words in movies
Rachel: Hey! You remembered to put clothes on this morning.
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Joey: Hey, it's great having you back. You know, stay as long as you want, and when does she stop crying all night?
Ross: Hey, you're not naked! So hey, Rach, when will we expect to see you tonight?
Ross: Bye! Hey, I hope Emma isn't making it too hard on you.
Joey: Yeah. And look, I just want you to know that with Rachel staying here and everything, all my feelings from before are totally over, okay? And even if they weren't, when you accidentally walk in on a woman using a breast pump...
Joey: Wow! So, how are you?
Ross: Sure, I mean, do I wish me and Rachel living together would have worked out? Of course. You know, I'm disappointed, but it's not like it's a divorce.
Ross: No, it's not a divorce, it is not a divorce! Anyway, I think Rachel and I need to, you know, get on with our lives, maybe, maybe start seeing other people.
Ross: Yeah, sure, why not? In fact, if you know anyone that would be good for me...
Joey: Hey. I was just gonna get something to eat. You want something?
Phoebe: What you got?
Joey: I'm fine, I'm fine, it's just, it's just weird what's happening with her and Ross. You know, yesterday he asked me to fix him up with somebody.
Joey: You know what's crazy? These jars. What is it, like two bites in here?
Phoebe: You know what? Maybe once they start dating, and they see what's out there, they'll realise how good they are for each other.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Rachel: You guys aren't doing anything tonight, are you?
Chandler: See, now, why would you assume that? Just because we're married? I will have you know that we are very hip, happening people. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to reading the obituaries.
Monica: Sure, we'll do that. What are you up to?
Monica: Just figured, 'cause you and Ross are...
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Monica: You want a job? Turn off "Oprah," and send out a resume!
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
Joey (gives a thumbs up sign): Okay, okay. Wait till you hear who I got for Ross.
Phoebe: How do you even know a woman like that?
Joey: Yeah, you know, it's not that fun.
Monica: Okay, just so you know, I'm gonna be ovulating from tomorrow until the sixth, so don't touch yourself in the next 48 hours.
Chandler: I'll try to stop. Wait, did you say until the sixth?
Waiter: Can I get you another glass of wine?
Waiter: Are you worried your date came, saw you, and left?
Monica: Oh my god, Emma. Oh, sweetie, I forgot you were here. Oh, you're right, we can't do this. We can't leave her alone.
Chandler: You guess I'm right? When we stayed at that bed and breakfast, you wouldn't have sex with me because you thought a deer was staring through the window.
Rachel: Oh, well, that's - that's very sweet. Thank you.
Rachel (feeling awkward): So, what do think you wanna order? I'm really excited about that chicken.
Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen.
Rachel: Well, come on, Steve; let's not rule out nervous laughter. Hey, now wait a minute. Phoebe told me that - that you owned your own restaurant. That's impressive.
Steve: It's really fulfilling doing something you hate for no money. That's right. I have no money, I'm not funny, I live in a studio apartment with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I'm infertile.
Rachel (awkward chuckle): Now, come on, come on, Steve. There must be something that you like about yourself.
Rachel: Phoebe, it's me. I'm going to hunt you down and kill you!
Rachel: This is the worst date ever. How could you set me up with this creep?
Phoebe: You know, you are talking about one of my dear, dear friends.
Monica: What are you doing?
Chandler (laughs): Okay, I'll try. And you can't make any noise.
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
Waiter: Look; you got stood up, who cares? We're gonna show you a good time. Just sit and relax. In fact, let me bring you a crab cake appetizer on the house.
Waiter #2: What are you doing? Are you trying to get him to stay? Because you can't do that.
Waiter: Eh, okay, the waiters have a little pool going. We have a bet on how long it'll take before you give up and go home.
Ross: What? You - you're making money off my misery?
Waiter: Well, if you stay till 9:20, I am.
Monica: Well, that was weird. You were loud, and I was fast.
Chandler: You may wanna get some more of those too.
Chandler: Don't ask me, I was in there canoodling you!
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Monica: Hey, you better hope that we're pregnant, because one way or another, we're giving a baby back to Rachel.
Steve (sobbing): I - I can't believe I�m crying in front of you. You must think I'm so pathetic.
Rachel (to Steve): Look, you know what, I'm sorry, but did you really think that this was going well? (To Monica.) What's up?
Monica: Hey, did you stop by here?
Monica: Oh, thank god! Emma, there you are!
Rachel: What? What do you mean, "there you are"? Where was she?
Monica (to Joey): Why the hell did you take her?
Joey: Because you two were having sex!
Joey: Don't you lie to me! I could tell by Chandler's hair. (To Chandler.) You are so lazy. Can't you get on top for once?
Joey: Hey! It is unacceptable that you two would have sex with Emma in the next room. I'm gonna have to tell Rachel about this.
Joey: Unless you name your firstborn child Joey.
Joey: (BEAT) (Laughs.) You almost had me.
Steve: Look, I think I know the answer to this question, but... Would you like to make love to me?
Rachel: Oh, well, I...It's kind of weird talking to you about this, but...
Ross: Monica told me you had a blind date.
Rachel: Oh, oh no. Do you think she walked in, saw you and left?
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I wish my date hadn't shown up.
Joey: It's easy, you just walk in on them having sex.
Rachel: Oh. Huh. You know, it is weird that Phoebe would set me up on a date that was awful on the same night that Joey set you up on a date that didn't even show.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Joey: Can you believe they're still not here?
Waiter: Guys, give it a rest. Nobody's betting on you tonight. Although we do have a pool going to see how long it takes that guy to cry.
Chandler: You dove in front of Ross! Ross!
Phoebe: I dont know, but were having dinner tomorrow night, so I figured, shes gonna tell me then. Y'know maybe she just wanted to give him time to, buy me presents, I dont know! So, youre all bored?
The Lurker: I don't want to see you lose a chunk of that pretty blond hair!
Joey: Thank you! So, did-did he get it?
Phoebe: But somehow you came off as the bad guy.
Chandler: I'm still mad at you for not telling me.
Danny's Sister: (opening the door) Oh, I thought I heard you.
Rachel: Yeah, well, you uh, better make it for three.
Phoebe: Wow! Im-Im so happy for you guys. (To Ross) This is so-so, not stupid.
EDDIE: I got a little surprise, look. There's a new fishie. I named him uh, Chandler, you know, after, after you.
Lauren: (yelling from onstage) Where are you Vic?
Monica: Wait! Joey! Joey! Are you okay?!
Rachel: Okay, two things didnt happen. Remember I told you that someone made out with Ralph Lauren in the copy room? Well, it turns out thats not true.
Ross: Im sorry your husband cheated on you.
Chandler: You know, Ross, some scientists are now saying that, that monkeys and babies are actually different.
Phoebe: (gasps) Youre pregnant!
MONICA: Wow. Oh wow. You know I love you too, right.
Phoebe: Well, didnt you just hear what I said?!
Chandler: No, no no no. Youll be fine. (turning to Monica) Hillarys bind, right?
Monica: I know that youre new at this, but this is completely unacceptable bath decorum.
Monica: (taking the phone) Hello, this is Monica... Yeah??? Oh... (Smiles at Rachel to reassure her) Okay, yes, we'll be right, we'll be right down.(Listens) Thank you. (Hangs up)
Mr. Geller: Well Judy, you did it! She's finally full!
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Mike: Actually I've been playing a lot of love songs lately. I've missed you.
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Phoebe: Okay, whatever. Yknow what? I dont have time have time to convince you because hes only here for four hours, and Im gonna go see him! (Gets up and leaves.)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Look at you. All jealous.
Chandler: What problem did you tell him you had?
Rachel: I think you should drink the fat.
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
ROSS: Actually it's the movie theatre that has the time schedule. So you don't miss the beginning.
Ross: Hey Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?
Chandler: I know what you meant!! (pause) You notice that ever since we got this chick, weve been fighting a lot more than we used too?
Chandler: What would you give to a kid if he wanted a ticket to play with?
Chandler: I am, Im ignoring you.
MONICA: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what, the way you did it was just fine.
Joey: Me too! Yeah. And comfortable. Do uh, do you like leather seats?
RACHEL: Monica, what are you talking about? You don't know the first thing about the stock market.
Monica: Please ... if I win the lottery, you guys are not gonna leave me. Someone gave me a basket of mini-muffins last week and I couldn't get rid of you for 3 days!
Rachel: Why aren't you guys at the movie?
Phoebe: Gosh. Im not gonna let that man make you eat your baby. (They both sit down by the rest of the gang and Phoebe recognizes a man by the window.) Oh. Hey! Who is that guy? I think I know him.
Joey: Yeah! And you have so many more choices than you do with mens underwear!
Rachel: And you really think this is a good idea?
Chandler: Umm maam, do you have a minute? (She points for him to come in) I kind of have some bad news. I dont think I can move to Tulsa.
Chandler: So did Monica tell you about this great band called the Swing Kings that were trying to get to play at the wedding?
Ross: Yeah-uh-huh. Tomorrow night, Valentines Day, the most romantic day of the year. Who knows what could happen? I might not be shutting my drapes to show her my slides, if you know what I mean.
Phoebe: (singing) I found you in my bed! Howd you whined up there? You are a mystery! Little black curly hair! Little black curly hair! Little black, little black, little black, little black, little black curly hair
Rachel (as Monica): You know what, it's feeling a lot better, thank you, um... Well, listen, why don't you two sit down and, and we'll get you some glasses... okay... (They don't know what to do with their coats and Monica points to the living room) STAT!
Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
Ross: (sees Joey) Hey. (walks into the living room) Uh, Chan, can I uh, can I talk to you for a second?
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Rachel: (gasps) Are you pregnant?!
Ursula: Sure! Why not? You could be my sister for the day.
JOEY: Ah, it's career stuff. I don't know if you heard but they killed off my character on the show.
Monica: Okay. (she gets ready to go) Can you give me a little push?
Monica: OK, look. That is Aunt Iris. This woman has been playing poker since she was five. You gotta listen to every word she says. (opens door) Hi!
Bonnie: Thanks! You too.
Chandler: What are you, stop naming dwarves! (on phone) Hello, Janice. Hi, I'm so glad that you called, I know I've been acting a really weird lately. And, it's just because I'm crazy about you, and I just got...stupid, and, and scared, and....stupid a couple of more times. I'm sorry. (listens) Really?! (listens) Really?!
Monica: Yeah you will! The right guy is just around the corner! Okay, are we done with that?
Julie: You don't think they'll judge and ridicule me?
Estelle: Joey! Its Estelle! Great news, I was able to get you and one guest tickets to your premiere.
Roger: Okay. I'll miss you.
Phoebe: Oh this, well Im glad you asked. (She opens the case and removes a knife and an soda can.) Now, dont you hate it when you have to cut a tin can with an ordinary steak knife? (She efficiently cuts it in half.) Ahh! Now, I know what youre thinking
Joey: How about 'cause if you don't, his mother might.
Chandler: I didnt know you and Carol were getting divorced, Im sorry.
Chandler: I can't believe you would actually say that. I would much rather be Mr.Peanut than Mr.Salty.
Kathy: Yeah. No, this is great. Thank you, Chandler. (They hug).
Monica: Why do you do it?
Rachel: Fine. Fine, but Ill have you know that once I taught him that stuff he called me Fun Aunt Rachel. And I loved being Fun Aunt Rachel but Ill go back to being Boring and Uncomfortable Aunt Rachel if thats what you want!
Phoebe: Bamn! There you go! Huh?
Joey: What are you in love with her or something?
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Joey: You know what? I think I'm gonna stay here and make sure he's okay.
Rachel: Oh well, you dont want to do that now?!
Rachel: Thank you.
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
Monica: (angrily) It wasnt funny at all! Why would you do that? Why didnt you pick me?
Phoebe: You didnt tell her did you?
Ross: My fault?! You threatened the judge!
Ross: Huh? Ooh (laughs) you mean like a Huh?
Phoebe: So you dont know thats Barneys the store! That can be yknow his friends house, or a bar. Who has Barneys the store on their speed dial?
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Chandler: Honey, its 2:00 on a Wednesday and Im watching Road Rules, how stressed do you think I am?
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you guys lasted a whole year!
Ross: Yeah, see.. you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Monica: Phoebe, your face is fine! Come on, none of this stuff is going to happen to you! Stop being such a baby!
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, Monica, what're you doin'? This is a poker game. You can't serve food with more than one syllable. It's gotta be like chips, or dip, or pretz...(look of realization)
Tommy: (noticing the chick) Ooh, hey! Hey, there little fella. (picks up the chick) Mr. Fuzzy-Man, how are you doing? (starts to pet him) Aww. (The chick poops on his hand.) Eww! Oh! Eww! Gross! Idiot!! Stupid little, fuzzy, yellow creature!! Oh look at me, Im so cute, Im a little chick whos disgusting! God, youre so stupid, how are you not yet extinct!! (the duck wattles behind him and quacks) (to the duck) Quack-quack, quack-quack!! What are you quacking about?! Dumb Donald Doo-Doo!!
Monica: Well, you used to dress up in Mom's clothes all the time.
Joey: Come on, I'll show you guys where to check in (Joey, Chandler and David leave)
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Janine: Yeah, well youd be better if you just loosened your hips a little.
Monica: I know this is embarrassing, but nobody cares! No one here even knows you!
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
RACHEL: You want me to just call him up and tell him that you're seeing him instead? That's what you want?
Rachel: Why, where are you going?
Ross: How do you know? You don't have a watch.
Roy: Now if you just pay me my three hundred dollars, I'll be on my way!