words in movies
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Chandler: (jumping up from his chair) Hey, Joey, Playboy printed my joke.
Chandler: Dude, you have got to turn on Behind the Music. The band Heart is having a really tough time, and I think they may break up.
Joey: I know! Yeah, but, look I can handle it. All right? Look, I can listen to the radio, huh? And Ross gave me this great book (holds up the Playboy magazine).
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Aw, remember the days when you used to go out to the barn, lift up your shirt, and bend over?
Joey: Oh, you guys, with this joke. I gotta say, I know I cracked up, but Im not even sure I got it.
(He and Chandler crack up.)
(He and Ross crack up again. Joey just sits there)
Gunther: Yeah, that-that Chandler cracks me up.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
Joey: (to a table of strangers) You guys need anything, cause Im heading up there.
Chandler: I think its great that you work here. Youre going to make a lot of money, and heres your first tip: Dont eat yellow snow. (He laughs, then picks up a pen, glares at Ross, and writes in his journal). Ah ha ha, 2:15, coffeehouse.
Joey: Exactly! All right, everybody, listen up. The coffeehouse is going to be closed for about an hour.
Ross: Well each tell you how we came up with the joke and then you decide which one of us is telling the truthme.
Chandler: So Steve said he had to go to the doctor. And Steves doctors name is Doctor Muppy. So I said, Doctor Monkey? And that is how the whole Doctor Monkey thing came up. (He slams his feet up on the table to emphasize his point.)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry. (Gets up and moves.)
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Joey: Yeah. Well, so far yeah. But it's tough you know? I got all this built up flirting energy and I don't know how to get rid of it. (Gives Chandler the "Joey-love," look.) How you doin?
[Scene: Mike's apartment. His phone rings and he picks up]
Benjamin: Break up with Charlie!
Joey: What's up?
Ross: (on the phone) Yes, hello. I have a question. Umm, I used your pen to draw on my friend's face. (Listens) A beard and a moustache. (Listens and laughs) Thank you. (Rachel turns around and glares at him.) No, she didn't think so. (Listens) I know it's like (turns and sees Rachel staring at him and quickly changes the subject) anyway, umm well make-up didn't cover it and we've tried everything to get it off and nothing's worked. What-what do we do? (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Yeah. (Listens) Oh! Okay. (Listens) Okay, thank you! (Rachel gets excited at his tone.) (Hangs up the phone) Yeah, it's not coming off.
[Rachel hits some tom-toms and ends up on the 'crash'-cymbal, which is in fact a ride-cymbal, but whatever...]
Rachel: Well, it was, and you would have seen it if you didn't showed up at (looks at his watch) ... 9:30?? God! Oh, this party was lame ...
Phoebe: We, you know, we’re different! We don’t care about having a huge party. (She picks up the veil) This is really nice for you, but, oh, please, I put this on? (she puts it on) And, ow, I look (she looks her reflex image on a toaster), why, well, radiant. (pause) All right, well, who cares, I don’t need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
(Hearing her brother's voice, Monica gets up to stand behind Chandler, followed by Rachel.)
(Joey walks up to Cecilia Monroe who plays Jessica.)
Benjamin: Yeah, I just made it up. Spell it.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
Rachel: You know what, we just say that she said it was 5 o'clock. We'll just act casual. We're not late, we're right on time. (When she finishes talking, a note is pushed from under Monica's and Chandler's door, into the hall. Ross picks it up and reads it out loud)
Joey: Wow! Huh? (Picks up the phone) Mac Macaveli, Private Investigator!
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
Rachel: (entering from her bedroom) You guys, (holds up an outfit) does this look like something the girlfriend of a paleontologist would wear?
[Scene: The hallway, Ross is coming up the stairs as Phoebe leaves Joey and Chandlers.]
[Scene: The hallway between the apartments, Monica is lugging one of those floor polishing machines through the hallway. Rachel comes up the steps and stops when she sees Monica.]
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
(She gets up and storms out. The people at the other tables are staring at Chandler.)
Mr. Treeger: (measures the top of the doorframe) Whoa! This looks like an all day job, Ill have to cancel my yoga class. (Ross walks up.) Hey Ross!
(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)
Joey: No they cant! They were stupid enough to get knocked up!
(Ross chokes up and pauses. Rachel and Joey look at him.)
Phoebe: Yes!! Yes!! Im the next caller! You were gonna have me hang up.
Chandler: You like the Purple Rain display! (A guy walks up.) Hey Bob.
Monica: What the hell is this? (holding up the check)
(Joey gets up and look annoyed)
Monica: ooohh... hey! Wanna stick around and I'll whip you up some dinner?
Chandler: You know, it haunts me? Up til now, the worst thing I ever saw, was my father doing tequila shots off the naked houseboy. After this, I would gladly make that my screensaver!
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
Joey: (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!
Joey: Uh yeah, where-wheres the guy who decides whos pictures go up on the wall?
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Monica: Let me try. (Gets up to join them.)
Rachel: ...the way you owned up to everything, it just showed me how much youve grown. Y'know? I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater. Ooh, I just wish we hadnt lost those four months, but if time was what you needed just to gain a little perspective...
Joey: Alright, hurry up, you gotta do something.
Monica: Hello? (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Uh-huh. (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up.) I guess we can bet one more time.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Rachel: To Monica and Chandler... and that knocked up girl in Ohio.
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
Ross: Coffee sounds great. (They get up) Wait, so, so you live in Montreal?
[Phoebe gets up and goes into Rachels old room, a smile on her face.]
PHOEBE: I don't know. I mean, she obviously has some kind of unfinished business. [Mrs. Adelman's voice] Sit up!
Rachel: No. Joey, she knows! We were at Ugly Naked Guy's apartment and we saw them doing it through the window. (Joey gasps) Actually, we saw them doing it up against the window.
Joey: Listen that�s a pretty girly hour we just spent, we should add some manly make up for it.
Chandler: You know when guys hang out they dont just drink some beer and hammer up drywall?
Ross: Look, I gotta go pick up Ben. Everything so far sounds great Joey, just remember to keep it on the mellow side, okay? Just a couple of guys hanging out playing poker, no-no strippers or anything okay?
Ross: No, you guys, I mean my keyboards are all the way up inNo, yeah, okay. (Runs out.)
Phoebe: If you had to, what would you give up, food or sex?
Phoebe: (running up carrying a tree) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no, you dont want that one. No, you can have this cool brown one. (points to the almost dead tree she has)
Chandler: (picking up the phone) Hello.
Ross: Oh well thats great, so I guess this is ah, this is good bye then. Huh? (picks a pad up off Rachels desk and tosses it into his box) Good bye.
Rachel: Well of those things that you said in the interview, I mean if you believe any of them, I must not be a very good assistant. Yknow what? I am just gonna pack up my desk, (She goes over to get all of her belongings from the desk, which amount to a muffin and a pen) and I will be gone by the end of the day! (Realizes she has nothing.) Well, I guess theres no use to me sticking around til the end of the day! (Starts to leave.)
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
FRANK: Hey lady. Hey wait up. How do you know my dad?
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Phoebe: Oooh! I have something you can do! I have this new massage client... Steve? (pause) Anyway, he's opening up a restaurant and he's looking for a head chef.
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Monica: (starting to get up) I gotta go water Pete's plants. (stops) Y'know what, if he's gonna break up with me, maybe I won't water his plants.
Chandler: We're growing up.
Rachel: (To Joey) Yeah I knowIm goodI got it! (Joey slowly backs away.) (To the boy) Now wait a minute, Ive got one more thing I have to say to you oh right! Shut up!
Rachel: Shes steaming her dress, why? Whats up?
[Time lapse, Phoebe is still asleep only Joey is now passed out next to her and the cars still moving. She wakes up, sees Joey, and screams.]
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Phoebe: (entering and talking on mobile phone) Ok, great! All right, bye! (she hangs up) Pain in the ass!! (she looks at the others, then back at the phone) That's off, right?
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
Donny: Ok Henrietta, you've picked Jack and Jill went up the hill.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe comes up the stairs and hears drumming coming from Joey and Rachel's, so she enters smiling and then sees that Rachel, not Joey, is the one playing.]
Monica: (running from the bathroom to her room, wearing only a towel) Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! (gets to her room and closes the door, as Rachel gets up to answer the door.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol and Susan are picking up Ben, while Monica is pouring chocolate syrup, lots of it, into her ice cream.]
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Chandler: Because uh we-we we split up. Monica and I split up. Hold me.
Phoebe: No! No! I just went to pick up Phoebe Buffays checks; there were a lot of them.
Ross: Hi, I was wondering if it is possible to increase security in the Paleontology section? See I-I wrote a book up there and instead of reading it people are-are-are well, rolling around in front of it.
Phoebe: What's up?
Rachel: Oh Ross, you're so great. (she playfully rubs his head and gets up)
Rachel: Howhow did end up in Vermont with that awful witch?! (She hits Chandler again.)
(Joey climbs up on the counter and starts looking at the top of the cabinets.)
Chandler: Oh come on! Hello! Hi! My name is Chandler, here's my friend Ross right here, and we were wondering you know if you're up for it. We only need six more people for a human pyramid...Swoop!! Swoop!!
Monica: She has a better chance of sprouting wings and flying up your nose than you do of not making fun of us.
Julie: (To Rachel) Oh, you're losin' your apron here, let me get it. There you go. (Ties it back up for her)
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
(Chandler hangs up and calls Monica who is reading a book on their sofa as the phone rings.)
Monica: Y'know, all these years, I thought you were on my side. But maybe what you were doing was sucking up to Mom and Dad so they'd keep liking you better!
Joey: (interrupting her) Hey! Don't worry about it! It was fine! I ended up having the best time with Rachel! I just felt bad for you, stuck in that room, working on Ross's speech... (pulls a face)
Phoebe: Oh, why? What's up?
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
[Both Chandler and Joey put their feet up against the glass, Monica doesnt and gets thrown up against the glass.]
Chandler: Damn! (stands up) The tailpipes not hot enough to light this!
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Ross: I'm up for tenure.
Tag: Then we went to this bar and he hooked us up with all these women!
[Ross and Chandler get up and go into Rachels old room.]