words in movies
Phoebe: No, no, no. It's not! It's not my mom. It belonged to mom. Yeah, no, she used to put it out every Christmas to remind us, that even though it's Christmas, people still die. And, you can put candy in it. (She grabs the skull, pulls out a stick of licorice, and takes a bite.)
Monica: Are you gonna dress up as Santa?
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Rachel: (to Monica) Did you know he was in there?
Chandler: Hey, you know what I was thinking? When we get married, are you gonna change your last name to Bing?
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey, you guys!
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Chandler: Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again?
Phoebe: Why do you think, she's having so much fun living with Joey?
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
Monica: Phoebe, don't worry about it. I'm sure she wants to live with you.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Maitre d': Oh-kay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
Monica: (pulling Chandler away from the Maitre d') You need to give him money.
Monica: No, to get a table! Places like are always shakin you down. Everybody wants to be paid off.
Chandler: Hey, I can be smooth. (Walks back to the Maitre d', very smoothly) Listen, we're a little bit in a hurry, so, if you can get us a table a little quicker, I'd appreciate it. (Shakes his hand)
Ross: Wooooooo, hehehe. Hey, ahh, you don't feel like you're gonna throw up, do ya?
Ross: Well, I do, so let's... (Ben and Ross sit down on the couch) So, Ben, you uh, you know what holiday is coming up, don't ya?
Ross: Yep, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
Ross: (interrupts him) Okay, that's right, yes, but on Hanukkah, uh, we sing, uh (Sings) Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made you out of clay.
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Ross: No, hey-hey, come on, (He grabs Ben and sits him on his lap) Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay? Hey, you're-you're his favorite little guy!
Chandler: How do you know so much about this?
Phoebe: So you like the drums! That's, that's great! Yknow, I was worried, that, you know, they would maybe an unbearable living situation. All right, okay, well, apparently not! So, yay!
Gunther: Here you go.
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
Joey: Thank you. (He gets up and puts on his jacket.) (Phoebe enters) Hey Pheebs!
Joey: Here. (Gives her the coins) Now I only owe you $49.50.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
Phoebe: Yes, thank you. You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Rachel: Joey, yknow that you could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Rachel: And that makes you angry because
Phoebe: Because you would rather live here with Joey.
Rachel: Where did you get that?
Phoebe: Monica and Chandler said that you were having so much fun here. And apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Rachel: Did you get all this stuff for Joey to try and drive me out of the apartment? Honey, if you wanted to do that, you might as well just gotten him a fish, you know how fish freaked me out!
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
Phoebe: Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me, but okay, if you're having so much fun over here
Rachel: Oh, it's so much more fun with you.
Salesman: Oh. Okay! How can I help you?
Ross: Well, uh, do you have a Santa-outfit left?
Ross: Okay look, do-do, you have anything Christmassy? I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him, um, come on, I uh, you gotta have something.
Ross: I'm the holiday armadillo! I'm a friend of Santa's and he sent me here to wish you (Points to Ben) a Merry Christmas!
Monica: Wow, come in, have a seat. You must be exhausted coming all the way from Texas.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ben: Are you for Hanukkah, too? Because I'm part-Jewish.
Ross: (gasps) You are? Me, too!
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Chandler: Well, I'm here to see my old buddy Ben. What are you doing here, weird turtle-man?
Ross: I'm the Holiday Armadillo, your part-Jewish friend. You sent me here to give Ben some presents. Remember?
Ben: Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo, and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence, I never thought I'd say.
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Ross: Thank you, but, but you gotta leave.
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: Well, I'll stay, but only because I wanna hear about Hanukkah. Ben, will you sit here with Santa and learn about Hanukkah?
(Ross mouths to Chandler, "Thank you," and he mouths, "Youre welcome," back.)
Rachel: (returning) Okay, remember uh, remember how you told me that your grandmother put up that wall to make that into two bedrooms?
Rachel: And remember how you always said you were afraid the landlord would find out and then tear it down?
Rachel: Do you really not know where Im going with this? (Phoebe nods, "No.") It left! Its one huge room!
Rachel: You cant, because of the new skylight!
Rachel: Pheebs is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
Phoebe: You heard her too?! You have the gift!
Phoebe: Are you sure?
Rachel: Oh please, I hate packing, its closer to work, and we do have fun. Although, Im really gonna miss living with you.
Rachel: I know. (They hug.) Oh-oh, wait did you hear that-hear that? Listen, Im gettin something from your grandmother, she said that since you get to keep the one bedroom apartment you should give Rachel the purple chair?
Rachel: Joey, would you just come out here and stop being such a baby!
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Phoebe: Well Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
CAROL: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Mark: How've you been?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Chandler: You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Chloe: What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.