words in movies
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Are you all right?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: You just said
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Chandler: Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Dr. Green: So? Come on! Explain yourself Geller! First you get my Rachel pregnant!
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Frank Jr.: Oh, I think you're right. Oh, wow. Phoebe, I don't think I can give one of them up. I mean, you know, they drive me crazy, but they're my babies.
Robert: We could write it down for you?
Chandler: But Ill tell you something. One of these days were get off of our buts and rent Die Hard again!
Ross: Thank you.
Monica: You bet your ass, Im gonna fire you! Thank you.
Rachel: (deals new hand) Boy, you really can't stand to lose, can you? Your whole face is getting red... little veins popping out on your temple...
ROSS: A tattoo? Why, why would you want to do that? [to Rachel] Hi.
Ross: Sweetie, now I pick you.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Chandler: Were you so late because you were burring this woman?
Cecilia: Well, its nice to know that you
The Salesman: You dont have, anything?
Monica: Maybe Joey doesnt have to give you the money, TV stars have assistants right?
Monica: Are you alone?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh hey! Hey uh, you remember the necklace I gave you last year? Can I see it?
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Rachel: You mean, you mean 30 days?
Ross: Rach, I told you, you can't call him every time any little thing comes up.
Rachel: Well, not myself, but I know other people that have. Ok, you caught me. I'm a laundry virgin.
Gunther: YOU IDIOT!!!!!
CHANDLER: No. I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever.
Chandler: So uh, what are you in for?
CHANDLER: You know, I don't think we brought enough stuff. Did you forget to pack the baby's anvil?
Monica: What-what are you doing? Is this supposed to be funny?
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Phoebe: Thank you!
Chandler: Are you aware that you're still talking?
Ross: Well isnt there something you can do to earn a little extra money? I mean, cant-cant you pick up, I dont know, an extra shift here?
Rachel: Y'know honey, umm, as uh, as flattered as I am that uh, you saw me first, uhh, I just, I-I don't think we should be cranking anything up.
Rachel: But Ross, its you and me!
Phoebe: Well, look, whatever happens, we’re here for you and we love you.
Ross: (to Monica) You wanna wander in the hall? (to Ben) Ooh, hey Ben, what if the Holiday Armadillo told you all about the festival of lights?
Chandler: (To Monica) Have I got a surprise for you? Pack your bags!
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Ross: You okay?
Monica: Oh no, two days, you must be bummed.
Chandler: Its a big company, I dontif youI
Chandler: What 'not work out'? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. Didn't you listen to the story?
Ross: Oh, great! Listen, oh I had to get you a whole new battery. I got you the best one I could, cause thats not where you want to skimp.
Dina: Look, Rachels told me how much easier youve made all this on her. Why cant you do that for me?
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?
Krista: You are! (Hits him softly.)
Monica: Uh, you left out the stupid part.
Rachel: what, how do we know, we never slept with you.
Chandler: And here is the bottle of wine for you to bring over tonight. (Hands it to him.) You were also going to buy Monica flowers but you couldnt afford it, because you paid dinner last night.
Phoebe: Oh I-I dont know about that. No, I think that if the two of you had sex the-the-the repercussions would be catastrophic.
RACHEL: Uhh, let's just stay clear of 'I'm the guy that's doing you daughter' and you should be ok.
Joey: Rach, I told you everything I knew last night! Look, it's not that big of a deal, so Monica and Chandler are doing it.
Monica: (naughty in doorway) Welcome home. I�ve missed you. join me in the bedroom?
JOEY: Let me get that. (to Chandler) You got five bucks?
Ross: Huh? Yeah, fine, invite whoever you want.
Phoebe: That would be great. Thank you.
Phoebe: All right, Ill see you downstairs then.
MONICA: No. Big deal, so you have a side of the bed, everybody has a side of the bed.
Cecilia: Well, you certainly own that room.
Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?
Monica: Why? (in a motherlike tone) Do you have a report due?
Rachel: I could not have done this without you.
Chandler: Yeah. Youre right. Hey I-I can do that.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Joey: Look, we probably should have talked to you about this before it ever happened, but..
Ross: Of course I was mad! I told you I-I hate this stuff! Okay? It-its not funny!
Joey: Well, youre amazing.
Monica: Im fine. (She goes into one of those half sneezing, half-coughing fits that you get with a bad cold or flu.)
Mr. Oberblau: I'm just saying, I have a cabin in the Adirondacks if you ever want to get away from the city, well, that'd be (pause) just nifty!
Ross: Oh well yeah, actually I was going to talk to her when you guys all came in the room.
Chandler: C'mon, I'll show you to my room. ...That sounds so weird when it's not followed by "No thanks, it's late."
Ross: Hey, uh, you can ignore that.
Joey: oh and you know what you should bring the black see-through teddy with the attached garters. (Nods)
Monica: I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a, a big baby.
Ross: You think?
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Joey: Hey, Im with you. He even asked me if I thought youd go out with him.
Phoebe: WellButNow, if-if you can achieve positronic distillation of sub-atomic particles yknow before he does, then he can come back. (They hug again.)
Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Chandler: (Suddenly bright) Would you like to have dinner sometime?
Joey: What-what are you guys doing here? I thought I told you not to come.
Chandler: Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls in a week!
Monica: What are you smiling at?
Phoebe: But people that you don't know and will never see again.
Chandler: Wow! (To the sock bunny still on his hand.) You are way to young to have seen that!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Lewis: Because Im in love with you.
Monica: Rach, youre gonna come though arent you?
Rachel: What did you just say?
Ross: Oh whats the big deal?! I wasnt even invited to the ceremony, just the reception. And-and yknow what? If it makes you feel any better, Joan and I will just make an appearance and then, and then well-well leave early as a sign of protest.
Phoebe: Okay, obviously you dont know much about the U.S. government.
Chandler: Plus, you look cool.
Rachel: Oh uh-uh pal! Dont call me mommy! Its bad enough you call your own mother that. (He looks at Monica.)
Monica: Phoebe! You're sick, you shouldn't play. You should just go home, get in bed, and stay there.
Rachel: Yeah! Im gonna have a boyfriend, youre gonna have a girlfriend
Chandler: Thank you, sir.
Phoebe: Yeah, but this (makes Monica's face) isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. Ok, this (makes Monica's face) is the face of a person who, you know, doesn't trust a person.
Ross: Rach, I got a message from you.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Chandler: No, no, no-no-no. I smoked for years, then I quit. Right now, I can�t remember why. (to everyone:) You�re not allowed to smoke in this office. Not right?