, I had to shave my ears for tonight. You can do this.
Monica: I'm not going to be a part of this! You can't just bring some random guy at home and expect him to be our sperm donor!
Charlie: Nice to meet you.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh my God!
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Ross: Hey, if thats what you want to do Im not gonna say no.
Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
Rachel: What? Oh my God! To who?
PHOEBE: It's not a blue screen... it's just, maybe it was just really clear that day. OK, I have to talk to my grandmother. [turns to leave]
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Rachel: Thank you doctor. (Dr. Long exits.) (To Joey) Oh thank you for being so nice and calm.
JOEY: Well, it was a fight. . . based on serious stuff, remember. About how I never lived alone or anything. I just think it would be good for me, ya know, help me to grow or. . . whatever.
Phoebe: No, I know, I know, that this is Franks life, (walks behind them, they turn around in the leather chairs to face her) y'know. Y'know, I dont want to be all judgmental, y'know, but this is sick, its sick and wrong!
Phoebe: Oh, it’s the worst way to propose!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachels new job, she is waiting for Joshua and practising how to ask him out.]
RACHEL: Ross, Ross, please listen to me. Ross, you are so much better for me than Paolo ever was. I mean you care about me, you're loving, you make me laugh.
Monica: Okay, guys, listen, don't forget that tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again, so whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Malcom: (reading) I met Phoebe today. She was really nice to me eventhough I'm such a loser. And, then when I was walking home I thought about her a lot, it was weird, but kinda cool.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Joey is entering to find Chandler waiting patiently for him.]
Richards Date: Well, I just wanted to see where you lived. Now, give me the tour.
Rachel: This is a very critical time right now. If you feel yourself reaching for that phone, then you go shoe shopping, you get your butt in a bubble bath. You want her back you have to start acting aloof.
Chandler: You know how to use a compass?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is standing in the kitchen ready to leave for the rehearsal dinner.]
Rachel: So that there will be a decent place for me to sit.
Monica: Because! You could get to live out my fantasy!
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
Joey: Fine, I'll rent a car and drive...! Ross, you have to get that job!
Chandler: I asked myself that very question, sir. Uh, (Points to Monica) this is Monica. (Points to his boss.) This is my boss, Doug. Doug this is Monica.
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Mike: Like an X-Ray. Bad day not to wear a bra.
CHANDLER:Well the package says you have to uh, constantly keep it moving. Stir and drink, stir and drink, never let it settle.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
[Cut to the city street. Monica and Chandler are jogging. Chandler is lagging behind so he hops in a cab and takes off, leaving Monica behind]
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: (visibly upset) She picked Rachel. I mean, she tried to back out of it, but it was obvious. She picked Rachel.
Monica: Hey, have you figured out a way to tell him youre moving out?
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Tag: Oh yeah! We went to the Knicks game.
RACHEL: Hi. [Ross turns to Rachel and they hug]
Mike: Going go to the bathroom.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(Three paleontologists walk by and Ross hugs Charlie trying not to be seen)
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Chandler: Come on, you're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie? That's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship.
Jamie: This could be Gods way of telling us to eat at home.
Monica: Easy Rach, we'll find it. (To all) Won't we!
Monica: Now another way to organise your stuffed animals, is by size.
Chandler: (to Mon) So, Zack's pretty nice, uh?
Rachel: And youre still not attracted to him at all?
Phoebe: Thank you! (to Rachel) Oh, and I have something for you!
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Ross: (to Charlie) Hey!
Amy: Ella wanted to go out, so we went shopping and got some sushi.
JOEY: Thanks.� (Joey and Chandler exit to the hall.� Joey pulls out the tickets and hands one to Chandler.)� Here's your ticket.
Mrs. Tribbiani: Do you remember how your father used to be? Always yelling, always yelling nothing made him happy, nothing made him happy, not that wood shop, not those stupid little ships in the bottle, nothing. Now he's happy! I mean, it's nice, he has a hobby.
[Cut back to the cast and Conan.]
Chandler: So if you want people to see them, then by definition you're not having them taken out... say, at the break of dawn?
Rachel: No honey, it's okay! Listen, I'll got to Ross's and get the blender, you get all the margarita stuff ready.
Monica: Hey, you wanna go to see a movie?
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Dr. Long: Ten centimeters, youre about to become a mom.
Chandler: (To Monica) Turns out he is kinda funny.
Chandler: Oh, so thats why the priest threw holy water on me. (theres no reaction from Joey) Okay, listen, you have to cheer up! Okay? You should come out with Ross and me, I mean anything is better than sitting around here crying all day about Kate.
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?