words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: What?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
The Waiter: No, its really good.
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!