words in movies
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Are you all right?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: You just said
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Chandler: Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: Who says you cant get a nice punch bowl for under six bucks? Maybe we can take it back?
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Rachel: (upset) All right, well, if you must know... I had a traumatic... swing incident... when I was little.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Rachel: Well thank you, you too.
Phoebe: Yeah! What are you saying?
Joey: No! Its not okay! Its not okay at all!! Youre dead inside!!
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Chandler: Its all very, very good. (She covers up and sits down.) So you wanna go uh, mix it up?
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
MONICA: Rachel you have to read this book. It's called Be Your Own Windkeeper. It's about how women need to become more empowered.
Joey: Are you serious?!
ROSS: You got it.
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Mrs. Green: Well uh, I dont have a gift because I wasnt invited until the last minute, but thank you so much for bringing that to everyones attention.
Ross: So, do you get colours or just French tips?
Monica: And they weren't looking at you before?!
Monica: Well Joey, were all were all very proud of you.
Tim: Youre an excellent patient!
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Phoebe: Really?! Are you sure?
Joey: (Runs out in a towel) What's the matter with you?!
Ross: But, what�s great is that you don�t mind talking about it.
Rachel: (checks her watch) Fifty-two minutes. (Pause) So no-no brothers and sisters, huh? That must be nice. You dont have to share stuff.
Monica: Thank you.
KEVIN: So, we're on our way to a couple of parties.� Um. . . maybe we can get your numbers and give you guys a call if we find something fun.
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Monica: We're with you. We got it.
ROSS: You got a tattoo?
MONICA: You are not a freak. You're a guy.
Phoebe: Where were you?
Ross: Are you not seeing him anymore?
Monica: You made a joke right? So I laughed.
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Melissa: (quietly) Im a party planner. Ill see you tomorrow. (Exits.)
Tag: Are you kidding me?! With a cute butt like this, Id find work.
Monica: What is going on with you? Since when are you so crazy about babies?
Phoebe: Hey oh, Rach wait! Do you want to go to a movie tonight?
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Ross: (barely containing himself at this point) Well, you have fun tonight.
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! I just talked to the casting people; they loved you!
Ross: You don't, you don't know what your wearing?
Rachel: Phoebe, honey, if you hate it so much, you should walk out there right now and quit! Be true to what you believe in! Honey, you have principles and I so admire that! I don't have any!
MRS GREEN: Sweetie! So this is where you work? Oh, it's wonderful! Is it a living room? Is it a restaurant? Who can tell? But I guess that's the fun.
Rachel: No, come on, I'm totally ok. (hugging him) I don't need you to come! I can totally handle this on my own.
STEVE: You used to be my babysitter.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Rachel: Im sorry honey, what were you saying?
Ross: Listen, if you ever have any problem with the ladies you know Ill help you out.
Joey: What? Are you out of your mind? Lets throw some jello on them.
Ross: Listen, listen. Whoever you pick is gonna walk down the aisle with you! Now, I promise I won't say a word, but if you pick Chandler he's gonna be whispering stupid jokes in your ear the whole time!
Phoebe: Youre right. Youre right, hes just embracing life. We could all stand to be a little more like Parker. You know what? I am like him! Im a sunny, positive person.
Monica: Well you know it's just like living with a girl. Only they don't steal your makeup. Unless they're playing "This is what my sister would look like" (Looks at Chandler)
DUNCAN: Well I guess on some level I always knew I was straight. I though I was supposed to be something else, you know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay, I was just tryin' to fit in.
Rachel: All right, fine. Um, you were not the only one there. (Camera fades to Ross, who's listening very carefully) Joey was there too.
Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's... it's... y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into showbusiness.
Monica: What are you doing?!
Rachel: You shouldnt.
Monica: Uh, so anyway, we thought one of you could read something during the ceremony.
Phoebe: (points to David) And you thanks for the face massage. Thank you.
Ross: I loved this place! To tell you the truth, I wish I didn't have to move.
Phoebe: What are you gonna name the baby?
Ross: Wait, did you get to the part about his 'huge throbbing pens'? Tell ya, you don't wanna be around when he starts writing with those!
Janice: (entering) Ross you left you scarf in (sees everyone.) Hey you guys. (Does the laugh.)
Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise? Call me when you land.
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Phoebe: No, no, it's not that. (they go sit on the couch) Uhm... Remember when you asked me if I was seeing someone and I said no? Well, uhm... I am. His ... his name is Mike.
Phoebe: Monica slow down! Ok? I'm just excited to be living with him. You know I mean, I don't know, Can I see someday being married to Mike? Sure! Yeah. Y'know..I can picture myself walking down the aisle in a wedding dress that highlights my breasts in an obvious yet classy way. But do I want that house in Connecticut...you know..near the good schools where Mike and I can send Sophie and Mike Junior.. Oh my god I do.
Monica: Well, maybe she thought that with all of your history it could be, you know, implicit.
Ross: Are you sure? (Chandler nods: Yes!) Hold on. (walks over behind the couch) Im sorry you guys, that was a coffee and a....
Joey: Im sorry, do I know you?
Ross: Thank you. (they shake hands) All right, here I go. Hey, remember how scary it used to be going up to girls in college?
Chandler: So, what do you thing the good news is?
Monica: Hey, did you pick a roommate?
Monica: How do you feel?
Ross: What is the matter with you?!?
Monica: You heard him! "No bigger!" "You're perfect!" "Just don't get any bigger!" Oh my god he sounded just like my high school wrestling coach. You know what? I'm going to have to talk to Chandler.
Rachel: You idiot!!
Joey: Did I say you could smell it?!
Phoebe: "No time for losers, 'cause we are the champions of the world...!" Thank you!
Chandler: You were not supposed to hear that! I said that behind you back!
Monica: You do?
Rachel: Chandler, this is not addressed to you. This is addressed to Mrs. Braverman downstairs. (Gasping) Thief.
Phoebe: Oh good! Then youre in luck! Bens not my son!
Rachel: Well, Im really sick of your smoking, so I brought something that is going to help you quit. (hands him an audio cassette)
Ross: Well ah, you wanna just stay out there?
RACHEL: Wow, so why don't you go talk to him?
Monica: You guys! Do you realize that any minute now, Phoebe can be pregnant?
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Chandler: Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she's gonna see your underwearyou want it to be dirty?
Monica: You didnt find her?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu, well, then, great. If you love it, I love it.
Ross: Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson.
Rachel: Hey, I was doin' great before I found out about you. You think it's easy for me to see you with Julie?
Monica: Perhaps, you would like me to turn like this, (turns sideways on the couch) so that you can bunny bump against my back.
Paul: And anyhow, Im sorry I was so harsh before, but you have to understand that I (pause) still look at Lizzie like shes a twelve-year-old girl.