words in movies
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: You sold me out.
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Joey: You hug me!
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Phoebe: Umm, I think youre really, really great...
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Monica: Ross, are you okay?
Monica: Thank god, it's just you! I thought someone was swinging a bag of cats against the wall.
Phoebe: Ooh, this is so exciting! Ooh, God, what are you going to bet?
Monica: Oh! Why didn't you tell me? I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
Monica: Oh, sweetie. Oh, look at you. You're shivering.
Parker: And Im with you! What a great time to be alive! Look at this plate-bouncy thing. (Bounces the plates) What an inspired solution to mans plate dispensing problems.
Rachel: And now youre watching me walk away.
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Ross: (To Phoebe) Hey Pheebs! How's that uh, vegetarian pizza working out for ya? You and those vegetables have a real thing going on, huh?
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Chandler: (approaching) Here you go Joe, heres the freshly squeezed orange juice you asked for. (Hands it to him.)
Monica: I dont remember. Do you wanna take a walk?
Rachel: Joey, youre gonna have to stop rushing me, you know what? You dont get any dessert.
Mona: I missed you, too! So, how was your week?
Joey: Thank you!
Ross: I meanno, its just cause, its just cause you and I were like a nightmare. (Screams.) No, but there was some good times.
Monica: Why? Do you think hes still mad at us?
Phoebe: Ok. Hello everyone and thank you all for being here tonight. So tomorrow's the big event and some of you might not know, but Mike and I didn't get off to the best start. (she reads a note). My friend Joey and I decided to fix each other up with friends so I, I... (Monica is twirling her hands in order to make Phoebe speed up her speech) oh I... hum... I gave it a lot of thought and I fixed him up with my friend Mary Ellen who couldn't be here tonight because... (Monica is tapping her watch with her finger) it's not important... she is in rehab. Anyway, so, ok, Joey said that he was fixing me up with his friend Mike, only he didn't have a friend Mike so he just brought, uhm, my Mike and, and (Monica clears her throat) but despite, you know... it got... it got good. Ok, I wanna take a moment to mention my mother, who couldn't be here...
Ross: You even have to ask?! (He grabs a lollypop out of a jar) (Sees Rachel) (To Rachel) He is alive!
Rachel: (entering) Okay, stop what youre doing, I need envelope stuffers, I need stamp lickers.....
Pete: Why would you say that?
Ross: I love you. (goes to kiss her and she turns away.)
Monica: Hey! Didnt you have that outfit on last night?
Joey: What are you doing?
Monica: Oh, Im sorry. Can I get you something?
Ross: You have a line down your face.
Chandler: He thought you said gonad.
Ross: Wait a minute; you don't think it was intentional? I mean, that's just stupid.
Chandler: (to Joey) You not gonna believe this: She lied! She tricked me into having sex with her.
Joey: But, I love you.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Rachel: Oh, sure! Do you need me to train somebody new?
Director: You really think this man is speaking French?
Phoebe: Hey! I brought you some house warming gifts.
Rachel: What? Youre leaving?!
Monica: But you live here! (Ross rolls his eyes.) You know that.
Chandler: Thank you so much for agreeing to see us.
Ross: Just admit it Chandler, you have no backhand.
Chandler: Actually, no. No, it felt right. You know, it felt like uhm... I can't believe we haven't been doing this the whole time.
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Rachel: Okay, you know what/ Youre going to have to call that plane and tell them to swing around and come and pick me up.
Chandler: Well, I can't believe I've been here almost seven seconds and you haven't asked me how my date went.
Ross: Okay, y'know how you told me I should do whatever it takes to fix my marriage?
Joey: And you got a 'hate' from that?! Your taking a big leap there...
PHOEBE: Um, do you wanna sit?
Monica: But getting over was the hardest thing that Ive ever had to do. And I never let myself think about you.
Phoebe: Thank you! And Happy Holidays.
Rachel: Uhm... you haven't told these guys what they're doing in the wedding yet.
Rachel: You put holes in my baby's ears!
Monica: You had no relationship!!
Chandler: You wanna play?
Rachel: I uh, I have two tickets to the Knicks game tonight if youre interested, just as a thank you for this week.
Phoebe: Me too! (turning to Monica) Monica, do you think we could do it?
Monica: Ross didnt scare you?
Chandler: Do you think I work at some kind of boot pricing company?
MR. GREENE: Oh hello Ross, where have you been?
Chandler: Youre coming on to the entire room! (He goes over to pick up a stack of magazines next to her, and to get her attention, he throws them back down.) Im Chandler.
Chandler: Okay. (Sees the living room.) You opened all the presents without me?! I thought we were supposed to do that together!
Phoebe: (shouting as he leaves) If you never smoke again I'll give you seven thousand dollars!
Joey: Alright alright. You're a monkey. You're loose in the city. Where do you go?
Monica: Well,fall out of it. You know, you shouldn't even be here, it's a school night. Oh god, oh god. I'm like those women that you see with shiny guys named Chad. I'm Joan Collins.
Rachel: You can keep those pants by the way.
Monica: What kinda things have you been saying?
Danny: You are! (Hits her back.)
PHOEBE: Oh yeah, so you know D?
Phoebe: You know what, we're gonna have sex. Let's just leave it there.
Rachel: Okay, maybe they are not funny to you
Phoebe: Okay, can you really tapdance?
Chandler: Well, why can't you do them tomorrow?
Rachel: Oh, what are you going to do?! Are you gonna go run tell Monica?! Are you gonna tell Joey?! No! Because then you will have to tell them what we did! We are desert stealers! We are living outside the law!
Chandler: When did that happen to you?!
Joey: Yeah? Well, I dont want to talk to you Wayne! I hate you! You ruined my life! Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. (They shake hands.)
Ross: I told her I'd have to think about it. I mean, how the hell am I supposed to make this kind of a decision? (They're all quiet.) I'm actually asking you!
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
JOEY: Look, I'm sorry but that's what Joseph does, ok. If you try to pull somethin', he'll call you on it. 'What're you tryin' to pull,' he'll say.
Ross: So what, Joey? Wh-wh-what? What are you telling me? That theres nothing we can do? Well, how could this happen?!
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Rachel: Yeah I know, and I bet you thought it would be weird. But its not!
MR. GELLER: Look, I know what you're going through. When I turned 50 I got the Porsche. You... you got your own little speedster.
MONICA: So Joey, why didn't you grow a moustache?
Susan: You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true.
Joey: All right. Chandler, do you remember how I told you about our fridge?
Rachel: All right, you guys, I kinda gotta clean up now. (They all start to leave.)
Monica: Uh, Chandler did! What does he want you to give up? Phoebe: A bunch of stuff. And the worst one... he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: Here, let me help you. (they both start opening boxes)
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
JOEY: What're you talking about, everybody loves Joseph.
Chandler: Ah, look on the bright side, I mean you won't have to live with this ugly chair! That was here already huh? I love you. (they hug again)
JOEY: [walks out of his room] Hey, this is ridiculous. I'll tell you what. After I get back from my neice's christening, I'll go down to the coffee house with you and we'll all have a nice cup of coffee alright. No problem, Joey's there.
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
RACHEL: Oh that's so cute:� Ross and Mike's first date.� Is that going to be awkward?� I mean, what are you guys going to talk about?
Ross: (to Rachel) Oh, youre nice to her.
Phoebe: Dont be worried about that! Your tombstone can say whatever you want it to say! It could say, Ross Geller, Good at Marriage! Yknow? Mines gonna say Phoebe Buffay, Buried Alive.
MONICA: You have dinosaur checks?
RACH: No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking.
Chandler: Youll be perfect for this! Thats already your name!