words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Hello.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: Ooh...
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: What?
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!