words in movies
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Phoebe: It's so weird seeing Ross and Rachel with a baby. It's just so grown up.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Phoebe: You know, I might know somebody. Hey, how about you set me up with someone, and we double date!
Chandler. Well my boss and I worked out a deal where I only have to be in Tulsa four days a week, so the other three I can be here with you.
Monica: Honey, thanks for trying to figure out a way, but if you're going to Tulsa, I wanna go with you.
Ross: Was there anything you did wrong with Emma?
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
Mike: I gotta tell you, I can't believe I'm doing this with you. Although I did just get out of a nine-year relationship, so I guess I should be open and taking some risks.
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Chandler: Can I just say how much I appreciate you coming with me. When we get to Tulsa I'm taking you for a great dinner at 'Slim Pickings'. 'So Cheesy'? 'Whole Hog'? It's going to be tough to keep Kosher in Tulsa.
Receptionist: Dr. Gettleman is finishing up with a patient, he should be out shortly.
Joey: Yeah, that's because we had a bit of a falling out. Mike hit my mom with a car.
Phoebe: Joey, why did you set me up with a stranger?
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
(Ross and Rachel enter with Emma.)
Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?
Ross: Excuse me, I don't mean to be a jerk, but the baby with the rash came in after me.
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
Ross: With the circus? He's behind the elephant.
Girl: Mommy, what's wrong with that man?
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Ross: So, eh. I made out with Adrienne and you made out with Missy. Well I guess we're even.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Chandler: Yknow what the worse part was? I got to see what my life would be like without you. It was like Its a Wonderful Life with lap dances. Please promise that you will never leave me, that we will grow old together, and be with each other for the rest of our lives.
{Transcribers Note: There was no credits scene with this episode.}
Joey: Well it does when you combine it with, "This is so embarrassing, I just want to have a normal life!"
Jill: I dont understand, do you want to go out with Ross?
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
EDDIE: That's very interesting, ya know, 'cause that's exactly what someone who slept with her would say.
(Ursula opens the door and is all dressed up with big hair and lingerie.)
Rachel: The meeting with the guy went great?
Rachel: I think you should definitely go out with this guy.
Chandler: Who are you going out with?
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Phoebe: Oh, hi, Mrs. Waltham. I need to speak with ether one of the best men, or Rosss sister Monica.
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Chandler: No reason. (turns around, makes an 'Oh my God' gesture with his eyes)
Chandler: (smiling)....with??
Joey: What's the matter with Rog?
Joey: (thinking) Uhm... oh! Okay. You come with me, and you tell them that the house is haunted!
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
Rachel: Right! Right! I-I actually meant in your spare time, do you cook? Do you ski? Or do you just hang out with your wife or girlfriend?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Both: Three! (They lift up the covers and check each other out, then come back up with silly grins on their faces.)
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Rachel: What are you playing with?
Rachel: And with Chandler in the next room. What are you, what are you sick?
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Joey: Monica what're you doin'? You can't go shopping with her? What about Rachel?
Ross comes out of the guest bedroom with the diaper bag and the car seat carrying thingy.. yeah.. thats the techinal term.. He goes to Chandler.
Rachel: Yes!! I mean sex does not have to be a big deal! There shouldnt be all this rules and restrictions! Yknow, people should be able to sleep with who ever they want, whenever
ROSS: (putting his arm up with his hand on the door frame.)� Why?� (He starts to lower his arm.)
Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.
Rachel: Hey, that is the babys problem. (Dr. Green returns.) Oh, everything okay with the waiter?
Monica: Oh, Id like a latte. Oh yknow what? If youre gonna talk about me, Im gonna go with you.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Phoebe: With?
Ross: Oke-dokey. (He pokes her in the eye with the brush.)
Monica: Were gonna pick up the wedding dress then were gonna have lunch with mom. (Joey stands up.)
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Monica:: Joey I am not going to objectify woman with you (looks at the woman) but if her face is as nice as her ass woah mamma.
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Monica: Its not like, I havent any opportunities. I mean, yknow, Im just waiting for the perfect guy. Im seeing this guy Roger, all right? Hes not perfect, but umm, I think maybe I should just get it over with. Yknow, give him my flower.
Phoebe: (pointing at Mike and shouting) I sleep with him!
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Chandler: So in your whole life, you've only been with one(He gets a look too)oh.
Monica: (getting up) All right, Im gonna go to work. Does anybody have a problem with that?
Rachel: Oh come on Ross!! (She tries to switch places with him and goes under his leg.)
Chandler: I'm not going to Vermont with this Monica!
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is there as Ross enters with his all his hair sticking straight up.]
Monica: I'd rather hang out with a sniveling work weasel guy when I can be hanging out with my boyfriend who I actually respect.
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
MONICA: Listen, um honey, I appreciate this but you don't have to keep hanging out with them for me, I mean, they have each other.
[Flashback to The One With Phoebe's Uterus, Monica is teaching Chandler how to turn a woman on. They're in Monica and Rachel's apartment and Monica has just drawn a diagram of a woman.]
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
Rachel: How do you know that? What if it just gets worse and worse and worse, to the point where we cant even be in the same room with each other?!
Phoebe: Because you'll date her once, sleep with her and then forget she exists!
Joey: (speaking with his mouth full, enjoying his sandwich) What did they say?
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Monica: Honey, you know I think you're hilarious! Come on, you know that joke you told me last week? The one about Jerry Lewis and the girl with the lazy eye...? (he laughs) That slayed me.
Chandler: You know, I can't believe you. Linda is so great! Why won't you go out with her again?
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
Dr. Green: (on phone, not hearing her) theres gonna be a wedding! (Joey enters from his room and goes to get a beer from the fridge.) Thats unacceptable Rachel! What the hell does love have to do with it anyway?! There are more important things in a marriage other than love! (Joey hears something and looks around for the source.) constantly thinking about things! You have to think about the consequences of your decision. (Joey finds that the sound is coming from the phone and puts it to his ear.)
Monica: Yeah, well, I'll take a little crying any day over Howard-the-"I-win"-guy. (imitating) "I win! I win!" I went out with the guy for two monthsI didn't get to win once.
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Joey: Then she came back with "The question is, when are you gonna grow up and realise I have a bomb?"
Joey: Pathetic mess? I know, butcome on, man, she's needy, she's vulnerable. I'm thinkin', cha-ching! (Rachel throws a roll at Joey. He picks it up and eats it.) Thanks. Look, you have not been out with a woman since Janice. You're doin' this.
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
Phoebe: Ooh, I'll go in on that with you! I couldn't think of anything.
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
Leslie: Yeah, but, I dont do that anymore. I got kinda sick of it, and then I couldnt come up with anything good, so they fired me.
Ross: (Covering his mouth with the glass.) How about all the way.
Rachel: Yeah and you stretch em out with your big old clown feet.
Phoebe: Well then, you should look with us.
Ross: Ohh! Ohh! In college, Chandler got drunk and slept with the lady who cleaned our dorm!
[The next one is from Episode 224: The One With Barry And Mindys Wedding, Joey has to kiss a guy in an audition and has been trying to find one to practice with.]
(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)
Monica: Wait, wait, he came up with that himself. Tell them, Chandler.
Monica: What we did was wrong. Oh god, I just had sex with somebody that wasn't alive during the Bicentennial.
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Kathy: Umm, (moves her hands down to his butt) I love this touchy. Can I take it to work with me?
Frank: So wait, whats the deal here, I can have sex with you, but I cant touch you?
RYAN: Phoebe, I have spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men, thinking about this moment. I am not gonna let a bunch of itchy spots stand between us. [He walks to her and kisses her.]
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Chandler: Oh, thats Parents Day, first grade. Thats me with the janitor Martin.
Chandler: We dont have to come up with this now.
(Phoebe has already hung up, leaving Joey in the dark. So Joey decides to watch some TV and turns on a rerun of Cheers, with the theme song playing. At first, hes happy, but as the song progresses Joey gets depressed and homesick.)
MONICA: Chandler look, I don't want to be one of those wives who says, "You can't go to the game.� You have to spend time with me."� So, if you could just realize it on your own . . .
Rachel: (interrupting) Still in love with?!
Chandler: This is great, another Thanksgiving with nothing to give thanks for.