words in movies
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
Woman: (to her friend) He has the most amazing Porsche under there!
[The next one is from Episode 613: The One With Rachels Sister, Chandler has just opened the door to reveal a woman standing there.]
Woman: Hi, is Rachel here? Im her sister.
Woman: Hey!
Woman: Excuse me, I-I couldnt help overhearing, youre marrying Chandler Bing?
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Woman On Train: Yes we are. So, coffee?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Chandler: So uh, what did this woman look like?
Woman: Im sorry, who are you?
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Ross: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. (A woman emerges from the toilet behind him and he tries to pretend he was in the other one)
Chandler: Calm down? Calm down? You set me up with the woman that I've dumped twice in the last five months!
Joey: I know, there are gonna be some pasty folks by the pool tomorrow! (A woman goes towards them)
The Woman: Ross, sweetheart!
Chandler: Well its just while Monica and I were dancing to them it was the first time I knew that you were the woman I wanted to dance all my dances with.
Chandler: Yep! And! A beautiful woman agreed to go out with me. (Theyre stunned.) Joey wanted to ask her out, but uh, she picked me.
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
Ross: Thats right! Thats right, dont you play a woman?
(An old woman pushes a cart full of books past.)
Rachel: (to the woman) Excuse us for a minute. (They go into the kitchen.) You didnt tell her to come?!
(A woman passes by, carrying newborn twins.)
Joey: A woman in a mans body.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
(A beautiful woman approaches.)
Woman: (To Joey) Is this yours?
Woman: Yknow, you look nothing like I wouldve thought. Youre youre so young.
Joey: Come on! Look just-just telllet her know that you really want them to be there. Lets not forget, this is a woman that has sent you many lasagnas over the years.
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
Joey: Oh-oh-oh-oh, how I do it is, I look a woman up and down and say, "Hey, how you doin?"
[Scene: The Semi-Private Labor Room, theyre brining in yet another woman.]
Phoebe: You apologize to the tree right now or I am calling for backup. (The woman calls her bluff.) (Screaming at no one in particular) Backup! Backup!!
[Scene: A newsstand, Ross is buying a magazine and gets in line behind a woman.]
ROSS: Go over there and tell that woman the truth.
Woman: Oh thank you.
Phoebe: Im just saying, this woman, I mean shes fictitious. No?
ROSS: Well, pretty incredible according to the message she left you on my machine. Hey, Chandler, why is this woman leaving a message for you on my machine?
Woman: Hi!
(A woman approaches.)
Woman: No.
Woman: Hi!
[Scene: The Launderama, Rachel is there, waiting for Ross. An old woman takes Rachel's clothes off the machine and begins loading it with her things.]
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Ross: Wh - No. Some woman who sounded a lot like Joey called earlier and asked for her daughter, the "hot nanny".
(He hurriedly checks his hair in his computer screen, before taking a sporting trophy from a drawer to place ostentatiously on his desk. An attractive young woman opens the door.)
Woman: I dont think so.
Waitress: (to the woman) $4.50 please.
Woman: Really?!
Woman: Wow!
Woman: Im Amanda.
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
The Woman Dealer: I don't know about the hands, but the guy that was here before me just went to the bathroom.
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
CHANDLER: Hear me out woman.� I'll go down the fire escape.� Then, I'll wait for a while.� Then, when I come up the stairs, it'll be just like I just got back from Tulsa.� Then, Joey and I will come in and see that there's no guy in here.
(A museum official enters with another man and woman.)
Woman No. 1: Eew! It's creepy looking!
The Woman From Poughkeepsie: (outside Rosss window) Ross? Ross! (she knocks on the window) Wake up! Ross! (the train starts moving) Ross! Ross!! Ross!!! Ross!!!!
MONICA: This wasn't addressed to Days of Our Lives, this is, this came to your apartment. There's no stamp on it, this woman was in our building.
Monica: You kissed another woman!
Rachel: My God. Okay. (Another woman enters.) Ha-ha-ha beat ya! Sucker!
Chandler: That old woman was being scammed by her mechanic.
(Another woman starts to enter.)
Woman At The Wedding: It didnt click.
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Rachel: Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves. And-and ohh God this is funny, look, this is a picture of one Halloween where she dressed up as a bride. (Shows Phoebe the picture.) And look, she made me carry her train, which was weird because I was Wonder Woman. Oh and heres a little purse that I found. (Hands her the purse) Yknow I just thought that maybe they could hold the rings in there.
Phoebe: Thank you. (To the other woman) No? (She nods.) All right. (She goes to another pairing.) Oh, its so nice to see you.
(This gorgeous woman in spandex walks up)
Boy in the Cape: Youre a mean old woman. (Runs away.)
Joey: I would say, "Woman, please!"
Monica: Do this for me! Come on, I catch you looking at womans breasts all the time!
Woman: It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl?
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Ross: Trying to date this woman.
Chandler: All right. Yes. Okay. I get your point. But if its not your bra will you just let the woman clean the apartment?!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, Dirk was wondering about the woman that you brought and if you guys were together, or...
Phoebe: Yeah... The woman you what?
Rachel: (To the woman sitting in front of her) He-he said Rachel, right? Do you think I should go up there?
Ross: Yeah, yeah, I was watching. (The instructor just nods and walks away.) Umm, hey, a couple of questions though. Umm, about that-that-that last move where the woman tripped you and then pinned you to the floor, what-what-what-what would you do next?
Woman at door: It's your favorite sister.
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up as her boss, Mr. Waltham, walks in.) Oh! Mr. Waltham, I ah really need to talk to you.
Woman at door: Hello? Rachel?
Woman: I was her accountant four years ago.
Woman at door in a sing song voice: Amy.
Woman on TV: Ohhh! Make it stop!
Chandler: Look, you have to help me! Okay? I mean, I know what to do with a woman, yknow, I know where everything goes, its always nice. But I need to know what makes it go from nice to, "My God! Somebodys killing her in there!"
Joey: Thank you all for coming. We're here today to pay respects to a wonderful agent and a beautiful woman... (Joey looks at the photograph) ..inside. As Estelle's only two clients we would like to say a few words. (Joey looks for his notes. The man next to him is chewing something.) Dude, where's my speech? (the man swallows something and looks at Joey.) That is entertaining. Al Zebooker everybody. (he applauds and Al shows that there's nothing left in his mouth.)
The Woman: I told em your candy is absolutely indescribable!
Monica: Hey! Mrs. Altman was the kind of woman you could tell she used to be pretty.
Woman: (To Ross) So, how did you propose?
Woman: Blind?
Woman: Ross!
Woman: Really?
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
The Woman: (exasperatedly) Yes! Yes! Please, just give it to me!
Monica: Honey, that's okay. I actually know this woman, Nancy, who's a restaurant biz head-hunter. Maybe she'll know of something.
Woman: Its a diaper genie.
Woman: Its actually a bassinet.
Mike: The woman I love... (he walks to Phoebe) I love you... Which is probably something I shouldn't say for the first time in front of my parents... and Tom and Sue...Who are by the way the most sinfully boring I've ever met in my life...
Ross: Yeah, it does sound interesting, I mean, to listen to a woman complain for two hours, I don't think it gets bett... (Ross starts snoring, faking to fall asleep)
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Woman: Oooh, that sounded like a bad one.
[Scene: The Lamaze class, several couples and one trio sit on the floor, introducing themselves to the teacher, whos got as far as a woman sitting next to Ross, Carol, and Susan.]
Woman: Thanks.