words in movies
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Ben how to ride a bike. Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are they also.]
Ben: (To Chandler) Thanks daddy.
Monica: Oh yeah, I remember mine! Ohh, it was my sixth birthday, my dad took me to the park, I got it, and it bent.
Phoebe: Not really, I got to drag him around too! (They all nod, "Oh.")
Monica: Im gonna hang this basket (Points to the one sitting on the table) on the door and when the neighbors walk by they can all take a piece.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: See? This is exactly why Im making this candy. We can learn their names and get to know our neighbors.
Rachel: (pauses as she thinks and exhales loudly) We We are not going to let it be a problem.
Monica: Wow! It took you all night to come up with that plan?!
Rachel: Well yknow, we did other stuff too. (Joey and Chandler start to giggle.)
Rachel: Okay, thank you. Thatll be all. (The mail guy leaves and Tag starts to follow, but Rachel stops him.) (Excitedly) Wait! Wait! (Rushes over and closes the office-door.) Did you see that? That mail guy had no idea there was something going on between us. (They kiss.)
Tag: Id better get back to my desk.
Rachel: Okay, you hard worker! Ill remember to put that in your evaluation.
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Rachel: No, Ive just always wanted to do that. Can you help me clean this up?
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Joey: Uh well yeah, that was the plan, but by the time I got to it there was only a couple of pieces left!
Monica: They love my candy? Oh man!!! Ive gotta go make more!! (Starts to do so.)
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Ross: Mine stole my newspaper! Its like a crime wave!! (Monica runs to make more candy.) Pheebs, you uh, you got a second.
Phoebe: (starts to leave, but stops) Oh and Chandlers about to cry.
Chandler: (about to cry) Am not!
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, the middle of the night, there is someone knocking on the door and Monica and Chandler get up to answer it.]
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Monica: Oh please! (To Chandler) Did you hear that? Little drops of heaven.
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
[Scene: Rachels Office, shes slinking out to where Tag works and checks to make sure no one is coming.]
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Joey: (about to cry) Those two only had each other!
[Cut to outside, theyre going to talk to Phoebe about walking the bike.]
Ross: Pheebs you uh you do know how to ride a bike dont you?
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
Monica: Im sorry, I cant help you. See? (Points to her new sign.) Rules are rules.
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Monica: Oh, you really want to talk about getting people to like you huh, funny man? (Joey laughs but stops when Chandler turns to glare at him.)
[Scene: Central Park, Ross is teaching Phoebe how to ride her bike.]
Ross: Phoebe, you cant get out of this! Okay? You have to learn how to ride a bike!
Phoebe: Why? Why do I have to learn?
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Ross: Yes!! Yes!!! (He starts clapping and Phoebe turns around to look at him and falls off the bike.)
Phoebe: I am shocked! Shocked!! (She storms off leaving Ross to defend himself from the angry looks from onlookers.)
Monica: Well, theyre just gonna have to wait arent they? Ive only got two hands!!
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
[Cut to Phoebes room, Phoebe has put her helmet on one of her teddy bears and is playing around with it. Ross knocks and pokes his head in the door.]
Phoebe: Well, I would love to but the bike got stolen and the police have no suspects. (Ross just happens to have his hand on a sheet that is covering something that suspiciously looks like a bike.)
Ross: All right, yknow what? If you are not going to learn how to ride this bike then Im sorry, Im just gonna have to take it back.
Ross: Because! Because, it-it-its Itd be like you having this guitar (Points to hers) and-and never playing it. Okay, this guitar wants to be played! And-and this bike wants to be ridden and-and if you dont ride it you-youre-youre killing its spirit! (Pause) The bike is dying.
Phoebe: All right. If you care enough to make up that load of crap, okay.
Ross: Great! Great! (He runs to the door.) Youre making the bike very happy.
Phoebe: (sarcastically) Okay Ross! (Ross exits and she says quietly to the bike) Please dont die!
[Scene: Rachels office, Tag and her are planning how to get the review back.]
Rachel: Okay, I think we can get the evaluation back before they see it, but were gonna have to get into Mr. Zelners office. Now, he doesnt get in until 10, so hes no problem, but his assistant, Betty, she comes in early to eat her breakfast at her desk.
Rachel: (worried and shocked) Yeah, sure Mr. Zelner, for you anythingminute. Okay. Fine. (To Tag) Abort the plan, abort the plan. (She start to usher Tag out.)
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mr. Zelner: Umm, no. Thanks, but Ill give these to Betty. (Rachel glances at Tag to say, "See?") So I read your evaluation of Tag, or to use his full name, Tag Sweetcheeks Jones. Is something going on with you two?
Mr. Zelner: Well, Id be forced to file a report. Id have to consult with the legal department, and your future at the company would be in jeopardy.
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
Rachel: I It justit took me so long to get that desk organized.
Tag: Oh, Im sorry. (He bends over to pick the stuff up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is returning from work to see the hallway jammed full of people waiting outside their door.]
Chandler: Get in here! (They head for the door and Chandler sees Smokes-A-Lot Lady standing next to the door and smoking, to her) Hey, and you can not smoke in here! (Takes the cigarette and takes a drag for himself.) (Exhaling in ecstasy) Merry Christmas.
Monica: (opening the door and frantically) Okay, guys! The candy is coming; I just need another 15 minutes for the chocolate to cool!
Chandler: All right everybody! Just be quiet! Be quiet! Be quiet!! Pipe-pipe-pipe down! (They settle down) What is the matter with you people?! This woman was trying to do a nice thing for you. She was making candy so she could try to get to know all of you, and Ill bet that not one of you can tell me her name! Am I right?
Joey: Thats right, its all ruined! You guys ruined everything! You ruined it! (Steps into the apartment and Chandler closes the door.) (Joey struts over to the candy and starts eating it.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Phoebe: I cant believe it! I did it! I rode a bike! I never thought Id be able to do that! Thank you Ross.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Monica: (to Ross) I cant believe youre getting married!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Monica starts crying: Thank you. It was so beautiful. <gets up and walks towards the front door> I'm going to go to Joeys and get the pies.
Rachel: see I cant decide whether it would go better next to the new wicker dining chair, the Sahara desk, or the Parker console table.
Rachel: (on the phone) No, no, no, Im looking at a purchase order right here and it clearly states that we ordered the Rivera bikini in a variety of sizes and colours. And.... (listens) What does it matter, what Im wearing?! Can I please speak to your supervisor? (listens) Thank you. (to Sophie) Were holding.
Rachel: Well, so then what are you doing to me? Okay? Just get out of here! All right? Move on!
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Chandler: Oh, because we love kids. Love ‘em to death.Well, not actually to death, that's just a figure of speech - we love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.
Rachel: Clearly you dont want people to see this tape. Now I dont want people to see this tape either, but you so badly dont people to see it makes me want to see it. You see?
Monica: Me? What are you talking about? Nobody could steal me from you. I mean, just because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. I mean, (starting to cry) you're my...We're, we're...Oh, I love you.
Ross: Paolo, I-I just want to tell you and I think I speak for everyone when I say... (shuts door in his face and walks away)
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
Chandler: All right. Look, Im gonna go in here, and you dont buy me anything ever. (starts to go into the store)
Mike: All right, stop! You know, all Phoebe has done tonight is trying to get you to like her. And maybe that hasn't been clear all the time, but she did her best. And yeah... She's a little different than you are...
PHOE: Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. It's 'cause I'm not sexy enough.
Joey: Oh, I am going to go for a walk in the rain.
Joey: So! Stryker Remoray huh? When do you want me to start?
Chandler: Oh, yeah. (Starts to take it off and then realizes) Uh, no you cant have my jacket! Because then I would be cold! If you thought that you were going to be cold, you shouldve brought your own jacket. But uh, other than that, are you okay? Are you okay?
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Joey: Well what am I supposed to do?
Rachel: Oh yeah. All right, back to work.
Monica: Oh my God, this is great! This is so great! (to Chandler, who looks bewildered). Did you hear that?
Chandler: Okay, ten blocks down. Five to go.
Ross: Look, you guys, you guys should go. (Joey tries to say something, but Ross cuts him off.) No, Im, you, you planned this all out, and I dont want to ruin it, so you guys should just go.
Joey: Please, just-just, just go and talk to Rachel.
Chandler: Okay. (Moves closer to the window.)
(They start the routine. However hard I try, I really cannot describe it. You will have to watch it. Im sorry.)
Robert: (to Phoebe) So are ready for the gym? Theyve got this new rock climbing wall, we can spot each other.
Monica: (to Joey) He is so cute. (to Angela and Bob) So, where did you guys grow up?
Ross: No! No! No! No! No! I-I-I-II need to, I need to lie down.
Mike: But, I mean, you have met... humans before, right? Look, why don't you go talk to my mom?
ROSS: Yeah. And you should hold out for something bigger. I can't tell you how much respect I have for you not going to that stupid cab driver audition.
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: Yeah, right, he almost danced me right down that garbage chute. (Starts to cry)
Phoebe: Well, if you're having a hard time, you should talk to my friends, Bill and Colleen. They adopted a kid. I'm sure they'd help you.
Sandy: I really do understand how hard it's gotta be to leave your child with another person. I mean, it's leaving behind a piece of your heart... (Ross has got that bored/angry/skeptic look and Rachel is very emotional)
Joey: (in a very aaaaahhhhh sweeeeeet voice) Aaahhh, look at you two... holding hands... huh is this getting serious? (Phoebe and Mike, embarrassed, start babbling and look away.) Have you not talked about it yet? (They say nothing now, but smile) Am I making you uncomfortable? (smiles are becoming forced now, and he speaks to Mike) If you were bigger you'd hit me, huh...? Aaaaaahhhhhh (he turns away to the bar)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Mona: Hey! (To Joey) Hey!
Phoebe: Yeah, its about relationships. Yknow? The traps, the pitfalls, what not to do, keep going. This stuff is great!
Rachel: Ohh, out, oh God, I don't know why we didn't think to check there!
(They exchange looks, smile, and shrug their shoulders before Ross suddenly lunges forward in an attempt to kiss her, but she expertly backs away.)
(Suddenly, the tape cuts away from Joey's impromptu scene, to Chandler standing really, really close to the camera.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
(Ross goes towards Charlie, who's conversing with a fellow paleontologist, and touches her shoulder to get her attention)
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Ross: And itll be cool to see it again! Yeah!
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Chandler: Oh uh, as it turns out, we cant do it. Monica has to work.
PHOEBE: Hey.� I'll be right back.� I've got to go to the bathroom.� (She rises and exits.)
Monica: That is completely untrue. You think Im high maintenance? Okay, prove it. I want you to make a list and were going to go through it point by point!
PHOEBE: (to Rachel) He says he can't do that.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh, she went to the salon alright...
[Cut to the living room, Joey is eating a sandwich.)
Monica: Well fine! I want to meet this chicken expert! Send the Colonel in!
Joey: Yeah, I gotta, I gotta go to my room too.
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Ross: Y'know, we work in a museum of natural history, and yet there is something unnatural about the way we eat lunch. Now, I look around this cafeteria, and yknow what I see, I see-I see division. Division, between people in white coats and people in blue blazers, and I ask myself, "My God why?!" Now, I say we shed these-these coats that separate us, and we get to know the people underneath. (He takes off his coat and throws it down.) Im Ross! Im divorced, and I have a kid!
(She takes off the coat she was wearing over her wedding dress, which is violet and has a darker shade petticoat underneath which shows at one side where the dress is lifted up to about the height of her hip and connected to the petticoat. She's wearing a veil over her curly hair and a low cut top with straps only just hanging over her shoulders.)
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
[Cut to Joey and Janines, theyre entering.]
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Ross is trying to talk to Carol about what Phoebe told him.]
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Rachel: What?! Joey, you dont want to go on a date with a pregnant lady.
Monica: Its not a date, okay. Im just gonna teach him how to make lasagne for some pot luck dinner he has.
Joey: Oh yeah, it must be tough to keep your hands of him, huh?
Phoebe: Okay, so what do you think ladies? Who wouldnt be interested? Who wouldnt want to date him?
Chandler: Veronica. Look, its got to be Veronica, the girl in the red skirt. I definitely stuck my tongue down her throat.
Joey: I would like to meet him. He sounds like a stand up guy.
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
David: Uh, I-I-I was hoping to run into you here. I didnt know whether I should call or not, yknow I-I was only in town for a few days. And yknow, I didnt want to intrude on your life or-or anything like that, but I-I really wanted to see you andbut I didnt know if you wanted to see me.
Ross: Hello. (He throws his jacket towards the coat rack and misses.) Im sorry Im a little late. Ah(Checks his watch)Whoa! A lot late. Let me start by uh, by introducing myself, I am Professor Geller. (The bell rings.) So to sum up, Im Professor Geller. Good job today.
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Chandler: Half a tank? We still got a lot of high-speed chasing to do!
Phoebe: (To him) Oh, well hello there.
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
Ross: I dont know what to say, Im sorry. Though, youre not supposed to take these. (Points to the bone) Its like a million years old, we, we actually, we had people looking for that.
Ross: What? (She takes the sign off and hands it to him.) Thats great. That is great. (Crumples up the paper and throws it down in anger.) What did we just finish talking about Ben?!
Monica: Oh umm, I meant to tell you, Ross is coming.
Rachel: No, I dont want to tell you.
[Ross runs to Rachel's bedroom, knocking on the door.]
Rachel: Well youre not gonna be able to keep doing this.
Rachel: Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Rachel: (opening the door) Y'know what, I want you to leave! Get outta here!
Frank: Okay, so what you used to have with Rachel, is what Ive got with Alice.
Elizabeth: Okay. I didnt know he was here. (Runs over to Rachel.)
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Ross: (To Chandler) Oh man, this is hilarious.
JOEY: Phoebe, this was the greatest thing that ever happened to me.
Chandler: I will explain it to her.
Joey: (Shouting after him) Chandler, I didn't kiss her, he did! (To Ross) See what happens when you break the code?
Chandler: Okay, one thing at a time. (They run out to get married.)
Man: Hey! The law says you have to accept any fare.
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Ross: Yeah, why is it staring at me? I think it knows Im talking about it. (Rachel starts to peek at the file) Dont-dont youWhWhaHey!!
Phoebe: (To Ross) So whats going on with you?
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
Mike: Oh, I made a little something. If I had more time to work on it, it'd be better, but..
Ross: No, no, we want to wait, right?