words in movies
Phoebe: Hi. Um, I want to start with a song thats about that moment when you suddenly realize what life is all about. OK, here we go. (plays a chord, then the lights go out) OK, thank you very much.
(Chandler sees that there is a gorgeous model inside the vestibule with him. He makes a gesture of quiet exuberance.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is on the phone with her mother. Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross are there.]
Chandler: She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (pause) Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!
Chandler: Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.
Chandler: Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy.
[Scene: Monica's apartment, Joey enters with a menorah, the candles lit.]
Chandler: Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. (takes phone)
Joey: (to everyone) Oh my God! He's trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! (on phone) Chandler, listen. (says something intentionally garbled)
Rachel: I just never had a relationship with that kind of passion, you know, where you have to have somebody right there, in the middle of a theme park.
Ross: It is. Eventually, it kind of... burns out. But hopefully, what you're left with is trust, and security, and... well, in the case of my ex-wife, lesbianism. So, you know, for all of those people who miss out on that passion... thing, there's all that other good stuff.
(Ross gets up, pleased with himself.)
Rachel: (entering with Paolo, arm in arm) Everybody, this is Paolo. Paolo, I want you to meet my friends. This is Monica.
(Chandler tries to save face and makes the 'OK' sign with his hands, while obviously unable to breathe.)
Rachel: God, the first time he smiled at me... those three seconds were more exciting than three weeks in Bermuda with Barry.
[Cut to the other side of the apartment, Ross has gone over to straighten things out with Paolo.]
[Scene: ATM vestibule, Chandler and Jill are sitting below the counter with two pens dangling from their chains in front of them. Jill is showing Chandler how to swing the pen around his head.]
[Scene: The restaurant with still just Phoebe and Joey.]
Chandler: Phoebe thinks you and Don are soul mates, and I dont believe in that kind of stuff. But then you two totally get along. So look, I wont stand in your way if you want to run off with Don and live in a house of cheese.
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Ross: Well, at least she's with Pop-Pop and Aunt Phyllis now.
[Flashback to Joey interrupting a bath Monica and Chandler are sharing in The One With All The Kissing. Monica dives underwater as Joey opens the door.]
Rachel: What is the matter with you?!
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
RACHEL: More than jewelry. [Rachel struts off, extremely pleased with herself]
Chandler: The meaning of the box is three fold. One (holds a finger up through the air hole), it gives me the time to think about what I did. Two (holds up another finger), it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey. And three (holds up a third finger), it hurts!
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
JOEY: So anyway, I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. . .
Chandler: Fine with me!
JOEY: Phoebe here with the cab yet?
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
Chandler: If you clear things up with Rachel then Ross never needs to find out, but you have to do it now before he hears about it and kicks your ass!
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
Chandler: Oh my God! Those are my bedroom eyes?! Why did you ever sleep with me?
PHOEBE: I'm sorry, Monica, I'm really happy you got promoted, but cold cucumber mush for thirty-something bucks? No! Rachel just had that, that, that salad, and, and Joey with his like teeny pizza! It's just...
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Chandler: Skidmarks still got a way with the ladies.
Carol: You know that thing you put over here with the pin in it? It's time to take the pin out. You'll find someone, I know you will. The right woman is just waiting for you.
Chandler: Hey, you know what? Maybe we should keep them here with you.
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
Ross: Hey, howd the date go with Mr. Millionaire?
Monica: Yeah! Thats why Im sleeping with him on the side.
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: No, no, I keep trying, yknow? I can get out, "Joey, I have too " but then I lose my nerve and I always finish with, " go to the bathroom." He may think Im sick.
Joshua: Anyway, she burned all of my clothes. I got away with two things. This suit and what turned out to be a skirt.
Joey: Absolutely! Halloween is the worst. Except for Christmas and their birthdays. Kinda get a little crazy during the summer too. And anytime theyre hungry or sleepy. Yknow, kids are tough. Good luck with that. (Walks away.)
Carol: Ooh, yeah! She said shes having sooo much fun with Emily.
Chandler: Look at Officer Ross riding back here with the visitors.
RACHEL: Well, I was thinking maybe a um, a romantic dinner with um, candles and wine and then uh, maybe going back to my place for um, dessert.
Frank: (To Phoebe) What's with him?
ROSS: How come it's not mixing with the water?
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Phoebe: (shouts after David) Oh! David, get one for us too! Oh, oh, and see if they have a heart-shaped one! And with mirrors on the ceiling!
Joey: Hey! You guys! Youre not gonna believe this! I just got off the phone with my agent
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
Joey: Who's your friend? He's hot! (Ross laughs and Rachel smacks him with her purse.)
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Monica: Ditch you? Phoebe, you were pregnant with the triplets!
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Rachel: Timmy was my boyfriend and you made out with him!
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
Ross: What? (Mumbles) What-what, what are talking about? It-it worked with you.
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the next morning, Phoebe is there with her puppy and is trying to sing it to sleep as Chandler enters.]
Monica: I personally would be honored if she wanted to live with me.
MONICA: Ya know what, I think I'm gonna go to my room and read Cosmo, maybe there's something helpful in there. Know what, at least maybe I can learn how to do an at home bikini wax with leftover Cristmas candles.
Isabella: Arent you with that girl over there? (points at Rachel, who waves back)
Rachel: Well, get 'em out of here! What's wrong with you?
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Joey: Who would you rather sleep with Monica or Rachel?
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Monica: Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
(We hear Tag scream out in the hallway and jump into view of the open door on the scooter. He gives a hearty thumbs up to the group and rides off, with Joey following breathlessly behind.)
Rachel: Y'know, with the right pair of pumps, that would be a great little outfit.
Chandler: Okay Ross, why dont you come with me?
Ross: Wow! That is a good one! Wow, it looks like a, like a holiday card yknow, with the tree in the middle and the skaters and the snow.
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
[Scene: Chandler is packing the broken china in its box. He's taping up the top of box so thoroughly, there isn't an inch of cardboard which isn't covered in tape. He is struggling with the tape dispenser.]
Phoebe: Okay, okay, okay, the black. But, oh, do you have black, with the little strappys?
Chandler: What's up with the simian?
Chandler: Whats wrong with you?
Monica: Oh man, they think they are so slick messing with us! But see they don't know that we know that they know! So
Joey: Good, good yeah, (Grabs the bags) maybe while were there, they can check your reflexes. (Joey opens the door and it hits Ross in the face with it.) (Makes quote marks.) "Oops."
Joey: (entering, limping, and holding his arm) I dont like this anymore. (He sits down with them in pain.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching Baywatch with the baby chick. Hes on one leather chair, the chick is on the other. Its watching Yasmine Bleeth run and is chirping.]
Rachel: (entering with Phoebe) This place is amazing.
Chandler: Yeah, Im gonna stick with the ring. (Goes to another display counter.) Oh, this ones nice! (Pointing to another ring.) I like this one! Sir? Uh, kind sir? Can I see this one?
Phoebe: Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
[Scene: Phoebes cab, shes driving, Joeys in the back seat, and the hitchhiker is riding up front with Phoebe.]
Ross: Look I-I realize if anything were to happen with me and Jill then nothing could ever happen with us!
Rachel: Are ah, having dinner with my Dad tomorrow night, I hope thats okay.
Phoebe: I-I'm with the umm, the 57th.
PHOE: Yeah. Oh, OOOH, yeah, you know, did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um, OK, 'I was soooo wasted,' or, 'Oh, we were soooo bombed,' or, ummm, ooh, ooh, 'So I wake up, and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut.'
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Monica: Okay. Does it have to do with Ross and Rachel?
Rachel: (crying) No. I cant, youre a totally different person to me now. I used to think of you as somebody that would never, ever hurt me, ever. God, and now I just cant stop picturing with her, I cant, (Ross stands up and backs away) it doesnt matter what you say, or what you do, Ross. Its just changed, everything. Forever.
Joey: Right, and you go with Rachel, Bonnies free tonight?
Monica: Honey, listen... You have nothing to worry about with Geoffrey.
Gary: I really like waking up with you.
Chandler: (walking by with his luggage) See you later Mon.
Monica: No that is not what happened with us. Well, I was umm, I was really sad that night because this guy that I was Rosss mom.
[Scene: The Adoption Agency in Ohio. Monica and Chandler are entering with a man.]
Monica: He's not great umm, but he's dealing with it. Oh wait a minute, you're not gonna try
Benjamin: The selection committee has chosen the three of you as our finalists today. The ultimate decision will be based upon the answers you give to the questions I ask here. I'm gonna start with Dr. Li. Dr. Li, you claim the field is too reliant on the Linnaean taxonomic system. How do you propose to correct this problem?
Ross: You know what it's fine. If you're okay with the Barbi thing, so am I.
PHOEBE: [enters with the three people she got out] Ok, welcome to the fu-oh.
Rachel: Ross Im so sorry. Okay. I-I will promise I will straighten this out with him tomorrow in person, or via e-mail.
CHANDLER: Your just, your just clearly not familiar with our young persons vernacular. See, when we say dad, we mean buddy. We mean pal.
Phoebe: Are you kidding?! Another week with that sip, Ill kill myself!
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Chandler: What, Ethan? He got to spend the whole day with you!
David: Yes I can. Because if I go it means I have to break up with you, and I can't break up with you.
Chandler: Oh, come on. What was with that whole Black Bart speech? (mimicking): "When I play poker, I'm not a nice guy!"