words in movies
[a stranger enters with flowers]
MONICA: Of course I wouldn't approve, I mean, you were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay. I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
PHOEBE: OK, I wasn't in love with him and I was just helping out a friend.
PHOEBE: Oh, I don't know. Umm, how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby out on the terrace.
CHANDLER: If I'm goin' down, I'm takin' everybody with me.
JOEY: Ahh, alright, alright, alright, I was young and I just wanted a job, OK. But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it so they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't 'cause there's people havin' sex on it.
MONICA: Look honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now and you're just gonna have to get over it.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: Oh yeah, I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if begs, she pleads, she tells you she, she's gonna have sex with, with another man. That just means it's working.
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
JOEY: I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're OK watching a video filled with two nippled people. [Chandler puts the tape in]
ROSS: What's wrong with people having sex?
[video starts with the cheesy porn disco music]
PHOEBE: Oh. Well is she, is she the first that you've been with?
DUNCAN: Well, I've never told you this but, there were one or two times, back in college, when I'd get really drunk, go to a straight bar and wake up with a woman next to me. But I, I, I told myself it was the liquor and e-everyone experiments in college.
RACHEL: OK Julie, so now let's start with your childhood, what was that like?
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
RACHEL: Maybe it, maybe it doesn't have to be this tough. I mean, maybe you were on the right track with this whole, you know, spontaneous thing. I mean, women really like that.
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Rachel: What is the matter with us?
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Monica: Oh! Do you need me to go with you?
Monica: Okay, what's going on with you?
Chandler: Hi sweetie. So, what was with all the whispering?
(Seeing Rachels apparently okay with this, the rest of the gang jumps up to congratulate Ross and Emily on their pending nuptials.)
Richard: Hey Joey, could you uh, go through these lines with me? (Hes holding a script.)
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
Monica: What is going on with you?
[cut to another clip, this one is from The One With The Prom Video]
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Joey: Umm, listen, Ross do you really think this moving in with Rachel is a good idea?
Chandler: (looks him in the eye) I'm not breaking up with her! (they stare at each other for a while, then Joey blows in his face)
Ross: The flirting! Aren't you supposed to be going out with, I don't know hmm, let's say my sister?!
Joey: Well, I'm starting to make good money on the show and I'm thinking... I should probably do something with it.
Joey: All right, let's do it! 5 hour flight with Charlie, have a couple of drinks, get under that blanket and do what comes naturally.
Rachel: (looking at the bulletin board with baby pictures) So, which of these babies do you think is the ugliest?
Chandler: And a date with a man!
[Cut to Ross leaping into Chandlers Hotel room in London in The One With Rosss Wedding.]
(He hesitates, then goes over to dance with her.)
Chandler: Ah, I fooled around with Joeys sister. (Phoebe gasps) Well, thats not the worst part.
Ross: No. Rachel hooked me up with a tux! But not just any tux, Batmans tux!
Ross: My dad wanted to know if you wanted to play racquetball with us.
Lewis: Yeah, Im all in love with you and stuff. So could you change my grade?
Gunther: (In his head) Say Rachel, I was wondering if youd like to go to a movie with me sometime. As my lover! Nnnsch, to out there. Maybe youd just like to ah, get something to eat with me sometime? As my lover.
Emily: Oh, theres tonnes of terrific stuffIll go with you!
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
(Chandler and Joey smile, but when Ross turns away look at each other with looks of horror.)
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Monica: Well, instead of being sad that tonight is my last night together with Rachel we thought wed go out to dinner and celebrate the fact that Rachel is moving in with Phoebe.
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
Monica: Look, not that I enjoy talking about people who I went to high school with, cause I do, but umm, maybe we could talk about something else? Like you, I dont even know where you work?
Rachel: Now, she thinks that I made out with him and I did it to get her job.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Phoebe: Because at that time you see, I thought everything that rhymed was true. So I thought yknow that if Id work with stocks, Id have to live in a box, and only eat lox, and have a pet fox.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross has just broken up with Julie and is about to get with Rachel.]
Robin: Why? Why?! Whats wrong with me?!
Ross: (To Chandler) You made out with Missy Goldberg. How could you do that, after you promised me?
RACHEL: Horrible and degrading list of reasons not to be with me?
Monica: Umm, actually I was about to tell you that I was, I was going to get out of it, but hey, if we're just goofing around then uh, maybe I will go out with him.
Chandler: (starts to laugh, but then gets serious) So umm, you-you flirt with guys all the time?
Monica: So? How did it go with Joshua last night?
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
JOEY: Hey, are you cool with this. I mean, I don't want to leave you high and dry.
WAITER: (with tray and two drinks)� Excuse me.� Um, these are from the two gentlemen at the end of the bar.
Joey: I mean seriously, shes like the perfect woman. I mean I know she turned me down, but if she hadnt and wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and (Realizes everyone is staring.) I havent bummed you guys out like this in a while have I?
Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!
Ross: Filming Rachel is not something I planned. Okay look, heres what happened, and Joey you-you can back me up on this. All right, about-about a month and a half ago I came to you with a problem? Umm, a personal thing.
Monica: Phoebe, you get the bear, uhm, Joey, you get the robot, and Chandler and I get the dog. Ok, and the race is going to go (Takes two cups and marks the start and finish lines with them) from here to here. Now the one who comes in last, stays!
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Joey: No, Im gonna!! Thats right! Yeah, you made me feel really guilty about goin out with that girl! Like-like-like I did something terrible to you! And now Pheebs, youre doing the same thing!
Rachel: Are you kidding?! With the, with the lilies, and-and the song, and the stars! It was really wonderful! Did you just make that up?
Rachel: All right, so... Ross, you're ok with all this? I mean...
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Doctor: Ill be right with you. Okay? (to the nurse) Thanks, Wendy.
Phoebe: Well, we didnt have a lot of money. But the girl across the street had the best bike! It was pink and it had rainbow colored tassels hanging off the handle grips, and-and-and a bell and this big, white wicker basket with those plastic daisies stuck on.
Rachel: Look! I cleaned! I did the windows, I did the floors... I even used all the attachments on the vacuum, except that little round one with the bristles, I don't know what that's for.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
(Rachel agrees with him and starts to get out of bed.)
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Monica: What's with him?
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)
Phoebe: So, I decided Im definitely going to go with either Joey or Chandler.
Joey: A date?! No, no Pheebs you-you must be mistaken, because I know you wouldnt schedule a date on the same night you have plans with a friend!
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
Kim: No. No! You're doing great! Dont you give up! That's why we didn't tell you and we're not gonna drag you down with us.
Joey: Yeah. We figured when we couldnt find you, youd gone home to make up with Rachel. Which is probably what you shoulda done. Huh?
(Both Rachel and Monica walk into their bedrooms, stop, and come back into the living room with confused looks on their faces.)
Joey: Come on!! (motions for Chandler to come with him)
Ross: (seeing Phoebe still with cat) You didnt tell her?! (They all kinda shy away.) Okay, fine! Pheebs?
[Scene: Amanda's apartment, Ross is arriving with Ben.]
Monica: (wiping her nose) Are you saying that you dont wanna get with this? (Tries to do a little sexy body rub, but it doesnt work all that well with the big robe.)
Chandler: I spent the entire day with you, why didn't you tell me?!
Joey: Saw a girl with that vest.
Chloe: Good luck, with your girlfriend.
Chandler: It was fine, yknow? But she didnt agree with me as strongly as she agreed with Joey. She was more like, "I see you point, Im all right with it."
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Waiter: (with British accent) Soo, are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ross is still trying to get Ben to play with something other than the Barbi doll.]
Monica: I can't believe she's gonna say yes to David. She's clearly in love with Mike.
RICHARD: Honey, you are not an oat. I, I mean I don't know, I, I guess I'm just not an oat guy. I've only slept with women I've been in love with.
(Ross keeps staring at her, head on table. Chandler smacks him with a newspaper. Joey enters, Ross and Chandler laugh at him.)
Jill: All right, Im leaving! Because Im not going to spend one more day with someone whose out to sabotage my every move. Thats you Rachel!
Phoebe: For 99 cents, I'd eat you. (Sees the casino) Okay, I can totally settle down here. It's got everything I could ever want, including Joey! Look! (Points to Joey in his gladiator suit posing for a picture with two old ladies.) Oh! Look! Hi!
Joey: I am telling you Ross, she is definitely gonna fall in love with you again! Now, is that what you want?
Danny: Are you close with them?
Phoebe: Im, Im freaking out! Monica kinda trusted me with something and she shouldnt have! All right, I havent lived here in a while, so I have to ask you something. Does Monica still turn on the lights in her bedroom?
Rachel: (blushing) Oh, what a line. (walks towards the drinks table with her back towards Chandler and whispers "Oh my God!")
Bobby: Yeah, he took the other one off and hit me with it.
[Scene: A Fire House, Phoebe has gone to break up with Vince.]
Chandler: But youre not just a soap actor. You are a soap actor with freakishly tiny feet.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
Monica: What's wrong with PBS?
Ross: I know. Thats why I did it. (With a big smile) Come on, are they really that bad?
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"