words in movies
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: What?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
The Waiter: No.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.