words in movies
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Are you all right?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: You just said
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Chandler: Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Mike: But if you wanna get married why didn't you say something before?
(Chandler takes Monica's hand, and gets serious) Look, before we sign anything we really have to talk...(pause) We're not who you think we are.
Chandler: Ok, so now that you're in, what are you gonna do if we win?
Phoebe: How can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Phoebe: Oh can I? Vegetarians never get to do the wishbone. It's really not fair either! You know, just because we don't eat the meat doesn't mean we don't like to play with the carcasses!
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Monica: Joey!! What the hell were you doing?!
Monica: All right, well call you when we get back.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Chandler: Whoa-ho, whoa! No, I was thinking about y'know for me, as a part of that whole getting over Janice thing you were talking about.
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, Ive-Ive been dating both of you, and its been really horrible. Cause y'know its been a lot of fun, for me. Umm, but I-I like you both, and I, and I didnt know how to chose, so... Im sorry, Im just, Im terrible, Im a terrible person. Im terrible.
Ross: I just wanted to tell you something before you heard it from someone else and I hope this isn't too weird, but uh, I had uh, a thing with Janice. (He laughs, his real laugh this time.) What you're-you're not mad?
Phoebe: Yes, yes I do. God, oh its just perfect! Wow! I bet it has a great story behind it too. Did they tell you anything? Like yknow where it was from or
Chandler: I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now, go hide. (Ross hides in the bedroom again)
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Ross: Thanks you guys. (Walks away happily and his parents smile.)
Phoebe: Oh my God, you guys are selling the entertainment center?
Chandler: Well I'm not showing you my 'tat.'
Dr. Harad: Okay. You ready to push again?
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Tim: Thank you so much! Cause I-I know I can do better!
Phoebe: (to Robert) Youve have lipstick right here (points to her cheek). Thats okay, its mine, we just kissed.
Woman: (To Ross and Rachel) Congratulations you two!
Joey: Okay. Now youre gonna want to have sex with me when you hear it, but you have to remember it is just the story.
Monica: (still talking to the woman) All right, Ill do it just this once! But you cant tell anybody!
Rachel: Yeah! I'm going to Paris. Thank you, Ross!
Monica: Isn't that sad? I mean, can you see how pathetic that is? You shouldn't be jealous. You should feel bad for him.
ROSS: You got me a cola drink?
Phoebe: I'm sorry, Frank. I didn't realise things were so bad. You know, I'll help out more. I can - I can babysit any time you want. You name the day, and I'll be there.
Joey: If you want, Ill sell my friends and use the money to buy you presents.
JOEY: Hey, look, since we're neighbors and all, what do you say we uh, get together for a drink?
Receptionist: The doctor will be right with you sir.
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
Joey: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?
Chandler: I thought maybe you got me porn for Valentines Day.
RACHEL: But I do not want to have everything decided for me. I spent my whole life like that. It's what I had with Barry, that was one of the reasons I left. I, I like not knowing right now and I'm sorry if that scares you but if you want to be with me you are gonna have to deal with that.
Joey: (standing behind her) Uh, you gotta press the button. (Does so.)
Rachel: Do you have any ice?
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Joey: You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.
Rachel: (coming down the stairs) Hey! (Ross jumps up, and quickly puts the letter back together, pretending like he has just finished it.) What happened to you? Why didnt you come up?
Monica: (To Rachel) Apparently you were umm, a little mean to him in high school.
Steve: Yeah, he's the handy man. He's gonna be retiring next week and everyone who lives here is kicking in a 100 bucks as a thank you for all the hard work type of thing.
VAN DAMME: You don't think I'm cute?
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
Joey: Oh hey, you should be excited about him. Theres nothing wrong with him hes a good guy.
Joshua: All right, thank you so much for all your help.
Rachel/actress: It's over! You have to accept that.
Joey: Whoa-whoa you guys, it's not a cat!
Ross: (on the phone) Ive been thinking, this is crazy, I mean dont, dont you think we can work on this?
Phoebe: If you wouldve let me finish, it goes on to say that hes probably not gay.
ROSS: What? You have a date? Who with?
Joey: Youre not stupid. Youre meaner than I thought.
Rachel: Since when do you watch the news?
Phoebe: So have you decided on a band for the wedding? Because, yknow, Im kinda musical.
Monica: Are you serious? (they all look) Oh my God.
Rachel: Well, you more then me, but he cant stay to mad at me. I mean, I just had his baby.
Melissa: Hmm Phoebe, were you ever in a sorority?
Rachel: Do you want me to quit?
Joey: Maybe you could take Charlie shopping.
PHOEBE: No. What do you, what do you want me to be, like some stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur?
Joey: You were supposed to duck!!! Why didnt you duck?
Charlie: And you know, you can just give me my stuff whenever you want.
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!
Judge: Now it also says here that you lied about your sexual preference before marriage?
Mindy: (to Rachel) You did it twice?
Rachel: I mean, do you think there are people who go through life never having that kind of...
Chandler: Why are you so sure I didn't watch this tape?
MONICA: Hey, you got me, put it in.
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Dina: I I dont care about fashion! Im pregnant! And I know you are too, so you gotta help me!
Chandler: Youre turning into a woman.
Amy: (thinks about it) You’re right, you’re right! I’m gonna do it!
Phoebe: Yeah! It really has been great too, you know, some of this people must have seen me play before because they were requesting a bunch of my songs! Yeah, "You suck" and "shut up and go home".
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Janice: Im telling you Rachel, listen to Janice. They all say theyre gonna be there until they start their real family.
Janine: Hey! Youre a good dancer!
Ross: Why aren't you guys dressed?
David: Wow, you look even... more beautiful than you did yesterday.
Rachel: Did you tell the doctor you did it jumping up and down on your bed?
Lizzie: Would you like my tin-foil hat?
Monica: Who do you wanna fool around with?
Chandler: Wh-How did you lose at Cups?!
Chandler: No! Youre the sweetest! (He tries to kiss her but Monica backs away with a look that could kill on her face.)
Ross: Hey! Hey! Hey! I get to choose my best man, and I want both you guys.
Monica: (Takes it) That's Mindy? Wow, she is pretty. (Sees Rachel's look) Lucky. To have had a friend like you.
Joey: I was going for quiet desperation. But if you have to ask...
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Rachel: (Looking through her purse.) Okay, you know what? I dont have it, but I can tell you exactly where it is on my night stand, and...okay. But you know what? I have my drivers license and I have a twenty. (She slides it across the counter.)
Monica: Look! You knew this about me when you married me! You agreed to take me in sickness and in health. Well, this is my sickness!
Chandler: So, ahh, how are ya? How ya...How ya... You okay?
Joey: Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, Ill do whatever you want.
Monica: I was just saying that because I was ovulating and you said you wouldn�t have sex with me while we�re fighting.
Robert: Ah, good to meet you. Robert.
Phoebe Sr: What are you doing here?!
Phoebe: Youre kidding! And he plays rugby?! Thats so funny. (Realises) Ohh! I see how you did that. All right.
Rachel: Well, it gets worse. When asked if you take initiative I wrote, "Yes, he was able to unhook my bra with minimal supervision," and under Problems with Performance I wrote, "Dear God, I hope not," and then uh, then I drew a little smiley face, and then a small pornographic sketch.
Phoebe: Thats the same month as Halloween. So, um, what kinda things do you like to do at home?