words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Rachel: (pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We We are not going to let it be a problem.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes slinking out to where Tag works and checks to make sure no one is coming.]
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) Youre making the bike very happy.
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, with a blanket draped over her shoulders, opens the door to a similarly clad Chandler.]
Chandler: I happen to know a Fun Bob.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Joey: (crying) I dont want to marry Chandler!
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: Then you go to Tokyo.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) It's like a giant hug.
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
Chandler: Well, I guess there's nothing left for us to do but-but kiss.
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Danny: Okay, listen, I really like you. Okay? I think this can go somewhere. So what if I'm close to my family, are you gonna let that stand in the way of us?
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Rachel: (to Dr. Franzblau) Ok, so anyway, you were telling me about Paris, it sounds fascinating.
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Kate: Yep! I sure know how to pick em, huh? Y'know I gave up a part on a soap for this!
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Bob: I want to talk to that bastard, see what his problem is.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe are there, Chandler is talking to his new friend on the internet.]
Chandler: No. How are ya Paul? (Starts to look for his credit card.)
Chandler: (reading the check) Pete Becker. Pete (quickly grabs a magazine and opens it up to show her a picture) (pointing to the picture) Is this him?
Kitchen Worker: Well, I dont know what to tell ya!
Joey: Okay, here's my big scene. My big scene's here! (They have two of the cops on the street, then they cut to where they're entering an apartment.) Oh my God.
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
Ross: Okay Ben, Santa has to go. Say good-bye!
Monica: So anyway, I'm cooking dinner for him Monday night. You know, kind of like an audition. And Phoebe, he really wants you to be here, which will be great for me because then you can 'ooh' and 'ahh' and make yummy noises.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
(They all start laughing, and quickly stop when they realize what she just said and run over to the bathroom.)
Ross: No, no, no, no! Dont tell me! I dont want to know!
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Joey: Look weve got to find her. Phoebe just called!! Rachels coming to tell Ross she loves him!!
RACHEL: Ok, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: I can't ask him! Do you have any idea how inappropriate that would be?! All I'm saying is just talk to Frank. Okay? Just, y'know, feel him out!
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Chandler: David is going to propose to Phoebe.
Chandler: (With the covers pulled up to his chin.) Morning, Ross.
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Phoebe: Isnt it funny how we kept running into each other? Its as if someone really wants us to be together.
Ross: (getting up) Okay! Fine! Fine! If-if this is what you think, forget about the whole three divorce thing! Okay, I-Ill go to my lawyers office right now and get this marriage annulled! Okay?! Because she means nothing to me! Noth(leans down to Megs ear)Nothing!!
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
(Sergei goes up to her at her door and says something.)
Amy: (To Rachel) Nana is on the phone (Hands the phone over to Rachel)
Ross: now when they found the remains of the Mesozoic Mastodon they discovered what appeared to be the remains of a Paleozoic Amphibian in its jaws! How did it get there?!
Phoebe: Okay, I guess. I mean I dont know, its just, I guess I know its going to be over soon.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Monica: We think if you saw it, you'd understand. I mean you guys were there. (Points to Rachel and Phoebe) It is beautiful, isn't it?
Ross: (to Joey) Where there is no fear of commitment.
Monica: Well, are you going to be able to do this?
Rachel: Why not? I dont want to do this alone! And hes such a sweet guy and he loves me so much.
Carol: Don't you want to know about the sex?
Gate Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the last call for Flight 1066 to Athens. The last call.
Rachel: Oh, okay! (She goes to answer the door.)
Dr. Green: So! (they both try to sit next to Rachel but Dr. Green is successful.) (to Ross) Hows the library?
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Monica (to Ross): Okay, well, stop staring at them.
Ross: You had no right to tell me you ever had feelings for me.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the scoreboard. Someone has a special question to ask.
Joey: What are you talking about? It was a big deal. I mean, come on you cant tell me last night didnt mean something to you. I-I was there, youre not that good an actress.
Monica: Now we just have to wait for a call and... and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh...
[Scene: house next to the one the Bings are moving into. Chandler and Monica knock, a lady opens the door.]
MONICA: Your boyfriend has been in there for over an hour. I can't believe it, it's like I'm living with him again. He's here when I go to sleep, he's here when I wake up, he's here when I want to use the shower, ughh. It's like I'm sixteen all over again .
Dedicated to the People of New York City
MRS. GELLER: Jack, give me that. Talk to your son.
[Cut to Chloe and Ross dancing, and their kiss.]
Chandler: Joey got meat sauce on the banister again! (He goes into the bathroom to wash his hands.)
MONICA: Chandler, you have to tell Joey that you're not in Tulsa.
Chandler and Phoebe: Yes! You mean the world the world to me. Oh...
Phoebe: Okay. (they start to leave, he is still following her) Okay, you don't have to walk behind me any more.
Rachel: Ross? (to Joey) Can we just close the door?
Monica: I wanted to do this days ago so I think I should go first.
Rachel: Yeah, Im pretty confident about that. Thats what makes it so easy for me to be 80% happy for Monica and Chandler! It would be nice to have a little guarantee though.
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Rachel: Hello. I need to get on the 11 o'clock flight.
Joey: Why not? Come on! Just, just close your eyes and tell me what you'd like to be doing right now.
Ross: Hey! I just spoke to your dad, and you know what? He seems to think well be able to find a new place for the wedding.
Ross: (to the rest of them) Yeah-yeah you guys. Get out of here!
Phoebe: No-no, thats not, thats not me Phoebe, thats her pal Phoebe. According to her high school yearbook, they were like B.F.F. (Ross and Bonnie look at her quizzically) Best Friends Forever.
Chandler: I am not working. There's not much to do around here!
Phoebe: Oh! I wont say, no to a movie!
[Ross goes to look in the magazine Rachel got her recipe from.]
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Phoebe: (is struggling with the cat) Stop it! Stop it! She keeps squirming, trying to get away! Just like when she was alive.
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Hypnosis Tape: You are falling fast asleep. Deeper. Deeper. Deeper. You are now completely asleep. You dont need to smoke. Cigarettes dont control you. You are a strong, confident woman, who does not need to smoke. A strong, confident woman.
Lydia: Joey Tribbiani. Yes, ok. Hold on. (to Joey) She wants to talk to you. Take the phone.
Dr. Zane: Okay, itll take just a little while to prepare the embryos.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Chandler: Well, she is going to know that you stole the joke.
Julio: (to him) I am Julio.
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
Phoebe: No, Im just deciding which one to useIm gonna start writing another book!