words in movies
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with wait for it Monica!]
Dream Monica: Y'know, I love doing crossword puzzles with you honey!
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Monica: What's with him?
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Monica: What is going on with you?
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Monica: Wait, Joey! Joey! That doesnt mean that-that you're in love with me!
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
Cop: (stopping her) Hey, wait a second! So wait, what precinct are you with?
Phoebe: I-I'm with the umm, the 57th.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Cop: Okay, so since umm, you're not going to jail tonight I was wondering if you would like to go to dinner with me?
Phoebe: Umm, yeah, I'd like to go out with you officer
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
PHOEBE: I'm almost done with it, keep your panties on.
(The camera cuts to Wayne whos busy making out with Sarah and rubbing C.H.E.E.S.E.s controller on her back causing C.H.E.E.S.E. to go crazy. Joey starts throwing books at C.H.E.E.S.E. to get him to stop.)
Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.
(Finally, Monica with her parents on her arms start down the aisle.)
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Ross: Oh well, I guess Ill catch up with her later.
Amy: Thank you! So, can I stay with you?
Eric: Well if I didnt have sex with you, I had sex with someone that looked an awful lot like
(Rachel runs over and answers the phone with the blender in hand.)
Rachel: Pheebs, this whole apartment thing is just a nightmare! Every place I can afford comes with a roommate who is a freak. I mean, look at this; (Points to one and starts to read it.) "Wanted. Female roommate, non-smoker, non-ugly." Its just, there is nothing! The citys full!
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Monica: Please? Please?! We just don't want to deal with telling everyone, okay? Just promise you won't tell.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Rachel: I can't believe this. All I wanted to do was help you try to figure out what to do with your life and this is how you repay me?
[Scene: Another Waiting Room, Phoebe and Joey are trying to find out where the guy with the broken leg is.]
Chandler: (entering with Joey) (to Monica) Coffee house?
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Ross: (taping Joey with the cam) Hey, there is uncle Joey!
Phoebe: Oh, hi Chandler. It's Phoebe. Uhm... I know that Monica is working today so...(back to Central Perk) ...I was wondering if you want to come to the movies with me and Rachel.
Ticket Counter Attendant: Are you travelling with a child?
Benjamin: Break up with Charlie!
Joey: Listen, do you guys think I have a chance with Janine?
[Cut to the Jetway, the flight attendant enters, walks past Ross, and approaches an older man with his wife who is also wearing a blue jacket.]
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
Mark: Sure, sure. (To Ross) What's with the chair. (Rachel signals him not to mention she's been fired)
Monica: All right. Umm, you could uh start out with a little 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, 7.. 7 7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7 (mouths 7)! (They both lean back on the couch satisfied.)
Paul: (entering) Here you go honey. One Diet Coke with ice.
Chandler: Yeah, I miss that too. I tell you what; from now on well make time to hang out with each other.
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Chandler: (The room is filled with flowers and a floral print sheet on the bed.) Oh my God. What is th its like a guy never lived in here. Look, youve got to be careful. This girl thing is dangerous. (Looking around the living room.) Its spreading already.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
ROSS: No. Man I don't wanna have to have Joey with me every time I wanna descent cup of coffee. Ya know, and I don't wanna spend the rest of my life drinking cappucino with a 'K'. I say you and I go back down there and stand up to those guys.
Joey: Okay wait-wait p-please be cool! Okay? I work with this woman.
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
(They run down the street with Ross and Rachel following right behind them.)
Laura: Are you friends with him?
ROSS: The point is I... I don't need this right now, OK. It, it's too late, I'm with somebody else, I'm happy. This ship has sailed.
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: With Roger? (Monica shyly looks away.) Not just with Roger?! (Monica shrugs.) Oh my God!
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
(Chandler turns to watch her go and then sees Ross and Joey both with huge grimaces on their faces.)
Chandler: Hey, y'know, I have had it with you guys and your cancer and your emphysema and your heart disease. The bottom line is, smoking is cool, and you know it.
Phoebe: Are you asking me out? Cause it would be kinda weird since you just broke up with my sister.
Monica: Okay, just wait, please. I promise we'll come up with something. Just give us a little more time.
Phoebe: Hey! (Jumps on the bed with him.) Can we pick up where we left off?
JOEY: Let me get this straight. He got you to beg to sleep with him, he got you to say he never has to call you again, and he got you thinking this was a great idea.
Monica: The Way You Look Tonight is on here! Dance with me?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Ross: Yeah, yeah, what's with the trophy!
Chandler: All right, I'd say we make a pact. Neither of us will go out with Missy Goldberg.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Rachel: (to Joanne) So what's going on with you?
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Chandler: All right, think about it. Now remember when you were going out with that girl Donna and you guys broke up. Remember how horrible it was when you guys bumped into each other at the supermarket?
Monica: Good! Now I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember, if I am harsh with you, it is only because you are doing it wrong.
Joey: (entering, with his grandmother) Hey everybody, look who's here! You remember my grandmother!
Sarah: What? what is the matter with you?
Phoebe: (To Monica under her breath) Simmons! Go with Simmons!
Rachel: When Carol was pregnant with Ben
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, with the giant entertainment center Joey is exiting from his room.]
[Fade to Black, then fade in again with Ross stopped at the doorway.]
Phoebe : WHO DID YOU SEE HIM WITH?
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Ross: I don't know you'd be so bored with marriage. I mean it's so... normal.
[Scene: The street, Joey is messing with a car cover and still wearing the Porsche stuff. This guy playing street football catches a pass next to the car cover Joey is fooling around with.]
Joey: (muffled by the mouth guard) Dude! I am trying to sleep! (Shrugs to say, "Whats up with that?")
Monica: Well, I guess we've established who's staying here with Monica...
(from 1.07 - "The One With The Blackout")
(from 5.08 - "The One With the Thanksgiving Flashbacks")
Rachel: Yeah! Especially not with all of these knives and cookbooks around
(from 4.12 - "The one With the Embryos")
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
[Scene: Joeys Premiere, Rachel is already there with her date, Tommy who's played by Ben Stiller who will be in There's Something About Mary and Meet The Parents, as Ross and his date, Cailin, arrive.]
Elizabeth: Yeah! Im just going down there to relax and hang out with my friends.
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
A Tourist: (To Joey) Would you mind doing a picture with us?
Chandler: Yknow what? I dont trust you with this cake anymore! And I got it first, and Im takin it back! (Grabs the cheesecake and heads for his apartment.)
Monica: We have too! I mean what if Ross's hears that and then calls her back and then they get back together? Is that what you want? Ross back with that controlling, neurotic, crazy Emily? The Emily that wouldn't let him see you?
Rachel: No, I also had to go to a couple houses with him as his girlfriend. Oh, I am just awful with children!
Monica: What? Something happened with the plates?
Joey: All right, Im here, lets ahh, get this over with.
Rachel: Look, Im fine. Watch. (She picks up an aspirin between her toes) Look at that. (She lifts her leg to grab the aspirin with her hand and almost falls over.) Whoa-whoa!
Monica: See, this is why I told you never get involved with your assistant! And here is no such thing as keeping secrets when it comes to affairs. (To Chandler) Did you hear that Chandler? No such thing!
(With one last mighty tug the combatants lose their grip and split, each holding one candlestick.)
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
David: Well, i-it's okay. I-I-I understand... Well, s... well, are you happy with this guy?
Mr. Geller: Have a seat son. (You can see Mr. Geller sitting closer to the door as Chandler walks over and sits in his lap.) Hey!! (Chandler quickly jumps off and sits next to him with a shocked expression on his face.)
Joey: Look, does someone mind switching to sit with Charlie?
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
Monica: All right then, when Im done with this place, its gonna be ten times better than that place!
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Chandler and Monica are waiting for Phoebe to arrive with the cab.]
Ross: So, um- so how's this, uh, how's this gonna work? Y'know, with us? Y'know, when, like, important decisions have to be made?
Julie: Yeah, we are going to share every moment of this with you. And I think were gonna have some fun.
Rachel: Oh hey! Hey Ross! Hey hows it, hows it going with you and Mona? Are you guys still together?
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
Monica: Yeah with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars.