words in movies
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: (laughs) Why would you want to do that?
Joey: The big deal is that it is the exact equal distance from the bathroom to the kitchen and its at the perfect angle so you dont get any glare coming of off Stevie.
Rachel: No! (Joey sets his beer and bag of chips down and heads into his room.) Oh what does he know! Come on Rosita, us chichas got to stick together! (She tries pulling on the back of the chair, until the hinge breaks and the back falls off.) You bitch!
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Ross: (disappointed) Sure, do whatever you want.
Ross: (on phone) Uh, hello dad! Monica and I just saw the house in the paper! (Listens) Yes were surprised! (Listens) Who did you leave a message with?
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Rachel: Okay, come onJoey, Ill buy you a new one! All right? Well go down to the store right now and well-well get you a new chair.
Rachel: But dont you think Rosita wouldve wanted you to move on? I mean yknow, she did always put your comfort first.
Rachel: (grabbing her coat) Okay? You ready?
Monica: Well, after 15 years of mom and dad keeping it as a shrine to you, its time the velvet ropes came down.
Ross: Come on, you know they love you.
Monica: As much as they love you?
Ross: Hey, yknow if you want to pick up some extra cash? Some friends of mine made good money doing telemarketing.
Monica: Oh thats a great idea. Youre really good on the phone.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, like you never called!
Supervisor: So basically this is very easy. You read from the script and try to sell as much toner as you possibly can.
Phoebe: Umm, okay I would like to talk to you about your toner needs.
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im sorry to bother you. Bye-bye. (Hangs up the phone.) Yeah youre right, this is easy.
Phoebe: Oh well, all right um, no offense, but you were kind of rude.
Supervisor: Theyre always going to tell you they dont need toner, but thats okay because whatever they say, you can find the answer to it here in this script.
Supervisor: So, I think youre ready to sell toner, do you have any last questions?
Mr. Geller: Hi. God, it seems like just yesterday you guys used to come out to watch me work.
Ross: Dad, we-we cant believe youre selling the house.
Ross: Yeah, not as much as you used to love to play uncooked batter eater.
Mr. Geller: So, I think youre boxes are over here. (They walk over to them.)
Ross: How are you ever going to sell this place?
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Phoebe: (on phone) Hi, this Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies, can I speak to your supply manager please? (Listens) Earl, thanks. (Listens) Hi Earl, this is Phoebe from Empire Office Supplies Id like to talk to you about your toner needs. (Shes reading from the script.)
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Earl: You wanna know why. You wanna know why?
Phoebe: (doesnt have any luck) Umm, is-is that because youre out of toner?
Phoebe: No-no wait-wait! I cant just let you hang up! Just please talk to me.
Phoebe: Yeah! Now, why do you want to kill yourself?
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Earl: Oh yeah? I work in a cubicle surrounded by people. Ive been talking to you for five minutes now about killing myself and no ones even looked up from their desk. Hang-hang on. (To the people standing around his cubicle.) Hey everybody! Uh, Im gonna kill myself! (Theres no response; no one even looks up.) Ill get back to ya. (To Phoebe) I got nothing. Wait. (He sets the phone down.) Uh, hey Marge! (Mimes putting a gun to his head, pulling the trigger, and splattering his brain on the wall behind him. Then points to himself. Marge watches this, then goes back to work.) (To Phoebe) Ehh, nothing. Nothing.
Rachel: You will like it!
Rachel: You dont even know!
Rachel: Well look, if you dont like this (The audiences laughter at Chandlers progress cuts out the rest of Rachels line.)
Joey: I dont know why you say that so soon.
Rachel: Come on Joey, I just bought you a new chair! The most expensive one in the store! Hey, yknow what I was thinking? We could name her Francette.
Joey: Well, I guess youre right. Maybe, maybe Ill take her down to the incinerator. Its gonna be so said, and kinda cool. (He goes to remove the back, but it doesnt come off. So he sits down in it, puts his feet up, stands up, and looks back at it.) Shes heeled!
Joey: Oh there is! If you want something enough and your heart is pure, wondrous things can happen!
Joey: (interrupting her) Can you tell me how this happened?
Ross: Dad that wont matter to her. Look, all my stuff is safe and dry and all her is-is, is growing new stuff! See, this is exactly the kind of thing that makes her think you guys love me more than you love her.
Ross: Well, can you blame her?
Mr. Geller: Well I dont know, I-I suppose we may have favored you unconsciously, you were a medical marvel! The doctor said your mother could
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Rachel: Yeah! You can hook it up to your TV and you get radio!
Phoebe: Earl, youre not hearing me! All Im saying is that youre not alone all right? Everybody hates the people they work with! (One of her coworkers overhears that, and she mimes that she didnt mean him.)
Phoebe: Wait, what was that? That sounded like someone being nice to you.
Phoebe: No! Im not finished yet! Dont! Dont you dare hang up on me!!!
Mr. Geller: (overacting) Thats a good one! Do you hear that Ross? Three days!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Monica: So why-why wasnt Rosss stuff ruined? (Pause) And if you say the words medical marvel Im going to Easy Bake your head!
Monica: So wait, Rosss stuff is fine, but I have no memories because you wanted to keep the bottom two inches of your car away from water!!!
Rachel: How would you like to sit in a chair that fully reclines, has a rolling massage, and speakers in the head rest?
Rachel: Well what if I told you, you can do it in my apartment?
Chandler: (excitedly) Are you telling me that you bought the chair that is making all other lounge systems obsolete? The chair that Sit magazine called the Chair of the Year?
Chandler: Thats awesome! Thats great! What made you do it?!
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa! You broke Joeys chair?
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Chandler: Joey you broke my chair!!
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!
Joey: How do you figure?
Chandler: Because you (Points to Joey) broke a chair and you (Points to Rachel) broke a chair! The only one around here that hasnt broke a chair, is me!
Chandler: What are you guys? Like a gang or something?!
Phoebe: (to Marge) Excuse me! Can you tell me where I can find Earl? Hes the supply manager around here.
Phoebe: No-no I cant! I cant let you do it!
Phoebe: Because it was fate that made me call you today!
Phoebe: No! Think about it okay? This isnt even my regular job! Okay? And my first day on the job, youre my first call! And-and somebody else mightve hung up on you, but I wouldnt do that because I know about this stuff. My mom killed herself.
Phoebe: Im not gonna give you tips! Look dont you see that this-this this all came together so that I could stop you from doing this.
Phoebe: Sure! (Thinks.) Umm, where are you from?
Phoebe: But ifno look, okay. These jerks might not care about you, but the universe does! And that says a lot!
Earl: (To All) Did you hear that?! I dont need you guys to care about me! Because the universe cares! The whole universe! (Laughs as everyone ignores him.) (To Phoebe) I really wished theyd care just a little bit though.
Phoebe: Yknow, I dont-I dont think its you. This is a freaky place. (To All) Hey! Guys! (Everyone looks up.) (To Earl) Oh no, its you.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Mr. Geller: (entering) How are you honey?
Monica: How do you think I am?! Youve wrecked all my childhood memories. You love Ross more than me. And I just rubbed a dead mouse on my face!
Mr. Geller: Sweetheart, we love you just as much as Ross! Now, Im sorry about everything that happened and Id probably never be able to make it up to you, but heres a start. (He hands her a small box.)
Monica: Wait, youre giving me your Porsche, youre kidding me right?!
Monica: Do you guys know what happened to Chandlers barca lounger?
Monica: Are you kidding?! I get a Porsche and the barca loungers gone?! This is the best day ever! (Runs out.)
Assistant: You might wanna get back in there.
Dirk: Hey! So what show are you on?
Mona: Yeah? Well you still shoulda told me.
Phoebe Sr.: Noo! No! It wasnt like that I... Remember how I told you how Lily, Frank, and I we were, we were close. Well, we were, we were very close.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know! (turns to Chandler) So, what do you think?
Monica: (turns to them) Ok, alright, you guys, you'd better sit down, this is pretty big.
Rachel: Oh my God! This is it! (She and Phoebe hold hands.) (To Phoebe) I really hope its you!
Phoebe: Why, why, why didn’t you just say no!
Phoebe: Yeah. Except for, y'know when youre on a date and youre getting along really great but the guys translator keeps getting in the way.
Monica: And you would?
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Chandler: And sometimes, I'll want you to steal third, and I'll go like this. (Does a baseball sign.)
SUSIE: My skirt, you lifted, kids laughing. I was Susie Underpants 'till I was 18.
Monica: (gets up) Okay, y'know what, Im not fine, Im not. I mean how can I be fine, hearing you come in with her, she wants to see your bedroom.... (pause) Y'know what, what if were friends who dont see other people?
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Chandler: Okay, here you go. (He deals out two cards each.) I have two queens, what do you have?
Chandler: You didn't like that?
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Monica: Why don't you just call her?
Phoebe: Are you kidding? People acting like animals to music. Come on!
Joey: Hey Chandler can I talk to you for a second (points to the hall).
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Phoebe: (holding a card and waving it in front of her face) Hey you guys, look, the one-eyed jack follows me wherever I go. (they look at her) Right, OK, serious poker.
Monica: What is the matter with you?! Do you want to fall into the trap? Do you want to fall into the trap?!
Monica: But you told them you werent?
Rachel: (pause as she realizes her lame attempt to shift the blame has failed) I am so hot for you right now.
Monica: (To Phoebe) You were going to cut me out?
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Dr. Franzblau: I try not to let my work affect my personal life, but it's hard, when you... do what I do. It's like uh...Well, for instance, what do you do?
Monica: You wanna fool around with Joey?
Chandler: Well, aren't you a treat.
Ross: Ow! Ow! Okay, okay, fine, fine! All right, you wanna win by cheating, go ahead, all right. Phoebe the touchdown does count, you win.
Monica: Why don't you just be straight with her? Tell her the truth.
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: I won't know what I would do without you.
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
MNCA: You were so amazing as the king. I was really impressed, I was.
Rachel: Hey! Y'know what? You are in our apartment all the time! Okay? This is, this is just a drop in the bucket mister!
LITTLE BULLY: Actually, you know, uh, I gotta show this apartment tomorrow and uh, you know, this no faces thing might not be a bad idea.
Phoebe: Nothing! I swear to God I didnt know you guys would be here! And the good news is you didnt believe in soul mates. So
Chandler: I see you later!
Joey: And youll be topless?
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Ross: Oh, I thought you guys had just been on like four dates, I didnt realise that had become anything, yet.
Rachel: And I mean, you know, you guys... This is a big deal. I mean, how can we have her first birthday party without her aunt and her uncle!
Rachel: I know Mona, just hear me out. First of all, Im so sorry about my father yelling at you, but I heard you totally held your own. Youre gonna have to tell me how you did that.
Rachel: Oh, come on! Saran Wrap on the toilet seat, you dont think thats just a little funny?!
Chandler: And youre upset because you didnt make your best friend cry?
Joey: my god woman! How many people do you have to had been with not to remember any of this?
Ross: Oh, you know what? You're gonna get it. I-I-I-I can feel it.
JOEY: What're you gettin' so bent out of shape for, huh? It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie.
Chandler: So? Would you care to join me in our first dance as husband and wife?
Chandler: You know what, everybody? Go home. You should be with your families. It's bad enough that we're working New Year's Eve.
Chandler: Hey, no way! Come on, this is you guys, call her and work it out.
Frank: Yeah, and they-and they say that our-that our only chance to have a baby is that if they take my sperm, her egg and put it together in a dish and then put it into another girl. So we were wondering if you could be the girl that we could put it into.
Monica: So glad you came!
Joey: (crying) Why God?! Why are you doing this to us?! (He buries his head in Rosss shoulder.)
Jack: Thank you!
RACHEL: Oh honey, are you jealous of Paolo? Oh, c'mon, I'm so much happier with you than I ever was with him.
Monica: Is he crazy?! You just had Rosss baby!
Jack: Which one are you?
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Rachel: (gasps) I can't believe I ever even tried to help you. You are so beyond help.
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Rachel: So, Joey, what are you gonna do for us?
Ross: Thank you so much for that gift!
Joey: Dude, what are you massaging an old man for?
Chandler: So thats the girl you like.
Monica: Jeez! What is with you?
JOEY: Na, na I'm ok. Oh and uh, just so you know, I'm not movin' back in 'cause I have to. Well, I mean, I do have to. It's just that that place wasn't really, I mean, this is...
Monica: What, Phoebe, did you whip the potatoes? Ross needs lumps!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Monica: So you didnt leave the bank?
Chandler: You know what, okay, fine. Don't get up, you just sit right there. I just hope, you don't mind, you know, my hand right here. (holds his hand a couple of inches in front of Joey's face) Op, not touching, can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! Not touching can't get mad! (Joey flings some dip onto Phoebe's dress)
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Rachel: Now, you do realize that shes a cartoon, and way out of your league?
Phoebe: Great! Okay, good for you! (as they leave she slaps Rachel on the butt)
Joey: (Laughs) Of course we do! Mike is playing a game that we used to play in high school. Yeah, where we pretend we don't know each other. We played all kinds of games. (To Mike) Hey, remember the one where I punch you in the face for not being cool?!
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didnt say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the Xerox place.
Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
Joey: What? You never said anything about an audition!
The Interviewer: Understood. So, whatd you say back then?
Angela: Yeah, well, sorry, Joe. You said let's just be friends, so guess what?
Phoebe: Yeah, see you later!
Ross: No, I'm sorry. Look I don't think that's what you wanna hear right now but I can't help it. I love marriage.
Joey: Hey, good race you guys.
Chandler: That would be impossible to resist if you werent all drippy here. (Points to his nose.)
Chandler: I'm begging you stop.
Monica: Well, no, not at all, you're not terminal, you just, you just need some damage control.
Monica: That's how old you are.
Monica: Okay. I love you so much. (Kisses him.)
Frank: What, wait, you mean like this? (does it)
Joey: So, did you bring a little something for Ross?
Monica: Im gonna miss you so much.
Ross: (To Phoebe) Im sorry. Ugh, Pheebs, you were, you were right about her. Yknow, she did try to use sex as a weapon! Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
Monica: (on machine) "Hi, it's Monica. I'm just checking in 'cause I got this message from you and I didn't know if it was old or new or what. So, I'm just checkin'. So let me know, or don't, whatever. I'm breezy."