words in movies
Jill: Oh please, I memorized those numbers when I was 15. But look at all the cool make-it-on-my-own stuff I got! (Holds up a red sweater) This is my "Please, hire me" sweater. (Holds up a pair of black pants) And these are my, "Dont you want to rent me this apartment?" pants.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right, I got (Ross hands her a bag) (To Ross) thank you, I got uh, this yknow "I want a job sweater." (Holds up the same sweater.)
Ross: Huh? Oh, I got this(Holds up this pink frilly thing)this!
Ross: Yeah. Everything but, the little blue one. (Holds it up for her.)
Jill: (hits him) Shut up! I did not sound like that at all!
Phoebe: (gets up and sits between them) Okay-okay, why dont I sit here and youll both stop it!
Chandler: I know, lets rest and drink lots of fluids. (Holds up a glass of orange juice.)
Rachel: Whats up?!
Jill: (entering) Sorry Im late, whats up?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler has fallen asleep reading a book. Monica calls from the bedroom and wakes him up.]
Chandler: Oh what is it honey, you need some tea? Some soup? (He gets up from the couch and goes into the bedroom to find Monica, still in the robe, lying seductively on the bed. Or at least shes trying too and as he enters the room, she takes the robe off on of her legs.) Oh-ohhhh!
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Monica: Hmhmm. (ties up)
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Chandler: Eh, yeah, well ah, waitress at a coffee shop and cheer squad co-captain only took up so much room.
Chandler: Yeah, he came up...
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
Mr. Treeger: Because by the time I find it on this thing (Holds up a huge key ring with a thousand keys on it), the whole place might have exploded. If that happens at another building that I manage, people are gonna start asking questions. (To the fireman) Come on! Hurry up.
Ross: Im, Im sorry you didnt get to go to Spacecamp, and Im hoping that maybe somehow, this may make up for it. Presenting Sarah Tuttles Private Very Special Spacecamp!! (opens the door and Chandler and Joey jump up, their apartment is decorated like outer space, one of the leather chairs is covered in tinfoil.)
Joey: Not knowing when to shut up...
Chandler: Emma, how old are you? How old are you today? (holds up his index finger again)
Chandler: (entering) Check it out! Check it out! When the babies wake up, they can meet Krog! (He holds up this Xena-like warrior action figure.)
Sandy: Who's up for puppets?
Joey: Me! I'm up for puppets!
Chandler: It was working until you showed up, you big tree! I mean, this isnt fair. You had your chance with her! You had your chance and you blew it! And this is my chance and I am not going to blow it because we are meant for each other! And this is all just been one stupid mistake! (Sits down heavily.) I was gonna propose tonight.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Ross, Monica, and now Chandler are still playing catch. The guys are exhausted and sitting around the room. Monica is still standing all pumped up and being hyper-competitive yet again. {Okay! We get it! She's competitive!! Must we see all the time?!}]
CHANDLER: What's up Joe?
Chandler: Its not a real game! I made it up!
Monica:: I'm gonna go freshen up ok
Joey: Hey Ross. This probably isn't the best time to bring it up, but you have to throw a party for Monica.
Joey: Is to have a long, long talk. Yknow? Get Joey out on the open road and really open him up.
ROSS: I don't know.� We could look it up.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Ross: Youre fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
Chandler: Oh come on! He said he was going to do my inseam, and he ran his hand up my leg, and then, there was definite...
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, 3:02 A.M., Chandler is up. There's a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.]
ROSS: (holds up the message) Uh, Rach.
[Rachel, seeing what he did for her, gets up, walks across the room, and kisses Ross]
Rachel: Yeah, yeah sure! Yeah! (mouths "Good luck" to Joey and gets up from her seat)
Monica: Yeah. The great thing about the jam plan was, I was taking control of my life. So I asked myself, what is the most important thing to me in the world and that's when I came up with the baby plan.
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Ross: I grew up with Monica! If you didnt eat fast you didnt eat!!
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is getting his make-up touched up as Richard approaches.]
Rachel: Ohh, honey no problem. Okay. (Gets up.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Chandler: (hanging up the phone) The wife says "Hi!".
Joey: Whew! Stood up to fast, got a little head rush.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Ross: No, no, really. You should go. Just go! Go! Go out! Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up the heels. Paint the town red. (Slang right?)
Paul: (jumping up) Elizabeth! Oh look, Elizabeths here! Who are you talking to?
Ross: Shut up! I Dream of Genie!
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
Monica: Ross used to stay up every Saturday night to watch Golden Girls!
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Krista: Oh, this is so good (A piece of cake.) you have got to try it. (She takes some on her finger and feeds it to Danny. Then takes a little more and does it again. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang stares on in shock. Then they pick up a part of it and some filling falls into his lap.)
Ross: (holds up a hand) Little girl misses her cat. (hold up the other hand) Crazy lady thinks her mother is in a cat. (gets up) Okay, y'know what, I have to go have dinner with my son, can I trust that when you see Phoebe, you will tell her.
(All others are looking up, surprised)
Rachel: Well, youve been here for two months now and your boss is required to hand in a performance evaluation. But yknow, there is one thing that I have yet to evaluate. (She turns around and sweeps the stuff off of her desk and hops up onto it.)
Ross: Yeah. The bartender said that they split up into two search parties, the herbivores and the carnivores. (pause) You know, we as a group are not the coolest.
Monica: Oh yeah...So how did you end up kissing?
Chandler: Okay, all right, all right, all right! Okay! (Picks up a blue sweater.) Okay, here's something, here's something blue and new.
(Chandler goes out into the hall and lights up a cigarette.)
Michelle: Why would he break up with me?
Rachel: (on phone) Ross, hi, it's Rachel. I'm just calling to say that um, everything's fine and I'm really happy for you and your cat...(cut)...I am over you. I am over you and that, my friend, is what they call closure. (She hangs up and tosses phone in the ice bucket.)
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross: Yeah, um, okay see, you were, you were on the list but my friend, Chandler (Chandler waves) brought up the very good point that you are international, so I bumped you for Wynona Rider, local.
Rachel: (On the phone) Excuse me? Oh yeah? Well, up yours too! (Hangs up)
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Phoebe: So, what are we gonna do? Are we just gonna go ahead and set them up with people?
Rachel: Well, Phoebe set me up on a date.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
Phoebe: oh umm Mike's picking me up for a date.
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Okay. Uh, well can we, can we get you anything Mr. Zelner? Maybe some chocolates? (Holds up the box.)
CHAN: Joey, be a pal. Lift up my hand and smack her with it.