words in movies
[Scene: A restaurant. Joey is on his date with Phoebe’s friend, Sarah. They are sitting opposite each other on a table for two. Their waiter approaches with two plates.]
Waiter: A garden salad for the lady (sets the plate down)
Waiter: Seafood platter for the gentleman and extra fries. Enjoy!
(The waiter arrives with their deserts)
Waiter: Chocolate Torte for the lady, cheesecake for the gentleman.
Waiter: Yes, that's Raspberry coule.
Sarah: (tasting hers) Oh my God! (Looks at the waiter and then to Joey)
Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry sir, that was our last piece.
MNCA: No, no really. I.. I wouldn't feel right about it. [to waiter] Just some water.
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
Monica: The waiter carried the breadsticks in his pants!
Chandler: What's with the word y'all? You know, just... two words just... pushed together... Are we all allowed to do that, because if so, I say why stop there? You know, your new poodle could be your noodle. And fried chicken? Could be fricken.Waiter, waiter excuse me, I'll have the fricken? (Monica laughs) See, that's... that's funny with the fricken, right?
Chandler: You got it. Good woman! (the waiter turns around, it's a man) Could we get a bottle of your most overpriced champagne?
[Scene: Delmonico's restaurant. Ross and Joey are sitting at a table for four. The waiter is pouring water in their glasses.]
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Chandler: (trying to cover up why his hand is over his heart) One nation, under God. Indivisible with liberty and justice for all. (Laughs.) I remembered it. (Its a butchered version of the Pledge of Allegiance of the United States for our foreign friends.) The champagne is here. (The waiter is delivering it and pouring two glasses.)
Waiter: Estrangement (?).
Joey: Thank you. (stands up and kisses her lips.) Waiter! �lright, this is gonna be fast, so try to keep up: Risotto with the shaped truffles and the roasted rip steak with the golden Chanterelles and a Bordelaise sauce and that any that stuff I just said means snails. (Hope, *I* kept up.)
[Scene: Delmonico's. Ross is still waiting for his date and drinking wine. The waiter comes up to him again.]
The Waiter: No, its really good.
Waiter: Right. We do have a table for two available, perhaps you would be more comfortable.
Waiter in Drag: (To Chandler) Hm-mmm?
WAITER: Are we ready to order?
Waiter: Uh, there's a drunk Chinese guy.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Waiter: I�ll just wait to put your order in.
[Scene: A restaurant, Joey and Rachel are still hugging as a waiter walks by the table to talk to the annoying waiter from before who is watching.]
The Waiter: Because we can remember them.
Phoebe: Joseph! (to waiter) Thou needn�t worry, they shan�t be long.
Joey: (stopping the waiter) Hey hey hey! Don't mind if I do!
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Waiter: This is why I told the manager I wouldnt wait on you tonight! (Runs off.)
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
(A waiter comes over for the stolen chicken. Ursula turns to him.)
WAITER: Well, when you do, just let me know. I'll be right over there on the edge of my seat.
The Waiter: Well thats not true.
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
WAITER: And for the gentleman?
WAITER: Anything else?
WAITER: And for you?
WAITER: So, would you like any dessert?
WAITER: Do I dare ask?
WAITER: You'd think, wouldn't you? Miss?
[The waiter comes to the table.]
Phoebe: Oh Joey, weve heard the specials three times! Okay? Theres prime rib, mahi mahi, and a very special lobster ravioli. (She grabs his menu and hands it to the waiter.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Joey: Uh, waiter, one more plate of chicken wings over here.
Waiter: Just get out of here, okay?
Waiter: I'm sorry sir, these are for the pharmaceutical convention (walks away)
(Meanwhile, another waiter has come up to the first waiter.)
Phoebe: (the waiter puts a piece of cake on the table) I would love it. Consider it forgotten... But just so you know... however and whenever you decide to propose, I promise I'll say yes. Whether... whether, you know, it is in a basketball game, or in sky writing, or you know, like some lame guy in a cheesy movie who hides it in the cake.
Waiter: You can�t order until your entire party has arrived. Restaurant policy.
Joey: (Looking up at the waiter)Thats not food...No, I dont, no...(Taps Chandler on the shoulder.) Everything's different here...I want to go home. I...I miss my family. I miss the coffee house. I cant even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Joey: But it happens? (waiter leaves) I�m gotta go to the bathroom.
Joey: (returned) No, no, it�s okay, I already told the waiter what they want.
MNCA: [grabs waiter as he's leaving] I'd like a scotch on the rocks with a twist.
WAITER: (whispers) And what will that be on the side of?
The Waiter: No.
The Waiter: Well, sure, that too.
The Waiter: Cant hear you!
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
The Waiter: Actually were out of the lobster ravioli. (Putting Joeys menu under his arm.)
Lorraine: (to waiter) Uh, can we have three chocolate mousses to go please?
Joey: (to the waiter) What are you still doin here?! I told you, lobster ravioli!
WAITER: Can I get you something from the bar?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Rachel: (Gasps) That cute waiter guy from your restaurant, the one that looks like a non-threatening Ray Liotta?
The Waiter: You found that handle, did ya?
Waiter: Goat cheese, water chestnuts, and panchetta. (Joey Looks down disgustingly at the food.)
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Waiter No. 2: God, youre gonna be here all night!
Waiter: Sure. Sure. (Turns away, then turns back) Seconds up! (Joey glares at him.) Not that kind of table. (He walks away.)
[Scene: Iridium Restaurant, Phoebe and Joey are looking at the menus as the waiter comes to take their order.]
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Customer: Hey, waiter.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: I know! I havent even read them the specials yet!
A Waiter in Drag: (to Chandler and Monica) Has someone taken your order yet?
The Waiter: Okay.
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
The Waiter: (To Joey) And for you sir?
The Waiter: Hey!
The Waiter: Are you guys ready?
The Waiter: Hey! He has a name, its Dragon. Do you wanna know your name? Check your hat. (to another waiter) We did the hat right? (The other waiter nods yes.)
The Waiter: (returning) Any progress?
Chandler: (to a waiter) Oh thats great! Right there! Can we get some of that over here please? (The waiter comes over) There we go.
Kristen: You said the waiter ate my crab cake.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
A Waiter: (entering) Hey, dragon! Heres your tips from Monday and Tuesday. (hands him two envelopes)
Rachel: Oh, yeah. And uh, the best part though, when the uh, waiter spilled water down my back, I jumped up, and my boob popped out.
Waiter: Champagne?
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: Can we have our drinks please?! WaiterUh, tress!
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Ross: (imitating Parker) This room! This night! That waiter! His shoes! I must take a mental picture! (He backs into someone.) Ooh sorry (He looks behind him then notices its Phoebe then stops his impression.)
(Ross sees the waiter looking at him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Waiter: (interrupting) Your 74 Lafite sir.
Waiter No. 2: Whats the matter with them?
(A waiter runs over interrupting Joey.)
Waiter No. 2: Is this your table?
Waiter: Yeah.
Joey: (to the waiter) Hey! Are those crab cakes? (The waiter nods) Did I not tell ya to come straight to me when more crab cakes were ready?
Waiter: Hello.
Joey: Its kind of embarrassing, yknow. I mean, I was an actor and now Im a waiter. Its supposed to go in the other direction.
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)