words in movies
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Who is it?
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Ursula: Hey!
Ursula: No Im not.
Ursula: Yeah, can I help you with something?
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Ursula: Hurry up I gotta pray!!
Ursula: Yknow, wed really better get going.
Ursula: Right, okay, the one that lives in Montuak, umm-hmm.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
Ursula: Oh, right. He is so great. But that's over.
Ursula: Yeah, no were not thirty. Were 31. Okay. (She closes the door.)
Phoebe: (reading from the note) Good-bye Phoebe and Ursula. Ill miss you. P.S. Your Mom lives in Montauk. You just wrote this!
(Phoebe hands Eric Ursulas purse and he walks away.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Phoebe is exiting Monica and Chandlers, and finds Ursula standing in the hallway smoking.]
Phoebe: Peace Corps, really? (Ursula motions, "I dont know.")
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Ursula: (waving the cigarette in Phoebes face) Its a filthy, disgusting habit and I want you to quit now!
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Ursula: You have not changed!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: Who is it?
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.