words in movies
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
(The woman gets up and walks over to their table.)
Chandler: No, see the thing is I want to get out of here before Joey gets all worked up and starts calling everybody bitch.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Die Hard has ended, only I dont think Joey and Ross know that yet. As you see, they are both asleep. And theyre on the same couch. Which means theyre sleeping together. Not like Joey is at one end and Ross is on the other, they both happen to be lying down and sleeping together. Well, there hasnt been any clothes removed so not that kind of sleeping together. Not that theres anything wrong with that. That is unless youre a Republican in which that kind of thing will bring about the downfall of Western society, especially if they should happen to want to get married. Anyway, let me recap. No, there is too much, let me sum up. Ross and Joey are taking a nap together on top of each other and both wake-up at the same time, realize what they just did, scream, and jump up.]
Chandler: No, no I only dated two girls in college, both blonde, both not attractive (Thinks a little while.) Hold on one second; let me check this out. (He gets up and grabs a photo album.
Monica: Did you break up with her?
Chandler: (pause) No, were still together. Yeah we went out for two summers, and then I broke up with her.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Ross: Because its the highest. (Joey shrugs his shoulders) Okay, Rachel youre up first. (Rachel stands up and gets ready.) Situation No. 1: Youre with Monica, the wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go! (Joey is playing the part of Monica.)
Rachel: Thank you. Thank you very much. Umm, Ive known them separately and Ive known them together and-and to know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love. So I would like to raise my glass (Grabs a glass and holds it up) to Monica and Chandler and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together. I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
Chandler: Ah, uh, I owe you a long overdue apology. I never should have broken up with you because you were overweight.
Julie: Thats why you broke up with me?
(Joey gets up and heads for the door. After a pause Ross decides to join him.)
Monica: Are you gonna break up with me if I get fat again?
Monica: Well, you broke up with Julie Grath! How much weight could she have gained?
Chandler: Look I know it was a stupid reason to break up with somebody, but I was 15!
Chandler: So you can balloon up or you can shrink down and I will still love you.
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey and Ross are napping together again and both wake up at the same time.]
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
Ross: (slowly stands up and says quietly) Excuse me. (Exits.)
Rachel: So Joey I just hooked Ross and Chandler up with some tuxedos for the wedding, do you need one?
Tim: Uh. (He holds up a brown lunch bag.)
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
Rachel: Shut up!
Chandler: (Without looking up) What? (Looks up) What?
Monica: C'mon up.
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Ross: people (shakes head, they sit) so why you all dressed up.
Chandler: Oh, thanks, but I think she'd feel like we're gangin' up on her.
CHANDLER: Well, we haven't exactly met, we just stayed up all night talking on the internet.
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Ooh, I miss dating. Gettin all dressed up and going to a fancy restaurant. Im not gonna be able to do that for so long, and its so much fun! I mean not that sitting at home worrying about giving birth to a sixteen pound baby is not fun.
Monica: Y'know what, thats fine, maybe you havent grown up, but I have.
Joey: (laughing hysterically) Youre right! That did cheer me up!
Joey: Man, I remember the first time I saw that girl Katherine, after we broke up. She was just walking with her friend Donna, just laughing and talking. God, it killed me.
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...
Rachel: (takes off her robe) Oh! Look what happened! {Don't get your hopes up guys, we only get to see her from the back or from the neck up. Its times like these I wish that the networks would broadcast some nudity other than Denis Franz's butt.} (In her head.) Huh, check me out! I'm in my kitchen naked! I'm picking up an orange. (Does so) I'm naked! (Goes into the living room) Lighting the candles, naked, and carefully. (She backs anything that might have a point like a candle on her body away.)
Chandler: Yknow, I-I could see how this could happen, y'know youre up there every night, youre naked, touching, kissing.
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Ross: So when I came in here to see if you wanted to maybe start things up again, you were engaged to my best friend.
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Ross: Well then wed be in a lot of trouble, you dont know where any countries are. (Rachel glares at him.) Okay. (He goes over to the desk followed by Rachel.) Uh, say would you umm Would you mind checking again to see if any umm, private rooms may have (Handing her some money) opened up?
Joey: (sitting up again) I'm telling you, Rach, Charlie is not right for me!
(Just as they start to get up, Joey walks in.)
Rachel: What's up?
Monica: (steps up and points at her) All right! You and me! Lets go! Right now!
Monica: You know what? I take back what I said before. You keep playing at the restaurant, because with your music driving people inside, my bar sales are going up like crazy.
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
Rachel: (she's sad) Ow. I don't want him to wake up alone! I should go to the hospital!
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
(Chandler wakes up and looks a bit confused when he finds that he has a pacifier in his mouth.)
Ross: (running up) Hey! Sorry I kept you waiting so long.
Monica: Okay, I gotta go. (gets up)
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Phoebe: (Jumping up) Yeah?
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Chandler: ...Poulet passes it up to Leetch! (Passes it to Joey.)
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Monica: Yeah, but the important thing to know about us, is how much we would care for this little baby. (holds up the sonogram)
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Chandler: Yeah, I don't think he's up to meeting everyone yet.
Erica: (to Chandler) Being a doctor must take up a lot of time.
Phoebe: Quite an interesting turn of events, suddenly its my book to the rescue, huh? (Reading her book) Ooh, very interesting. Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
Joey: I think I left a donut up here.
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Ross: All right. (Gets up.) I'll uh, I'll see you later, okay?
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Nurse: My god. You still have your Christmas lights up?
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Monica: Okay. It's-it's about Alan. There's something that you should know. I mean, there's really no easy way to say this.. uh.. I've decided to break up with Alan.
Joey: (on phone) Hey! Did Chandler show up yet?
Gunther: (cleaning up the table) (to Robert) Hey buddy, this is a family place, put the mouse back in the house.
Monica: Ok, three kinds of potatoes coming up.
Janice: (entering and singing) Monica and Rachel had syrup, now I can get my man to cheer up. (laughs hysterically) Good morning Joey.
[Scene: Rachel's office, Rachel and Gavin there, phone rings, Gavin picks it up]
Joey: Maybe you can tell me. My agent would like to know why I didn't show up at the audition I didn't know I had today. The first good thing she gets me in weeks. How could you not give me the message?!
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Janice: (Ross is still taking their photo) Oh, I'm gonna blow this one up, and I'm gonna write 'Reunited' in glitter.
[Cut to Marcel walking along a hallway. He notices a banana on the floor and picks it up. The hand of an unseen person grabs him and carries him away. Then cut to Ross and Rachel on the street outside.]
Rachel: Well I can do whatever I want! I made her! (Waking Emma up.) Come on little girl, hi!
Chandler: We cant tell him, you cant go up to a guy you barely know and talk about his.... stuff.
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: That is correct! Yes, youre supposed to take all of that stuff and put it in a little box in your mind and then lock it up tight.
Morse: You see, thats why I did so bad on this test. Im having a hard time concentrating. When youre up there (Points to the podium) and youre teaching and your face gets all serious you look so good. (In a sexy voice) You wear that tight little turtleneck sweater
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.
[Scene: The Porsche, Joey is finishing up washing the car and is talking to a guy about the car.]
Phoebe: Oh! No problem! I (Cassie emerges from the bathroom and we once again visit slow motion Barry White background music land with the sexy hair-flipping thing going on, only this time Phoebe is entranced. For more information on Denise Richards you can visit your local library or look her up on the Internet at her official website at www.deniserichards.com.)
FRIEND: She's probably not even very pretty, just young enough so that everything is still pointing up. [Monica folds her arms over her breasts]
RICHARD: Ok, I have to sleep on the west side because I grew up in California and otherwise the ocean would be on the wrong side.
Rachel: I woke up today with the biggest smile on my face.
Joey: Shut up!
Ross: Oh, you're... (gives up)
Joey: Hey, let's go look at it! (They both jump up.)
Joey: "Whered you grow up," its so simple!
Ross: No, Im not gonna pick them up.
(Ross stands up.)
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Chandler: No, I mean, come on, seriously think about it, we get married, were up at the altar and Im like this. (Makes a bored face.)
(Monica gets up, looks in Rachel's purse.)
Phoebe: Okay so, well just come up with some kind of signal if its going well you can take off.
Ross: So Rachel, what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?
Rachel: Oh, time's up.
(Monica sits, Rachel gets up.)
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Oh hey! Can you, can you hang on a second? (To Phoebe and Rachel) Its the producers over at Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E. can you excuse me for a minute? (On phone) Hey, funny you should call. I was just looking over next weeks script. (Listens) Canceled?! (Listens) Like theyre taking it off the air? (Listens) Ohh. (Listens) All right, see you Monday. (Listens) Were not even shootin them anymore?!! (Listens) All right, bye! (Hangs up) They canceled Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E!
Chandler: (on phone, reading from a script) Oh, Danielle! I wasn't expecting the machine... Give me a call when you get a chance. (Rattles some dishes) Bye-bye. (Hangs up.) Oh God!
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Dr. Green: You think you can knock up my daughter and then not marry her?! Im gonna kill you!!
Monica: You didnt dress up either?!
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Ross: Yknow what? Shed-shed love this. (Picks up a model of the Saturn V rocket, thats the one that took man to the moon.) Uh, its an exact replica of Apollo 8. I made it in the sixth grade.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)