words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
The Waiter: No.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Customer: Hey, waiter.
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
The Waiter: Hey!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
The Waiter: Okay.
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter: Champagne?
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
(The waiter leaves.)
Waiter: What?
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Joey: No-ohoh. (the Bings leave, the waiter comes)
The Waiter: Yeah, people get pretty generous around the holidays. And it never hurts to wear tight trousers.
Waiter: It�s been an hour. ??? be willing to reconsider switching to a smaller table.
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.