words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy? I love Rachel. I wish she was my wife.
Chandler: What a wank!
Joey: Guess what?
Ross: What?
Monica: Whats the part?
Joey: Oh, and guess what, I got an audition for All My Children.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, hey Nick the boxer lets see what you got. All right ya, put em up. Come on. (they start shadow boxing)
Dr. Green: This where they put it? What, there no table available in the kitchen! Hello, baby.
Dr. Green: What happened to the library?
Dr. Green: You know whats really good here, the lobster. What do you say shall I just order three.
Dr. Green: What kind of person is allergic to lobster? I guess the kind of person that works at a library.
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Dr. Green: (gets his receipt and notices the twenty) What is this? Who put a twenty down here? Huh?
Dr. Green: This is nice. I pay two hundred dollars for dinner, you put down twenty, and you come out looking like Mr. Big Shot. You really want to be Mr. Big Shot? Here, Ill tell you what, you pay the whole bill, Mr. Big Shot, all right. (rips up the bill, and throws it at Ross, then leaves)
Student: Guess what, I got an audition!
Joey: You bet! Whats the part?
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Monica: (sees the bed) Whats this?
Phoebe: When I was you! Y'know what, its all Joeys fault, cause he left his nose open!
Phoebe: Its Monicas bed. What?
Phoebe: So. This has always been Monicas bed, what youre just noticing now, how self-involved are you?
Dr. Green: Nice hair. Whatd ya do? Swim here?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Rachel: What?!
Dr. Green: Ross? Whats with the neck?
Ross: Thank you! Thats what I keep saying.
Dr. Green: What do you need help for?
Rachel: What? Its true, my right leg is two inches shorter.
Ross: What can I do, she doesnt listen to me about renters insurance either.
Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run after him with one leg shorter than the other?!
JOEY: Do what?
RACHEL: Ohh, what is in that?
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
ROSS: What?
Joey: So what? Being funny is Chandler's thing... You know, like Ross's thing is... (he can't come up with anything)
JOEY: That's what it says.
ROSS: No no no, I mean, hey, why shouldn't I be happy for you? What would it say about me if I couldn't revel in your joy? I'm revelling baby, believe me!
Ursula: Yea-huh! Thats what is says on my birth certificate.
RACHEL: For what?
Rachel: No, no dont get mad because lookthis is what happened. So I-I started packing, then I realized, "What am I doing? I am lousy at packing!" Right? But you love packing! So, as a gift to you, on our last night, ta-da!
RACHEL: What?
Chandler: Hello? Hello? Oh, hey Charlie. Did anybody else hear? ... What? Susan got it?? How? Oh man, I would have slept with him!! .. Alright, bye. (hangs up)
Rachel: (startled) Ahh, hi! Hi! Melissa, whats up? Im just uh, about to umm, go out to the store to get some stuff to put in my backpack. Yknow, like dried fruit and granola and stuff. Whats up? (She has put on the backpack.)
Mr. Franklin: What do you think of adding him to our team?
PHOEBE: I don't know what to do with that.
Ross: Hey, whatd you guys do to get up on there?
Phoebe: Oh yknow whats sadder than this? Bambi. I cried for three days with that movie. No wait two! Because on the third day my mother killed herself so I was partly crying for that.
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Monica: Honey, what is the Bruce Springsteen CD in the Kat Stevens case?
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
MONICA: What?
Chandler: Uh, what about yknow the massage thing? That never gave you a heart attack.
Ross: I don't think that's what this is.
Phoebe: Would you relax? I know what I am doing. This is how he wears it.
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
MR. GELLER: What? I'm kidding. You know I'd never let him touch the Porsche.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
ROSS: What?
RACHEL: What?
Joey: Well, what am I gonna do Rach?! I dont have that kind of money!
RACHEL: What?
GUNTHER: What?
Rachel: Look, I know what's going on here, okay, Mark explained it all to me. He said this is what you guys do.
Ross: Woha! Wait... What are we doing? What we have is too important to mess it up over some girl. I mean, we can get laid anytime we want.
Joey: What the hell is in there?
Rachel: Uh-huh. No, I hear what youre saying and-and-and that makes a lot of sense but can I just say one more thing? (Takes out his picture.) Look how pretty!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Mrs. Green is telling Ross what needs to be done to baby proof his apartment.]
Rachel: Of course I packed! Monica relax! I just wanted to ask Phoebe her opinion on what I should wear tonight.
Ross: What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap outta me.
Phoebe: I wouldn't say never, you know there's that guy (pause) well what about (pause) ok well there's gotta be someone.
Ross: Oh, I know. Yknow what, I never wouldve gotten this if it werent for you. No really, when Im with you Im-Im like this whole other guy, I love that guy! I mean, I love you too, a lot, but that guy! I-I love that guy!
Rachel: (entering from her room) Whoa what?
JOEY: Oh no, what happened?
Ross: Alright, you know what? You're right. I should at least tell her how I feel.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
ROSS: Wow, well uh, uh, actually, Julie's downstairs getting a cab, I just need the cat toy, did Monica say. . . What? Why, why are you looking at me like that? RACH: I don't know, I, I feel like I had a dream about you last night but I, I don't remember. ROSS: OK. Oh, oh, oh. [runs over and picks up the cat toy] RACH: Did we speak on the phone last night? Did you call me? ROSS: No, I stayed at Julie's last night. RACH: Huh. ROSS: Oh, actually I haven't even been home yet. Do you mind if I check my messages? RACH: Oh yeah, go ahead. [Rachel walks in her room. Ross picks up the phone and dials his machine to check his messages.] ROSS: Rach, I got a message from you. [pauses] Who's Michael? [Rachel comes out of her room, suddenly she remembers leaving the message.]
Ross: Of course he is! What, do you think Id just use my son as-as an excuse? What kind of father do you think I am?
Rachel: No, you know what, I think you should go.
Phoebe: What make you think I can?! (Shields her eyes from it.)
Ross: ...nauseous, I'm physically nauseous. What am I supposed to do, huh? Call immigration? (pauses, looks suddenly inspired) I could call immigration!
Phoebe: (laughing and banging her spoon on the table) Knock, knock, knock, knock, hi. Um, could you please tell Sergei that um, I was fascinated by what Boutros Boutros Gali said in the New York Times.
Ross: I don't know, but I.. Look, even if she shoots me down, at least I won't spend the rest of my life wondering what would have happened. Where - where is my coat?!
Ross: Really?! So what would you say Pheebs? Stuff like uh, "Keep your mitts off my grub?"
Joey: Ha-ha, very funny. I dont know what to do! Yknow? Holy crud!
Chandler: Well, what? What? What is it? That she left you? That she likes women? That she left you for another woman that likes women?
Friend No. 1: My God, what were you thinking about?
PHOEBE: What?
Phoebe: Okay, what did we say was your one gift to us?
Rachel: Uh, no. Wait, you know what, this is the outfit that makes my calves look fat. Nevermind.
Ross: I didnt know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didnt finish the whole letter!
Rachel: Well, what are you going to wear?
Ross: What are you reading? The Kidnappers Guide to Manhattan Private Schools?
Rachel: Oh, see now I feel bad for the kid! I had a crush on a teacher once and it was so hard! Yknow youI couldnt concentrate and I blushed every time he looked at me. I mean come on, you remember whats its like to be 19 and in love.
Chandler: What does yours say Pheebs?
Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.)
Rachel: Pheebs, I dont know what to say. I guess the flea market was just better last time.
MONICA: Yeah, thanks. You know what?
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
CHANDLER: Alright I'll tell you what, I'll play you for it.
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Rachel: (To Phoebe) Ooh! Yknow what? If we made reservations, we could have unagi in about a half-hour.
ROSS: Wha, uhh, what?
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
RACHEL: What?!
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
CHANDLER: What?
ALL: What?!
Ross: What? Come on Rach, tell me what youre thinking?
RACHEL: What.
Mrs. Geller: I'm not sure I know what you're getting at.
Ross: (to Joey) So? What do you think? (Shows himself - Joey observes him with a strange look on his face.)
Rachel: Monica, yknow what? The only reason I did that was because your party was so boring!
MONICA: You'll do what?
Chandler: Okay, so what name am I cool enough to pull off?
Monica: Didnt it drive you crazy to have a switch and not know what it did?
Mrs. Bing: I am famished. What do I want... (Looks at Chandler's menu)
Rachel: What?!
Monica: What is it? Is there something fundamentally unmarriable about me?
Monica: What are you the memory woman?
Ross: What?
Rachel: Ross, you know what...
Ross: What?
Rachel: Well honey, what about you?
Ross: Guess what?
Rachel: What?
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
ROSS: All righty roo. [closes the door] What a great moment to say that for the first time. [goes to get the cigarettes and glasses]
Monica: Yeah? What does she think of your little science project?