words in movies
Monica: Its a dead dog. Thats Chi-Chi; she died when I was in high school.
Parker: Maaaassapequa, sounds like a magical place. Tell me about Massapequa, is it steep in Native American history? {Transcribers Note: Interestingly Alec Baldwin was born in Massapequa.}
Ross: What was wrong with Mona?
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Rachel: But it was beautiful. I mean it was small, but kind of spectacular.
Rachel: And my veil was lace, made by blind, Belgium nuns.
Rachel: Well, not at first, but it was very intricate work and they said even though they lost their sight, it was all worth it.
Rachel: And the ring, was the size of my fist (makes a fist)!
Joey: I know Im having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, and when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Ross: Yknow I dont understand why they didnt cry. It was a beautiful speech.
Ross: Hey! All that stuff you said about true love, you were right, I mean, we did learn a lot from Mom and Dad! And that picture of Chi-Chi with her mischievous grin. And what you said about Nana. Ohh, yeah she really wouldve wanted to be there. And you know what? I think she was.
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Joey: That was one good minute!
CHANDLER: I was looking forward to playing basketball, but I guess that's out the window.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Rachel: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Chandler: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Chandler: She was not good. Not good.
Ross: She was...
Chandler: Well, yeah, but y'know, what-what if I was wrong?
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
RACHEL: I just can't believe this is happening. I mean, when I was little, everybody's parents were getting divorced. I just figured as a grownup I wouldn't have to worry about this.
Ross: No, I ran. It was really far, and when did people stop understanding the phrase, "Get the hell out of my way!"
Ross: So listen uh, I know you and I havent really had a chance to talk since uh, Emily and I decided to get married, and uh, I was just wondering how you were.
Guy: I just, I want you to know I didn't used to be like this. Before I meet your sister I was like this normal guy who sold beepers and cellular phones.
Ross: Yknow what? I think I can take care of myself, Ill talk to you later. Good-bye. (Hangs up the phone and turns to find Jill sitting really close to him.) Whoa! Uh, that was your sister actually. She-she thinks that youre just using me.
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Phoebe: Oh wait! That can't be the one Rachel's talking about. She didn't even know that happened. So which one was it?
Ross: Uhh, it was fun. We, we just had coffee.
Ross: Although I was married to her.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Monica: Myself. Yknow for remembering to pack a thing. Yeah, you do a good thing, you get a check! (pause) My mom does it, I never realized it was weird.
Ross: The most amazing thing happened tonight. I thought my number was up. I had an actual near death experience!
Monica: Hi.. how was the game?
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Ross: Y'see, that's where you're wrong. Why would I marry her if I thought on any level thatthat she was a lesbian?
Chandler: Thats Thats was
Ross: (to the second girl) That was very nice Ashley.
Rachel: Oh. Oh. Well there you go. Whew! (Pause) That isthats greatthat is really great-great news. (Pause) Yknow cause the whole not being ready and kinda the financial aspects, all that. Whew. Wow, this is so just the way it was supposed to be. (Starts to cry.) God.
Ross: No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was
David: The good thing about the young kids though, theyre completely unpredictable. Which is a lot of fun as an actor to respond with. But there was one story
Ross: Well, I was gonna say sweet, but yeah-huh!
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Ross: (turning around.) Umm, uh, I was just telling the guys
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Monica: (At a loss for words) Boy, that was-that was, umm terrific.
Chandler: Oh, then I'll tell you. My agency was bidding for a big account and they got it! It's my first national commercial!
Rachel: Oh, I found him. He was Paolo's cat.
RICHARD: Ooh, then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for. Ok, I am going to take a shower and today I will be singing Jim Crochee's Leroy Brown.
Emily: What was all that about?
Chandler: What we did last night was....
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Phoebe: Oh God, Im so glad you guys are happy, I was so afraid you were going to be all freaked.
Rachel: I didnt have to, because I was wearing my I heart Ross sandwich board and ringing my bell.
Rachel: God, isn't this exciting? I earned this. I wiped tables for it, I steamed milk for it, and it was totally(opens envelope)not worth it. Who's FICA? Why's he getting all my money? I mean, what- Chandler, look at that.
Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?
JOEY: That was a good one. For a second there, I was like, "whoa."
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Chandler: Oh, yes. Well its very beautiful. Its cream-colored and tight [Realizes what he just said and looks worried. Monica and Ross also looked shocked. Judy and Jack give Chandler a very dirty look.] I dont mean tight, I mean its not too tight, not that I was looking at-[giving up all hope, he puts his head into his hands.]
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Ross: Just a sandwich? Look, I am 30 years old, I'm about to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! Someone ate the only good thing going on in my life!
Rachel: Now, that-that was a good thing that I told you, right?
Ross: There was one! She's it! All the rest look like they should live under a bridge!
Rachel: (laughs) Oh my God. Can you imagine if there was?! I mean, (getting serious) what would happen exactly.
Rachel: (entering from her room) Pheebs, I was wondering
Joey: That was good beer.
Monica: I guess Joey was right, it does nothing.
Ross: I was kinda, supposed to be on TV tonight for The Discovery Channel.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Monica: Okay, I'd like to know how much the room was because I'd like to pay my half.
MONICA: Huuh, alright, Danny Arshak, ninth grade. Oh, c'mon Rach, you know the bottle was totally pointing at me.
Ross: I was hugging her as a friend. Its not my fault her-her hair got in my face, shes got a lot of it and it smells all-all uh coconutty. (Phoebe raises her eyebrows.) What?! Oh, that doesnt mean I have feelings for Rachel! Maybe it means I have feelings for coconuts!
Ross: And if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I!
Joey: (To Rachel) Its like me when I was born.
Phoebe: No idea! I though he was soft like you!
Ross: (to the girls) Chandler was how old when he first touched a girl’s breast?
Mike: Because I was told I'd get a free dinner, which I didn't. And that I'd meet a pretty girl. Which I did.
David: Sorry, I just... I wish there was something I could do, you know? Well, you know Phoebe...
Phoebe: Oh, how was last night with Julio, senorita?
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Ross: Monica couldnt tell time til she was 13!
Rachel: Well yknow I was just in the neighborhood and I passed by your building and I thought to myself, "Whats up with Carol and sweet, little Ben?"
Monica: Yes, it was!
Rachel: No, it wasn't. It was actually the
Rachel: Well uh, his answering machine was very understanding. Ugh. I feel blue.
Joey: An-an-anyway I-I just wanted to say that since Im getting your brain when you leave the show, I was wondering if there was any tips you can give me
Phoebe: Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday and I thought about it a lot and, and I know, I was too impatient. SO lets try it again.
Joey: Noooo, that's what I was wearing when I donated. I'm kinda surprised there's any of my boys left.
Joey: And I think he would tell you it was a mistake.
Joey: How was your conference?
Rachel: I dont know, let me think. I was walking down the street thinking, Im gonna tell the father today and then bam!
Chandler: Yes that was mine.
Joey: Hey, how was your chef thing?
Ross: (happily again) You were worried about me? You didn't know how I was going to react? (He hugs them both.)
Monica: That's different! I was drunk and stupid!
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible, that would be the best.
Phoebe: I know! I know, I opened it up and there it was, just floating in there, like this tiny little hitch-hiker!
Rachel: Okay, well this is all very impressive Hilda, um I just have one last question for you. Uh, how did I do? Was this okay?
Phoebe: Cliff, do you really believe that a character from a TV show was here in your room?
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: Wow! That Mike thing was interesting! I don't know what's gonna happen with Phoebe and David.
Chandler: I will tell the story! It was going great. I let him win. We were bonding. He even said I could call him dad.
RICHARD: Uh, the guy was Lou Gehrig. Didn't you kinda see it coming?
[There was no closing scene, only a preview of the wedding.]