words in movies
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Wow! Didn't she die like five years ago?
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: Wait! If umm, if you want to come, I guess thatd be okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
(Ursula opens the door and hands her the note.)
Ursula: Oh, its you.
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Yeah, were not thirty, were 31.
Ursula: Yeah.
Ursula: Yes.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Ursula: Right, okay, then no.
Ursula: Yes! Phoebe.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Okay.
Ursula: I dont know. He said he did all this stuff and then I said I did it too and he got so excited, it was really fun.
(Ursula puts the box directly into Phoebe's hand. Phoebe brightens.)
Ursula: Umm, nothing. I mean, Im getting married next week.
(Phoebe reels back in shock, while Ursula defiantly leans against the doorpost as though she owns the place.)
Eric: Ursula?
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: You-you you had sex with Ursula?!
Ursula: Oh, I thought there was a mirror there. Okay, bye-bye. (Starts to walk again.)
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Oh! Okay, so thats why youre (Motions to what shes wearing.)
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Ursula: Right.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: You have not changed!
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.