words in movies
Phoebe: (laughs harder) You make it so funny.
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Chandler: (opening the bathroom door and kicking out the chick and duck) Would you give me one minute!! Please.
Joshua: So, these will match the jacket you picked out for me last week?
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Rachel: Oh, okay. Uhh, well lets see. (Grabs his hand.) Youre aboutwell uh, this one is large. And this one(Grabs the other hand.)
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Sure. You got it. Great!
Mr. Waltham: Ohh! Yes of course, thank you, thank you, thank you so very much.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Joshua: Youre into hardcore S&M right?
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Rachel: Yeah, great, you betcha!
Mr. Waltham: For you and Emily, tonight, Die Fledermaus.
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Joey: Oh my God, you guys have no idea.
Monica: You stink!
Ross: Are you kidding?!
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: No, Chandlers still in Phase One, and Joeys that thing you smell.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Monica: (looking out the peephole) Ohh, shes looking down the hall. Oh! She looked right at me! Oh wait, you cant see people through that little hole, can you? (Goes back to the door.) Hello!
Rachel: Oh thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! (Monica opens the door.) Emily?
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Monica: I-I-I think you look great.
Emily: Good night, it was very nice to meet you all. (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Dont you just love the way they talk?!
Monica: Oh wait, Joey, you cant go like that! You stink!
Phoebe: Ohh! So, did you get to meet her?
Monica: So you hit her in the face?
Rachel: Honey, thats youre name.
Monica: Hey! Youre wearing pants!
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Monica: Why do you care so much anyway?
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Monica: Well, when you first met Barry, you flitted off to Vail.
Rachel: Oh, yknow, would you just for once, not remember every little thing!! (Storms out.)
Monica: What are you doing?! Chandler! You cant just go back a phase!
Chandler: Yes you can. Youre thinking about time, you cant go back in time.
Phoebe: Well, look, why dont you just, why dont you do your Phase Two strip club thing with us.
Chandler: (laughs) No you cant.
Chandler: You dont want to be guys, youd be all hairy and wouldnt live as long. (Starts to go to his bedroom)
Phoebe: Yknow you, you just stop being such a wuss and get those off and you come with us and watch naked girls dance around!!
The A.D: You.
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
The A.D: You?
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
The Cigarette Smoking Guy: (No, not the Cigarette Smoking Man from The X-Files.) Well, maybe you and your baby should go to another strip club.
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Phoebe: Come on! Look where you are!!
Monica: (to the waitress) When you get a sec, another round of daiquiris.
Phoebe: Well, if you think it will help.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Phoebe: You should! How is she?
Charlton Heston: Who in the hell are you?
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Charlton Heston: (shocked) Youre in this picture?
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Joey: Oh no-no-no, you dont understand
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that was great. Thanks to you, the hottest cocktail waitress there is quitting to teach the third grade!
Phoebe: Oh no! Wait! Wait! Okay, yknow what, you were right, you were right. We really werent great at being guys, but you know why? Because were girls.
Phoebe: And do you know what girls are really good at?
Phoebe: No, listening! Sit! Yknow, maybe it would just really, really help if you would just talk.
Monica: Yeah. And yknow, if you wanna cry, thats okay too.
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Ross: Hey! You were so right!
Ross: Uh, what you said, about us being in a place where we could finally be happy for each other.
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Ross: Yeah, and-and thank you for Emily.
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Ross: Happy for you. (He punches her back.)
Rachel: No, happy for you! (Hits him harder.)
Chandler: All right ladies, heres what were gonna do. (Points to a stripper.) You are gonna take off my clothes. (To another two strippers) You two, go get the oils. (To another stripper) And you just constantly scream at the top of your voice, "Chandlers the king! Chandlers the king!"
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
Phoebe: Oh, you like that? You should hear my phone number.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Rachel: Nice to meet you.
Monica: Oh please! Why else would you have made out with Ross?!
Elizabeth: Oops! I did not mean to run into you like that sir.
ROSS: So do you have like any nuclear weapons on board?
Phoebe: Someday I'll, tell you about the time I stabbed the cop.
Joey: Alright now listen, you guys, we talked about it, and if you don't want to play, we completely understand.
Mrs. Geller: So Chandler, youre parents mustve been thrilled when you told them you were engaged.
Ross: You... you dated Albert Wintermeyer?
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Phoebe: It's all right. You can mourn.
Mike: Me too. (He leaves. A few moments later, he enters again.) You know what? I just realised something. I don't wanna go home.
ROSS: Ross, uh and uh, I'd just like to say that it did take a lot of courage for Rachel to come here tonight. And, uh, for the record she did not run out on Barry because she had syphilis. (da-doom-chesh) (to drummer) What are you doing I'm serious. Uh, the reason she walked out on, on Barry is simply that she didn't love him, which incidentally worked out pretty well for me (looks for the da-doom-chesh, and doesn't get one) Cheers.
Monica: When Rachel was with Paulo, what did you do?
Chandler: You kissed her that night too?
Monica: Uch, you see, I�m ovulating.
Ross: Nice to meet you.
Chandler: I... I don't know... you seem lovely.
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
Monica: Yeah, come on, eat, whatever you want. Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Chandler: Her ass print is still on your grandmothers quilt, do you really want to talk about smoking?
Joey: You know those posters for the city free clinic?
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Monica: And I can't stop you.
Phoebe: Hey, thank you so much for these tickets, Chandler.
Monica:: I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! (They hug)
Ross: Why do you care so much?
Chandler: Now Ive upset you? What did I say?
Ross: Okay, how about you flew to London to stop my wedding! Ah, how about you told me you loved me after I was already married!
Ross: Little louder, okay, I think there's a man on the twelfth floor in a coma that didn't quite hear you...
Chandler: The guy was hammered, okay? Theres no way, you look like Rosss mother.
Rachel: Yes, we are very sorry to tell you this, but you, Phoebe, are flaky.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Phoebe: He said, "Nice to meet you Glenda." (They stare at her, dumbfounded) Well, obviously I couldn't give him my real name?
Chandler: Okay, we owe you a present.
Monica: (entering) Hey honey! I missed you today!
Mike: (to Chandler and Ross) You know, Chappy's too small to handle all this snow. Someone's gonna have to walk him down the aisle.
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Carol: (from the kitchen) Rach, do you want some sugar in your coffee?
Rachel: Im not! Were having a girl! Sometimes I cant believe its with youBut still! Were having a girl!
Phoebe: Joseph Francis Tribbiani are you home yet?!!
Ross: Are you saying your kid eats soup better than my kid?
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Rachel: Yeah. I just, I kept trying to make you a better person, but you're... you're already a pretty perfect version of what you are.
Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating.
Ross: well then I didn't need to bother you or the four other Mike Hanagens I bothered.
Receptionist: Then why you work here?
Conan: For example, I dont have to memorize lines. You guys actually have to remember what to say and you probably forget from time to time. Yes?
RACH: Ohh, OK, OK, OK, well, basically, lately, I've uh, I've uh, sort of had feelings for you.
Rachel: All right, I trust you. (Continues to dial)
Ross: Really?! (To Rachel) Hey, yknow what? Since you have such a great sense of what I need, uh ooh, heres-heres 60 bucks, why dont you take Phoebe down to that Colonial flea market of yours and get me some stuff.
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Ross: Were still married! Dont tell Rachel. See you later. (He gets up leaving Phoebe in shock.)
Ross: Ok. Let's see. Oh, you should take her to the MET!
Ross: You were saying you didn't want to seem stupid.
Richard: (To Joey) Are you a little off today? Its going terribly slowly.
Joey's Hand Twin: Do I know you?
Chandler: You are aware that shes not a monkey, right?
Rachel: Yes, I'm sorry. Do you have any extra pants? Umm, my friend seems to have had a little accident.
Chandler: Why are you here?
Joey: You do have a choice!! Ross, why are you listening to her?! Are you, are you crazy?!
Ross: (on machine) "Hey Ross, it's you!" (Hits the stop button) Oh yeah, no that's-that's an old message, nobody needs to hear that.
Emily: You are so sweet. (They kiss.)
Joey: (on phone) Well, so anyway Beth, what Im saying is I shouldve considered your feelings before I went home with you that night. Ive ah, Ive recently learned whats it like to be on your side of it, and Im sorry. So, do you think you can forgive me? (listens) Great. Thanks. Okay, bye. (He sits down and crosses out something, and dials the phone again.) Hello, Jennifer? (listens) Oh hi, Mrs. Loreo, is Jennifer there? (listens) Oh, shes not home huh? (listens) Well ah, actually I kinda need to talk to you too.
Joey: Yeah! You three have a nice Thanksgiving.
Janice: Oh, Chandler, look. You and Monica are meant to have children. I am sure it's gonna be just fine.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Phoebe: You know it's me?
Phoebe: How can you come here?
Jim: Do you like to party?
Rachel: How could you not tell me you worked here?
Rachel: Good for you Pheebs!
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Ross: What do you mean?
Chandler: Thank you Gunther, put it there. (He gets up, and shakes Gunther's hand. A bunch of coins fall out his hand. He sits down next to Monica.) Definitely not easier with coins. (Joey gets up and picks up the coins. Chandler thinks, Joey is just helping him to pick them up.) Thank you.
CHANDLER: Hey, you just wanna forget about raquetball and hang out here?
Joey: (smiling) Not likely. 'Cause you see that body bag right there
Kate: Yes. Are you one of the retarded cousins?
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Phoebe: (shocked) Oh, well, it's a shame that you-that you miss the movie 'cause we were gonna see, you know, either "Liar, Liar" or "Betrayal", or... "An Affair To Remember".
Brenda: Mrs. Bing, this tile cleaner is incredible! Whered you get it?
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Charlie: If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
ROSS: Yeah, so uh, is it sore or can you do stuff?
Monica: You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy. (being sat down) Ooh, uh, thanks. Wow, little tight, isn�t it? How d�you get a bigger table? You-you had a big table, but they made you move. Huh-huh, shut up Monica. Whoo, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Janice: Oh, this should be easy. I have a very wide pelvis. You remember Chandler.
Monica: Yeah, I'm sure your ex-wife will be more than happy to move to another country so you can patch things up with your new wife.
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Cheryl: Oh, yeah. Oh, you know, that's too bad that didn't work out.
Ross: (entering) Hey, you guys!
Joey: Hey, here you go. (Hands her another one.)
Chandler: But you come first!
Charlie: We'll see you, guys! (she goes)
Ross: How do you feel about all this?
Rachel: No you dont know why!
Ross: Oh, that's not what you want...
Joey: yeah but she should remember sleeping with me I am very memorable, you guys know.
Phoebe: Yeah. I actually am, yeah. Y'know life-lifes gonna had you all kinds of stuff, y'know you learn your little lessons and hopefully you grow. Wanna hear a new song?