words in movies
Phoebe: I know! So this woman probably could like have all kinds of stories about my parents, and she might even know like where my Dad is. So I looked her up, and she lives out by the beach. So maybe this weekend we could go to the beach?
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Joey: (walking up carrying a brown paper bag) Hey!
(Phoebe drives up.)
Phoebe: And this time, theyve ganged up to form one giant, super hat.
Phoebe Sr: (on phone) Ah, oh, hang on a second. (to Phoebe) Come in, come in. (on phone) All right, so think about it, and call me back. (hangs up)
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Ross: Yeah well, if ah, if thats the rule this weekend... (She gets up) No!
Rachel: Yes! (she starts creeping up on him)
Ross: (he gets up and starts to run away from her) No! (in his escape attempt he crushes Chandlers sand castle) No!
(Ross dives over the couch, Rachel goes the other way, and lands up top of him.)
(They get into a wrestling match, that ends with Ross making Rachel paint her forehead with the nail polish. They both end up lying next to each other, stop, and look at each other for a moment.)
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Ross: Okay, (reading the card) Fonzy gives you two thumbs up, collect two cool points. Yeah.
Ross: Okay, come on! (blows on the dice) Daddy needs a new pair of electromagnetic microscopes for the Prehistoric Forensics Department! (They all look at him, and he shuts up and rolls the dice.) (he moves his piece) Okay. (reading a card) Take Pinky Tuscadero up to Inspiration Point, collect three cool points!! Yeah! Which gives me five, and lets see who is gonna lose their clothes. Ummmm, I think I pick our strip poker sponsor Mr. Joey Tribianni.
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Monica: I think Ill help her out. (She gets up to go over and help Rachel, and reveals she has no pants.) (to Rachel) What is going on here?
Bonnie: Cool! Ill catch up! (She takes off her sweater.)
Rachel: Well I assume the ah, happy couple isnt up yet. Did you guys hear them last night?
Chandler: Oh, yeah, I dont know what they were doing, but at one point sea turtles actually came up to the house.
(Joey finally wakes up.)
[Scene: The beach house, at night. Phoebe is hangs up the phone, and gently pushes one of the stools over.]
Ross: I was having a little chat with ah, Bonnie, and ah, guess what, she-she happened to bring up y'know, who was behind the um, whole head shaving idea, and now, who was it? Oh, thats right, thats right, it was you!
Bonnie: So, anyone up for a midnight dip in the ocean?
Ross: I know, but ahhhhhh!! I really wanna go up there and finish that kiss!
Ross: Hey, itll grow back, right? And she-shes really fun, and shes cool, and-and Im finally moving on. Y'know? I mean getting over Rachel was so (makes an incoherent nasal sound), y'know? Y'know, and Im finally feeling sane again. And now if I go up there, and-and I kiss her, and, Gooood I wanna kiss her, and-and-and it doesnt work out, right? Do I really wanna put myself through that again?
[Scene: The beach house, Chandler is simulating hes coming to pick up Monica for a date. Chandler knocks on the door, and Monica answers it.]
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Rachel: Yeah! Okay, two larges coming right up!
Director: (on phone)...Dammit, hire the girl! (He hangs up the phone.) Okay, everybody ready?
(Suddenly Ross jumps up from behind the counter armed with a plastic gun. By the way, hes overacting too.)
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
Joey: No, Yeeees. God, how do I say this. (walks into the kitchen, Chandler follows closely, he turns around and gets startled). Oh, hi, you know that girl from the Greek restaurant with the hair (holds his hands up to signify she has big hair)?
Ross: Anyway, I figured after work I'd go pick up a bottle of wine, go over there and, uh, try to woo her.
Rachel: I feel like were the only two people in the world. (She sets down her wine class, picks up a walnut, and knocks another one on the floor.) Oops. Sorry. (She reaches down to pick it up and Ross hands it to her. Ross is hiding under the couch and causes Rachel to scream.)
Joey: This is embarrassing. (Looks it up.)
(Joey steps in a picks up the paper, the gang all look at him.)
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Joey: Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldnt even be an actor!
CHANDLER: Well, I think you should seriously consider the marriage thing, give Rachel another chance to dress up like Princess Bubble Yum.
FBOB: OK, now before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up? [everyone raises their hands] I'm still gonna go.
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Phoebe: (To Monica) Wrap it up, wrap it up, wrap it up
Rachel: (laughs) Okay. All right, stand up. (They do so.) Well, when were at the door, I lightly press my lips against his, and then move into his body just for a second, and then I make this sound, "Hmmm." Okay, I know it doesnt sound like anything, but I swear it works.
Aurora: (getting up and dressing) I'm sorry. He'll be waiting for me.
Ross: What are you doing up?
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Ross: (entering) Hey! I just heard. What's up?
Chandler: Ill make something up! Im good at lying, I actually did borrow your Walkman!
Chandler: Oh! (Stands up.)
(He goes to pull up his pants, but can't seem to get them past his knees. He frantically tries to pull them up to no avail. Panic sets in.)
Chandler: Well, this does butch it up a bit.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
Joey: So did you uh, happen to catch my toast up there?
Chandler: Oh, okay Ross. Listen, this pen is kinda getting boring, so can you pick me up some porn?
(Chloe gives Ross the thumbs up while still standing behind the door.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Chandler: All right! (He joins them in the fort and comes up putting on a bonnet.) Isn't this a woman's hat?
Phoebe: (looking up) There it is! Oh, look at that! Isnt Mother Nature amazing?
Joey: Thats not gonna happen. No. (Looks up) Because we have a new deal!
Ross: Not even, say, breaking up with Janice?
Phoebe: Lilly's dead. (He looks up in shock.)
Joey: So, Ross and Rachel got married, Monica and Chandler almost got married, do you think you and I should hook up?
Kathy: Yeah, they teamed us up as partners. Joey picked three scenes for us to do; all of them had us making out.
Monica: Y'know what? You're right Phoebe. You're right. Thank you! (Gets up to find Chandler.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey goes up to the bar to order.]
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
Janice: Oh. Oh I just cannot believe Clark stood me up!
Ross: Hey, both you guys should be up there with me. I mean, you two are-are my I mean, Im lucky to have just one good (They all start getting emotional.)
Ross: Okay, whats up?
Monica: Hi, come in! Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody, everybody, this is Paul.
Man: Could you press up too please?
Rachel: Come on, its not a big deal! We stayed up all night coming up with a plan so that us dating will not be a problem.
Chandler: Alright look, let's think about this, ok, do you really think that people are gonna stir up your family at this tragic time? That people are gonna post condolences on a website? This is not about people not caring that you're dead .This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
[Scene: A Restaurant, Ross and Rachel are on their double date. Rachel is busy talking Ross up.]
Monica: Thank you. (Hangs up.)
EDDIE: Naah, I crapped out, but Mr. 21 over here he cleans up, 300 bucks, check it out he buys me these new shoes, sweet huh?
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
Chandler: Pheebs, wake up and smell the restraining order.
[Scene: The Lobby, Ross is eating a sandwich as Phoebe rushes up to him.]
Phoebe: Oh hey! Wait up!
Monica: Chandler! I have to tell you, you smell so smokey I have to get up. I'm not kidding. (She's not; she stands and walks away. Chandler moves closer.)
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Joey: No! Everything's gettin' all messed up, y'know? Emily won't let Ross see Rachel, we're not gonna stop seeing Rachel, hence Ross stops seeing us!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is going up to the counter.]
Ross: Thats okay, Im cool over here. Ill catch up with you later, Joey. (Joey is shocked.)
Chandler: Buy stamps, pick up dry cleaning Dont let Phoebe in.
Phoebe: (simultaneously) Im breaking up with you!
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Pete: Look, forget the check, okay. (rips up the check) I like you. I think youre great. Come on, what do you say?
Monica: Okay whats up
Rachel: Joey! Come on! I dont wanna make any mistakes, alright? This is the only dessert and if I screw it up everybody's gonna be like Oh, remember that Thanksgiving when Rachel screwed up the trifle?
Monica: (stands up to hand Emma back) Oh no no no no!
Monica: (looking at Chandler sleeping with a balloon in his mouth) So sexy. (Waking him up.) Honey.
<Monica holds a turkey leg up in the air over the plate trying to cut meat off with a knife>
Phoebe: All right. (Gets up and walks out.)
Rachel: Now wait a minute thats not fair. He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was married to Emily, he just didnt tell me. (Everyone looks at her, Ross not happily.) Maybe I have to pee again. (Gets up to try to use the bathroom.)
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
(Monica picks up a glass to take a drink, everyone ducks as though she was about to throw it.)
Mike: Actually, I just gave up my practice.
Rachel: No! It didnt! Thats what I want to talk to you about. (starts to break up) Now, just to brief you (starts to cry) I may cry, but they are not tears of sadness or of anger, but just of me having this discussion with you.
Mike: (Joey holds up six fingers) Six!
Monica: (stands up angry) Tulsa, Oklahoma!
(Joey starts to get up but stops.)
Ross: Okay. (Closes the door.) (To Phoebe) I did divert her and we ended up having a great time! Okay?
Joey: No, no. He said "When are you gonna grow up and start being a mom?"
Phoebe: Oh hey Ross oh I'm so glad someone's here could you zip me up?
Phoebe: It's a tarantula! (Joey almost falls down from his drum-stool jumping up) Oh! God! Rachel, look, I'm sorry. What was I thinking giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider in such a poorly constructed cage?
Mike: what's up is Phoebe ok?
Phoebe: (picks up a dress) Hey Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
[they all put up their fists and prepare to fight]
Monica: Hmhmm. (ties up)
Ross: Uh sweetie, maybe youd be more comfortable here? (Gets up from the green armchair.)
Chandler: Ok. So if we both had Emma and I die <knocks on table> she'd have to give her up.
Ross: Sure, Monica would have to give her up.
Chandler: Dude! Dude! (Motions that Joey should pull up his pants.)
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
[Scene: The beach house, the next morning. Ross is passed out on the kitchen counter. He wakes up with a start and has one of the pages of the letter stuck to his face.]
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Phoebe: Oh, this is like the best day ever. Ever! You guys might get back together, Monica and Chandler are getting their baby, there are chicks and ducks in the world again! Oh, I feel like I'm in a musical! (Singing) "Daa - raa... When the sun comes up, bright and beaming! And the moon comes..."
Joey: Or maybe, its because youre hanging around here at 11:30 on a Wednesday. (Everybody gets up.)
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.