words in movies
(A good-looking woman approaches.)
Woman: Hi!
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Woman: Oh great! Well, tell him thanks. And since uh, Joey seems like such a nice guy, maybe we could go on a date sometime?
(A woman enters.)
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is giving the bill to the same beautiful woman from before.]
Woman: What do you mean? Yesterday you said I was too pretty to pay for stuff!
Woman: Amy!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is singing Happy Birthday to yet another good-looking woman. Gunther is watching and is not very happy.]
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Woman at door: Hello? Rachel?
Woman at door: It's your favorite sister.
Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy.
Woman on TV: Ohhh! Make it stop!
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
Woman: Ross!
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
Woman: Really?
Woman: Blind?
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
Woman: (To Ross) So, how did you propose?
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Woman: Thanks.
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one.
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Joey: Really? Think about it. Come on! You're a beautiful woman, smart, funny, we had a really good time, huh? If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
The Woman: Im Megan Bailey.
Monica: The woman from the museum called and said that there was a cancellation and that we could move up our wedding and Chandler heard! (Phoebe gasps.) I know! How bad is this?!
Man: Dr. Wells is a woman.
Lady: Oh, the woman upstairs is very nice. She and her husband have two kids, he's on Wall Street and she…
[Scene: The Laundromat, Rachel is fighting with that old, annoying woman for a cart.]
PHOEBE: Well I have a video, you have to pay attention. No this, this voice woman, she's so talented but, according to the producer people, they said she doesn't have like the right look or something, ya know. I mean, it's like, she's like one of those an imals at the pound who like nobody wants 'cause they're not pretty enough or you know. Like, like some old dog who's just kind of like stinky and. Huuuuh, oh my God, she's smelly cat. Oh, oh that song has so many levels.
The Woman: It-its really heavy.
Joey: Chandler, control your woman!
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Chandler: Jeez, man did you fall..(sees its a beautiful woman coming out of the mens room) Hi! So ah, did ya, did-did-did ya fall high?
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Phoebe: Oh, thank God, 'cause that thing's really creepy! (looking outside the window) Look, there's Chandler. (he's on the street, talking to a woman)
Chandler: (sighs and gestures to explain) There's a beautiful woman at eight, nine, ten o'clock!
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Nurse: (calling to the woman) This rooms available.
Phoebe: I'm a woman!
Mona's Date: Oh umm, I-I dont know if I want to wear a womans shirt.
Woman: Hi, is Molly here?
The Woman: Please, cant you help me out?
[Chandler tries to warn Phoebe that the woman is coming on to her, but Phoebe doesn't see him.]
Joey: She's this really boring woman. She's a teacher!
(Ross walks over to the woman, egg in hand.)
Woman: Excuse me.
Joey: That's like a woman wanting to be a...
The Girls: No!! (The woman backs out.)
Woman: Sarah.
(a woman walks in)
Rachel: Because Im married. Thats right, I am a married woman! And I came to a TV stars apartment to have an affair! Uck!
Chandler: Well, I then guess Im going to Yemen! Im going to Yemen! (To this old woman also going to Yemen.) When we get to Yemen, can I stay with you?
Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter (Good for her) but Okay, why not?
Ross: The woman just vanished!
Woman: (in a foreign accent) You are playing American football?
Joey: I hate this woman!! I hate her! She told everyone in the company about that info-mercial, and now they all keep asking me to open their drinks. Okay, and whenever I cant do it, theyre all like-like laughing at me.
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Gunther: (bringing Chandler a cup) This is from the woman at the bar.
David: (Stands up and speaks more loudly) Sorry, I wa- I was just saying to my friend that I thought you were the most beautiful woman that I'd ever seen in my- in my life. And then he said that- you said you thought
Woman: Jarvis?
Woman: (the same one from before approaches) Hi Joey.
The Woman: (after Monica gives her the candy) Thank you.
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
(Woman with huge breasts cuts across them. Takes Joey's coffee)
Ross: Hey! There are some men who will do whatever it takes to make their marriage work! Okay? There are some men who will stand by and-and watch as their wives engage in-in what only can be described as a twosome with some-some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Woman: Hey, hey, hey, her stuff wasn't in it.
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)
(A Chinese woman getting off the plane drops one of her bags. Ross gets off next.)
Woman: Wow, so your child is a big fan of the Waldo books too?
Mike: So what? I mean if even I can get past that, it shouldn't bother you. And you don't have to like her. You just have to accept the fact that I do. I mean, if you even can't be civil to the woman I love...
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Joey: I'll have you know that Gloria Tribbiani was a handsome woman in her day, alright? You think it's easy giving birth to seven children?
JOEY: Uh, well, kinda yeah. Like, remember last week when Alex was in the accident? Well the line in the script was, 'If we don't get this woman to a hospital, she's going to die.' But I made it, ' If this woman doesn't get to a hospital, she's not gonna live.'
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
Ross: Turns out this sweater is made for a woman.
Woman: Hi, were the Rostins. Err, Im J.C., and hes Michael, and were having a boy, and a girl.
Woman: We were surprise that we werent invited.
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
Woman: You already hit on me an hour ago
Joey: No, no no no no. See. Each woman is different.You have to appreciate their uniqueness.
Chandler: How can I not be upset? Okay? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out that she wanted you first!
Monica: You're the most incredible woman I've ever met. How can I lose you? (Phoebe looks very flattered) Now, I don't actually have a ring...
Woman: Oh hey, how are you?
Woman On Train: I made a bet with myself that you have beautiful eyes. Now that I see them, I win.
(Chandler lets her into the apartment and reveals that Monica is getting a massage from another woman.)
Woman No. 2: I thought you wanted to adopt your cat.
Monica: The woman that got married a bunch of times and killed herself when you were 13?
Joey: (entering) Look, what am I gonna do? I'm not flirting but still, I'm drawing her to me like - like a moth to a flame! (Tries to put his feet on the coffee table...they won't reach and looks around.) What the hell's going on over here?!?!? (Points to Chandler) Monica's gonna kill you! Look I need your help, I have to do something to-to repel this woman! Wait a minute, wait a minute, you guys repel women all the time.
Joey: Oh hey, no, you're not welcome. Okay, look, I hate this! You guys keep embarrassing me! (To Monica) Yesterday, Rachel found your razor in our bathroom and I didn't know what to say, so I said it was mine and-and that I was playing a woman in a play. And one thing led to another and (He puts his leg on the chair and pulls up his pants leg to reveal that he now has shaved legs.)
Joey: (laughs that one off) Yeah. So uh Ross, well nowwhy did that first marriage breakup? Was it because the woman was straight or she was a lesbian?
Woman: And also, congratulations on your wedding.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is eyeing a beautiful woman at the counter, and Joey and Chandler are egging him on to go talk to her. No pun intended. I mean it.]