words in movies
Phoebe: Oooh, I love family traditions like that. When uhm... when Ursula and I were kids, on our birthday, our stepdad would sell his blood to buy us food!
Joey: I'm takin' Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
Phoebe: So, I just came from the company Ursula works for.
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) You know... (unconsciously putting a hand on his knee) You're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
Phoebe: Hello handsome. (Sees Ursula over her shoulder) Oh God. (Walks away in shame as they kiss.) Oh look at you two. So when did you guys meet?
Phoebe: Ursulas fianc�e?
Ursula: No, I umm, I read about her in Moms suicide note.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) That's right, I don't... But I was, I was drunk on you!
(Ursula gets up to fetch a box from her bag by the counter.)
(Ursula spins around looking puzzled, quite unable to tell where the sound is coming from.)
Rachel: Oh, its a tattoo! Thats weird, Phoebe doesnt Wait thats Ursula! Thats not Phoebe that is Ursula!
(Ursula is genuinely pleased that her sister has visited her, after so many years. Phoebe hesitates over how best to begin.)
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
Phoebe: There-there was a suicide note?! (Ursula nods Yes.) Well, do you still have it?
Ursula: Yknow, twin stuff is always a real big seller.
Eric: No-no its not! I dont want to lose you! Its-its like I was saying to Ursula when I was making love to her and I thought she was youYeah it is too weird.
Phoebe: (as Ursula): Yeah, um... (nervously clears her throat) You know you, you should just forget about what I said under the bridge, I was talkin' crazy that night, I was so drunk!
Phoebe: Well, Ursula is a waitress and-and she lives in Soho. And Phoebe, (pause) is on this couch.
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking down it and passes Ursula.]
[Scene: Riff's, Phoebe is entering. Ursula returns with two plates of chicken, but she only has time to set one on the table, when...]
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
(Ursula picks up a fork and begins eating the meat, while Phoebe removes a present from her bag.)
Phoebe: No Im having fun. Im reallyAnd Im really-really excited for you and Ursula.
Phoebe: Ursula! (Ursula turns, smiles, and continues walking.) Wait! Err-err, its me! Phoebe!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Ursula: Oh, wow! You remembered! (Opening it) Oh! It's a Judy Jetson thermos!
Phoebe: Oh no-no, no, I made a promise to myself that the next time I would talk to Ursula would be over my dead body. And thats not happening til October 15th, 2032.
Phoebe: She is lying! And I bet I can prove it. Excuse me. (She grabs Ursulas purse and starts going through it and finds some papers.) Okay. Okay. YeahNot a prayer chain, but what looks like a detailed drawing of a bank floor plan. (Holds up her nametag.) Okay, heres the nametag from the restaurant where she works as a waitress! Not a teacher, a waitress. All right, heres her driver license, this oughta be good, she always lies about this. How old did she say she was?
Ursula: Well, then who's been dead for five years?
Ursula: Yeah, I can talk them into giving you like, 30 dollars.
Ursula: All right, hang on! (She takes the note, goes back into her apartment and slams the door shut.)
Ursula: (disgusted) Hang on. (She goes into her apartment and slams the door in Phoebes face.)
Ursula: Yeah. It wasnt a town when I got there, but it was a town when I left. (To Eric) Shall we get me really drunk?
(Ursula Buffay, Phoebes identical twin sister, is waiting on tables in her inimitable manner.)
(Trying not to wrinkle her nose, Phoebe smiles back realising it's down to her to make up for her negligent sister. Meanwhile, Ursula still hasn't received her side salad, but when she attempts to attract the waiter's attention, he ignores her.)
(Ursula resumes eating her lunch..)
Phoebe: You too. And Ursula?! It was really nice meeting you tonight!!
Ursula: Yeah, its a fine line huh?
Ursula: Yeah, I got a big box of family stuff when my mom died.
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
Ursula: Right... Oh, I got something for you, too.
Ursula: Huh. Well, Im supposed to be working at the restaurant tonight. Im supposed to be working right now, so who cares.
Malcom: So you spied on me. I can't believe you don't trust me. (Ursula walks past, and Malcom finds behind the pillar)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) I'm sorry.
Ursula: (Surprised) Oh.
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Phoebe: Wait! (Knocks on the door and Ursula opens it.)
Phoebe: Huh? (Ursula motions for Phoebe to keep quiet.)
Ursula: Yeah, um, I was over there, then you said, "Excuse me, hello Miss," so now Im here.
Chandler: Your sister Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah, um, may we help you?
[Scene: Ursulas apartment, Phoebe is going to confront her twin about her new porn career.]
Ursula: Oh!
Ursula: Uh-huh.
Ursula: You have not changed!
Ursula: Right.
Ursula: Who?
Ursula: He is? Why?
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Listen, um...
Eric: Uh listen, I justI thought you should know I broke up with Ursula.
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes taking the hippity-hop to Ursulas apartment as a gift. She knocks on the door and Ursula answers it.]
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Ursula: Excuse me. Doesn't this come with a side salad?
Ursula: Yeah! Yeah, its gonna be a small ceremony. Just family. (Phoebe looks at her.) His.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
Ursula: Right, why do you keep saying that?
Ursula: Um, yeah, um, twin thing.
Phoebe: Um, yeah, you want Ursula, and I'm Phoebe. Twin sisters! Seriously.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Ursula: Yeah. Okay great. Im gonna be over here. (She wanders away.)
Guy: One more chance Ursula, please?
Ursula: Um, yeah, I'm just... (waving dismissively at the concept) ..working.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Um, then yes, it's 'cause of Phoebe! So, you know, it's either her or me.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Eric: (entering) Hey. Ursula said she left her purse.
Ursula: Well they could be true.
Ursula: Hey!
Phoebe: Okay, first I'm not crazy. And second, say it don't spray it. Anyway his name is Malcom, and he wasn't following me, I mean he was, but 'cause he thought I was Ursula, ick. And, that's why, that's why he couldn't just come up and talk to me. 'Cause of the restraining order.
Phoebe: (to the person that answered the door) Hi, Ursula.
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Hey.
Ursula: (yelling from downstairs) Eric!! Lets go!!
Ursula: Yeah. So how have you been doing?
Phoebe: (walking over) Hey. Ursulas fianc�e is really sweet! Hes a teacher, he does all this volunteer work. Yknow normally yknow, I dont like really sweaty guys. But this one? I could just mop him up!
Ursula: Who is it?
[Scene: Phoebes birthday, shes telling everyone what she found out at Ursulas while sitting in Central Perk.]
Ursula: Umm, yeahno thanks.
Ursula: (sarcastic) Right! Okay. (Hands Phoebe her births certificate.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
(Ursula turns in surprise.)
Phoebe: (as Ursula) Okay, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
Ursula: Okay, I know that I went to that all ready.
Ursula: Thanks! Enjoy your funeral.
Ursula: No, I sold it to a Swedish runaway.
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Ursula: Well, its pretty much the gist. Well, except for the poem. You read the poem, right?
Ursula: Right. (Walks down the stairs.)