words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Chandler: What a wank!
Joey: Guess what?
Ross: What?
Monica: Whats the part?
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: You bet! Whats the part?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Phoebe: Its Monicas bed. What?
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Rachel: What?!
Dr. Green: Ross? Whats with the neck?
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Rachel: What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
Chandler: (sedated) What?
Phoebe: What do you mean?
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Chandler: What are you doin'?
CHANDLER: I don't know what to say. I'm sorry that we make more money than you. But we're not gonna feel guilty about it. We work really hard for it.
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Monica: Really? If that's what you want...
Rachel: What are you doing?
Monica: What are you doing?
Rachel: What about all the women you want to bring home?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Monica: (To Mike) What are you doing here?
Ross: No, its Its not that. Umm, now what Im going to say to you, Im not saying as your friend. Okay? Im-Im saying as it as Monicas older brother.
Phoebe: What?
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Ross: Cause I know what youre trying to pull here. Okay? Its not gonna work.
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
Ross: Whats the matter? You okay?
Monica: And what else is it not?
Monica: Oh my God, what a fun day! That sounds great!
Phoebe: Yeah! What have you got to lose? Yknow you might even end up with someone really special (whispers) if you pick my guy.
Ross: Oh, veto. How aboutOoh, I like Ruth! What about Ruth?
Phoebe Sr: I mean, I know what Im talking about. I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life. So, how ever hard it is to give up this puppy, it would be like a million times harder to give up a child. (Phoebe is playing with the puppy again, and not listening) I really shouldnt have given you the puppy first.
CHANDLER: No-no, I mean what, what's this about your new place?
Dr. Green: I have no idea, I went to the bathroom. So sweetie, you were starting to tell me what is uh, what is new with you.
Director: You know what. I think this audition is over. (Joey looks disappointed, but understands.)
Rachel: Well, well, well, look what mommy found!!
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
Ross: Oh my God, you guys!! (Hes excited about what he thought happened.)
Rachel: What? What kind of a regatta gala starts at night?!
Chandler: So what does this mean?
Phoebe: Hey Monica, what about your extra tickets?
Chandler: (To Monica) Wow! Listen, we had a good run. What was it? Four? Five months? I mean, that's more than most people have in a lifetime! So, good-bye, take care, bye-bye then! (He kisses her and starts to climb out the balcony window.)
Rachel: Ok, Pheebs, you know what, if we had that, we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.
Joey: And what did she say?
Vince: (running over) Whoa! Hey-hey! Whats going on here? Who is this guy?
Chandler: Really? What?
Rachel: What?
Monica: You know what? You can have mine.
Rachel: So Pheebs, what are you going to do with your $3?
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa, what are we going to do about my job?
Chandler: (getting up to investigate) Okay, everybody stay here. I will find out whats going on.
Ross: Phoebe, what happened?
Phoebe: No not you, Dr. Drake Remoray. You can ask him questions and see whats he like. People tell doctors everything.
Joey: Oh, it was great! I mean we walked all around the village. We went to this ice cream place, split a milkshake, 70/30 but still And guess what, Im thinking about taking her upstate to one of those bed and breakfasts.
Rachel: Y'know what else is really great about him, oh, what is the word for the adult that doesn't have dinosaur toys in their bedroom?
Joey: What? I'm not allowed to know smart women?
Tag: I feel great. (Rachel laughs) In fact! (Walks over to her desk, sweeps its contents onto the floor and Rachel just glares at him.) What?
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
Monica: What musician?
Monica: What are you doing here!
Phoebe: But what?
Chandler: Honey, the tortilla chips know what you mean.
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Receptionist: I don't know what to say.
Danny: (seeing Rachel's shocked look) What?
Phoebe: Hey, guys, you know what Larry would say? He would say, "See you ladle." (Laughs.)
Chandler: All right, I'll tell ya what, the next time you ask me a question like that I'll lie.
Joey: What?
Ross: What did you get?
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Joey: Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
Monica: What do you think brought than on?
Joey: Oh, yeah, with the mug painting. Yeah. I was so listening to that. But ah, y'know what, I think I kinda need to work on my stuff tonight.
Joey: Yknow what? Why dont you just give us our souvenirs and get the hell out of here?
Chandler: No, but waitwhat if I bought it from you, yknow? And your nice gesture would be giving it to me at a reasonable price, say (Gets choked up) $1,500?
Chandler: What?
JOEY: Ohh, you know what it is? It's smudgy 'cause they're fax pages. Now when I was on Days of Our Lives as Dr. Drake Remoray, they'd send over the whole script on real paper and everything.
Joey: What?
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Ross: This is crazy. I mean, six years? And because of me you guys aren't gonna be together? Can I ask you something? Really, what is this thing with you and Rachel?
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Phoebe: What is it?
Ross: What? How come that you don't have to go!
Monica: What the hell are you cooking!
Ross: Hey, you guys won't believe what I have to do for work today.
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Monica: I don't know what else to say.
Rachel: You are not going to believe it! Joshua came into work today, and guess what happened?
Ross: What?
Ross: Okay! (Walks away from him.) Umm, I uh, Im your teacher. Im sorry, youre-youre a student and I-and I like women. In spite of what may be written on the backs of some of these chairs.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Rachel: What? Yes, I am!
Monica: Ok, what is this?
Phoebe: Oh hey Mon? Rach is here! Ohh, youre still pregnant. Oh, Im sorry. I know how uncomfortable you are. Yknow what? You look great. Yeah, like fifty bucks.
Joey: What party?
MONICA: My stock, MEG, it went up 2 points. Hey guys, do you realize that if I had invested my $127 in myself yesterday that I'd like have...a lot more than that today. Ya know what, I'm gonna do it.
Joey: (sticking his head out the door) What are you guys woofing about?
Phoebe: Oh! Well, what kind of emergency that gets us both out of here?
Monica: So this is what a stroke feels like.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home.
Ross: What? (turns around to look at Rachel)
Chandler: Ahh, you know what? That is....Who wouldnt want you?
Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on?