words in movies
PHOEBE: OK. I just met this producer of this like, teeny record company, who said that I have a very fresh, offbeat sound and she wants to do a demo of Smelly Cat.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers start singing smelly, smelly, smelly, smelly behind her] Oh woah, oh my God. I mean like, who was that?
MONICA: I can't believe he has a new roommate. Who is this guy?
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
PHOEBE: Well, I can't work with people who would do this.
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Rachel: I am jealous of her?! I mean who does she think she is?! Princess Caroline?!
[The next flashback is from The One After The Superbowl, Part II. Monica and Rachel are fighting over who gets to see Jean-Claude Van Damme.]
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Phoebe: Hey, I never got to hear who you guys would pick to be your girlfriend.
Phoebe: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yes, Im the one who found your phone.
Joey: Says who? Your mom?
Monica: Oh. (turns and looks at Joey, who gives a way-to-go thumbs up and smile.)
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Chandler: Hey! I will have you know that... aah, who am I kidding. Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
Rachel: (coming over to Ross, who is just getting up) Are you okay?
[Scene: Ross and Rachel's hotel room, Rachel is still trying to get the ink off and Ross is on the phone to the company. Wait a minute, why exactly are they sharing a hotel room? Didn't they like break-up or something? Did I miss a memo? Or maybe, it's just foreshadowing things to come. Who knows? Maybe the answer's at the bottom of the page. Then again, maybe it isn't and it's just one of those things TV writers just don't explain. Anyhoo ]
(Amy looks at Ross, angrily. Rachel clearly doesn't understand what he meant and looks at Ross who gestures "later".)
Monica: (interrupting her) Okay, now Thanksgiving's over, let's get ready for Christmas. Who wants to go get a Christmas tree?!
Phoebe: Youre thing. Youre thing. Yknow? Youre the guy who gets divorced.
Joey: Thank you! Well, I guess now I know who Im taking to the awards. (Points to Rachel.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Joey: (onscreen) "I thought I knew who the enemy was, but it was you all along."
Phoebe: Yeah, but theres a two-year wait. And then what if you get engaged in two years and then you got to wait another two years for this place. Thats four years. Chandlers not gonna wait that long. Hes gonna find somebody else, yknow? Someone, someone who did put their name on the list. (Rachel agrees.)
Ross: Okay, (gets up) if youll excuse me, I-Im gonna go hang out with some people who dont know the Space Mountain story.
Joey: No idea? Who do you think brought her here?
Leader: Whos next? (goes over and stands behind Ross, whos feverishly writing on his form, and clears her throat to get his attention.)
Chandler: All right, so who do you got it narrowed down to?
TV DOCTOR: You're the only one who can save her Drake.
Phoebe: Yeah, I had a massage client who worked there and-and he said I had a knack for stocks.
Monica: And who pays for that?
Ross: Theres this kid in my class who said hes in love with me.
Phoebe: (gasps) Oh my God! I know who the father is (She walks into Monica and Chandlers.)
Joey: Who?
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Ross: (sets Ben down) Well, it's not for sure but umm, we met this guy in the park who thought Ben was really cute--y'know, which he is--so umm anyhoo, he uh, he gave us his card and told us to bring him down for this commercial he's auditioning.
Chandler: Yeah, but its not who I am. Everything they said was exaclty why I was worried about having a kid. And its true. And look everybody knows it.
Rachel: Ohh, with who?
BEST MAN: No, no, no now in all seriousness, its not a lot of women would've had the guts to come back here tonight, and even fewer, who would do it with their asses hanging out! (da-doom-chesh)
The Hot Girl: I know. You're the guy who wouldn't chip in for the handyman.
RACHEL: Who gave you that hickey?
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Phoebe: Ok, good! (pause) You guys were so scared! There was no way I was gonna dump this...(a pigeon swoops down, scaring Phoebe who drops the bowl on the street) Oh God, no! (pause) I think I broke your bowl.
Monica: (to Ben) Whos so brave, youre so brave, yes you are, youre so brave.
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Rachel: Okay, well you are just gonna have too, okay. Because I already got a Mother and a Father who cannot stay in the same room together, okay, I dont wanna have to have a separate room for you too!! (starts to cry)
Joey: Hey, is this person who decides whether or not you... get a baby?
Ross: Whos that?
Eric: Anyway, I was wondering if, you were the sort of person who eats lunch.
Chandler: Im sorry, who?
Rachel: No, I think its very obvious whos wrong here.
Ross: Hey-hey, its valid okay? And Im not the only one who thinks so, Monica agrees with me.
Chandler: Because then we would be the guys who turned off free porn.
Luisa: You have no idea who I am, do you.
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Frank: (noticing the puppy) Oh, whos this little guy?! (Grabs the puppy)
Joey: (lying on a beach towel, recapping what happened in the last episode) Okay, so we went to the beach, because Phoebe found out about this lady who knew her mom and dad, and I dont really know what happened with that.
Phoebe: Okay. But the question is whos gonna go first. Cause whoever goes second is the bitch.
[Rachel brings a muffin to Chandler and Monica who are sitting on the couch.]
Phoebe: (to Rachel, whos staying in the cab.) Arent you gonna go?
Tag: (interrupting) Uh Mr. Zelner, Im the one who filled in that evaluation.
Ross: (leaning into the recorder as well) Who just lost the respect of her unborn child.
Chandler: Uh then there was that dialect coach who helped you with that play where you needed a southern accent. Which after twenty hours of lessons still came out Jamaican.
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Mr. Geller: Oh yeah, well who serves steak when theres no place to sit, I mean how are you supposed to eat this?
Phoebe: You know who shaved you? That was me.
Phoebe: Shocking! Lets play the game of who can stay quiet the longest. (Giggles)
(All of a sudden, Marcel grabs Ross's finger with his whole fist, and he squeezes it, so tight, that Ross finally knows what it is to be a father. He looks up at his friends, who smile encouragingly, Rachel tenderly resting her chin upon Monica's shoulder. Ross realises that Chandler was right and he's gonna make a great dad!)
Ross: Whos that?
Rachel: (deadpan) Oh look who it is, my husband. The apple of my eye.
Monica: Hey. It's him. (On the intercom) Who is it?
Rachel: What about you honey, who would be on your list?
Chandler: Maybe. Unless they're like two people who have lived in apartments next to each other for years, and then one day they're pushed through a vagina and they meet.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Chandler: Well, thanks. I grow it myself. (Kathy is running her fingers through his hair, and Chandler catches himself enjoying it too much.) Yknow who also has great hair is Joey!
Chandler: See uh, thats-thats actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I-I think I know who the other guy is.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
{Transcribers Note: Elizabeth has two friends in the room with her who are named in the credits, but not in this scene. So Im just gonna guess since it doesnt matter one way or the other. (The last part is to discourage e-mails, who cares if I got it right or not?)}
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just opened the door for Ross who is costumed as an Armadillo. Ben is standing next to her.]
Sarah: The girl who won last year sold four hundred and seventy-five.
Ross: Whos Chip?
Ross: (angrily) Whos your roommate?
Phoebe: Whos singing?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Ross: Monica and I have a grandmother who died, you both went to her funeral, name that grandmother!
Rachel: Oh, c'mon. We'll have, we'll have a big party, and no-one'll know who's with who.
(The rest of the gang runs away, except for Ross whos tramped inside his car. To hide he puts the top up as Monica, Rachel, and Joey come running past.)
Phoebe: Rachel is one of my closest friends. (Pause) Although, being the only one who knows anything about this does makes me feel special. Okay!
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross is taking Ben to visit Rachel whos working there.]
Coma Guy: I feel good! ...Who are you?
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Joey: I don't care, Rach! Look, I am tired of being the guy who knows all the secrets but can't tell anyone!
Chandler: See, it pays to know the man who wears my shoes. (Joey and Ross wonder what he means) Me.
Phoebe: My guy is a lawyer who has volunteer work. And, he has one of these (She squeezes the skin on her chin together to form )
Rachel: Who are you supposed to be?
Ross: Well hey, who did these resumes for ya?
Cheryl: (sneaking up behind Ross) Guess who?
Chandler: Oh, who should I blame? The nice bell man who had to drag out luggage to 10 different rooms?
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?