words in movies
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
ROSS: Believe me, I've been dreaming about me and Rachel for ten years now. But now, I'm with Julie, so it's like me and Julie, me and Rachel, me and Julie, me and... [Rachel enters, carrying a tray]... Rachel. Rachel, Rachel.
MNCA: [with false enthusiasm] Mmm.
RACH: Why didn't he call? He's gonna stay with Julie, isn't he? He's gonna stay with her and she's going to be all, "Hi, I'm Julie, Ross picked me, and we're gonna to get married, have a lot of kids and dig up stuff together."
CHAN: Ok, all right, look. Let's get logical about this, ok? We'll make a list. Rachel and Julie, pros and cons. Oh. We'll put their names in bold, with different fonts, and I can use different colors for each column.
JOEY: Ok, let's start with the cons, 'cause they're more fun. All right, Rachel first.
CHAN: Ok, let's do Julie. What's wrong with her?
MNCA: Ok, this is pumpkin pie with mockolate cookie crumb crust. This is mockolate cranberry cake, and these are mockolate chip cookies. Just like the Indians served.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is on the phone with a computer hotline.]
[Ross enters with a melancholy look.]
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
JOEY: He broke up with Julie. Well, go hug her, for god's sakes.
[Ross and Chandler stare angrily at Joey, who thinks he has come up with a good idea.]
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Monica sits with Rachel, who is filling out an honest form at last. Ross and Chandler hurtle in. Little Marcel, wrapped in a fluffy towel, is cradled in Ross's arms. They dash up to the admissions desk. Ross is frantic.]
Ross: So thats the only reason she could be here huh? It couldnt have anything to do with the fact that-that maybe Im a good listener and I uh I put on a great slide show!
Phoebe: Well, I don't know if that's such a good idea. They clearly don't want to be with us.
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Monica: (entering with everyone else including Mr. Geller) Hi! Hey look whos here!
Joeys Grandmother: That dies with me.
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
[They all start fighting with each other.]
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
MR. GELLER: It's the off light. Right Ross? [pans over to see Ross with an afro and moustache]
Rachel: (seeing Ross come off the plane with another woman.) Oh my God.
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Rachel: (entering) Okay, I have to tell you something that I have never admitted during our entire friendship! But, when we were in high school I made out with James Farrell even when I knew that you liked him! Wow, that feels so good to get off my chest! Okay, you go!
Rachel: All right! Ross, do you think its easy for me to see you with somebody else?
Phoebe: Like shes really mean, and shes over critical, and-andNo! She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you!
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Phoebe: Ooh, ok, that's it. Enough with the keys. No one say keys.
Monica: Well umm, I was thinking that maybe we could come up with a system where we trade of being maid of honor for each other. Like hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine
[Monica picks up the bag, while Ross closes the door and hits Monica with his tail. They walk into the living room, and Monica empties the bag.]
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Rachel: Yes, but still. They're people with eyes.
[This starts another series of flashbacks about Joeys hobbies. The first one is from Episode 703: The One With Phoebes Cookies, Rachel is teaching Joey how to sail his boat, the Mr. Bowmont.]
Chandler: Actually, can I get some hot water with a little lemon? I think I strained my voice screaming in there. Does it have to be so loud?
Chloe: Good luck, with your girlfriend.
Don: Well, we just had a terrible lunch today at Reattica. What is with all the sun-dried tomatoes at that place?
Danny: (returning, with a friend) Rachel, this is my friend Tom. (To Tom) This is the girl I told you about.
Phil: With him? Youre is favourite, youre his guy!
RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Ross: Oh well, since I have that whole history with Rachel, I guess Phoebe.
ROSS: Well, OK, I uh, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've uh, y'know, I've got a cab, I've got a girlfriend, I'm... I'm gonna go get a cat.
MR A: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with me one last time.
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Ross: Yeah, you didnt expect her to live there with a baby did you?
[Cut to the jetway, the old man who the flight attendant delivered Rachel's message to gets off the plane, his wife still upset with him.]
Rachel: You dont pick me! Youre stuck with me!
Rachel: Phoebe, if this guys going through a divorce, is it such a good idea to start going out with him?
Dr. Johnson: I'm with Hamilton!
Rachel: Oh, there you are! Hi! Oh, so, so, how was China, you? (Hits him with the flowers.)
Chandler: It was terrible. I fought with (Pause) my colleagues y'know, the entire time. Are you kidding with this? (Throws away another Rollo)
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Rachel are on their knees with forks trying to salvage what they can of the cheesecake off of the floor.]
CHAN: Well is she... [reaches into the cookie jar for a cookie, takes his hand out, covered with pasta sauce]
Phoebe: If I havent said it before: shes a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going towhat the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which shes been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? Whats the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, its nice! May I try a pink one?
Ross: Come here. (he hugs Rachel) Listen, you deserve so much better than him...you know, I mean, you, you, you should be with a guy who knows what he has when he has you.
Joey: Then I blame you! Yeah! That's right! You threw me off with all your slapping!
Rachel: Something to do with numbers?
RACHEL: Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the uh, waiting thing?
Phoebe: Oh no. No-no-no, dont do that! How could I live with myself if I knew I was depriving the world of your music.
Monica: Did you ever go out with a guy your friends all really like?
(Joey totally agrees with this statement and kicks his feet up.)
Monica: Okay, but all right youre a guy, does it not freak you that youre never gonna sleep with anybody else?
Joey: (with food in his mouth) You talked to him. Are you crazy?
Rachel: Ill go with you.
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Susan: He carries it everywhere, it's like a security blanket, but with ski boots and a kicky beret.
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Monica: I just dont think arcade games go in the beautiful guest room. The beautiful guest room is gonna be filled with antiques.
RACHEL: What's the matter with you?
Mrs. Tribbiani: Why did you have to fill your father's head with all that garbage about making things right? Things were fine the way they were! There's chicken in there, put it away. For God's sake, Joey, really. (She gives the sofabed a tiny push and it folds away)
Monica: Do you really want a job with Popular Mechanics?
Joey: Pheebs, I am so sorry! I know I promised you a fun road trip with your friend and I didnt deliver. But-but-but now I know that you think being awake is an important part of friendship! So, so, so I will strive to-to stay awake for as long as I know you.
[Scene: A strip club, the girls are there with Chandler, who isnt enjoying himself.]
Ross: I went thru this with Ben and Carol. One cup of coffee won't affect your milk.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Joey: (He turns around to Chandler looking for approval to go with Rachel, Chandler mouths Come on!) (turning back to Rachel) Ross, did ask us first, and we set that night aside.
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
JOEY: How come Richard looks so much cooler with one of these than me?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Phoebe: I know! (Phoebe picks up a little packet of sugar, shakes it, and then realises she can't open it with one hand, but doesn't want to let go of Mike's hand. She tries to tear open the packet with one hand.)
Phoebe: Ugly Naked Guy's taking his turkey out of the oven. Oh my god. He's not alone. Ugly Naked Guy's having Thanksgiving dinner with Ugly Naked Gal.
[Scene: Ross's apartment. Ross is working on his laptop when Rachel enters with Emma.]
Phoebe: So Ross, how umm, how did it go with Bonnie?
Rachel: Okay. (Gets up and starts to leave with Paul.)
Phoebe: I cant believe that! Now the only thing left of my grandmothers legacy is this crumb. (She picks it up with her finger and holds it out to Monica.) I wish you a long and happy marriage.
Written By: Shana Goldberg-Meehan Transcribed by: Eric Aasen With Help From: Aaron Miller
[The next flashback is from The One With The Dozen Lasagnas, Phoebe is telling everyone but Rachel about the pass Paulo made on her.]
Chandler: With extra pulp?
Joey: Man, I wish Ross was coming with us! Y'know? I'm gonna miss him!
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, you dont want to do that, then youre gonna get stuck with Rachel and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Ross: No, but I wanna be. Hey, I will be. Besides, I'm with Charlie, right? Oh my god, I'm still with Charlie, aren't I? I mean, she didn't see the dance, did she?
Rachel: All right, yknow what? If you dont want to believe me about this, why dont you just come with me to dinner tonight and she will tell you.
PHOEBE: I'm not gonna. But you know what's cool though? Ok, if you had a friend named Pete, then I could say, 'Oh yeah, I know Pete, he's friends with my brother.'
Joey: Whoa, whoa, no, no, I-Im not playing with this guy, now.
Kathy: With a K.
Monica: Wait a minute! We're talking about someone that I'm going out with?
Monica: Oh, I can't wait for everyone at work to see these... (plays with her hair to make the shells tingle again) Ow!
(Ross walks down the aisle with Phoebe and Rachel on his arms.)
RACH: Why would I have to sleep with you?
Ross: And, I came up with Atlantic City.
Monica: What are you doing with those?!
(Monica sees a woman pass by with a baby, puts the phone to her chest, and starts to cry. Chandler takes the phone, makes a noise in it resembling static, and hangs up. Joey enters.)
Chandler: You said that you paid all that money because those boots go with skirts, dresses, and pants!
[Scene: Rachel's office, her desk is covered with stuff Ross has sent her.]
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Phoebe: No, Im really okay with this. Yknow why? Cause look at them, and I made that, so I know its gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, its gonna feel like a million times better, right? I wanna do this. (To Frank and Alice) I wanna carry your baby.
Ross: Look, you guys I just wanna say, I really, really appreciate you spending this time with me. Its been a pretty hard time right now, so I just wanna say thanks.
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Doug: Whats going on Bing? Does uh, your wife have a problem with me or something?