words in movies
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
The Waiter: Hey!
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
The Waiter: No.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Customer: Hey, waiter.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Waiter: Champagne?
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: Hello.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
The Waiter: No, its really good.
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?