words in movies
RACHEL: Oh, Ross, you had to, I mean, he was humping everything in sight. I mean, I have a Malibu Barbi that will no longer be wearing white to her wedding.
ROSS: Remember when sometimes he'd borrow your hat, and, and when you got it back there'd be little monkey raisins in it.
MONICA: [reading] 'Dear Dr. Remore, know that I love you and would do anything to have you.' Gosh. 'Your not-so-secretive admirer, Erica Ford.' Ooh wait, 'PS enclosed please find 14 of my eyelashes.'
PHOEBE: Ooh, where are you off to, Travelin' Jake?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
LIPSON: Hi, Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. I was told you had a question.
CHANDLER: Well, you remember Cathy Bates in Misery?
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
ROB: You OK?
PHOEBE: No, uh-uh, I'm just, I'm nervous. So, you know what, maybe if I just, if I picture them all in their underwear.
PHOEBE: I'm just, I'm, I'm, I'm used to playing for grown-ups. Ya know, they just, grown-ups drink their coffee and do their grown-up thing, ya know, and kids listen. This is a huge responsibility. What? Are you gonna kiss me?
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
ERICA: Well, here we sit, devil may care, just a little while ago you were reattaching someone's spinal cord.
ERICA: Oh Drake, you are so talented, let me see those hands. Oh these hands, these beautiful hands, oh I could just eat them. . . but I won't.
ERICA: I don't understand, why didn't you help that man?
JOEY: Uhh, cause, uhh, I'm a neurosurgeon and that was clearly a case of, uh, uh, foodal chokage. Alright, look, I got to tell you something.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
PHOEBE: [singing] There'll be times when you get older when you'll want to sleep with people just to make them like you. . . But don't. Cause that's another thing that you don't wanna do, everybody That's another thing that you don't wanna do.
PHOEBE: Thank you for coming everybody. There're cookies in the back.
ROB: That was great, the kids loved you.
ROB: And you know why? Because you told the truth, and nobody ever tells kids the truth.You were incredible.
ROB: How did you know there was a but?
ROB: Because that would be fantastic. What? You wanna kiss me?
JANITOR: The zoo! Do you believe everything the zoo tells ya?
JANITOR: Of course they're gonna say he's dead. They don't want the bad publicity. It's all a great big cover-up. Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes?
JANITOR: Lipson knows. Do you have any idea who else knows?
JANITOR: So, what is this information worth to you, my friend?
ROSS: Are you trying to get me to bribe you?
ROSS: But you already told me everything.
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
RACHEL: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?
ERICA: How did you get here so fast, I just saw you in Salem?
ERICA: Sabrina. I know about you two. I saw you today kissing in the doctor's lounge.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
ERICA: You told me I was the only one. [throws a glass of water in his face]
JOEY: Alright look, that's it. I don't think we should see each other anymore, alright. Look, I know I should have told you this a long time ago but I am not Drake Remore, OK. I'm not even a doctor, I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor.
ERICA: How, how can you be here and there.
ERICA: Drake, what're you getting at?
CHANDLER: And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard. [throws water in his face]
JOEY: Yes, I'm afraid it is. You deserve much better than me Erica. You deserve to be with the real Drake, he's the one you fell in love with. Go to Salem, find him, he's the guy for you.
ERICA: I'll never forget you Hans. [Joey shuts the door in her face]
PHOEBE: I can't believe it. Did you tell your board about how kids want to hear the truth?
ROB: Maybe if you just played some regular kiddie songs.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
ROB: I'm not saying you have to be Barney.
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
ROSS: Uh, I'm sorry, you don't understand, I'm, I'm, I'm a friend of his. We uh, we used to live together.
CHANDLER: [to guys wering yellow isolation suits] So, are you guys in the movie, or are you just really paranoid.
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
CHANDLER: Do you know me or are you just really good at this game?
SUSIE: I'm Susie Moss. Fourth grade, glasses, I used to carry around a box of animal crackers like a purse. CHANDLER: Susie Moss, right, yeah, wow, you look. . . great job growing up.
SUSIE: Remember the class play? You, you pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants.
MONICA: The muscles from Brussels, wham bam Van Damme, did you see Time Cop?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
RACHEL: What, so you go over there, you tell him you think he's cute, what's the worst that could happen?
MONICA: Oh Rachel don't, don't you dare, don't, don't. Tell him I cook.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
RACHEL: I, I don't know, um, do you think you're cute? OK, we're kinda gettin' off the track here. Um, I was supposed to come here and tell you my friend thinks you're cute. So what should I tell her?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.
SUSIE: Um, so listen, how many times am I gonna have to touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date.
CHANDLER: Well, uh, let's try one more. . . there you go, say Ernie's, 8 o'clock.
RACHEL: Agh, what a jerk. I kept talking about you and he kept asking me out. I mean, naturally, you know, I said no.
MONICA: Rachel if you, if you want to go out with him, you can. Sound like a big jerk to me but if that's what you want to do...
RACHEL: Jean-Claude she said yes, I'll see you tonight. Thank you.
MONICA: Oh, I'll have an espresso. Oh acutally, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself.
PHOEBE: I know. Oh, like you would drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme.
JOEY: Yeah, unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons.
CHANDLER: Well then, how do you know when vegetables are done?
PHOEBE: Well you know, you juist, you eat them and you can tell.
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
MONICA: What did you say?
CHANDLER: Ahh, I believe my exact words were, 'Flaign,en - sten'. I mean I didn't know what to say, how do you know if you wanna do it on an elevator?
PHOEBE: Oh, you just know.
CHANDLER: Oh no no no no, no no no no no no, you see, what I had planned shouldn't take more that 2, 3 minutes tops.
SUSIE: But um, here's an idea, have you ever worn women's underwear?
SUSIE: Well I was thinking it would be um, kind of sexy if you wore mine tonight, at dinner.
CHANDLER: You want me to wear your panties?
CHANDLER: Well, if I was wearing your underwear then, uh, what would you be wearing?. . . You're swell.
ROSS: Hello. Oh hi, are you on your way ove-. Oh. No, no, I, I understand, I mean a monkey's gotta work. No it, it's no big deal, it' not like I uh, had anything special planned. Yeah OK, OK. OK, OK, bye.
PHOEBE: OK, Rachel, why don't you start talking first.
RACHEL: Alright, I feel that this is totally unjustified. [Monica starts making faces behind her back] She gave me the green light, I did nothing but-. Do you think I can't see you in the TV set?
PHOEBE: Alright Monica, if there is something that you would like to share...
MONICA: Ya know, you had no right to go out with him.
MONICA: You sold me out.
RACHEL: I did not sell you out.
MONICA: Yes you did. Absolutely.
RACHEL: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
MONICA: Did you just flick me?
RACHEL: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
RACHEL: Ow, you stop flicking.
MONICA: You flicked me first.
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
RACHEL: Oh, what do you, you want me to stop seeing him, is that what you want?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
RACHEL: Oh that's what you want.
PHOEBE: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
ROSS: Thanks for letting me tag along tonight you guys.
SUSIE: How you doin there squirmy?
JOEY: So, assistant to the director. That's a really exciting job, I mean, you must have a ton of cool responsibilities.
JOEY: So what're you guys gonna eat?
SUSIE: How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth and licking you all over?
SUSIE: I want you right here, right now.
SUSIE: If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them.
SUSIE: Alright. Now I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. Take your clothes off.
CHANDLER: OK, but uh, I hope you realize this means we're gonna miss hearing about the specials.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
SUSIE: Alright, turn around. Time to see you from behind.
CHANDLER: Well, you want me to uh, clench anything, or-... Susie? Susie.
CHANDLER: What, what's what you mean?
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
CHANDLER: That was in the fourth grade. How could you still be upset about that?
SUSIE: Well um, why don't you call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. [she leaves with his clothes]
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
MONICA: I can't believe this, just like 2 weeks ago I was watching Sudden Death, now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. Can you beat up that guy? [he nods] Can you beat up that guy?
MONICA: This is so wild. Ya know, I gotta admit, I was kinda surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date.
MONICA: Well, what made you make the exception for me?
VAN DAMME: 'Cause Rachel told me uh, you were dying to have a threesome with me and uh, Drew Barrymore. By the way, Drew has some groundrules and...
MONICA: Rachel, you say you're sorry or your sweater gets it.
RACHEL: OK, you wanna play? OK, let's play, let's play. [She grabs a jar of tomato sauce and Monica's purse]
MONICA: What're you gonna do?
RACHEL: You give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara.
MONICA: You don't have the guts.
MONICA: I'll help you fix your sweater.
RACHEL: I'll help you throw out your purse.
MONICA: I'm sorry that I made you stop seeing him.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
JOEY: Chandler? What're you still doin' here, I though you guys took off.
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
JOEY: Huh, you uh, you always wear panties?
JOEY: Wow, talk about your bad luck, I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
CHANDLER: No, no, you don't have to see.
CHANDLER: Alright, one of you give me your underpants.
JOEY: Can't help you, I'm not wearing any.
CHANDLER: How can you not be wearing any underwear?
CHANDLER: Alright look Ross I'll give you 50 dollars for your underpants.
CHANDLER: Hey Phoebs, can I have the milk after you?
JOEY: One of the virus victims called in sick, so Cathy recommended me and boom, I'm dying on the gurney. Oh Ross, Marcel just finished his last scene if you want to go down there and say goodbye.
ROSS: Ahh, oh that's OK, I mean, he's probably got, you know, parties to go to and stuff. But, ya know, he's moved on. Hey, that, that's the way it goes right.
VAN DAMME: [to Rachel] I'm sorry it didn't work out between you and me, [to Monica] or you and me. Drew was very disappointed.
VAN DAMME: Are you sure, I can crush a walnut with my butt.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
PHOEBE: You know, I think I want to write a song about all this.
CHANDLER: How long you been waitin' to say that?
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dead.
Rachel: Okay youre right. Ill hire Hilda tomorrow. Dumb old perfect for the job Hilda!
Dr. Green: Are you really pregnant?
Ross: Well, why dont you correct him?
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Chandler: Are you sure? Did you see the stain?
Rachel: Ross, you don't even have oven mitts on!
Ross: Yeah. Wait a minute. What are you doing here? Joey Tribbiani without a date on Valentines Day? Whats going on, huh? Girl trouble?
Phoebe: Another lie. You have a sickness!
Chandler: All right fine! But Im only doing this for you!
Ross: Yeah, uhm... I mean, Rachel and I, think you are great... with Emma... uhm... We just feel...
Gary: Take a seat. You okay? You feeling all right? (Closes the door and takes off his coat.)
Rachel: All right, you're the boss. I guess I gotta do what you tell me.
Chandler: What are you doing?
RACHEL: We love you, we're here for you.
Zack: Ok listen, you guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight and I'm flattered and... and quite frankly a little frightened. Can we just talk about something else?
Chandler: Would you please get some rest!
Ross: I have a bone to pick with you.
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Dr. Green: You did!
Joey: Why not? Youll feel better! Ill feel better, and you know you want to. I can see it in your eyes.
Ross: Oh I know, isn't it? Ooh... what'd you do to get her to laugh?
Chandler: I wasnt sure which one Mary-Angela was. (all of Joeys sisters gasp) Look, Im sorry okay, I was really drunk, and you all look really similar.
Ross: I was going to tell you, but
Phoebe: So what do you guys want for an engagement present?
Hooker: Do you mind if I smoke in here?
Paul: Ross, look, I know Ive been giving you a lot of jabs and its partly because Im very protective of Lizzie, and partly because well, they just keep coming to me. But I have to admit that after all the wonderful things that Lizzie has told me and the many, many, (pause) many stories that Rachel has told me that, well (pause) youre not (pause) all bad.
Ross: I mean, you just went out with my best friend, and I just think it'd be a really really bad idea. (pause) Or-or not! (they kiss passionately)
Monica: How can that be?! Oh wait! Wait! Are you, are you serious?!
Chandler: You do it!
Joey: You do it!
Phoebe: Of course you can take a couple days off work because this trip includes me!
Ross: Thanks guys! (They both sit down on either side of him.) I really appreciate this, yknow, but you dont have to rub my butt.
Joey: No, I-I miss hanging out with you.
Ross: (on the phone) No Mum, I'm not dead. I know it's not something to kid about. It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, ok? (pause) Actually no, even if I had died, you would not be left childless. (pause) Monica?
Ross: Thank you!
Phoebe: would you call this girl? (Puts on a crying act) thanks-fo-r-a-love-ly-even-ing
Rachel: What the... DIAL IT DOWN! (Joey goes to sit on the bed) Listen, ok, and maybe they're crazy thoughts, but sometimes I do, I have, I've been thinking about... you know, us! (looks at Joey, who's totally distraught) Ok, dial it up a little!
Ross: I really wish that you wouldnt.
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Chandler: Listen, I gotta talk to you.
Emily: I think youve got concussion.
Chandler: I'll catch you guys later. (Exits.)
Ross: Hey Rach, can I talk to you outside for a second?
Joey: Hey, that's why I didn't invite you. you have to calm down, alright... go, go get yourself a drink or something...
MNCA: Ahhh, hey honey? Don't you have to be at your interview now?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Phoebe: Oh, okay, (laughing) youre not a pushover.
Phoebe: (entering, quietly) Wow, you told your dad the truth.
Chandler: Youre arranging flowers! (Pointing to the dish on the table.) You got dead flowers! You got a picture, a picture, of a baby dressed like flowers! This is not Joey!!
Helen: (Over the intercom) So you still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
Chandler: No, it wasnt you.
Monica: Phoebe, they didnt make you pay for those knives, did they?
Joey: (laughing) You fall for it every time!
Ross: Dont thank me! If you wanna thank something, thank the volcano that erupted thousands of years ago, killing but perfectly preserving an entire civilization. (Rachel just looks at him.) Heres Warrens number.
Joey: But what about back home, anything going on there? Anybody you like?
Rachel: Well, so, are-are you sure that there are three?!
Phoebe: Cause youre still into Monica. So you told her there was somebody else so she would agree to work with you, so cause you figure oh if you spent a lot of time together, maybe something might happen, and...
Ross: Hey! Oh, Im so glad you guys are here. Ive been dying to tell someone what happened in the Paleontology department today.
Rachel: It wouldn't have mattered anyway, Phoebe, you and I are, are gonna live together, we're roommates; that's the deal.
Chandler: Okay, so now do you believe that she's attracted to me?
Monica: You too!
Charlie: Actually I did it Ross. You remembered shockingly little of your own speech.
Joey: Or! You can just, yknow (He walks up close to whisper in Rosss ear and when he gets there he pushes Ross into the fridge.)
Ross: Can I ask you something? Have you ever had a guy have a crush on you?
Rachel: Okay. So these signals Ross, explain this to me, cause maybe I need to be more careful. I mean, am I sending you these signals right now?
Monica: (to Janine) Youd better hope I dont see you in the hallway!! (They exit.)
Rachel: You stole them from me!!
Monica: Honey, umm I-I love you, (laughs) but umm, if you call our wedding a party one more time, you may not get invited. Okay? (Laughs) Listen, we could always earn more money, okay? But uh, were only gonna get married once.
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
Rachel: Noo!! No! You thought, you actually thought I wanted to have sex with you?!
Rachel: You cant, because of the new skylight!
Will: So what do you, what do you do now?
Chandler: You need new clothes.
Chandler: He was asking all these questions about you, me, and London. And, of course the glue that holds this all together, the rules.
Monica: Well, at least you have one thing to be happy about. That jerk Gavin from your office didn't show up (Gavin shows up at the balcony windows).
Will: Oh I-I remember you.
Will: You are unbelievable.
Rachel: Thank you!
Ross: Im just saying if you cant eat by yourself, how do you expect to have a baby by yourself?
Chandler: Yeah, oh, but I just keep picturing you rolling around with him with your cowboy boots in the air...
Phoebe: I think you do.
Chandler: (entering) You guys ready fore the movies?
Monica: Oh my God! Ross, you wouldn't believe the cute little noises the twins are making. Listen.
Rachel: You had a club?!
Rachel: Okay Monica, did you know about this?!
Mr Campbell: Maybe people... found it weird.... So, why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren?
Joey: Good-good, okay, sprinkle some of that on your legs, it'll absorb some of the moisture and then you can get your pants back up.
Monica: You started that?!
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
Joey: You are my Everest.
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Kim: So it's down to these two, Nancy I know you like this one and I think I agree. Rachel, what do you think?
Ross: Oh-oh, were you, were you watching?
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Ross: It was no big deal. We-we said that the rumor was that umm you had both male and female reproductive parts.
Chandler: (pointing at the video) Why did you get me this?
Stripper: All right, whenever youre ready. (She goes into the bedroom.)
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Phoebe: (starting to cry) Thank you so much.