words in movies
Chandler: (To Monica) Shes not as pretty as she was when she was 29.
Phoebe: I did it! One mile on a hippity-hop! Thats it!! Thats everything I wanted to do before I was thirty. Oh, except I wanted to patch things up with my sister. But oh well. Yay!! (They all cheer again.) And-and girls this thing is a Godsend if you know what I mean. (Rachel and Monica look intrigued and as they all head into Central Perk, Rachel picks up the hippity-hop that Phoebe left behind.)
Rachel: Thirty. Ugh, I mean thirty! Monica, do you remember mean, old Mrs. Kreeger in the fifth grade? She was thirty!
Ross: Hey! That was a practical purchase! I needed that car for transportation! Okay? I-I have a child!
Mr. Geller: Its older than that. Ross was actually conceived right near this tuxedo.
Monica: Nooo! (Giggles) Okay. (She tries to pull herself up by Rachel and Joeys doorknob, but the door opens and she almost falls into the their apartment. She manages to catch herself.) Whoa! (Stands up, unsteadily) Okay. See I was, I was a little nervous about turning (whispering) thirty. (Giggles.) So the bus boys took me out for some drinks. (Pause) I wanna puke on you later!
Chandler: No-no-no-no! That was the joke!
Monica: All you had to do was buy the card!
Rachel: Okay! Yknow what? I realized it was stupid to get upset about not having a husband and kids. All I really needed was a plan. See I wanna have three kids
Rachel: As I was saying I should probably have the first of the three kids by the time Im 35 which gives me five years. I love this plan! I wanna marry this plan!
Phoebe: Plus, it totally ruined my schedule! I I havent done any of the things I wanted to do by the time I was 31!
Rachel: Well said. And a uh good example of the fun I was referring to uhh, but I just think Im past the point where I think I can yknow, just have fun.
Rachel: Oh God! Yknow what I wish? I wish you were six years older. Well actually, if Im wishin for stuff, I actually wish I was six years younger.
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Ross: I dont care about your dad! I care about Mona! She was there and now shes totally freaked out!
Mr. Bowmont: I was actually relieved uh I didnt win the boat. My wife wouldve killed me.
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Joey: (a little giddy) Uh, was that good for you?
Rachel: This was such a huge mistake. I cant tell him Phoebe. I cant, I cant, I cant, I cant
Ross: Well, I-I want to give her another chance, yknow? She lives so close. And, at the end of the date, the other time, she-she said something that wasif she was kidding was very funny. On the other hand, if she wasnt kidding, shes not fun, shes stupid, and kind of a racist.
Ross: Eh, if it was meant to be, it's meant to be.
Man At The Wedding: But there was no flash.
Chandler: I was being Shelly Winters from The Poseidon Adventure.
Ross: That word was swans.
Phoebe: Yeah, that was Leslie calling again to see if we can get back together. Thats the twentieth time today! And good luck Leslie!
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Chandler: Big picture please! So I was in the gift shop, and thats when I uh, saw this. (He holds up a little, tiny baby jumper that reads I (heart) New York.) Yeah, yknow what? I thought anything that can fit into this, cant be scary.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Chandler: It was pretty simple actually, I came up with a couple of cost-cutting solutions, wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
Chandler: Oh, yknow-yknow what, I was looking at it upside down.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Joey: Boy, it was so hard not to laugh, I tell ya. Hey, hey, the place looks great!
Joey: All right, youre probably not gonna want to hear this but ah, if it was me, and this is just me, (Chandler gets ready to throw another dart) I would ah, I would bow out.
Monica: Well, I was thinking, that you gave the guys such great haircuts, I thought, maybe you'd like to do mine?
Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage, and its positive. Monicas pregnant. (Rachel covers her mouth.) So I guess she wont be totally alone.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
(Ross grunts something and hands her the pen he was trying to hand her.)
Doug: Bing! (Chandler stands bolt upright and turns around to face him.) Read your Computech proposal, a real homerun. (He goes to slap his butt, but Chandler slides over making him miss.) Ooh. Barely got ya that time, get over here. Come on. (Chandler goes over) Wham! (slaps him on the butt) Good one. That was a good one. (to a couple of Chandlers co-workers) Keep at it team. (goes into his office)
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Monica: And then Chandler was, was really sweet and he consoled me. And well we drank too much
Melissa: Oh, I was gonna talk to him about doing something tonight.
MONICA: Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. [one of the guest opens the refrigerator] Hey, hey, hey, get in line buddy, I was next. [she opens the refrigerator and leans into it]
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
CHANDLER: I didn't know it was a big secret.
Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer, then I was shunned.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, I was just doing the dishes!
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Bonnie: Oh, the water was sooo great! We jumped off this pier and my suit came off.
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Was that another joke?
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Phoebe: (hides her mouth behind the cup and speaks in the "pigeon voice" from before) Coo, again. Don't blame the pretty lady. It was not her fault. It was me, the pigeon, coo! (pause) Seriously, stop staring at her.
PHOE: Well, I finally took your advice and asked him what was going on.
Video:April Twelve, Eighteen hundred, Sixty-One (Monica lights Richard's cigar butt), 4:30 A.M. on Tuesday, the United States garrison at Fort Sumter was fired upon (knock on door) it is now under bombardment by....
Chandler: Oh well, this was a really important experience for me, and I wanted to share it with you.
Phoebe: Oh, look at these! Hey, Ben. Just do it. (Ben starts to cry) Oh my God, oh, ok, was that too much pressure for him?
Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, you know I'm i'm really glad you came to talk to me the other day and I hope I was a little helpful.
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Chandler: Yeah that was great. That was really great! But to tell you the truth, I'm more excited about where we are right now.
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, are you in England? Was Emily surprised?
Monica: Oh my God, Mike was gonna propose?
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
JOEY: Yeah, that was a tricky one. In reality, that operation takes like, over 10 hours, but they only showed it for 2 minites.
Ross: Oh. (He takes the notepad she was using and looks at it.) Wow! (Flips to another page.) Huh. (Flips another page.) Boy! (Flips another page.) Well, someones been doing their homework. (Flips two more pages.)
Rachel: (gasps) Oh! Oh my God! I thought she was on Atkins.
Rachel: Yes, I did. Thank you very much, it was excellent. (Disembarks)
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Phoebe: Oh yeahNo, she was really nice to me, but shes in hell for sure.
Monica: (entering, carrying a newspaper) Hey Ross! So, I was checking out the uh, real estate section
Joey: All right, thats it. Y'know I was still gonna let you have her. But now, forget about it. Prepare to feel very bad about yourself.
Joey: You got it. Thanks man. Thanks for doing this, I owe you one. (Joey leaves, comes back in.) Oh, hey! There wasn't any change from that twenty, was there?
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Phoebe: Yeah. See, that money was for a big wedding, that we thought we didn’t want, but it turns out we do.
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Rachel: You told this guy that I was looking for a fling?! You dont tell the guy that!
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Rachel: What?! She just called and said that she was gonna be working late! She keeps lying to me! That's it! Y'know what? I'm just gonna go over there and confront them right now!
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Ross: I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
PHOEBE: I know, I know, and I was gonna get it but then he came in with this needle and uh, di-, did you know they do this with needles?
Joey: There was chocolate on the three. It looked like an eight, alright?
Ross: Actually, um, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Chandler: Joey, there was a little girl who lived here, but she died like 30 years ago.
Rachel: (voice wavers) Oh, but he was my pig man...how did I not see this?
Chandler: Do you know what I was thinkin?
Monica: Let me think. Oh, when I was younger I used to dream that I got married to Mayor McCheese, and on our wedding night I ate his head.
Phoebe: Hey Mon? Was it weird changing your name to Geller-Bing?
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
CHANDLER: Maybe 'cause the last one was made by Pepperidge Farm. Look Eddie, isn't there something else you're supposed to be doing right now?
Ross: Sure. Once, at work I-I thought carbon dating was fossilized
Rachel: Oh my God! I was so afraid I wasn't gonna remember any of my high-school French, but I understood every word you just said!
Monica: Right. Umm, listen since were-we-re on that subject, umm, I just wanted to tell you that uh, well, I-I was going through a really hard time in London, what with my brother getting married and that guy thinking I was Rosss mother
Tag: No! It was marked confidential I just sent it down to Human Resources.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...
(He starts. And well, Celebration was never meant to be played on the bagpipe, so even the best bag pipe players in the world would have trouble with that particular song. So of course, for a beginner like Ross, it sounds absolutely dreadful. The assembled audience minus Phoebe, are horrified. Phoebe, immune to bad music, seems to enjoy it.)
Joey: No, no, no, no, that was - that was just for me. Are you sure about this?
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Erica: Oh, sure. Yeah, well, he was my high school boyfriend. Captain of the football team, really cute and he got a scholarship and went off to college. (Monica and Chandler are smiling from ear to ear)