words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
Waiter: Yeah.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Waiter: What?
(The waiter leaves.)
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Joey: Oh well, that changes everything! (Grabs his menu and starts looking at it again. The waiter leaves.) Yknow what Pheebs?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross is waiting for his blind date to show up. A waiter walks past him.]
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.