words in movies
Phoebe: I-I cant find anything that I want to eat! Everything I eat makes me nauseous! Im telling you, being pregnant is no piece of cakeooh! Cake! (Chandler shrugs, and Phoebe grimaces.) No.
Chandler: Wow! Pregnancy does give you some weird cravings.
Chandler: What are you writing?
Chandler: Oh yeah? (He grabs the pad and starts reading it.) Joshua, give me a call sometime, guys like you (Pause) never go out of stylewhat did you throw away?
Joey: Hey, what have you guys been up too?
Monica: I dont know how museums work in England but, here, youre not supposed to take stuff.
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Monica: Oh no, two days, you must be bummed.
Ross: Yeah, shes got to go back to London. But you know what? Ive been prepared for this from the start. We both knew we had two weeks together, and thats it. Yknow.
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Phoebe: Thats sweat. You throw up all morning, youll have that glow too.
Rachel: Oh, heres that trench-coat that you wanted.
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Rachel: Well, congratulations, so do you love her?
Rachel: You need that, you need that too cause obviously, a thief could just tear this up. (Rips up the note.)
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Emily: Youre so sweet! And Im so surprised!
Ross: You really didnt know?
Chandler: Why are you in here if Joshua is all the way over there? (Points to the living room.)
Joshua: You okay? (Rachel swallowed it whole and is not hacking like a heavy smoker in the morning.) You all right? (Rachel walks away, coughing.)
Emily: So why did you plan a party at the same time?
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Phoebe: Ooh, yeah. Then what are you going to put on top of that?
Phoebe: Oooh, yeah. Youre a genius.
Monica: You changed?
Joey: Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra.
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
Monica: Or if you want to kiss him, umm, you could use mistletoe.
Emily: (with her coat on, shes leaving with Ross) Thank you so much for this. It was really so thoughtful of you.
Rachel: What? Youre leaving?!
Rachel: No! You guys cant leave yet! You have to stay, we-we got the whole big thing planned!
Monica: Two in a row! Youve got to use your tongues now! (They kiss again.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
(Rachel spins the bottle and it lands on .wait for it .Joshua. (You thought I was going to say Ross, didnt you?) Rachel squeals in delight and starts a slow sexy crawl over to Joshua, making sure he and everyone else watching gets a good look at her cleavage.)
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Monica: Oh my God! Have you lost your mind?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Monica: I think youre done.
Joshua: You really dont seem like you do. Thats
Rachel: Can you not look at me when I say this? (He turns around) I thought that if I could get you here, I could seduce you.
Joshua: Huh. Oh, boy! (Sits down next to her.) Uhh, I-I dont wear suits to work, and I bought six of them from you.
Rachel: Well, Im sorry, I thought you needed them!
Joshua: No, no-no, no-no, my point is that I kept coming back because, I wanted to see you.
Joshua: Because I-I like you.
Rachel: You like me?
Joshua: Yeah! I mean youre-youre beautiful and smart and sophisticateda lot of this isnt based on tonight.
Rachel: Yeah but-but-but you liked me! Oh my God, I cant believe this, all this time, I liked you and you liked me!
Rachel: Oh no-no-no dont say but! No-no, buts never good! Lets just leave it at, you like me and I like you.
Rachel: Ohh, here you are. I was looking for you before. Joshuas gone so you and Emily are free to go.
Rachel: Well, if it makes you feel any better, I made a fool out of myself.
Rachel: Well, maybe you didnt want it to end?
Ross: What do you mean?
Rachel: You seem to really like her.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Ross: You think?
Rachel: Yeah, you got like 14 hours until she has to be at the airport, and youre sitting here in the hallway with a 28-year-old cheerleader with a fat lip.
Ross: Hey, youre right.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Rachel: Youre a pathetic loser, right?
Rachel: You wanna go inside and have some coffee?
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
MONICA: Did you know I was allergic to shellfish?
Phoebe: Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me.
Janine: No, but you should go to Chandlers. Because none of us knows how to cook, well probably just end up drinking all day.
Phoebe: No, its New York magazine. Its an article about the best schools in the city. So how well do you know Sting?
Gary: So uh Chandler, you like that badge I got you?
Ross: That-thats always good news. Are you okay?
Chandler: Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night! Oh no wait a minute that was you!
ROSS: Don't be silly. Ben loves you. He's just being Mr. Crankypants.
Phoebe: You didn't read this one either?!
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Rachel: C'mon, you guys, what're we gonna do, what're we gonna do?
Joey: Now go! Cause you can still catch her! And Merry Christmas from youre secret Santa! (Chandler runs out and closes the door.)
Monica: Okay. So you, me and London. Looking at people differently. Maybe he wants to do what you and I did in London with someone.
Kim: (at the door) Rachel? Do you smoke?
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Rachel: Oh god what am I gonna do you guys, I cant even comfort my own baby! Im the worst mother ever!
Ross: (shyly) You grow up.
Joey: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What? I'm not good enough for you?
Rachel: Ross do you realise this is the first time in my life Im doing something I actually care about. This is the first time in my life Im doing something that Im actually good at. I mean. if you dont get that...
CHANDLER: Oh please, I saw the way you were checking out his mouldings. You want it.
Phoebe: (leaving) Fine, fine! You would not hold up well under torture!
Monica: But Chandler lent you money!
Phoebe: Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up. (thinks for a few seconds) Just like the kids I took the money from.
Rachel: Yeah-yeah, did-didnt you use to have a pair? They were really round, burgundy, and they made you look kind of umm
Ross: No, it's just...you know the whole "getting on with your life" thing. Well, do I have to? I mean, I'm sitting here with this cute woman, and, and, and she's perfectly nice, and, but that there's, that's it. And um, and then I'm here talkin' to you, and, and it's easy, and it's fun, and, and I don't, I don't have to...You know, here's a wacky thought. Um, what's say you and I give it another shot? No no no, I know what you're gonna say, you're a lesbian. But what do you say we just put that aside for now you know? Let's just stick a pin in it, ok? Because, we're great together, you know. You can't deny it. Besides, you're carrying my baby. I mean, how perfect is that? But see, you know, you keep sayin' that, but there's somethin' right here. I love you.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
Joey: Thats right I stepped up! Shes my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, Id pee on anyone of you!
Monica: Look, guys, you can't do this, it's just going to make getting over each other, that much harder.
Chandler: Oh! Good for you Pheebs, way to go! (Breathes a sigh of relief)
Chandler: You know when "That's fine" sounds true when someone yells it and spits!
Mr. Geller: You dont secretly smoke do you?
Woman: Well you can have the suite if you want. We dont care about where we stay. Were here to celebrate our love together. We dont have to get free stuff. We just want to be together.
Ross: Dude. Well done. You know what? If I die, and Rachel dies and Monica dies then you can totally take care of Emma.
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Phoebe: Do you have my birth certificate?
Monica: And when I told her that I was gonna be moving in with Chandler, she was really supportive. (To Rachel) (Starts to cry) You were so great. You made it so easy. And now you have to leave. And I have to live with a boy!! (They both break down in tears.)
MRS GREEN: If you didn't pour the coffee, no one would have anything to drink.
Monica: What I said was, was that I understood. Joeys the one who agreed with you!
Joey: Yeah, for sure. Okay. Probably want the first thing to be, never open your eyes. Y'know, because you dont want to be doing something and then look up and see something you dont want to be seeing.
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Chandler: No! No, she didn't say that. I-I-I think you should talk to Monica now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler is answering the door in his robe.] CHAN: No, no, no, no, no, no [opens door to Monica] No. Monica, it's Sunday morning. I'm not running on a Sunday. MNCA: Why not? CHAN: Because it's Sunday. It's God's day. MNCA: OK, if you say stop, then we stop. CHAN: OK, stop. MNCA: No, c'mon, we can't stop, c'mon, we've got three more pounds to go. I am the energy train and you are on board. Woo-woo, woo-woo, woo-woo [Chandler walks out of the apartment, leaving Monica] Woo. [Scene: Rachel and Monica's apartment. Rachel is taking asprin. Ross enters.] ROSS: Hey Rach. RACH: Ahhhh. ROSS: Oh. And how was the date? RACH: Umm, I think there was a restaurant... I know there was wine. . . [Rachel looks at Ross as though she remembers something, but can't place what it is.]
Ross: Uh. Would you guys mind giving us a minute?
Ross: Okay, umm I want you to know that I have never done anything like this before. I mean, I mean Ive been in um, relationships in general, uh but I have never done it with a studentI mean I notnot it! I mean, I mean I dontWe havent done it. Uh, I mean, I mean, weve-weve-weve done stuff. (Paul is not amused.) Okay, okay, a joke, a jokelighten the mood. Umm, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
Joey: I mean, the giant is like five years younger than me, yknow, you think Ill ever get there?
Katie: No, you make them funny. You're the funny one! (She punches him again and he retreats to the arm of the couch.)
CHANDLER: Alright, I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back.
Chandler: All right, I have to get that, but no-no. (answering phone) Hello? (listens) (happily) Hi! Yeah listen, I'm, I'm in need of a stripper and I was told that you do that. (listens) Let me ask you this, what, what do you do for the extra hundred? (listens) So would I, would I have to provide the grapes?
RACH: We went through a lot of wine tonight, you guys. [walks over to table, holding five empty wine bottles]
Joey: Okay. I will. Ohh! Check out what they got me to wear for the ceremony! (Runs to his apartment and returns wearing a rather silly hat.) Huh? I wear it like this when I marry you guys, and then this (He tilts it to the side of his head) is for party time.
Rachel: Did you just say Hi, Jew?
Monica: (In a sexy voice) Come in. I've been waiting for you.
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Monica: You don't tell me what to do! I tell you what to do! Just call her. She's at the Paradise Hotel in Barbados. And while I've got you, you've got curly hair. What do you do in humidity? (Mike hangs up the phone) Damnit!
PHOEBE: So how long have you known?
Monica: I just ran into Dave and he told me that you blew him off! I mean, you listen to me! Now, I'm calling the shots! I say you leave Ross alone and go get Dave! What the hell were you trying to do?
Ross: Listen, can you do me a favor? I'm gonna be out today. Can you just keep an eye on Joey, make sure nothing happens between him and Molly?
Dr. Long: Actually, theyre things you can do. Just some home remedies, but in my experience Ive found that some of them are quite effective.
Chandler: Oh yeah, well can you picture me saying "Go to your room! You're grounded"?
Rachel: Okay, fine! But you know what? If I was in 36D, we would not be having this problem.
Rachel: Oh yeah, there you go. (Hands over the pillow.)
Rachel: Honey, you have nothing to prove. And if you really like this girl, I don't flirting is the right thing to (Ross interrupts and shushes her.)
MONICA: I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos.
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Janice: Well then ask yourself this. Why do you think we keep ending up together? New Year's? Who invited who? Valentine's? Who asked who into whose bed?
Rachel: Sure. I guess. Hey, I hear you don't have to go to London. Yay!
FBOB: No, I'm picking you up.
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Chandler: And thank you for explaining to us what escrow means... I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Ross: Oh you guys, I-I really think just one of us should go out there so she's not overwhelmed...
Mr. Zelner: Yeah, its not like I dont have a sense of humor, huh? Hell, I even enjoy a naughty limerick now and then. But theres a time and a place, huh?! Unless you uh, have a limerick right now? (They both nod no.) No? Okay, well uh, youve (Grabs the chocolates.) got my fax number. (Exits.)
Emily: Ross, they are killing you out there!
Chloe: (entering from bedroom) Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should get?
Phoebe: Thank you. Can you believe no-one between my apartment and here offered to do that for me?
Phoebe: No! I definitely don't wanna get married. No I just wanted to make sure you didn't want to too. Whew! Coz you know when we move in and you start changing your mind there's gonna be hell to pay mister!
Phoebe: (crossing her fingers and closing her eyes) Please dont be a space ship. Please dont be a space ship. (She turns on the light and looks around and finds that its the smoke detector thats beeping.) Oh thank God! (She moves a chair over and starts to investigate how to make the beeping turn off, in frustration she yanks the thing off of the wall. She sets it down and heads for bed, just as she gets there it beeps again. She opens the cover and removes the battery, but it still beeps.) How could you be beeping?! I just disconnected you! I took out your battery! How can
Joey: What?! All rightHey! Dont look at me! Youre the one who wanted to come up and look for some stupid Burger King comet!
Chandler: I need you to come to this bachelor party for my weird cousin Albert, y'know he's the botanist.
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
JOEY: No no, uh, don't thank me for comin' in. Uh, at least let me finish. Uh, we could take the expressway but uh, this time of day you're better off taking the budge. You were goin' for the word bridge there weren't ya. I'll have a good day. [gets up and leaves]
Phoebe: Yeah, Chandler why don't you take a walk? This doesn't concern you.
Rachel: What the hell is that?!! (to Monica) What the hell is that? Is that you? (Monica nods her head no, and Rachel realizes what is making that sound.) Ohhhhhhh! (storms over to Chandler and Joeys with Monica in trail.)
Phoebe: Okay. Umm, before we get started, I just wanna say for the record that I love Ross, I think hes such a great guy. Here. (Hands her the picture, Rachel grabs it out of her hand.) Okay, now, close your eyes. And imagine that youre with Ross okay and imagine that youre kissing him. And youre-youre running your hands all over his body. And then you run your hands through his hair, but eew-oh gross its some kind of grease, itsuck! Hah?
Phoebe: Hello, tiny embryos. Well, Im-Im Phoebe Buffay, hi! Im-Im-Im hoping to be your uterus for the next nine months. You should know, that were doing this for Frank and Alice, who you know, youve been there! Umm, yknow they want you so much, so when you guys get in there, really grab on. Okay, and-and I promise that Ill keep you safe and warm until youre ready to have them take you home, so Oh! And also, umm next time you see me, Im screaming, dont worry, thats whats supposed to happen.
Kathy: Okay, so let me just get this straight. Youre accusing me of cheating on you, and insulting my performance?
Ross: I'll do it. Hey, whatever you need me to do, I'm your man. (He starts to sit down on the bed. There's one problem though, he's about two feet to the left of it. Needless to say, he misses and falls on his butt.) (Looking up at Joey.) Whoa-oh-whoa! Are you, are you okay?
Phoebe: Yeah! And until then you are going to sing to me because the radios broken and you are selfish but have a nice voice.
Phoebe: Well, no, no, wait, wait, wait. All right, I gotta go. Just listen. Promise me, that you will wait a minute before you call her.
Chandler: Not as much fun as last time. Apparently you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.
Phoebe: I know but he call's and my heart goes to him. You know that bastard is one smooth talking free lance kite designer.
Joey: Well, you might wanna make a little extra, y'know youll probably be hungry after the sex.
Rachel: Its okay. Sometimes, things dont work out the way youd thought they would.
Whitfield: What do you mean, your seat?
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Joey: Well whats fun about that? You expect me to be the host of a boring game thats just people standing around answering questions?
Ross: Yeah, well, m-maybe youre right.
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!