words in movies
Monica: What you guys don't understand is, for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
Rachel: Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Chandler: The problem is, though, after the concert's over, no matter how great the show was, you girls are always looking for the comedian again, y'know? I mean, we're in the car, we're fighting traffic... basically just trying to stay awake.
Ross: Okay, okay, yes, it is. (waves) How about I'll, uh, catch up with you in the Ice Age.
Ross: You look great. I, uh... I hate that.
Carol: Sorry. You look good too.
Ross: Well... you never know. How's, um.. how's the family?
Ross: Why- why are you here, Carol?
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
Phoebe: She's already fluffed that pillow... Monica, you know, you've already fluffed that- (Monica glares at her.) -but, it's fine!
Joey: Yeah, calm down. You don't see Ross getting all chaotic and twirly every time they come.
Chandler: You don't get a lot of 'doy' these days...
Monica: You didn't.
Monica: I gave you one job! (Starts to examin the lasagne through the bottom of the glass pan.)
Chandler: Now, Monica, you know that's not how you look for an engagement ring in a lasagne...
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Rachel: Well now, how-how do you fit into this whole thing?
Rachel: So what are you gonna do?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, Martha Ludwin's daughter is gonna call you. (Tastes a snack) Mmm! What's that curry taste?
Mr. Geller: (To Ross) Do you remember the Ludwins? The big one had a thing for you, didn't she?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, she just graduated, and she wants to be something in cooking, or food, or.... I don't know. Anyway, I told her you had a restaurant-
Monica: Ross, could you come and help me with the spaghetti, please?
Monica: I know this is going to sound unbelievably selfish, but, were you planning on bringing up the whole baby/lesbian thing? Because I think it might take some of the heat off me.
Mr. Geller: I'm not gonna tell you what they spent on that wedding... but forty thousand dollars is a lot of money!
Mr. Geller: Don't listen to your mother. You're independent, and you always have been! Even when you were a kid... and you were chubby, and you had no friends, you were just fine! And you would read alone in your room, and your puzzles...
Mr. Geller: Look, there are people like Ross who need to shoot for the stars, with his museum, and his papers getting published. Other people are satisfied with staying where they are- I'm telling you, these are the people who never get cancer.
Monica: (trying desperately to change the subject) So, Ross, what's going on with you? Any stories? (Digs her elbow into his hand.) No news, no little anecdotes to share with the folks?
Ross: (pulls his hand away) Okay! Okay. (To his parents) Look, I, uh- I realise you guys have been wondering what exactly happened between Carol and me, and, so, well, here's the deal. Carol's a lesbian. She's living with a woman named Susan. She's pregnant with my child, and she and Susan are going to raise the baby.
Mrs. Geller: (To Monica) And you knew about this?!
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Monica: Chandler, you're an only child, right? You don't have any of this.
Ross: Anyway.. um.. (Starts to sweep.) So, you- uh- you nervous about Barry tomorrow?
Ross: Well, you may wanna steer clear of the word 'dumped'. Chances are he's gonna be this, this broken shell of a man, y'know, so you should try not to look too terrific, I know it'll be hard. Or, y'know, uh, hey!, I'll go down there, and I'll give Barry back his ring, and you can go with Carol and Susan to the OB/GYN...
Rachel: I mean, didn't you think you were just gonna meet somone, fall in love- and that'd be it? (Ross gazes at her.) ..Ross?
Carol: Ross, you remember Susan.
Rachel: (hesitates) Are you sure?
Rachel: I'm- uh- I'm okay... You look great!
Ross: Still, you- you say Minnie, you hear Mouse. Um, how about, um.. how about Julia?
Barry: Sorry about that. So. What have you been up to?
Rachel: Why are- why are you so tanned?
Rachel: Oh no. You went on our honeymoon alone?
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Barry: Not for her. Listen, I really wanted to thank you.
Barry: See, about a month ago, I wanted to hurt you. More than I've ever wanted to hurt anyone in my life. And I'm an orthodontist.
Barry: You know, you were right? I mean, I thought we were happy. We weren't happy. But with Mindy, now I'm happy. Spit.
Rachel: Anyway, um, (Gets the ring out of her purse.) I guess this belongs to you. And thank you for giving it to me.
Barry: Well, thank you for giving it back.
Ross: Thank you!
Ross: Oh, 's'funny, really? Um, I don't remember you making any sperm.
Carol: All right, you two, stop it!
Susan: Oh, no, nonononono, you see what he's doing? He knows no-one's gonna say all those names, so they'll wind up calling her Geller, then he gets his way!
Phoebe: You know, if you tilt your head to the left, and relax your eyes, it kinda looks like an old potato.
Ross: Wh- are you welling up?
Ross: You are, you're welling up.
Rachel: (on phone) Hi, Mindy. Hi, it-it's Rachel. Yeah, I'm fine. I-I saw Barry today. Oh, yeah, yeah he-he told me. No, no, it's okay. I hope you two are very happy, I really do. Oh, oh, and Mind, y'know, if-if everything works out, and you guys end up getting married and having kids- and everything- I just hope they have his old hairline and your old nose. (Slams the phone down.) (To everyone) Okay, I know it was a cheap shot, but I feel so much better now.
Dr. Ledbetter: I must say it's nice to see you back on your feet.
JOEY: And you feel like we hold you back.
Chandler: There's not gonna be a next time! You can not ever see him again!
Phoebe: Or...or we can chant and dance around naked, you know, with sticks.
Phoebe: I just cant decide who she looks more alike, you or Rachel?
PHOEBE: Ok, do you know how to go from D to A minor?
Joey: Back when you and Rachel were together, if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
Monica: Yeah, you have to go fight for her!
Ursula: What? (Indicating the departing waiter) Do you think he likes me?
Phoebe: Well Yeah. You look great too. Did you get a haircut?
CHANDLER: You know I think he will be surprised, 'till he realizes he's a monkey, and uh, you know, isn't capable of that emotion.
Monica: Pretty much. (to Joey) So, what do you, what do you think of the floor?
Phoebe: (Grabs the pictures) Oh! Here we all are! Yeah, there's Ross and Joey and you and me. (She picks up a magic marker and draws herself in. Monica can't watch.)
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Rachel: OH! What's it the anniversary of? Your first date, your first kiss, first time you had sex...
Phoebe: Hey, its your Thanksgiving too, y'know, instead of watching football, you could help.
Phoebe: Thats like the pervert motto! Yeah! Yeah! They have you raise your right hand, put your left hand down your pants, and repeat that!
Phoebe: You guys. You suck too. (She hugs them both.)
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Ross: Well, aren't you forgetin' something? What, what, what is uh, what is that guy's name? Dad!
Monica: Ohh, Im so glad. Thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean its really, its made me stay calm. (Chandler just looks at her.) I coulda been worse!
Kathy: I uh, dont really have a preference. You?
Chandler: Yeah I even (pause) got a ring. (Puts in on the center cushion.) Did you get a ring?
Ross: What does this mean? What do you, I mean do you wanna, get back together?
David: Allright... But... if I ever do come back from Minsk... (points at Mike) well, you just better watch out.
Agency guy: (he enters with Erica) Monica, Chandler. I'd like you to meet Erica.
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
Chandler: Night-night.....Janice. (he starts thinking to him self) 'Look at all that room on her side, you good fit a giant penguin over there. That would be weird though. Okay, hug and roll time. I'm huggin', I'm huggin', your rollin', and....yes! Freedom! (his one arm is still under her) Except for this arm! I'm stuck. Stuck arm! Okay, time for the old table cloth trick, one fluid motion. Quick like a cat, quick like a cat! And 1...2...3!' (Pulls his arm out from under her and she is spun off of the bed.)
CAROL: Anyway, we'd like you to come, but we totally understand if you don't want to.
Ross: Yes. I mean, its what we always planned. And if you have a plan, you should stick to it. Thats why they call them plans. Hello? (Pause) Im fine.
Monica: Oh its so cute. I wonder what age it is when you stop being able to put both legs over your head.
Cecilia: Youre not the fan whos dying are you?
PHOEBE: I can't believe you caved.
Mark: How've you been?
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Phoebe: (To Mike) Oh, you just caught me off guard! Yeah, that would be nice.
Chandler: If you get this one, we buy everybody here a steak dinner!
Ross: No. No, no. She doesn't want to see you right now.
Phoebe: Ross, youre being ridiculous! Okay? You are cute and smart and sweet and that is much more important than three stupid divorces!
Joey: Look, don't you think that will be a little weird?
Joey: (to Ross) I'll show you how.
MONICA: [her and Richard return to her place] So are you ok?
Ross: Well, yeah, of-of course Im okay! What? Im just being supportive. Supportive of you and this whole trip, and-and (notices something) what-what is uh, whats this? (He holds up a rather skimpy bathing suit.)
Chandler: You obviously haven't tasted my Palmolive potatoes!
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Rachel: Why did you invite my mother?!
Phoebe: So, youre like a zillionaire? (Pete smiles and nods)
Chandler: (in a high pitched voice) What?! I didnt even know thatWhy didnt you tell me?! (Pause) Why am I talking like this?!
Joey: I dont want to talk about it. Yknow, you couldve at least saved me a whole cookie. (He grabs whats left of the cookie and pops in his mouth.)
Joey: But hey, thanks for teachin' us Cross-Eyed Mary. You guys, we gotta play that at our regular game.
[Scene: Caesar's Palace Casino, Chandler is looking for Monica while Tom Jones's signature song is playing in the background (Getting the theme yet? Tom Jones, Wayne Newton, casinos They're in Vegas people! Catch up!) It's Not Unusual, y'know, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone! It's not unusual to have fun with anyone! But when I see you hanging about with anyone, it's not unusual to see me cry! I wanna die." Well, while that's playing he spots Monica playing craps and in victory hug the guy next to her. Chandler turns and walks out.]
RACHEL: Yes, but you can not tell Ross 'cause I want to surprise him.
Phoebe: No, no, it's not your fault. You know it's partly my fault, 'cause I made you quit cold turkey. Sorry, no. Okay, well, I mean, I can't date you anymore, 'cause your, you know (in a high pitched voice) Wow! But um, but I will definitely, definitely help you get over my sister. Okay, stalk me for a while. Huh? Yeah, and, and, and, I'll be like an Ursula patch.
JOEY: I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
Monica: So, did you play in college? (She points to his NYU Soccer (football for the rest of the world) sweatshirt he's wearing.)
Ross: No, no, NO, you cannot go to dinner with him.
Phoebe: Well alright, looks like you guys have got it under control so Im just gonna go. (She gets up and Rachel looks at her, upset, and Monica just stares.) No! Really? Misery really does love company. All right! (She sits back down.)
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Monica: Ugh, I knew giving you that book was gonna come back and bite me in the ass!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Monica: But Phoebe, you can go out with a creepy guy any night of the year. I know I do.
Joey: Oh! I forgot you used to live here!
Chloe: What? Are you married? Cause thats okay.
Phoebe: I just asked you.
Joey: (To Rachel) So uh, how you doin?
Chandler: Wait a minute, wait a minute, you dont like the guy Rachels dating? Well, thats odd.
Chandler: Well, what did you think, that-that elves came in and fixed it?
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Chandler: Hey Joe! We've got a couple of things we've got to check out at the new house. You want to come with us?
Phoebe: Aw, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.
Chandler: Ah, I dont know, you tell me. Anything you ah, wanna tell me, because, if you ah, you should, if you, you would, tell me.
Rachel: Thank you. (He goes to leave.) Hey-hey umm, uh, is there, is there any such thing as an annulment shower?
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
CHANDLER: You, move out. Take your fruit, your stupid small fruit and GET OUT!
Monica: Did you just hung up on me? (she hangs up too) All right, look, I need you at the rehearsal dinner tonight at 1800 hours.
Phoebe: Okay. Im going with you.
Monica: Sweety, what are you talking about?
Phoebe: That's okay. If - if we hit anything, the engine will explode, so you know, it's better if you're thrown from the car.
Cassie: It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, you look just like your grandmother. How old was she there?
Mindy: Okay, okay... when Barry was engaged to you, he and I...kind of... had a little thing on the side.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
Charlie: Wait. Are you talking about the Dewar grant?
Monica: Joey, you dont have to finish that.
Guru Saj: Well, relax. If it makes you feel better, Ive attended some of the finest medical schools in Central America. Well then, lets take a look at this skin abnormality of yours. (motions to the table) Come on, have a seat. (looks at it) Eeh, huh. As I suspected, its a koondis!
Chandler: Oh Maria. You cant say no to her, shes like this lycra spandex covered gym treat.
Phoebe: Im hearing what youre saying, but at our prices everyone needs toner.
Chandler: (looking at the sketch) Oh, I see. I thought you just really, really liked your new couch.
Phoebe: You think hes emotionally unavailable?
Tag: I just wanted to come by and thank you for not laughing in my face yesterday. And I noticed there arent any plants in your office so I wanted to bring you your first (Notices her plant) There is a plant in your office.
Ross: You damn kids! You ring my bell one more time, I swear to (Opens the door to find Jill standing there.) Ohh, uh Jill. Umm, that-thats just a little game I play with the kids down the hall. Umm, theyve really taken a liking to me. (Quickly looks out to see if theyre watching.) Uhh whats-whats-whats the matter?
Chandler: You kissed my best Ross! ...Or something to that effect.
Rachel: Okay, youd tell me the truth. Right?
Angela: Bob is great. He's smart, he's sophisticated, and he has a real job. You, you go on three auditions a month and you call yourself an actor, but Bob...
Joey: (to Kate) That guys like a cartoon. What do you see in him anyway?
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
Allesandro: Well, you said that we except the Discover Card, which we do not!
CHANDLER: You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. I'll see you man.
Chandler: Right, I mean, come on, I'm sure that if you had a funeral or a memorial service, tons of people would come.