words in movies
[Scene: The Buildings Roof, the entire gang plus Tag are there to look for a comet. Theyre looking for a comet on a roof of a New York apartment building. Yeah, thats realistic. You might as well look for the moon on a bright sunny day.]
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Tag: Hey, I wonder if you can see my apartment from up here.
Rachel: No. No, you cant.
Ross: Man, look at all those stars! (Yeah, you can see what? Five of them from the city?) Infinite space. It really, really makes you wonder, doesnt it?
Joey: (looking through his binoculars at a nearby building) Yknow what else makes you wonder?
Joey: Then why are you wearing Monicas jacket?
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Monica: Deep Impact was the one with Robert Duval, Armageddon is whats going to happen to you if you wake me up.
Chandler: Sorry, I just cant sleep. Ooh! (Turns on the light and Monica groans.) Where is that book that you are reading with the two women who were ice-skating and wearing, wearing those hats with the flowers on it? Because every time I look at that cover Im like (Fake snores.)
Monica: It is in the living room where there is also a light! And no one will kick you in the shin.
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Monica: With a wok? (Chandlers holding a wok.) I thought you were going to read my boring book to put you asleep.
Chandler: It got interesting! Damn you Oprah!
Chandler: Okay, so how bummed were you when the second sister died huh?
Rachel: You wanna go in the bedroom? Its a little more comfortable.
Rachel: Okay. (They start to head for the bedroom) Oh wait! Umm, did you send those contracts to Milan?
Rachel: No seriously, yknow the contracts I gave you, did you overnight them?
Rachel: Okay please tell me that this is just one of your jokes that you do that I dont get.
Rachel: Yknow, like the thing when you put the phone in your pants? (He starts laughing.) Tag! Im serious! This isnt funny! Those contracts absolutely had to go out today!
Tag: Rach, Im sorry, but you didnt give me any contracts!
Tag: Im telling you, you never gave them to me.
Rachel: Yknow what Tag, if we went down to the office you would see those contracts sitting on your desk.
Tag: No, I would see you looking embarrassed because they are not on my desk!
Rachel: Or maybe you would see me looking embarrassed because you are talking on the phone with your crotch!
Tag: You wanna go down to the office right now?
Rachel: Okay get your coat! (They get their coats and start to leave. Rachel suddenly stops and sticks the hand up the back of her shirt.) Oh! When did you unhook this? (Her bra.) Nice work!
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Ross: Yeah! Oh yeah, youll be fine! It-itll be uh, just like bungy jumping. Yknow? But instead of bouncing back up you-you wont.
Ross: Well, Im gonna lie to you Joey, its a possibility.
Joey: (looks at the ground and at Ross) I dont know Ross! I-I tell you what, lets flip to see who does it, okay? You-you call it in the air, all right?
Ross: Oh, all right. (Joey flips the coin.) Tails! (The coin bounces off of the landing above them and falls to the ground.) Can you-can you see what it is?
Ross: Okay. Well, you be careful.
Phoebe: Okay. So, this wire is connected to this wire which plugs into here. (She points at each as she says it.) Okay so, to get the beeping to stop all I have to do (She picks up a shoe and proceeds to pummel the smoke detector. She then gets up and heads to bed, stops, quickly turns around, and is satisfied that the beeping has stopped.) Well done, Pheebs. (She resumes her trek to bed, but is stopped at the entrance to the hallway by the now steady and extremely loud tone emanating from the smoke detector.) (Yelling.) What do you want from me?!!!!!!!
Monica: Okay, heres your milk. What do you want to talk about? (She sees that Chandler has fallen asleep and slams the door loudly to wake him up.)
Monica: Ohh! Ohhhh! Were you sleeping sweetie? Im sorry. Here. (Hands the mug of milk to him.)
Tag: Okay! Feel free to look, but Im telling you those contracts are not on this desk.
Rachel: Oh how can you possibly know? Look at this mess, Tag! I mean, this is what Im talking about! You have to be organized! Youve got newspapers! Youve got magazines! You gotOhh! (Finds a picture.) And who is this chippy? A little young for you Tag, but whatever.
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Tag: So when do you imagine you gave them to me? In the morning or in the afternoon?
Rachel: In the afternoon. Mr. Zelner came into my office after lunch. He put them on my desk, and then I put a Post-It on it (Looks down onto her desk and finds the folder with the Post-It on it that contains the contracts she imagined she gave Tag) that said, "Must go out today." So you just keep looking in there! All right?
Rachel: Puzzler. A bit of a puzzle. Why dont you um, check the copy room, maybe you left the contracts in there?
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Monica: Are you still awake?
Chandler: Yeah! You?
Monica: You do know that was me who just said that right? (He doesnt respond and she turns on the light, waking him.) Hey. As long as were both up
Chandler: (intrigued) Yeah? (Monica nods yes.) I hope youre not thinking about cleaning the living room.
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Ross: I dont think so. Hello? (Knocks on the glass, which angers the big, large, angry dog behind the glass and causes them to jump to the other side of the landing.) When you get in there (Joey nods his disapproval.)
Phoebe: Okay, this is where you and I part ways. (She drops the blanket into the chute.) Noisy bitch!
Monica: What?! What are you doing?!
Chandler: Do you know what just happened?
Chandler: No. We were in the middle of sex and you fell asleep.
Monica: Nooo! No, thats not true. No, best time ever! Yeah, you rocked me world! (She turns out the light to go back to sleep.)
Chandler: I was giving you some of my best moves, and you missed it. So please wake up so we can do it right!
Chandler: Yeah! (Monica falls asleep) No! No! No! Dont fall asleep! Okay, I am going to make you some coffee. (Monica doesnt move as he gets out of bed and as hes heading for the door.) And I probably wont spill coffee grounds all over the kitchen floor.
Rachel: Hi! I got you some coffee. To, uh (She looks for a place to set it on his messy desk and he clears a spot for her to set it down.) fair enough. So! Do you got anything for me?
Rachel: Oh my God! Did you check your entire desk! Did you check all the drawers!
Tag: Do you want me to check again?
Rachel: Well yeah, I wish that you would. (He opens the top drawer.) Well, no its not in there! (Closes it.) How about that drawer? (She points to the bottom one and he opens it. She doesnt see the folder she planted and bends over to check.)
Rachel: Can I see you in my office for a minute?
Tag: (entering) Yeah? (She holds up the folder) You found them!! (Rachel is not amused, because shes still going to try to blame him for her mistake like every good boss.) Yknow what? Im not even going to gloat. Im just really relived this whole thing is over.
Rachel: You put these on my desk!
Rachel: Oh really? So youre saying they just slid out of your bottom drawer, crawled across the floor, then jumped on to my desk?! (I think Dogbert should have a line here.)
Tag: How did you know they were in my bottom drawer?
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Phoebe: Oh my God! How did you get back here?!
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Phoebe: How do you know?
The Fireman: The next time you want to dump a fire alarm in a trash chute, dont wrap it in a blanket that says, "Property of Phoebe Buffay not Monica."
Phoebe: Okay do youOkay, do you have a search warrant? Because the last time I checked this was still America!
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Ross: Okay, do-do you have a good grip?
Ross: Okay, Im going to start climb down you now.
Joey: (grunting) Oh my How much do you weigh Ross?!
Ross: So what do you want me to do?
Ross: (looking down) M-maybe I should hang and you can climb down me.
Joey: Ross, you should know that my pants are startin to come down and Im not wearing any underwear!
Chandler: Hm-hmm, I told you! (Looks at the clock) I cant believe that Ive only got two hours before I call in sick for work.
Chandler: Well, youre not gonna believe this, but if you have seven minutes
Chandler: Do you wanna?
Monica: Okay! You get the vacuum cleaner and Ill get the furniture polish!
Monica: Okay you were right! All right, I never should have bought them! Theyre killing me! One toe at a time!
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Ross starts talking over her 'do you remember' line: Amy. I'm going to save you some time, ok. <spins finger around in circle> All me.
Woman: (To Ross) So, how did you propose?
Kathy: Hey, Chandler! What are you doing here?
JOEY: I don't need to think about it. I was Dr. Drake Remoray. That was huge. Big things are gonna happen, you'll see. Ross, you still there?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Chandler: Joe, I told you, you're just not right for the part.
Joey: Ma, I don't mean to be disrespectful, but... what the hell are you talking about?! I mean, what about you?
Joey: Then you go to Tokyo.
ROSS: Oh. How do you uh, ya know, keep it so neat?
Monica: Oh, by the way, you are more than welcome to look under any of the furniture, because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there!
Ross: I love you too, and I'm never letting you go again.
Joey: Well, actually the last place you were sitting was in there (points to the bathroom). Soo...
CHANDLER: (thinks, then turns to Monica) I climb down the fire escape and you can't put that in the closet?
Rachel: I know you did! I bought the same one! And if she sees your table shes gonna know that I lied to her. I told her ours was an original.
Paul: What do you need from the car?
Rachel: (entering) Hi! Are you ready? We're gonna be late!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: I dont wanna know what Monica got me. Yknow? I mean, look, Im sure she worked really hard at getting you a present, and wanting to surprise me, and you guys are gonna ruin that, and I, look we have to put these back, this is not what Christmas is about.
Chandler: Alright! That is it. This is our apartment and you can not behave this way. Now if you can't act your age then you shouldn't be here at all. Now those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones I picked out, but they're very important to Monica. I want you to apologize to her right now.
Ross: Well I I told him that if he ever hurt you I would hunt him down and kick his ass! (The girls all laugh.) What?! What?! What is the matter with everybody?! I am serious! I would kick his ass! (The laugh harder.)
JOEY: Oh come on. Nobody likes two different kinds of eggs equally. You like one better than the other and I wanna know which.
Phoebe: Hey, look who's up! How do you feel?
Ross: Getting married. (Chandler panics.) Okay. Okay. You can, you can do that too! Just like youve done everything else!
Monica: All right okay, just so you know, Im not gonna make a turkey this year.
Ross: Hold on a second, alright? Just think about what you went through the last time you quit.
Joey: (To Mr. Treeger) So you ah, ready for our last practice?
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Mr. Tribbiani: Thank you. Uh...
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Phoebe: You heard her too?! You have the gift!
Gavin: Look, I'll just give you this and go.
ERICA: No, no no no, you don't have to tell me anything. You don't have to explain yourself to me. Ooh, who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Remore?
Rachel: No, no, no, you said, "got the keys".
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
PHOEBE: Oh, c'mon, like you tell me everything.
Rachel: Oh. Look at you making up crap for me. Oh God! (Starts another contraction as Dr. Long enters.)
Monica: Wait, youre giving me your Porsche, youre kidding me right?!
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
Rachel: Hey Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: Wow, a year and a half ago I didnt even know I had a brother, and now I have a sister too. (They all hug, and Frank and Alice start kissing.) Okay. Okay. Stop it, dont. So, I gotta get you a gift now. Is there anything you need?
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Ross: Here she comes. Dont say a word, okay? Just be cool, dont be y'know you.
Gunther: So I understand youre looking for a place.
Phoebe: You can still sleep at night and stuff.
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Rachel: Oh, really, really good. But enough about me, come on! Where-where are you from? What do you do?
Rachel: Youd be okay if you knew that Mark had kissed me, and been naked with me, and made love to me?
Monica: Umm, wait! Do you want to set the mood a little?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Phoebe: Then its really too bad that you cant tell me.
Frank: Hey, yknow I was thinking, what are the odds like if-if, if you stuff like 200 of them in there?
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Janine: Are you guys going to Chandlers for Thanksgiving?
The Dry Cleaner: You, get out of my shop!
Mr. Franklin: Oh then you know each other.
Rachel: You had to do it, didnt you? You couldnt just leave it alone.
Rachel: (gets up and opens the door) Hi Tag! What are you doing here?
Mike: Oh, it's just... It's up to you. It's your name. You've got to live with it.
Monica: I guess that makes sense. So, you think youre going to talk to him?
Monica: So, do you guys wanna come and eat dinner at the restaurant sometime in the next few weeks?
ROSS: No. Look, I told you I am not a part of this thing.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Joey: You know more than one Fun Bobby?
Janice: Okay, you know, one of two things is happening here. Either you're seeing somebody behind my back, which would make you the biggest jerk on the planet. Or, else you're pretending that you're seeing somebody, which just makes you so pathetic that I could start crying right here in the cereal aisle. So like which of these two guys do you want to be? (another guy walks by)
Chandler: Youre right, and Im sorry! This means a lot to me! I want you to be my friend again! I swear, I wont say another word tonight.
Mike: Oh, err... no, she's not here yet. You know, I think I'm just gonna take off and break up with her over the phone...
Monica: So, are you ready to go?
Joey/Drake: Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question...
Ross: That does not sound stupid to me. You know, it's like the first time I had to make dinner for myself, after Carol left me? (the buzzer on the washer goes off) I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross...(opens up the washer) Uh-oh.
DELIVERY GUY: Right. Could you sign this?
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Joey: (to Chandler) You son of a bitch!
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Chandler: (still helium voice) Right behind you, big guy! (they both head for the door)
Chandler: Which technically now you should give back!
Customer: Do you know who at my office?
Chandler: So youre just, kinda rubbing it on yourself?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Chandler: Right. So uh, have you written yours yet?
Chandler: And that doesn't scare you? (He walks out)
Katie: Okay. It was nice to see you.
Monica: Oh, good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Phoebe: Well, you know what, they're our responsibility now.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Chandler: So, you stole my joke, and you stole my money.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
Joey: Hey Mon, you might wanna make some more lasagna too, because something mightve happened to a huge chunk of it.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?
Monica: Okay. Dont you want a cookie?
RYAN: Why aren't you at home in bed?
CHANDLER: So, uh, you met someone, huh?
Chandler: Yes, here it comes! Im stuck here all day, and then you come in and spend two seconds with us and then expect to go off gallivanting with your friends? Well I dont think so mister!
Chandler: So you kissed her, so what happened after that?
Chandler: You really think that is what he meant?
Chandler: Now that you live next door, we can be together every day. Sid and Monica never have to know a thing.
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Phoebe: Yeah, but youve got to pull yourself together! Monica cant see you like this! Then shell know somethings wrong!