words in movies
Phoebe: Oh! Joey uh, were you in our room last night?
Monica: Thats true! (Happily) I knew I married you for a reason!
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Chandler: What? What did you take a picture of?
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Chandler: Hey. (He sees that Ross is packing all of the hotel toiletries) Soaps? Shampoos? Are you really taking all this stuff?
Chandler: Yeah but you dont need(Picks up something)What is this?
Chandler: The cameras? Remember last night I told you to take them?
Ross: No you didnt.
Chandler: Yes! Remember? Right before we cut the cake, I went up to you and I said
Ross: Oh-oh yeah, you-you came up to me and asked if I could do you a favor, and my Uncle Murray came up to you and handed you a check. And then you said, "Why do they call it a check? Why not a Yugoslavian?" (Chandler laughs.) Yeah, then you did that.
Chandler: So you dont have the cameras?!
Ross: Well, Im sure theyre still somewhere here in the hotel. Ill-Ill help you look for them.
Phoebe: Are you gonna open the presents without Chandler?
Monica: No! (Pause) But, theyre callin out to me! I mean this little guy (Holds up a small one) even crawled up into my lap. Oh come on, Chandler wouldnt mind if I opened just one present! What do you think it is?
Phoebe: A little mirror that when you look into it you see yourself as an old woman.
Monica: Whew. Although yknow, this is part of a salt and pepper set. I mean I guess yknow it may just count as a half a present. What do you think?
Monica: Hey, how are you feelin? Any morning sickness?
Phoebe: Yeah thats right Chandler does still think Im pregnant. He hasnt asked me how Im feeling or offered to carry my bags. Boy, I feel bad for the woman who ends up with him. (Monica looks at her.) After you of course.
Rachel: Dont worry I promise that you will only have to be pregnant for a few more hours, cause Im going to tell the father today.
Rachel: Well then you have his baby.
Monica: Wow. Yknow it is so weird. I mean, youre gonna tell this guy today and he has no idea whats gonna happen.
Phoebe: Yeah. Youre just gonna knock on his door and change his life forever. Youre like Ed McMahon except without the big check, or the raw sexual magnetism.
Rachel: Hey Joey, what would you do if someone that you slept with told you that she was pregnant?
Rachel: Oh Joey! Joey! No, its not you! You didnt get anybody pregnant!
Joey: Oh. Why would you scare me like that? What the hell is going on? (Pause.) Is somebody pregnant?
Joey: Oh my God Pheebs! Youre gonna have a baby?
Phoebe: You dont know him. Its not important. He wants nothing to do with me or the baby. (She sits down like shes pregnant.)
Chandler: Hey! Did you find the cameras?
Ross: No. Did you?
Ross: Now you guys just got married, why is she so depressed?
Chandler: Are you suggesting we dance our troubles away?
Chandler: Are you serious?
Ross: Im just thinking about your new bride at home. Okay? Do-do you really want to start your life together by letting her down?
Ross: Im telling you, this looks exactly like your wedding! Arent these the same flowers?
Ross: What did you do?
Phoebe: Hey! Ooh, did you do it yet?
Phoebe: Oh, well what are you doing here? Are you about to do it? (Gasps) Is it Gunther?
Rachel: No, you! Phoebe you freaked me out. You kept saying how huge this all is!
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Monica: No! No! I shouldnt have even opened these! I mean IJoey I am out of control!! Joey, you have to do me a favor. No matter what I say, no matter what I do, please do not let me open another present! Okay?
Joey: Oh good, uh youre here. Uh Pheebs? Listen uh sit down. I-I got something I want to say.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
Phoebe: Hell yeah! Ill marry you! (She grabs the ring and puts it on.)
Monica: You cant marry him!
Monica: Phoebe I think he would notice if you didnt have a baby in nine months!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
Chandler: (to another couple) Uh, excuse me? Could you take a picture of us?
Man At The Wedding: Uh, would you take one of us?
Woman At The Wedding: Why wont you take our picture?
Chandler: Who are you? Ansel Adams?! Get outta here!
Phoebe: Look, I feel really bad about how I freaked you out before, so I called the father and asked him to meet you here so you can tell him. Go!
Rachel: What? Hey wait a minute! Phoebe, how do you even know who the father is?
Phoebe: Uh-huh. Now you can turn around or you can go in there and rip the Band-Aid off. What to you want to do?
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure?
Chandler: Why dont you go up on stage. Ill get a picture of you doing the speech.
Chandler: Okay, you ready for the last picture?
Phoebe: Rachel has something that she wants to tell you and umm, I believe that this is your red sweater.
Rachel: Nothing! Phoebe kinda made a mistake. But yknow you do wear that sweater a lot, are you involved in some kind of dare?
Tag: Yknow, Im actually glad Phoebe called. (He pulls out a stool and Rachel sits down.) I know we broke up because you thought I wasnt mature enough, but Ive really grown up and think we should get back together.
Rachel: You can go.
Tag: Thank you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Joey: (entering) You opened them all?
Joey: Oh hey! You got my parents gift! (Holds it up.)
Joey: I do Rach. I do, and I so happy for you. (They hug.)
Rachel: Oh wow, you didnt even try to unhook my bra!
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Joey: Hey Rach listen, no matter what this guy says I want you to know youre not gonna be alone in this.
Joey: Listen I uh (He takes her hand.) Its a scary world out there especially if youre a single mom. Yknow, I always felt like you and I have this-this special bond. Yknow? So, (gets down on one knee again) Rachel Green will you marry me?
Rachel: No! Joey, oh youre so sweet. Youre so-so sweet, honey. But Im not, Im not looking for a husband.
Rachel: Now, if you will excuse me I am going to go and lie down. (Exits.)
Phoebe: I cant say that didnt hurt. But Ill take you back Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: There you go!
Ross: Now you are going to love these.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Monica: You kissed another woman!
Phoebe: Wait you stole those from these peoples wedding?
Ross: Hey! How you doing?
Ross: (shows Tag his sweater tag) Umm, I dont some Italian guy. Come on, read your own label. See you later.
Phoebe: Oh, good!Ok, good for you!Try to recapture the magic!
ROSS: Oh, you know . . . we just drank some beer and Mike played with the boundaries of normal social conduct.
Ross: Gandolf the wizard. (Joey is still confused) Hello! Didnt you read Lord of the Rings in high school?
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving! I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like-like Fourth of July with no apple pie! Or Friday with no two pizzas!
Rachel: Oh! Ow! (Joey motions, "You see what I mean?!")
MONICA: Well it wasn't that many guys. I mean, if you consider how many guys there actually are, it's a very small percentage.
RACHEL: Why? Who's not having. . . Are you and Julie not, are, are you and, are you and Julie not having sex?
Rachel: Did you at least win the contest?
Monica: Well, you tell a lot of jokes!
[Scene: Las Vegas, we have the typical glamour shots of Vegas, the Strip, slot machines, a couple other gaming tables all set to the tune of you guessed it, Money. Anyhoo, we finally get through that and watch Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe enter Caesar's Palace carrying their luggage.]
Ross: Oh yeah, I'm sure he's gonna give you a job. Maybe make you his SEXretary.
CHANDLER: What're you kidding? I broke up with her. She actually thought that Sean Penn was the capital of Cambodia.
Joey: (looking at the checkbook) Wow! Look at this! He wrote a check for 50,000 dollars to Hugo Ligrens Ring Design. (Monica is stunned) Oh, sorry, what do you think the good news is?
MRS. GREENE: Alright, Monica dear, I'm gonna hit the road. Now I've left my 10 verbs on the table. And you be sure and send me that finished poem.
Monica: Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act mean and distant until you get us to break up with you.
Ross: No wait! Look, wait! Okay, you can hang up, but I'm gonna keep calling! I'm gonna, I'm gonna call everyone in England if that's what it takes to get you to talk to me!
Phoebe: Wow! Five-month maternity leave, you're back for four days, kiss a co-worker, call in sick, they are lucky to have you!!
Ross: You know, I think that�s a good idea�our babysitter just pounded in another Chardonnet. (both get up) Bye, y�guys.
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.
Chandler: (interrupting) Oh-no-no-no! Dont! Dont! See-see, youre getting me confused, Im starting to urn.
Ross: (to Rachel) Im really glad we came. (Rachel smiles and rubs his arm) Youre so pretty. I love you.
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Phoebe: I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?
Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Joey: Okay. Well, if that's how you feel about it, fine! None of you get to live with me in my great big hand-shaped mansion! Except uh, you Pheebs. You can live in the thumb.
Chandler: Ahh, do you have any coconut flavoured deities?
RACHEL: Well, people missed you in there. And in fact, there was actually a request for "Smelly Cat".
Joey: I mean, this soap opera is a great gig, but... am I missing opportunities? You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor. I mean, should I be trying to do more independent movies?
Joeys Sister: So! Me neither! God, Mary-Angela was right you do have the softest lips.
Joey: Will you grow up? I'm not talking about sexy stuff, but, like, when I'm cooking naked.
Monica: Come here! Come here! (They hug.) Sweetie you dont have to worry. No, besides yknow what? Im gonna have a lot of new things with you. The first time we buy a house. Our first kid. Our first grandkid
Ross: Oh, oh, ok, great. You know what, while you're at it she said another word the other day, why don't you, why don't you look up: pbbqqt....
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Ross: and then, we couldve gone from the ceremony to the reception with you in the sidecar!
First Dorm Guy: You put your balloons down!!
Joey: The same way you lost. I started out with a King and a Queen, bamn! Ross gets a 2 and a 3. Then I get a Jack and a King, boom! Ross gets a 4 and a 5! Ross was getting the Cup card, the D-Cup, the Sittin Down Bonus! Meanwhile, I didnt even get half a cup! Nothin!!
Ross: Yeah. Listen about that, the whole uh, who came on to who thing really doesnt matter. I mean, I think it wouldve happened either way. I mean if you hadnt initiated it I-I-I know I wouldve.
PHOEBE: Ooh, look at you fancy lads. What's the occasion?
Monica: Oh, now you want a pad.
Ross: (covering his ears and screaming) La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! Okay, okay, yeah, I would have been devastated but, I would still want to be with you. Because its, I mean its you.
Melanie: I don't know, I-I guess I just had you pegged as one of those guys who're always 'me, me, me.' But you... you're a giver. You're like the most generous man I ever met. I mean... you're practically a woman.
Hayley: (laughs) your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything?
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: So honey this uh, this threesome thing umm, I mean how-how are you gonna start to find
Dr. Zane: We do five because that gives you a 25% chance that at least one will attach.
Ross: Umm, candles, champagne, yeah anniversaries are great. Cause you know love lasts forever, y'know. Nothing like it in this lifetime, money in the bank, so Rachel and I broke up.
Phoebe: well it was awful every time I thought about what you said I started crying.
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Chandler: HA-HA! All you got was Monica's stinky Brussels sprouts!
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Mike: After you, miss Banana Hammock.
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Chandler: Ooh, you know, I had a grape about five hours ago, so I'd better split this with you.
Phoebe: You guys! You guys! You don't have to fight over her anymore. (she goes out into the hallway and enters with an even more hideous painting/collage. One of those faceles mannequins heads wearing a blueish dress and orange gloves reaching out into the room. Around the head 3 small dolls are hovering.) Whoever doesn't get Gladys gets Glynnis. (Rachel and Monica are gasping for air at the sight of this monstrous piece of art.)
Monica: We're supposed to uh, be spending a romantic weekend together, it-it, what is the matter with you?
Phoebe: You guys, you know what I just realized? 'Joker' is 'poker' with a 'J.' Coincidence?
Chandler: Uh, are you crazy? Are you insane? If you live with Phoebe, you two are gonna be y'know, live-living together!
Ross: Yeah, obvious beauty's the worst. You know, when it's right there in your face. Me, I like to have to work to find someone attractive. Makes me feel like I earned it.
Ross: Yeah, I'd probably enjoy it more if you didn't keep batting my hand away.
Chandler: Yes, yes she is. Didnt I memo you on this? See, after I let her go, err, I got a call from her psychiatrist, Dr. Flanen-nen, Dr. Flanen, Dr. Flan.
Hilda: Thank you! Good meeting you.
Rachel: I dont know, it was you and a bunch of albino kids.
Jeannine: (to Monica) All right, I just got changed in thirty seconds so you can be alone with him. You'd better go for it.
Don: Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any?
Rachel: Ross, you know what? She may need one..We're just going to have to make our peace with that!
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
(To start this task, she lowers the top of her robe to reveal that she is naked from the waist up, well at least her back is, and starts to rub on the gunk. Chandler notices this, and has something start happening. Ill let you fill in the blank here.)
Tommy: Hot coffee!!! You idiot!! You were gonna spill hot coffee all over me, huh?!! What are you just some big, dumb, stupid, doofy idiot, with a doofy idiot hairdo, huh?! Huh?!
Rachel: Yeah, but she also invited you and Ross. Yeah, honey, Im sorry, but I dont think that was a romantic thing.
Chandler: Joey, its been three days, okay.. Your just a little homesick, Okay. Would you just try to relax. Just, just try to enjoy yourself.
Fireman #1: No-no-no, do you uh light candles? Burn incense?
Monica: Wow! You made a profit!
Rachel: Ross, get over it! Its not like she hates you.
Ross: Joey comeI cant believeI bring you here to see the Bapstein-King comet, one of natures most spectacular phenomenon, and all you care about are bugs stuck in tar and-and some woman!
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Aurora: So what do you want?
The Interviewer: Well umm, another thing our readers always want to know is how our soap stars stay in such great shape. Do you have some kind of fitness regime?
Joey: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
Phoebe: Yeesh, whatd you do about it?
Chandler: Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
PHOEBE: You know what, that's it, that's it. [She rips off the mits, Ryan follows her lead.]
MONICA: Al-alright, l-look you guys, this is the best relationship I've been in. . .
Young Ethan: Well, you never told me how old you were.
Joey: Oh! Maybe they'll name yours after you! Y'know, they'll call it, The Ross. And then people would be like, "Awww, he's got a Ross."
Rachel: Well yeah, but I mean, it was good scared though, you know? Like when I-moved-to-New-York scared. Or uhm, when I-found-out-I-was-gonna-have-Emma scared... But this is... fine. This is gonna be good. (they both stare around)
Chandler: Thats not backing me up! Look, you said with the off-stage and the heat, and the onstage and the oy heat.
Paul: (To Rachel) Thank you, its my moms. So this is the kitchen.
Joey: Why are you going? He said, she wanted the shrew! (runs after the waiter)
PHOEBE: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging around?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
Ross: Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off!
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
Joey: Hey little buddy, how are you feeling? (The duck does not get sick and Joey recoils in horror and heads for the couch.) What the hell is in that face cream? (Hes about to try out the couch but notices the bed in Rachels room. He walks into her room and feels the bed.) Thats so soft. (He pulls back the comforter.) Pillowcases! (He climbs in and groans in delight. Suddenly, he feels something under him and pulls out a little beat up paperback book. He opens it and starts to read from it.) (In his head.) Zelda looked at the chimney sweep. Her father, the vicar (Stops reading and thinks.) The vicar? (Continues reading) wouldnt be home for hours. Her loins were burning. She threw caution to the wind and reached out and grabbed his (Out loud.) Whoa! (Reads on in silence.) Whoa-ho-ho-ho! This is a dirty book! (Continues to read.)
Rachel: OH! And the year before that, when you set up that nighttime tour of that button factory?
Roger: Oh, just seems as though that maybe you have intimacy issues. Y'know, that you use your humour as a way of keeping people at a distance.