words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Chandler: (jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
(He and Chandler crack up.)
(He and Ross crack up again. Joey just sits there)
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Mike: Yeah... Well, when... you and I broke up I started seeing someone.
Rachel: Ugh! Get out! Get out! Go! Come on! (Ross gets up and heads for the kitchen.) No! Not in there! Hes in there! (She points Ross to the door next to the kitchen.)
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Chandler: I can not believe that I am going out with someone that is getting divorced. I'm such a grown up.
Joey: Pheebs! Wait up! (She stops.) Listen uh, close your eyes. (She does so and Joey passionately kisses her.) Maybe thats one thing you can cross off your list.
Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!
Joey: Say hello to Reverend Joey Tribbiani! (Holds up the piece of paper bearing the proof of his ordination.)
All: (groaning) Oh no! Oh no! (They all start to get up a leave.)
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Joey: Y'know what, hold on, let me go get Chandler. (gets up and leaves.)
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
Joey: Hey, whats up? (He has solved the problem of eating the steak, hes eating it with his hands.)
Monica: Oh, yes, umm, Im here to pick up a dress that you have on hold.
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Ross: Im sorry man. (Formally dressed people start to enter.) Heres a thought. This is the same ballroom. Theres a band. Theres gonna be plenty of dressed up people.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
[Scene: A Medical Research Office, Joey is there to sign up for an experiment, any experiment.]
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Phoebe: No, I mean you break up with Janice and I'll break up with Tony.
Phoebe Sr.: No, Im not done. I-I-I just want you to know that I, the reason I didnt look you up was, well I was afraid that youd react, just well like, the way, the way youre reacting right now, and cant we just, y'know, start from here?
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: OH MY GOD!!! (She holds her hands up in triumph and the gang all look at her.) Sorry, I was just imagining what itd be like to catch the money bouquet.
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Joey: Wow! Uh okay, well uh (He gets up, opens a drawer, and pulls out the ring.)
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Richard: Hes gonna go up to the counter with Citizen Kane, Vertigo, and Clockwork Orgy. (they both laugh) This is nice.
Chandler: I am only one man! (Monica heads out) Okay Ross, time is up!
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Joey: Yeah! Yeah yknow, like warm up the crowd. Ask em where theyre from. Cause in Joey Tribbiani you get a minister and you get an entertainer. Im a minis-tainer! (Rapping) There is no one better! There is no one greater!
Monica: Back then, I thought that I would never, ever get the chance to go out with a Chip Matthews, and now hes-hes called me up and asked me out. And the fat girl inside of me really wants to go. I-I owe her this. I never let her eat.
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Phoebe: Well, I'm watching it for some friends who went out of town. Wait. (She bends down, picks up the dog, and waves with one of its paws) Hello, my name is Clunkers. May I please stay with you nice people?
Ross: (popping up behind Joey wearing an Indian headdress) Come on, it's fun!
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Rachel: Oh, Kim, Hi. (Kim doesnt even look up from her report.)
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Joey: (to the dog) Cmere. Hey. Cmere. Thats Rachel. Shes the one who used to live here. Might as well be honest with youwe love her. But we cant have her. I really miss her. Well, hey, you understand, right? Youre a guy. (thinks about it and picks up the dog and looks) Well, you used to be.
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
[They both get up and head for the door. Clunkers whines a little]
(He tries to get up again and starts falling backwards and Chandler catches him.)
Joey: Okay. (he gets up and takes the cushions with him, as he starts to leave)
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Rachel enters and sneaks up to Chandler's bedroom where she overhears Chandler and Monica talking.]
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Ross: Ok. Well, before I say anything, I just need to know, is this one of those things where you break up with a guy, and then I tell you what I think, and then the next day you get back together with the guy, and I look like a complete idiot?
Rachel: I can get a quick bite to eat, but then I have to come back up here.
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Ross: (on phone) I know I miss you too. I can't wait to see you. I love you. Bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler is running up the stairs and towards his apartment, but Joey is taking out the garbage at the same time and stops him in the hall.]
Rachel: Oh God I just can not imagine what is gonna happen if Chandler doesnt show up!
Monica: Excuse me, Mrs. Burkart? Well, we're all cleaned up in the kitchen.
Phoebe: I have quarters! (She holds up a bag of quarters.)
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Ross: (on machine) "Hi Rach, are you there? It's me, pick up. Rachel. Rach!"
(Suddenly, everyone stands up and comes out of hiding. All of them are glaring at Monica.)
Chandler: I am sorry, but some of us have to get up early and go to work! (Monica looks at him) (To Monica) He does not know that I am not some of us.
(The guys pick up Elizabeth and carry her onto the plane as she waves bye.)
Charlie: Yeah, let's go. (stands up and kisses Joey) (to Ross) Thanks Ross.
Joey: Oh, its a new TV show. Yeah. Im up for the part of Mac Macaveli or "Mac." Yeah, Im a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. Hes a, hes a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or-or "C.H.E.E.S.E."
(They hang up their coats and scarves, then approach their friends on the main sofa.)
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
JADE: Hey, Bob, it's Jade. Listen, I just wanted to tell you that I was really hurt when you didn't show up the other day, and just so you know, I ended up meeting a guy.
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Monica: Yknow what? Im gonna make this up to you. I promised you a stripper (turns on the radio), and youre gonna get a stripper. (She starts to strip.)
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
(They both look up, and watch it start to snow. Then they both start fighting for the ball again.)
Joey: Uh, Pheebs we kinda need you to drive us all up there in your grandmothers cab, but y'know what, Ill stay.
[cut to Ross who walks up to Rachel who is eating a baked pretzel.]
Monica: (getting up) All right, Ill go down there. But, Im not gonna serve the lasagna. Im gonna serve something I make.
Joey: (to Ross, mouthing) Don't make me come up there!
Chandler: Hey-hey, hey! (Gets up and hugs him.) I dont know why I did that!
Gary: Okay. (He starts to leave.) So I'll come by in a couple hours and pick you up?
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful!
(Chandler glances up at Monica with his mouth still wide open and his eyes still huge)
Monica: Probably some y'know, European good-bye thing he picked up in London.
Phoebe: Oh? Isn�t that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Joey: I got it! (Picks up the map and starts walking.) Here we go.
(She runs up to the gate and the gate attendant standing there.)
Monica: (going up to the ring) Pete! Pete!! That guys pretty huge!
Ross: Oh my God. Ohh, my little sister and my best friend shaking up. Oh, thats great. Thats great. (Kisses and hugs her.)
Rachel: Yeah? Okay! Good, good, because he's coming. He's coming. (To Chandler) Hey, what's up? (She leaves and closes the door behind her.)
Chandler: Yknow I was thinking if we had a a big fight and uh we broke up for a few hours
Monica: All right shut up for a second and let me just see something. (She kisses him back on the lips) Oh, wow! (They then hug and kiss, very passionately.)
Rachel: Its so secluded up here.
[cut to Monica opening the door of the beach house, with Chandler trying to pick her up for a date.]
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
[ Scene: Rachel and Joey's apartment. Chandler, Monica and Emma are sitting on the floor, and Emma's stuffed animals are lined up in front of them.]
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.