words in movies
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: You have not changed!
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Hey!
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Eric: Sorry, I just saw Ursula. I had to give the engagement ring back.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
(Ursula points out a vacant table, so the twins walk over, side by side, to sit down. Departing customers walk right past the pair. Sitting at the back, a hungry gentleman looks most annoyed as Ursula sets his meal down in front of her. The girls sit.)
Eric: Hi, its Eric. From the Halloween party, Ursulas fianc�e.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!