words in movies
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
[later in the bathroom Monica is looking in the drawer, Rachel runs up]
MONICA: Dr. Burke? I don't think so. I mean, like, he's a grown up.
Monica: All right, we'll stay. We can just drive up after the party.
Chandler: Oh, come on, theres a rest stop right up there! Come on, I really have to goooooooooo.
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Joey: Yeah, I-I-I'm down with that. (He turns back to the woman.) Okay, here goes. (Thinks.) How (Holds up his hand like an Indian) you (Points at her) a-doin'? (Does a little twisting motion with both hands and ends up pointing at her, he then winks. She smiles and waves again.) (To Monica) It worked! She's waving me over. (Towards the woman.) Okay, I-I-I'll be right over. Let's see, she's on the third floor
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
Phoebe: Okayyyyy, open up!
Dr. Franzblau: I'm gonna go check up on your friend.
Chandler: Oh totally! (Holds up his finger.) Pull my finger.
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
Monica: Shut up! This place is a hole!
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Phoebe: I wouldn't bring that up, it would probably just bum him out.
Chandler: Whoah whoah, back up there, Sparky. What'd you mean by that?
Rachel: No well, no it's not that bad, y'know? I mean yeah, my tongue feels a little fuzzy and these fingers sort of smell, I actually feel like I can throw up.
Phoebe: Okay, time to bring up the rest of the cups. (She goes and opens the door to Joey.) Oh, hi Joey!
Monica: I have to be up in seven minutes.
Joey: Id love to show ya, but I just tucked her in. Shes sleeping. (The women both laugh) Hey uh, would you two girls like to go for a drink? (Just then the same guy with the football dives to make a catch, lands on the car cover, and collapses it. It turns out that Joey set up a bunch of boxes to make it look like a Porsche.)
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
MRS. GELLER: Over here Jack. OK. I see, Rachel's coming up the path. Oh doesn't she look pretty. Jack, get this. [Rachel enters with a huge nose]
[Scene: Mike's parents building. Phoebe gets out of the classy elevator, looking all dressed up like an older woman, and very un-Phoebe. She walks to the door and rings the doorbell.]
Rachel: Oh (happy) oh no just stopped to throw up a little bit. (Emma starts crying again.) Oh come on, what am I gonna do, its been hours and it wont stop crying.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
(He turns to get his coat and Monica gives Rachel and Phoebe two thumbs up as Chandler walks over to Ross.)
Ross: I knew it! I knew it! I always knew she liked him! Y'know, shed say no, but here we are! Right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Ross: (finding the part) (looks up in disgust) It so does not!!!
Rachel: Ooh, I have to go pack. (Gets up to do so.) It really does?
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
Chandler: Did your Dad ever dress up like Santa?
Monica: (standing up) Ahhhhhhhh!
Ross: (opening the door to see Mona standing there) Mona? What arehi! What are you doing here? Im, um, supposed to pick you up!
ROSS: Ok, then you're gonna have to understand that you're with a guy who's not gonna stop planning his future with you because he knows that we're gonna end up together and if that scares you, tough, 'cause you're gonna have to deal with that.
Ross: Hey, I thought I'd end up kissing Charlie too ok? But SURPRISE!
(Joey turns off the lights, and they all leave as Rachel starts to clean up. Ross enters from the bathroom.)
Chandler: Great! Okay, here. (Holds the ring up for him.)
Rachel: Ross? All this time? Well, I've got to talk to him. (gets up to leave)
Monica: Come on! (The girls all run out and Joey holds up Chandler by smiling.)
(He walks up onto the altar and notices the rabbi.)
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Frank: Then I go feel your friend up and make you mad at me.
(Chandler holds up a camera and takes Ross's picture.)
Monica: Okay, wait, you gotta hang up cause were gonna be late.
Chandler: Forget it! Okay, Im not giving up the apartment.
Ross: Oh, that is so sweet.(listens) No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three.(He doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet.) Well you didn't hang up either.
Monica: You know, I would give her up, for you.
(Another man walks up with a drink in his hand, Phoebe stops him too.)
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Ross: Okay, Ill be up in, (looks at the letter) 18 pages. Front and back. Very exciting.
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Monica: (takes the phone from Ross) Come on. (Answering phone) Hello? (Listens) Im sorry you have the wrong number. (Listens) (Whispering) Okay, Ill call you later dad. I love you. (Hangs up.)
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
(Ross gets up to let his dad sit next to Monica.)
[Scene: Library. Ross show up with a MonkeyShine Beer poster.]
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Ross: All right, I gotta take off. I'm picking up Ben then we're off to the big audition.
Rachel: I wouldn't worry about it. She's always coming up with stuff like this, and you know what? She's almost never right.
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, fine, I'm gonna look it up (she goes and picks up the dictionary).
Joey: Sure. (To Monica and Rachel) Coffee? Cause Im going up there.
(He walks up behind Monica and gives her a big hug and a kiss on the neck.)
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
(Ross suddenly gets up and heads for the bathroom.)
David: I'm sorry, uh... I just wish I could make her forget about Mike already, you know... Why did Phoebe and Mike break up?
Joey: Man, if anyone asked me to give up any of you, I couldn't do it.
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh, okay maybe they put your picture back up they can put you next to Matt Lauer. Look at him, smiling at me. (Giggles) Yeah I know; wed be great together!
Joey: Thanks for everything Estelle. Bye. (Hangs up and reads the phone display) "out of area". Boy, I'll say.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Joey: Whoa, that doesn't necessarily mean that he's breaking up with you.
Chandler: You didnt just break up.
Chandler: Okay, I get it. So, I get nothing! Nothing here is mine! Everything here is yours! Ill get up in the morning put on your clothes, and head off to work!
Casting Director #2: Thats where you pick up the bag.
Monica: (reading): OK... Dear Ms. Green... yeah... yeah... yeah... No. (crumpes up letter)
Monica: Then get over yourself! Grow up!
Rachel: Okay, fine. (She gets up and walks into her bedroom)
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
Chandler: I'm sorry, he's a little bit wound up, we had to stop at every maple candy stand on the way here.
Ross: Well, fine. Fine! If-if Im the only person with any appreciation of the sanctity of the written word, Ill go up there and defend it myself! (Starts to do so, but stops and to the previous librarian) And dont you follow me!
Ross: Have you seen this? It's a new alumni website for college! It's cool! You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Dr. Green: No, when you put your feet up in my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Chandler: (sees Kathy is up watching TV) Hi!
Phoebe: So is Joey going to have to give up the apartment?
Rachel: (now looking up at the ceiling) That is hard to say, Ross. That is hard to say.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Ross: I-I know. Well if something comes up... (walks away)
[Rachel exits into the hallway just as Ross is coming up the stairs.]
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Rachel: Oh, she's coming up! She's coming up! (Turns on the TV)
Bonnie: (getting up and leaving) (to Ross) Okay, Ill see you in our room.
Chandler: Well, don't we look nice all dressed up?...It's stuff like that, isn't it?
Mrs. Green: No. Sweetie, youre gonna be fine. (Starts to get up.)
Chandler: See my friend-my friend, Rachel, she wants to be set up.
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.