words in movies
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: You sold me out.
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Joey: You hug me!
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Casting Director #1: Whenever youre ready.
Phoebe: Yeah, I think it was better when you guys were sad. Hey, uh, remember the roller blades?
Chandler: So you uh, want to do something tonight?
Chandler: Well you might if it were anything like 7!
Monica: Drunk enough to know that I want to do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
RACHEL: OK, you know what, are, are you being like, the blind date guy again?
Joey: You know, uh... [Joey moves the pen case out onto the counter.] Chandler got you a gift, too.
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
Joey: Dude, you should've gone out once and a while.
Rachel: Do you guys want these?
Phoebe: Okay, thank you, Mr. Heckles. (They move off)
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Ok, we've got great news.
Mike: Phoebe writes lots of great songs. Wha... What was that one you sang the other night that everybody just loved?
JOEY: Come on you guys, one more time.
Doctor: Oh my. Were gonna need to take you straight to the delivery room.
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Rachel: Monica, you dont even have a bed, you sleep in a ball on the floor!
Rachel: You just did a little dancy thing.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Monica: Well Ross, you be careful now. You dont want to get a reputation as yknow Professor McNailshisstudents.
Rachel: Yeah! I dont think youre going to need it though. Okay, check this out. If its a girl, Rain.
MRS. GELLER: I have no idea. Did you know Richard has a twinkie in the city?
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Joey: Actually, you know what? I am. That whole thing with Rachel made me realize that maybe I'm ready for a more serious relationship. You know? Like I'd like to meet a nice mature commitment-minded lady. And looks aren't as important as...Nah, she's gotta be hot.
Ross: Dude, what'd you have?
Monica: Youre a really good kisser.
Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.
Eric: Oh no, stay here well keep doing this. Ill pay you.
Rachel: No you guys, I am not getting in a car with him, youll have to think of something else.
PHOEBE: No, now I feel bad. You wanna go to the concert.
Monica: You know, that guy she met at the coffeehouse.
Joey: It's a one-woman play called "Why don't you like me: a bitter woman's journey through life".
Chandler: Well, that's impossible, can you check again, please?
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Ross: Ok now, remember, when you get to the museum, Monet is not spelt M-O-N-A-Y. I just... I wrote that out phonetically for you.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no! You can't!
Phoebe: Well I'm sorry Rachel, but I'm not like you, ok? Not everyone can afford help. (she and Mike leave)
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Woman On Train: Were at my stop. But would you like to have coffee?
Ross: Uh, Rach, do you want me to shuffle those?
Ross: What'd you say?
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
Chandler: Wow! Why do you want to get rid of her so badly?
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry honey, you know, but when she said "sex" I wasn't thinking about "sex with you"!
Monica: Wow! You are really fast!
Chandler: Thank you Helen, that'll be all.
Steve: I came to talk to you about Howard.
Monica: She lets you borrow them.
Phoebe: Until then, General Grant, why dont you set up camp (She puts the bill in her bra) right there.
Ross: Fine, fine, Rachel your with Monica, Joey youre with me.
Ross: Yeah but uh Okay, okay look you guys know that Rachel and I slept together, but theres something else. (Pause) Rachels pregnant.
Rachel: Chandler, would you just tell her what she did was wrong?
Phoebe: Thank you.
Phoebe: Me taking care of you is no problem, huh? You guys feel safe. Right? Okay, Im gonna take that spit bubble as, "Yeah, I do!" Okay, after I get rid of this dirty diaper Leslie, Ill set you up with a clean one. (She throws it at the garbage without looking, misses, and knocks over a vase and flowers, which fall to the floor and break.) Okay, Im sorry. I didnt mean to scare you. I just have to clean that up. Okay? Cause lets face it, were at Monicas. (She crawls over, disposes of the diaper, picks up the flowers, and the vase.) I broke it. All right. Well, thats just the way that goes. (She throws out both the flowers and the vase.) Okay, good. (She turns around and only counts two babies.) Why are there only two of you? Where is Leslie? Well, you cant answer. (She starts looking for her) Leslie? Where are you Leslie? Leslie, now would be a good time for your first words! (She turns around and finds that Leslie has managed to crawl into the bottom drawer of the TV cabinet.) Well, look at you! Hey! You are a little bit mischievous! My gosh! (She picks her up and notices a surprise is waiting in the drawer.) Oh, youre a lot mischievous! Well, itll dry. (Closes the drawer with her foot.) (To Leslie) Okay, you sit with your brother and sister nowwho arent there! (They both have disappeared as well.)
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Rachel: Oh my God. Did you talk to him?
Ross: Noo! No, not cuddlily, not me, just her. I'm like you, I need the room. Okay, come here. (they sit on the couch and Ross puts his hands on Chandler's shoulder and thigh.) Okay, you're in bed...
Rachel: Are you gonna... you're going to take Hugsy away from a little child?
Joey: Hey, excuse me, would you mind switching with me?
Chandler: What are you supporting?
Joey: I uh, I just came by because I-I want to talk to you about something.
Rachel: Definitely! Phoebe, you will not find a single game show host, whos ass I cannot kick.
Ross: Nineteen Eighty Seven. The weekend you guys visited me at school.
Jasmine: But you should probably talk to my roommate, because I told him and he knows Phoebe too.
Casting Director #3: You mean dying man?
Ross: Oh, no. At first I have to get you to agree. Then we'll see if she wants to come back.
Chandler: You know Oh My God.
Phoebe: (singing, drunk) My sticky shoes, my sticky-sticky shoes, why do you stick on me, ba-a-by! Thanks for the lights honey.
Ross: Yeah. What do you think.
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
Rachel: Oh, Monica! Would you stop being such a wuss?
Monica: Hey, look at you! Where have you been?
Monica: I mean, youre the one theyre gonna come to when they wanna run away from home, and the one they talk to about sex.
Phoebe: Come on! You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Chandler: Oh yeah, I had no idea the amazing journey you go through as a woman! Tell me, tell me about your first period!
Rachel: To get you to make out with him!!!
Phoebe: Ok, so this is pretty much what's happened so far. Ross was in love with Rachel since, you know, forever, but every time he tried to tell her, something kind of got in the way, like cats, and Italian guys. Finally Chandler was like "forget about her" but when Ross was in China on his dig, Chandler let it slip that Ross was in love with Rachel. She was like, "Oh my god." So she went to the airport to meet him when he came back, but what she didn't know was, that Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. Uh-Oh! So, that's pretty much everything you need to know. But, enough about us. So, how've you been?
RICHARD: Look I want you, now.
Chandler: You guys haven't actually met before, but, boy! You're both polite! (pause) Go to have a seat Zack, and I'll get you a beer.
Paul: Ross, let me show you where the guest room is.
Rachel: Ohh, well I'm not totally back yet, but thank you.
Phoebe: (gasps) You wouldnt! Okay look, Rachel I know you really want to do this, but I-Ive never been maid of honor to anyone before! And I know youve done it at least twice!
Monica: Chandler, for so long I I wondered if I would ever find my prince, my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding I turned to a friend for comfort. And in stead, I found everything that Id ever been looking for my whole life. And now here we are with our future before us and I only want to spend it with you, my prince, my soul mate, my friend. Unless you dont want to. You go!
Ross: (To Rachel) You uh, you may have been right about Jill.
Rachel: Yes! Yes! Yes, you do want to know! This is unbelievable!
Monica: Thank you. Rachel, can I talk to you outside for a sec?
Monica: Yeah, I think you should keep looking!
Monica: So you gave in and decided to call someone?
Monica: Yknow, I dont have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical. (He laughs halfheartedly) Are you sure youre okay?
Chandler: Really? He does? (taking the phone) Hey, buddy, what's up! Oh, she told you about that, huh. Well, yeah, I have one now and then. Well, yeah, now. Well, it's not that big- ..well, that's true,.. Gee, y'know, no-one- no-one's ever put it like that before. Well, okay, thanks! (He hands the phone back and stubs out his cigarette.)
Monica: Oh my God! (She goes to hug him, stops short, and hits him on the shoulder.) Where the hell have you been?!!
Rachel: Im sorry, I was just thinking youre day could still pick up.
Rachel: Hi! Wow! You look, you look big.
JOEY: What are you . ..� (He sees her in her negligee.)� Why are you dressed like that?
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Phoebe: Hurry! Monicas gonna make you pack! Shes got jobs for everyone! Now, its too late for me, but save your selves! (The guys scramble for the door.)
Ross: I-I, did that for you.
Monica: Oh!! (hits Chandler and Joey in the head) You guys knew about this and you didnt tell us?!
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.