words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
The Waiter: Okay.
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Customer: Hey, waiter.
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: Hey!
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Waiter: Champagne?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Waiter: Yeah.
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Waiter: It�s just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Waiter: Er�does not.
Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Waiter: Oh, they�re both exclus�
Waiter: Hello.
Waiter: I�ll give you another minute.
Waiter: Got stood up, huh?
(The waiter leaves.)
(She goes into the freezer to get it herself, and leaves the door open. The waiter from earlier comes by and closes the door.)
Waiter: What?
Waiter: I've got bad news. The Chinese guy left.
Waiter: Ooh...
Rachel: Okay, well you had asked me how long we had known each other, and I said, "Eight years." And the um, waiter came over and cut his tip in half, and umm now here we are.
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
(A waiter walks by carrying appetizers or something on a tray)
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Rachel: So Mon, when are we gonna meet this new secret waiter man?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
WAITER: Oh my God! Someone, he's choking. Is anyone here a doctor?