words in movies
Monica: (entering) Oh good youre all here. Thanksgiving tomorrow, four oclock. (To Rachel) Oh, guess who I invited. Remember that guy Will Colbert from high school?
Monica: No that was Jarred! Wow! I havent thought about him in a long time (Stares off into the distance lost in thought.) (Pause) Anyway, umm Wills, Wills here on business and he didnt have a place to go so I invited him here.
Monica: All right! Okay, its just Phoebe. Wills still on a diet, Chandler doesnt eat Thanksgiving food, and Rachels having her aversion to poultry.
Joey: No there wont! I promise I will finish that turkey!
Will: Hey!
(Oh, I should point out that the live studio audience at this point goes absolutely wild. And I had absolutely no idea that this Will character was that popular! Maybe they should make him the seventh friend. Which would work out just fine since hes already married to one of them. Will is played by some guy named Brad Pitt, I guess hes some sort of actor.)
Will: Happy Thanksgiving!
Monica: Aww thanks! God Will Im so glad that you came! You look great! You mustve lost like
Will: 150 pounds. Yeah, Im gonna be in one of those Subway sandwich commercials.
Monica: A pie! (Will brought a pie.)
Will: Oh right. All right, its no fat, its no sugar, its no dairy its no good. Throw it out.
Monica: You wanna meet some people? This is uh; this is my husband Chandler. Chandler, this is Will.
Will: Hey.
Monica: (to Will) Wanna give me a hand?
Will: Sure! Monica, I cant get over how great you look! You look stunning!
Will: Ross is coming. Great! I love Ross!
Monica: Good. And Rachel Green too. (Will stops suddenly.)
Will: Oh.
Will: Nope. Uh, its okay. Its just uh, God I hated her.
Will: Yeah, I hated her. She was horrible to me in high school. But hey, it was a long time ago, Im in a good place, it might be actually fun to see her again. You got any cakes or cookies or something? (Starts looking.) No Will no!
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
Monica: Will! From high school.
Monica: (to Will) Joey.
Will: Hello.
Ross: (entering) Will!
Will: Ross!
Will: Its good to see you man.
Will: Im a commodities broker.
Will: Yeah, its not. But Im rich and thin.
Will: That was such a fun night!
Will: Yeah.
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Will: So what do you, what do you do now?
Will: (glaring at Rachel) Rachel Green.
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Ross: Will, high school was-was a long time ago.
Will: Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies Ross: Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.
Rachel: (sees Will) Oh my God Monica, who is that?
Monica: Thats Will from high school!
Rachel: Oh! I do not remember him! Wow! He's really got that sexy, smoldering thing going on. (We see Will angrily staring at Rachel.) Oh my God, hes Look at the way hes just staring at me. I think hes trying to mouth something to me, but I cant make it out. (Will mouths, "I hate you.")
(They sit down at the table and Will goes to talk to Rachel.)
Rachel: Hi! Will, right?
Will: Right.
Will: Oh I-I remember you.
Will: You are unbelievable.
Monica: (breaking it up) Uh Rachel? Rachel, why dont you sit here? (Next to Joey) And Will you sit way over there. (The other side of the table.)
Rachel: All right, who would uh, like some yams? Will?
Will: Oh, youd like that wouldnt ya?
Will: (sneeze talks) Typical.
Will: I said it was typical. Typical of you, Rachel Green, Queen Rachel does whatever she wants in little Rachel land. (Does a fake hair flip.)
Will: I dont know? Do I? Do I?
Will: A little mean? You made my life miserable!
Will: Well you should be. Screw it! Bring on the yams!
Monica: Oh Will. But you-youve worked so hard
Will: Yams!!!!
Monica: Okay. (Chandler grabs the dish from Monica and hands it to Will who starts dishing out a large helping.)
Rachel: Uh Will umm, I just want to say that Im real sorry for whatever I-I did to you in high school
Will: Oh, it wasnt just me. We had a club!
Will: Thats right, The I Hate Rachel Green Club!
Will: Me and Ross. (Points at Ross.)
Will: Yes he was. (Holds up his hand for a high-five.)
Will: You went out with her?! We had a pact!
Will: Then why did it have the word eternity in it?
Monica: I swear I didnt. (To Ross and Will) Hey! Is that why you guys used to go up to your bedroom and lock the door?
Ross and Will: Yeah.
Will: Co-founded!
Will: Uh, except that it was really the I Hate Rachel Club.
Will: Well, we did a little more than that.
Will: We started a rumor.
Phoebe: Oh, come on Will! Just take off your shirt and tell us!
Will: Thats right! We said your parents flipped a coin, decided to raise you as a girl, but you still had a hint of a penis.
Rachel: (reading what he wrote again) "Dear Rach, youre a great person. Sorry about your tiney-wienie." (Will laughs.)
Will: Could you also tell them Im skinny now?
Will: Mrs. Altman? She also made out with Takaka Ci-Kek the night before he went back to Thailand.
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Will: Yeah! (They high-five.)
Rachel: All right, yknowFine! You guys have your stupid little club, but I would just like to say is what you did to me is way worse than what I did to you! You gave me a tiney-wienie! (Will laughs.)
Will: Hold on! You got her pregnant?
Will: Are ya getting married?
Will: So you knocked her up but youre not gonna marry her. Dude! (Wants another high-five and Ross ignores him.) Anybody?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Will has left and the rest of the gang is watching Joey finish the turkey.]
Monica: Well yknow, Im just-Im just worried that bosses will see them and think they pay you too much money. Or! Or your assistant will see them and-and want a raise!
Monica: Oh! (Gets up) Lets see, well if this is the wedding hall then umm (Walks away) youre parents will be at home in Queens.
Ross: Oh, but it's a kind game! So we're a little late, you know, the girls will be there, let's stay just for one more goal.
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Flight Attendant: It's from Rachel. She said that she loved the present, and she will see you when you get back.
Ursula: Hi. Okay, will that be all?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
JOEY: Well if he's not gonna eat it, I will.
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Joey: All right, I guess this will be fine.
Phoebe: Ninety percent of a womens pheromones come out the top of her head! Thats why, thats why women are shorter. So that men will fall in love when they hug them! (Ross is staring at her dumbfounded.) Oh come on Ross, youre a scientist.
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
Phoebe: Écoutez, je vais vous dire la vérité. C'est mon petit frère. Il est un peu retardé. (Translation: Listen, I will tell you the truth. He's my little bother. He's a bit retarded.)
Chandler: Oh, I will. But I will need a mirror... as he is me!
Rachel: I dont care! I dont care! You are going to have to take her out again and end it, and end it in way that she knows its actually ended. And, I dont care how hard it is for you, do not tell her that you will call her again!
Ross: Okay... okay, maybe I will...
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Monica: As a thank you, Rachel and I will kiss for one minute.
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Ross: Ohh, I-I see lotion, I have lotion! Will that work?
Phoebe: Now you will not believe this. But, I was in the copy room, making copies, and Ralph Lauren came in.
Ross: (breaking the hug) Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store! (Runs to the door.) Check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again.
Rachel: No! No, I am not getting in a car with Ross, we will just have to live here!
Quartet: (singing) And you know who will be there to support... you?! Your one and only boyfriend...
Rachel: Oh, somebody will.
Joey: (to Monica) Hey, how much will you give me to eat this whole jar of olives?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Rachel: Then, you will definitely get him back!
RICHARD: Yeah, if I have to. Monica, I don't wanna lose you, so if I have to do it all over again, then I will.
Monica: No, no its going to be great. Really! Mom, Dad, when I got married, one of the things that made me sure I could do it was the amazing example the two of you set for me. For that and so many other things I want to say thank you. I know I probably dont say it enough, but I love you. (Pretends to cry hoping her parents will join her.) When I look around this room, Im-Im saddened by the thought of those who could not be here with us. Nana, my beloved grandmother who would so want to be here, but she cant because shes dead. As is our dog Chi-Chi. I mean look how cute she is. (Holds up the picture and pretends to cry again). Was. (To an old man by the stage.) Do me a favor and pass this to my parents. Remember shes dead. Okay, her and Nana, gone. Wow! Hey does anybody remember when Debra Winger had to say goodbye to her children in Terms of Endearment? (Chandler covers his ears) Didnt see that? No movie fans?! You want to hear something sad? The other day I was watching 60 Minutes these orphans in Romania, who have been so neglected, they were incapable of love. (Waits for people to cry, but doesnt get any tears.) You people are made of stone! Heres to mom and dad! Whatever!
Ross: I just wanna say good-bye to you guys and to see if you guys will place a little bet for me, huh? Twenty bucks on black 15.
Joey: My mom will.
Joey: What the hell are you talking about, (in a Jamaican accent) "The south will rise again man."
Joey: Oh, I will.
Rachel: I will think about it.
Joey: That one will.
Monica: I wont care, because I know you will be feeling it all in here. (Points to her heart.)
Phoebe: Well, you promised me a fun road trip! Weve been on the road six hours and youve been asleep for five and a half! We are switching at the next rest stop and you are going to drive all the way back! That will be your punishment, you greedy sleeper!
Phoebe: Yeah! Lets do that!! That-that sounds good. We should sit down and talk, just me, my lover Carol, and the Stings. Umm, how-how will I get in touch with them?
Phoebe: If I let go of my hair, my head will fall off.
Rachel: Hey Joey, will you please set this up for people to put Emma's presents on?
Chandler: Extremely allergic, okay? If I'm anywhere near a dog for more than 5 minutes, my throat will just close up!
Joey: Chandler, will you just come in already?
Joey: (to Chandler) If you don't do it, I will.
MAN: Sure will. I've uh, gotta go. Take care.
Joey: Okay, fine, I will bring you a tape, huh? (Walks away)
Phoebe: Will he know what this is in reference to? (Listens) And he has your number? (Listens) All right, I'll see that he gets the message. Bye bye.
Monica: It will be my pleasure. (to Phoebe) My guy has diplomatic coupons. Your guy cant even say coupons. (they leave)
Rachel: Alright. In high school I was the prom queen and I was the homecoming queen and the class president and you... were also there! But if you take this monkey, I will lose one of the most important people in my life. You can hate me if you want, but please do not punish him. C'mon, Luisa, you have a chance to be the bigger person here! Take it!
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Chandler: Okay, heres the thing. Were gonna get you some coffee and they will never know that youre drunk.
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Chandler: All right. I will go out and I will try to find something for her, okay?
Ross: Will you make the mashed potatoes with the lumps?
Ross: All right, all right. You-you-you know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, you-you--I will show how well I flirt. Yeah! I will, I will get her phone number! (To Chandler) And not the one on the menu!
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Monica: I know! And four ninety-nine for a pillow top queen set, who cares about the divorce, those babies will sell themselves. (they all stare at her) And Im appalled for you by the way.
Chandler: Okay, now will you guys get out of here? I want this is to be a surprise and shes gonna know.
Rachel: (To Joey) So, will you talk to him?
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Chandler: Well, it's just interesting. You know, because no one will ever know, because no one can experience both.
Nurse: Well, you know your insurance will cover that.
Ross: No, I will not!
Mindy: Will you be my maid of honour?
Ross: Okay, I've got to go pick up Ben but I-I will figure something out. (He opens the door and stops.) Hey, didn't he used to have a cat?
Ross: Yeah, kinda. Its this woman from work. I hope that wont be too weird. Will it, Rach?
INTERVIEWER: No, just a salad will be fine.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Phoebe: All right. Ok, but, but! You have to promise that you will not be all like control-y and bossy and Monica about it.
Chandler: Helen drinks. (Insincerely) Will you marry me?
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Chandler: Okay, well we'll go back in there, but will you do one thing for us? The people that care about you?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Monica: Yeah-yeah, yknow what? Yeah, thats it-thats it, everything will be mine! Nothing will be yours! Thats-thats what I said! Oh come on, Chandler! Im talking about the barca lounger! It just, it doesnt match! Where is it gonna go?!
Rachel: So, will I like any of these guys?
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: Hi! Emma will be up in a minute!
Parker: What a beautiful place. What a great night! I have to tell you, being here with all of you in Event Room C I feel so lucky. I think of all the good times that have happened here. The birthdays, the proms, the mitzvahs both bar and bat, but none of them will compare with tonight! My God, I dont want to forget this moment! Its like I want to take a mental picture of you all! Click! (He takes a mental picture of them all.)
Dr. Green: Excuse me for a moment, will you please, I want to say good night to the Levines, before we go.
Mr. Waltham: (drunkenly) The next tour of the wine cellar will plan in two in-in minutes
RACHEL: Ok, ok, ok, I will, I will, I, hey, I will clean the apartment for two months.
Monica: Hi, uh, Richard it's Monica, um, listen I did something kind of crazy tonight, um, maybe I'm getting my period or something, I don't know. Um, anyway, I, I, I beeped into your machine and I heard a message that, that freaked me out, and um, you know what Michelle will tell you the rest. I, I, um, I'm sorry, okay, I, I hope that we can forget the whole thing. Okay, bye.
Monica: She will be after tonight.
Chandler: Will you marry me? Will you marry me? (Makes like a gun with his fingers.) Hey, you marry me! (He gives up as Joey, Rachel, Phoebe, and Ross slink in all excited.) Whats going on little elves?
MNCA: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. Wait a minute. I believe this will change your mind. [Reads from paper] In a mediocre play, Joseph Tribbiana was able to achieve brilliant new levels of... continued on page 153...[turns it] sucking.
Joey: Well, everyone will enjoy my music as well. (Does a chord and Monica starts taking pictures of him and Phoebe. They both start to strike a pose with the excessive amount of pictures that Monica takes.)
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
Phoebe: yeah I've nothing to be ashamed of ok so I haven't been in a relationship that lasted longer then a month. Ok I haven't had a real boyfriend you know if he can't handle that he can leave. which he will and that's ok. so I'll just be alone forever you know alright I'll be. it'll be fine. it'll be fine. I'll go walking tours with widows and lesbians. Oh (takes a deep breath and sits down, knock on the door)
Chandler: Well, lets just say that Krog will be fully equipped to destroy the universe again in twelve to fourteen hours.
Larry: Oh, will you mind if I wash up? Because I came straight from work and who knows where these babies (Holds up his hands) have been.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Phoebe: (in voice, on phone) 'Okay, go ahead.' (in normal voice on phone) Um, hi Annie. (listens) Fantastic! (to Joey) You got it. (on phone) Oh, okay, um, 'Will he work for scale?' you ask me. Well, I don't know about that, (Joey clears his throat to signify yes) except that I do and he will. Great, oh you are such a sweetheart. I would love to have lunch with you, how about we have lunch next....(hangs up phone) Op, went through a tunnel.
Monica: (getting choked up) Hi, Ben. Hi. I'm your Aunt Monica. Yes I am. I'm your Aunt Monica. I...I will always have gum.