words in movies
Ross: Take from me, as the groom all you have to do is show up and try to say the right name.
Monica: This baby has got everything. Take yknow, locations for instance. (She opens up the binder to the locations chapter.) First, organized alphabetically, then geographically, then by square footage.
Joey: (sitting up from the couch) Hey Mon, do you have another pillow? (Holds up one.) Yknow, something a little snugglyer?
Joey: Uh, well he did not get sick somewhere in there and it was immediately found and properly cleaned up!
Monica: Yeah! Roses or Lilies? (Holds up a picture of each.)
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sweeping up as Rachel enters.]
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Phoebe: Oh, its my fault?! You didnt have to massage him! You couldve sent him away! You couldve not rolled Tonka trucks up and down his back!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: Yeah thats right! Come on Joey; sex me up!
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am so bad at this.
Phoebe: (looks at Monica) Hey, yknow what might cheer you up?
(Ross gets up and gestures to Rachel, we cut to Joey and Rachel)
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Joey: Hey, Pheebs! Check-check this out. (Holds up his hand in one of Phoebe's chords.)
Monica: (continuing) Now, most guys will hit uh, 1-2-3 and then go to 7 and set up camp.
(Phoebe gets up from the table, and while her back is turned, Rachel and Monica indicate via sign language that they each would have picked the other.)
Ross: Yeah. Right. Save it. I can do that. (Gets up and does a little kara-tay.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is setting up for the slide show.]
(He takes her hands in his and kisses each one, then kisses her on the lips. When the break the kiss, Rachel starts to get nauseous and throw up. Joey backs away in horror.)
Director: OK, everyone gather up.
JOEY: "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. You're the funniest kid in school.
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
[Sequence 1: Chandler is running past Phoebe with the ball, Phoebe flashes him, he stops and stares dumbfounded at her. Phoebe then runs up and takes the ball away.]
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Chandler: No, you shNo you said you made that up!!
PHOEBE: Yeah? Are you sure, really. [She picks up a mirror and sees the white splotches all over her face.]
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Chandler: (Getting up and raising his fist in victory) Y-Y-YEEESSS! Make "groom" for Chandler.
(Chandler's boss (Doug) walks up.)
Chandler: I dont believe it. The most romantic night of my life and Im runner up.
Joey: (holding a box) Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were all stuck in her with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said Rachel at the wedding, I figured it was gonna happen again, so I hid this in here.
[Scene: The Rehearsal Dinner Hall. Chandler, Joey, Ross, Emily, Monica, and all the bridal party are seated at the table. Chandler gets up to make a toast.]
Phoebe: .and I said Vicrum you can't just call every time you get lonely you know, you, you gave up that right when you slept with Rachel.
Monica and Chandler: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Phoebe: Youre the cook! With out you its just me driving up to peoples houses with empty trays and asking for money!
Ross: Oh no-no, after you. (She grabs a chair and heads upstairs.) (When shes gone.) Oh my God! (He drops the box and Chandler cant pick it up.)
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Monica: Yeah, its just something I picked up.
(Monica glares triumphantly across the room, scaring Rachel who also stands up.)
Rachel: Get up!
(Another woman walks up.)
Chandler: Well, that's what we do. Y'know, I-I mess up and then you tell me how to fix it and then I do and then y'know you think I'm all cute again.
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
A Female Student: Yeah, what's up with that girl Monica?
Ross: Laugh it up, but the jokes on you. Because we dont need to get divorced, okay? We were just gonna get an annulment.
Monica: (hums for a while, then gives up, and in her head) If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. No. Don't do this. This is stupid! I don't have to prove anything, I'm gonna go get them...But then everyone will know. Unless I get them, and then wake up really early and put them back! ...I need help! (She buries her head in her pillow.)
Ross: Well, I have a PhD, so... (assistant walk out, not impressed by this statement) (Ross takes his bathrobe off and he enters the tanning booth. He stands up in front of the red light and the sprayer starts and sprays his face and torso)
Rachel: No! (Gets up to leave.) (Under her breath.) If there was I wouldn't tell you.
Phoebe: And yknow, even if they break up again, youd better not let him in your sad mens club!
Rachel: OK, sorry to break up this party, but I've got resumes to fax before work tomorrow... (gets up to leave)
Monica: Have you even had a girl up here?
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Chandler: Ugh. Just a sec, give me a minute to wake up for thisAh-ha-ha!! You lost the ring! Youre the worst best man ever!
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Kim: Oh, she doesn't come down here any more. You can find her up on ten.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
Ross: And then she told me that she and Joey had broken up, and that part of the reason was that she had feelings for me.
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!
Ross: (going up to Rachels closed door) Chandler? (He opens the door and looks inside and doesnt see him.) Chandler? (He checks the bathroom and still doesnt find him. He then finds a note on the counter. He picks it up and reads it.)
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Ross: Hey, I know whatll get us up on a platform!
CHANDLER: Hey. Well, you will all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. This woman, Alison, from work. She's great. She's pretty, she's smart. And uh, I've been holding off on asking her out in the past, because she has an unusually large head. But, I'm not gonna let that stuff hang me up anymore. Look at me. I'm growing.
Rachel: Oh, honey, please, no, I can't get started with all that Ross stuff again. I mean, he's gonna screwed up for a looong time. And besides y'know, I don't, I don't go for guys right after they get divorced.
Monica: What are you up too?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Right down there. (Points.) Hey listen; let me give you a little tip. Do not take a nap on this stoop (Points to hers) or you can wake up with your shoes gone.
Rachel: (hanging up the phone) I got the job!
JEANNIE: Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up. Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
[Scene: Rachels Outer Office, Tag is sitting at his desk as Rachel walks up. She stops and watches him pick up the phone.]
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Joey: (hes just picked up their bill) Hey! So, whats with the 20 percent tip? Did I do something wrong?
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
Rachel: (She bends over to try and pick up the aspirin) Oww!
Monica: Yeah huh!! Cover yourself up!
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Emily: Oh, no-no, yknow I absolutely adore Rachel its just that, well it might be a awkward for you. But its absolutely your decision. (Gets up.) More tea?
Ross: Whats up?
Joey: Oh, uh... don't forget your coupon. (Tries to strike a sexy pose up against the doorway to his room. Then goes inside).
Chandler: Oh my God! If you say that one more time, Im gonna break up with you!
Ross: (sitting up) No! (Exits.)
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: Ross! Way to suck up to the family.
Ross: Ok, no, no, you hang up. You, you, y...
Joey: Thats so sweet. (pause) Im gonna get some coffee. (gets up and leaves)
Carol: (jumping up to get it) I got it!
Rachel: (standing up) Ahh... Chandler's on the couch!!
Rachel: Whats up, Ross?
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Joey: You can totally tell! Here look, watch me. (He stands up and turns his back to them so that he is facing the window.) Smile! Frown. Smile! Frown. (The camera cuts to Ross outside hanging up the phone.) Smile! (Ross turns around and sees Joey alternately smiling and frowning and just stares at him for a second and heads back inside.)
Ross: Well, if hes angry, he really shouldnt just cover it up. I-I wish he would just tell me the truth.
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Shhh! Im on a call! (On phone) Umm well yeah, you can pick it up tonight, say 8:30? At-at my apartment. Its umm, its umm 5 Morton Street, Apartment 14, umm and then maybe yknow after we can grab a bite to eat or whatever. (Listens) Okay, well okay Ill see you then. (Listens) Bye. (Hangs up.)
Joey: Ah, Im-Im walking down the aisle...Still walking. (Mrs. Waltham takes her place.) Im about to pass the bridesmaid I hooked up with last night. (Looking at the bridesmaid.) Hey! (Talking to Phoebe.) I told her "Hey." And now Im at the front with Ross. Its Phoebe. (He shows Ross the phone.) He looks pretty mad. Uh...Id better go.
(He slowly measures it up his leg, and Chandler makes a rather surprised face.)
Joey: 'Cause I figured you'd hooked up with some girl and she'd left it there.
Gavin: Well, let me explain how birthday parties usually work. There are presents, and a cake, perhaps a fourth or fifth person. Ok, I ... got you the present to make up for being such a jerk to you earlier.
Paul: I know. I like it up here.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Rachel: Times up, now your dead.
Rachel: No, we decided that I would go ahead and set up first, and then my mom would bring Emma to Paris on Sunday.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Ross: Looking up?
PHOE: [singing] There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil. Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real. Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call Ju...Loolie? He must decide, he must decide, even though I made him up, he must decide!
(Phoebe gets up.)
Monica: Oh my God. He threw up?
Ross: (on phone) Thats right, Ryder. Wynona Ryder for six. (listens) Thank you. (hangs up) (to the gang) Yeah, we have the reservations.