words in movies
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Are you all right?
Phoebe: It was really sweet. The last thing she said to me was; "Okay dear, you go get the eggs and I'm gonna get the yogurt and we'll meet at the checkout counter." And y'know what? We will meet at the checkout counter.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Phoebe: No you didn't!
Phoebe: Well, lots of people! Look, are you coming to memorial service or not?
Ursula: Umm, no. See I already thought she was dead so I kinda made my peace with it. Plus, I'm going to a concert tomorrow. So I'd invite you, but umm, I only have two tickets left.
Chandler: Wow! You look just like your son Mrs. Tribbiani!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Rachel: All right, then you owe me $350.
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Phoebe: Well hello, Mrs. Penella! Thank you so much for coming! Well, okay look, here's your umm, 3-D glasses and Reverend Pong will tell you when to put them on.
Ross: Hey, how are you holding up?
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Phoebe: So how did you know Francis?
Phoebe: You just said
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Monica: Oh, did you catch him?!
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Phoebe: Come on, you saw the way he ran out of here! What do you think? He's gonna stick around and talk to the daughter he abandoned!
Joey: What did you say to him?
Rachel: Ahhh, I think you look great! That bag is gonna get you that part.
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
Rachel: Ooh, Pheebs, what are you gonna say? Are you gonna tell him who you are?
Ross: Well, but aren't you pissed at him?! I mean this guy abandoned you! I gotta tell you if this were me, this guy would be in some serious physical danger! (Getting worked up) I mean I-I-I'd walk in there and I'd be like, "Yo, dad! You and me outside right now!" (Calming down.) I kinda scared myself.
Monica: Well, at least you scared someone.
Monica: Phoebe, you do seem a little tense. Here, let me help you.
Phoebe: Oh! Get off!! Ow!! Oh, stop it!! Why?! Why are you doing that to me?!
Monica: What are you talking about?
Phoebe: As a masseuse and a human, I'm begging you, never do that to anyone!
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
The Casting Director: (stopping him) I'm sorry. Could you, could you try it without the purse?
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
The Casting Director: Umm, do you sell these bags?
The Casting Director: Okay! Thank you! That was great!
Monica: Oh, please, stop! Look, we're supposed to be honest with each other. I-I just wish you could tell mejust say, "I don't like your massages."
Chandler: It's okay, you don't have to be the best at everything.
Monica: Oh my God! You don't know me at all!
Chandler: Okay, you give the worst massages in the world.
Chandler: Okay, hear me out. Okay? You give the best bad massages. If anybody was looking for the best bad massage and they were thinking to themselves, "Who's the best of that?" They'd have to go to you.
Chandler: Oh, it would be you! You! Monica! And you'd get all the votes!
Phoebe: Umm, thank you for meeting with me.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Frank Sr.: Well, that's why you wanted me to come, right?
Phoebe: Oh yes. Yes. Yeahno. She did. She left you umm, (looking in her purse) this lipstick.
Phoebe: Okay. I have just a few questions to ask so I'm going to get out my official forms. (She picks up a couple of crumpled receipts.) Okay, so, question 1) You and uh, you were married to Francis' daughter Lilly, is that correct?
Frank Sr.: Y'know, I don't think I want the lipstick that much. (Gets up to leave.) But umm Oh, would you do me a favor? And umm, would you, would you give Lilly that, please? (Hands her a note.)
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Frank Sr.: Are you sure?
Phoebe: Yep, lipstick and a daughter, big day for you!
Frank Sr.: So would it, would it make you feel better if I said I was very, very sorry that I left?
Phoebe: Y'know what, it doesnt matter what you say it's not gonna make a difference anyway, so you can just go.
Frank Sr.: Yes. Yes it is. I burned the formula and I put your diapers on backwards. I mean, I made up a song to sing you to sleep, but that made you cry even more!
Phoebe: You make up songs?
Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. Why won't you go to sleep? Sleepy girl, sleepy girl. You're, you're, you're keeping me uppp! (Yeah, that's to the tune of Smelly Cat.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Rachel: I just don't know if the world is ready for you and your bag.
Rachel: Wait a minute! Wait a minute! I'm not saying that you shouldnt have a bag, I justit's just there are other bags that are a little less umm, (Pause) controversial.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Rachel: ...if you tell me, I might do it.
Chandler: And Im blah? Listen, the only thing more boring than watching modern dance is having to listen to you talk about it, (Imitating her) "Oh Chandler, I just lost myself in the moment."
MONICA: (sniffing Joey) I think that's you.
Chandler: Im just trying to help you out! Okay? I wanna make sure that youre okay.
Monica: What makes you think that I might not be okay?
ROSS: Maybe you should look up "fascinating."
Chandler: Hello? Oh hi, Doctor Connelly. (pause) No, she's not here but, you know, I can tell her. Should I be sitting down for this? (his smile fades as he hears the answer) Oh. (pause) Well, so what does that mean? (pause) Ok. Ok, thank you. Thanks. (hangs up)
Monica: I promise you, next time I will absolutely tell you.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, actually um, I wanted to talk to you about that whole annulment thing?
JOEY: Where are you going?
RACHEL: See you guys.� (She closes the door.)
Mark: I can't help it, I'm just, I'm just crazy about you.
ROSS: Hey you guys.� (He sits.)
ROSS: Yes. [pulls them off and hands them to Mr. Greene] I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
CHANDLER: Well then maybe you should take it.
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Ross: Oh my God! Rach-Rach, are-are-are you sure?
Doug: Oh Bing, look at those twin sisters dancing together. Let me buy you a lap dance with those girls. Huh?
Monica: (seeing him approach) Hey! There you are!
Ross: Somehow over time it got easier to be apart from you.
Chandler: Hey. Where've you been?
Joey: (deadpan) Ooh! Yeah. So yeah, so you know exactly what Im talking about.
Krista: You are so bad! (Hits him softly.)
EDDIE: Yeah, you know, put chips in it, we'll make like a chip chick.
Ms. McKenna: You fell asleep?
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: What the hells the matter with you?! This is my favourite jersey.
Ken: You can come to my house!
Rachel: No. Not-not for me, but why dont you take off your sweater?
Mischa: Well, you just asked if I wanted to go to bed with you tonight.
Rachel: (on phone) Chip! Hi, its Rachel. (listens) Rachel Green. Yeah, umm, you left me a message. (listens) Yes you did, my roommate wrote it down. (listens) Monica Geller. (listens) Ohh.
Chandler: Look you have to realize I dont think of you as a thin, beautiful woman. (Monica glares at him.) See this is one of things that I can apologize for later! Look, what I mean is youre Monica! Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
Joey: Hey! Great, youre home! Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas! (Starts drumming.)
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Chandler: Ugh, we have already proved that we are hot! Okay? So why-why are you getting so obsessed about this thing?!
LITTLE BULLY: Us, what about you guys? Man you really, bing, gave it to old Mr. Clean back there. He was a big guy.
Ross: What are you doing here, Santa?
Ross: (to Chandler) What are you doing?
Ross: Thank you, but, but you, you gotta leave.
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
David: I-I... Oh I...I just wanna say uhm... if you do ever come to Minsk, that's my number (gives Mike a business card) We'll uhm... we'll party up Vladnik style. (He leaves again)
Phoebe: Because you are so afraid of commitment! You talk to him, make him scared like you! Make him a man!
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
Ross: Look, Chandler, its my joke. But, hey, if it makes you feel any better they dont print the name, so it doesnt really matter who gets credit, right?
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Phoebe: Come on, you guys, you have nothing to lose, I have everything to lose. Do you want me to lose everything? Everything?!
Joey: No way are you cool enough to pull of Clint.
Chandler: Merry Christmas, you guys!
Joey: (laughing and turning off the TV) So, what did you guys think?
JOEY: What? You think I'm too dumb to understand that a husband needs to be with his wife?� Huh?� Do you think I'm like, "Duh."� (He strikes himself in the head with the bat.� He stands dazed for a moment.)
Rachel: Alright thanks, oh Ross could you stop by the coffee house and get me a muffin?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
Ross: (To Monica) Youre drunk! Mom and dad are gonna be maaaaadd! Maybe Im a little drunk.
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Ross: Thats right, I love you! And-and Im gonna play with you all the time.
Rachel: Ross, thank you. Hey, do you guys wanna go see a movie?
Chandler: How drunk are you?
RACHEL: Oh, I'm sorry. You know what? I cannot have this conversation with you. I mean, god, you just come in here, and drop this bomb on me, before you even tell Daddy. What? What do you want? Do you want my blessing?
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
RACHEL: Well, I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him.
Ross: Thats Daddy?! But doesnt it bother you? Youre a waitress.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: You do?!
Emily: Well I mean, youre American to start with. You dont even have rugby here.
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
MONICA: You should go to the game.� It's okay.� I want you to.
Monica: Eh, you work for that.
Rachel: (sticking her head in from the balcony) Wait, are you leaving?
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Monica: You thought about that?
Monica: What else did you think about?
Chandler: Sure you do.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: You sure?
Monica: What are you doing here?
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Dr. Green: They found rust. You know what rust does to a boat?
Phoebe: (to Chandler) Thank you.
MONICA: It's gonna be ok. Ryan's been under water. He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnicles on your butt.
Chloe: Hey, what are you guys doing tomorrow night?
Joey: Maybe you two should live together.
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Ross: Hey you guys!
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Rachel: OK, thank you.
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Monica: Hey, umm, so listen umm, my friends were telling me a little about this ah, ultimate fighting thing and it, well it sounds really dangerous. I-I dont want you to get hurt, cause I kinda like you.
Erica: Giving you my baby? You think I'd give you my child after this?
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Rachel: Thank you! (goes to get coffee)
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Mike: Thank you.
Rachel: Oh wow, you are really, you're really a creep.