words in movies
Phoebe: Listen, I need to ask you something. Ok, you know how my step dad's in prison.
Phoebe: No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it.
Phoebe: Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom...
Phoebe: So... what do you say?
Joey: Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored. (they hug)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Joey: (takes her hand) Listen, I hope... that you know... (has difficulty saying it) I don't want you to see your father cry, GO TO YOUR ROOM!
Phoebe: Well, I don't care, so you pick!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Monica: You don't know military time?
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Monica: Please... honey, leave the details to me. Now I wanna make this day as special for you as I can. Now, ok, I was thinking that the harpist should wear white.
Chandler: You look great. I'm so glad we're having this rehearsal dinner, you know, I so rarely get to practice my meals before I eat them.
Mike: Thanks for coming you guys.
Monica: (coming) Are you still crying about your damn baby? Pheebs, you gotta keep the line moving, remember, 20 seconds per person. Your see these clowns all the time! (she takes off)
Joey: You know, on the one hand you're happy for them, but on the other hand it's hard to let go.
Mike's father: Who in God's name are you?
Joey: Hey, I'm not that fond of you either, ok buddy? But I'm just trying to be nice for the kids!
Chandler: (to Rachel) You know what I just realized? We have no idea what we're doing in the wedding tomorrow.
Ross: Yeah, I thought we'd be groomsmen, but wouldn't they have asked us by now? When did they ask you to be their bridesmaid?
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Phoebe: I'm sorry you guys but, you know, Mike's got his brother and his friends from school so... you know, you were-you were... if it helps you, you were next in line, you just-you just missed the cut.
Chandler: Thank you.
Monica: Yeah, I changed them. I-I sent you a fax about it!
Mike: ...and I was wondering if... you know, maybe one of you guys... (Ross stands up)
Mike: You both wanna do it? Uhm... there's only room for one.
Ross: No, Mike, no, no. You wanna pick me, I mean... watch! (he mimics the groommens way of walking down the aisle with a bridesmaid) Huh?
Mike: You know, I really don't feel very comfortable making this decision. You know, Phoebe knows you better, I'm gonna let her choose. (he leaves)
Chandler: You are going downer!
Joey: So, you know I'm filling in for Phoebe's step dad, tomorrow, right?
Joey: Oh, a wiseacre. (Mike looks bewildered). No, no, no, I understand you plan to support your wife by playing the piano? Isn't that kind of unstable?
Mike: You're right. She probably will support me. Hey, unless we move in with you, dad?
Joey: Strike three! You only get one more, Mike!
Ross: So, what did you decide?
Chandler: Mike didn't tell you? You have to chose one of us to be in your wedding. One of his groomsmen fell out.
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Phoebe: Oh, I don't wanna choose! It's (Rachel is walking by). Oh okay, wait. Rach! Listen I have a very special bridesmaid task for you today.
Phoebe: Well, there's a spot open for only one groomsman and you have to choose between Ross and Chandler. So good luck with that.
Monica: You had a bathroom break at 2030. Pee on your own time, Mike! (to Phoebe and Mike). Now, in regard to the toast, okay, you wanna keep them short, nothing kills a rehearsal dinner like long speeches. Okay. You just get in, do your thing and get out!
Mike: Is that what you say to Chandler?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Phoebe: And... moment's over! (Rachel, Joey and Chandler all turn and look disapprovingly towards Monica but she just shrugs it off) So, ok, uh, I can forget that. I can forget that and uhm... (she's flipping cards skipping half of them) Oh this is funny! Oh, but you need to know that to... that, to... Oh, ok, well, uhm, I (Monica is miming CUT). Ok, ok, I, ok, I.... MONICA I CAN'T DO IT LIKE THIS! THIS IS MY WEDDING! OKAY, I DON'T WANT THIS (she mimes Monica's when she was twirling her hands) OR THIS (she taps her watch) OR THIS (she mimes CUT) OK? I JUST WANTED A SIMPLE WEDDING! WHERE MY FIANCEE CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM ANYTIME HE WANTS! (pause) You know what? You're done.
Phoebe: Oh, happy my wedding day to you!
Monica: Hi. About last night... I know you are under a lot of stress and even though the things you said hurt me a little bit... My point is, uh, well, I'm willing to take my job back.
Phoebe: Oh, well that's ok. I think you and I will do much better if you're just... here as a bridesmaid.
Monica: Oh, is that so? Ok. If that's really what you want, then here... I give you the headset. Well, I don't really want to give you the headset. Well I guess if you're taking over, you should probably return these messages. (hands her a stack of papers with messages and calls to return)
Monica: Uh-huh, but I'm sure you can handle this. I mean, I have won awards for my organizational skills, but, uh, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Phoebe: You won awards?
Ross: You haven't by any chance chosen a groomsman yet, have you?
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Rachel: Oh, you are the lesser of two evils!
Phoebe: Listen, Mike, if you were Swedish and you were saying the word "lorkins" what flowers would that be?
Phoebe: Right there! That's why I'm marrying you!
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
Joey: Have a seat. (Mike sits on his bed, and Joey towers over him. He starts talking in an Italian godfather-type voice) Last night, I tried to welcome you into my family... and instead, you disrespect me... (shakes his head) I cannot allow this.
Mike: (not amused) Are you rehearsing for some really bad mafia movie?
Mike: Joey, I kinda have a lot to do today, what do you want?
Joey: I want you to take this seriously! Phoebe is very very important to me, ok? And I wanna make sure that you are gonna take care of her.
Chandler: Hey, can I talk to you about this groomsman thing? If you pick Ross, he'll walk you down the isle just fine. But if you choose me, you'll be getting some comedy!
Chandler: Let me tell you why you need to pick me. (Goes to sit on the couch facing backwards to the kitchen. Rachel gets a chair and sits opposite him) See, when I was a kid, I was always left out of everything, you know, and it really made me feel... insecure. You know, I was always picked last in gym. Even behind that big fat exchange student who didn't even know the rules to baseball. I mean, this guy would strike out and then run to third. Anyway, If I'm the only one left out of this wedding, I just know that all those feelings are gonna come rushing back.
Rachel: All right fine, I pick you.
Mike: Uhm, did you guys know that there is a giant ice sculpture in the hall?
Joey: (staring at the ice sculpture) How bad do you want to stick your tongue on that? (They all glare at him)
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Chandler: You too.
Ross: Wait a minute, I know why I'm being such an ass, why are you?
Chandler: I'm not supposed to tell you.
Ross: I'm not supposed to tell you!
Chandler: You told us both we could be in the wedding? (they both stare at Rachel)
Rachel: Well, in my defense, you were not supposed to tell each other.
Ross: Rachel, only one of us can do it, you have to choose. You and me together again. (he winks at her and Rachel looks disgusted)
Chandler: I'll tell you at the wedding.
Rachel: You know what, I can't do this. I don't know which one of you guys to pick.
Mike: Oh, you haven't picked yet. Oh good, 'cause I had an idea. I thought it would be fun if the third groomsman was my family dog. Chappy.
Phoebe: Alright, wait, so what you're saying is that the chef is at the Hamilton Club, but the food is not and the drinks are there, but the bartender is not? Are you, are you FREAKING KIDDING ME!?
Phoebe: I want you to be Crazy Bitch again.
Monica: You really want me to come back?
Monica: Ok people, we are back in business! (Gets her headset out of her purse) Oh God, we've missed you soo much! (takes all the notes from Phoebe) Ok, go and get your hair and make-up done, and I'll take care of everything.
Joey: Hey, what are you guys gonna do?
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Ross: (To Phoebe and Mike) I can't believe you guys aren't going to be able to get married today.
Rachel: Wow, you know, it's so beautiful out there. You always wanted to get married outside. Why don't you guys just do it on the street?
Rachel: Well, look, it's hardly snowing anymore. I mean you couldn't ask for a more romantic setting. This could be the simple wedding you've always wanted!
Phoebe: (Turning to Mike) What do you think?
Mike: I think I wanna get married to you today.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Mike: Hey! You made it. Great! Chappy! Hi! (kisses his dad) Hi! (kisses his mom) Mom, I know getting married in the street isn't something you approve of...
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Ross: No, but Chandler, hello... Aren't you scared of dogs?
Monica: Okay, Joey's doing the ceremony and Chandler's giving you away.
Rachel: Oh Phoebe, I'm so happy for you honey. (she gives her a kiss)
Phoebe: Oh, thank you.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Phoebe: I love you guys.
Rachel and Monica: I love you.
Chandler: (to Monica) Is it okay that I want you to wear that head set in bed tonight?
Monica: (checking her clipboard) I have you scheduled for nudity at 2300 hours.
Rachel: Geez Ross, you could have showered.
Monica: Groomsman, groomsman, why are you just standing there, where is your bridesmaid? (into microphone) We've got a broken arrow. Bridesmaid down! (realizes) Oh, that's me.
Chandler: Wow! Aren't you gonna be cold?
Chandler: You look beautiful.
Phoebe: Thank you.
Mike: My God! Aren't you freezing?
Joey: Friends, family, dog... Thank you all for being here to witness this blessed event. The cold has now spread to my special place... so I'm gonna do the short version of this. Phoebe and Mike are perfect for each other. And I know I speak for every one here... when I wish them a lifetime of happiness. Who has the rings?
Phoebe: When I was growing up, I didn't have a normal mom and dad, or a regular family like everybody else, and I always knew that something was missing. But now I'm standing here today, knowing that I have everything I'm ever gonna need... You are my family. (She puts the ring on Mikes finger)
Mike: Phoebe you're so beautiful. You're so kind, you're so generous. You're so wonderfully weird. Every day with you is an adventure, and I can't believe how lucky I am, and I can't wait to share my life with you forever. (He puts the ring on Phoebe's finger.)
Phoebe: Oh wait, oh I forgot... and uhm... I love you... and you have nice eyes.
Mike: I love you too.
Joey: Oh, okay. Phoebe, do you take this man to be your husband?
(Joey has a "Yeah you do" smile on his face)
Joey: Mike, do you take this woman to be your wife?
Joey: I now pronounce you... husband and wife.
Joey: It was, yeah. I kind of don't want it to end. Hey, you wanna come in for a drink and a bite of corsage?
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: Oh, you didnt see the Post?
Ross: I can't believe you guys are moving in together. That's, that's great! I mean...I'm happy for you guys..
Chandler: (to Clunkers) It is so good to see you!
Chandler: It's up to you.
Monica: (shouting on phone) Wendy, we had a deal! (Listens) Yeah, you promised! Wendy! Wendy! Wendy! (hangs up)
Phoebe: You didnt leave lipstick marks on the phone.
Ross: You sure?
Rachel: Oh my god, oh, you guys are great.
Chandler: Is it just me, or can you actually see his abs through his overcoat?!
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Mr. Treeger: Could you tell Jasmine that I won't make it to yoga class today?
The Flight Attendant: (To Rachel) Thank you! (Not sure of herself) Enjoy your flight?
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Ross: Phoebe! You and I have never played chess!
Rachel: Hmm. Do you thinkCould you tell me if shes hanging in, in a one bedroom or a two?
Rachel: Oh, I know it. Youre right. Thats not sexy. Oh Oh! (Drops a fork on the floor.) Whoops! Oh, I seem to have dropped my fork. Let me just bed over and get it. (Tries too, but cant quite seem to make it.) Oh God!
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
RACHEL: And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven so the plate's gonna be hot but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
Chandler: You know who else picked Rachel? Ross, and you know what else Ross did? He stole my joke. You know what? Im going to get a joke journal. Yknow? And document the date and time of every single one of my jokes.
Monica: Did you two
Frannie: Are you kidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in his turtle for two years.
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Tag: Are you serious?
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Joey: So, did you uh, find anyone to marry you guys yet?
Ross: You like it?
Monica: Hi. Do you know what time it is?
Chandler: Nothing for you, you have Paolo. You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday: desperate scramble to find anything with lips just so you can have someone to kiss when the ball drops!! Man, I'm talking loud!
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Chandler: Phoebe, are you having a heart attack?!
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Tag: What did you say?!
Rachel: And I also wanted you guys to know that I am telling the father today. (They all look at her expectantly) What? What? What?
Julio: No, it's about all women. Well, all American women. You feel better now?
Chandler: Hey! So are you enjoying the bike?
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Chandler: Yep! From now on its gonna be the four of you guys and me and the misses. The little woman. The wife. The old ball and chain.
Monica: Umm, can we see you ride it?
Chandler: What is the matter with you?
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
JOEY: Ahh. What the hell are you doing to me man.
Rachel: Come on, please?! Im boredddd! You let me do it once before.
Ross: The judge wouldnt let us get an annulment! Now we gotta get a divorce!! Did a Porsch throw up on you? (Walks on.)
Phoebe: No, no, no! Don't call her! You wait for her to call you (Joey considers it)
Chandler: You mean they like you.
Rachel: (hugging him) So did you read your evaluation yet?
CHANDLER: For a minute there I thought you were actually tryin' to smell something.
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Joey: So youve just married the one time then?
ROSS: Look, you wanna get off my back?
Rachel: Yeah? Well, you should know. Youve bought like a billion of em.
Phoebe: You wont let go?
Chandler: Pheebs! We have to take you to the hospital now!
Chandler: Oh, because his penis was too big. (he notices that David is not amused) Oh, I'm sorry, that's the kind of thing I do. (pause) They broke up because Mike didn't want to get married. Hey, what if you just let Phoebe know you'd be open to marriage?
ROSS: Ok, we were sitting over there playing on the floor and he grabs the table and he pulls himself up. He pulled himself up. Standing man. I'm sorry you guys missed it but I did tape it so it you guys want to see it.
Monica: Ooh...hey honey, are you all right?
FRANK: Cool, alright. So maybe, ya know, I could give you a call sometime, we could talk or somethin'.
Rachel: Oh, you are a petty man. You are a petty, petty....
Monica: (to Chandler) Hey, you think, you can keep it another night? (She has a really teasing look on her face and keeps twirling Chandler's beard.)
Chandler: So uh Monica, do you, do you like the Law & Order?
MONICA: Ok will do. So glad you came.
Mr. Zelner: Uh actually, Id like to speak with both of you.
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
The Dry Cleaner: Thats right. Mr. Ford is a very good customer, he brings us a lot of clothes; you bring us nothing!
MRS. GELLER: [to Ross on the stairs] I have a wonderful idea. You should take Rachel to the prom.
Rachel: Youre out of toilet paper!
Ross: Well, Im-Im just glad I could, yknow, help you out.
Mr. Heckles: That's not my monkey. Just the dress is mine, you can send that back whenever.
Rachel: No! Phoebe just because I'm alone doesnt mean I wanna walk around naked. I mean, you live alone, you don't walk around naked.
Rachel: No, you couldve lost your job.
Chandler: What are you doing?
Monica: (To Chandler) Thank you.
Alan: I've heard schho much about all you guyschh!
Rachel: But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always put your comfort first.
Chandler: Youre welcome. (They kiss.)
Joey: No! No! No! Its different for you. Youre so strong and together. Youre not some dumb kid who doesnt know what shes doing.
Joey: Then why do you throw like one?
PHOEBE: No. You are the boss of you. Now you march your heinie in there and get that heart tattooed on your hip. GO!!
Joey: I just wanted to come by and yknow, wish you good luck on your date.
Chandler: Oh that's so cool! Why would a cop come in here though? They don't serve donuts. (No one laughs.) Y'know what actually, could you discover the badge again? I think I can come up with something better than that.
Phoebe: (entering) Oh, hey, you guys!
Rachel: You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Phoebe: (writing in her book) "You wish."
Chandler: Ohh! You guys gonna be living together again?
Chandler: Okay, so when do you want to go?
Joey: Yeah. What time are you meeting her?
Chandler: Stretchy pants! Why, those are the greatest things in the world! If I were you I would wear them every day, every day!
Ross: Phoebe, you cant massage people in my apartment!
Ross: All right! You go get him! Lets go!
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Rachel: how about I move in with you?
Ross: When you put a D at the end of Fine youre not fine.
Phoebe: So hes probably really nervous around women, y'know? Maybe, you just have to make the first move.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Ross: No, no, that-that, thats all right. Umm, Im just glad you called.