words in movies
Phoebe: Youve got to get out of here! Save yourself!
Joey: No! I wont leave you!
Joey: No youre not! Not to me!
Joey: Yeah, youre great! Okay, lets take it from
Phoebe: Oh yeah, youre solid. Yeah, youre just no me.
Phoebe: (tremendously overacting) Fine! Ill do it without you! (Joey gives her thumbs up) I dont need you or anybody else! Im gonna make it on my own! (Joey closes the door to his bedroom.) Youll see!! Youll all see!!
Chandler: (To Joey) So uh, whats this thing youre auditioning for?
Rachel: HuhWait so Joey if you get this, youre gonna be like the star of your own TV show! I mean youll be like the Big Cheese! (To Phoebe) Or the Big MacHey! You love those!
Chandler: Now-now, why would you say that Joseph?
Joey: I mean come on you guys! My own TV show? I just dont know if Im good enough.
Rachel: Joey, what are you talking about? Youre a terrific actor.
Joey: You really think so?
Rachel: Ugh, how can you even ask that question?!
Joey: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this. (Does this intense look where it looks like he's smelling a fart.)
All you want is a dingle, What you envy's a schwang, A thing through which you can tinkle, Or play with, or simply let hang...
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: So you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
Phoebe: (overacting with a song this time) (singing) Gooood luck! Gooood luck! We all wish you good luuuuuuuuck!!!
Ross: Wait a minute, are you doing that thing where you pretend it didnt go well but it really did go well?
Chandler: Oh-oh, what are you doing?
Ross: Look, dont worry. Okay? Youre gonna be fine.
Joey: Theres just so much pressure. I mean no offense, but what you guys do is very different. I dont know if youd understand.
Interviewer: So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Interviewer: You sure they haven't gone bad? You're sure they're not very, very bad?
Interviewer: You gonna slice them up real nice?
Rachel: (on the phone) Monica, Im quitting! I just helped an 81 year old woman put on a thong and she didnt even buy it! (Pause) Im telling you Im quitting! Thats it! Im talking to my boss right now! (Pause) Yes I am! (Pause) Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Yes I am! Okay bye, call me when you get this message. (Hangs up.)
Ross: You ate my sandwich?
Chandler: Oh come on guys, its not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it werent for (struggles to get this out) Monicas allergies. (The duck quacks.) Youre right, I could never lie to you. She hates you. (The phone rings.) Should I get that? (Laughs, then answers the phone.) Hello? (Listens) Uh no, Joeys not here right now. Can I take a message? (Listens) Yeah, okay so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? (Listens) Okay great. (Listens.) Bye. (Hangs up the phone and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door but Monica walks in and forces him to jump out of the way.)
Monica: (startled) Ahh! Arent you dressed yet?
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Yes!! Ha-ha!! All right! Hey! How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-sized version of this? Huh? I mean how crazy would that be?
Joey: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) What are you talking about? The auditions not til 5:00! (Chandler suddenly remembers and looks at the unfinished message then tries to sneak over and finish it as Joey listens.) Well, nobody told me! (Listens) Whod you talk to? (Listens and turns around to see Chandler trying to finish the message.) Nevermind! (Hangs up.)
Chandler: You mean you didnt get it from this?
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Joey: Hey, you dont even live here anymore! What are you doing answering my phone? I have my machine!
Chandler: Which I bought for ya. Taught ya how to use it. You thought it was a copier. Look, if there was anything I could do, I would do it. Okay? But everybodys allowed one mistake, right?
Chandler: You know he coulda gotten me a VCR, he coulda gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the woman repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace house of crap!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, easy for you to say, you don't have to walk around sporting some reject from the Mr. T collection. [Joey walks in behind Chandler]
Chandler: Yeah, I mean when you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking, and one thing to another and
Joey: And what?! Did you sleep with her?!
Chandler: Youre right, I have no excuses! I was totally over the line.
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Chandler: Look, Im not saying that you should magically forgive me! But youre not perfect! Youve made some errors in judgment too!
Chandler: What the hell happened?!! How were you locked in?!! And where the hell is all of our stuff?!!
Joey: I was tryin to make a sale!! Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, do you know what Im gonna do?
Chandler: Ok, now, remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
Lorraine: Hi, Joey. (Sees Chandler.) Well well, look what you brought.
Chandler: ...And what did you bring?
Lorraine: She's checking the coats. Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands. Will you get me a white Zinfandel, and a glass of red for Janice.
Joey: That's how they do pants! Ross, will you tell him? Isn't that how they measure pants?
Monica: Oh, stop beating yourself up! People make mistakes! These things happen! There arent any message youve forgotten to give me are there? (Chandler has a disgusted look on his face.) Apparently youre not very good at it! I
Chandler: Do you think hell ever forgive me?
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: Already? Thats pretty bad what you did.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
Chandler: You didnt see how mad he was, yknow?
Rachel: Im sure he will forgive you. Look, we have all been there! Yknow, you fight, you make up, its just the way it works.
Rachel: Yeah! You and that girl from that copy place, which yesterday you took full responsibility for!!
Rachel: (mocking him) You fell asleep?!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Rachel: And hey! Just so you know, its not that common! It doesnt happen to every guy! And it is a big deal!!
Monica: You had no right to go out with him.
Monica: You sold me out.
Rachel: I did not sell you out.
Monica: Yes you did. You absolutely sold me...
Rachel: Would you let me talk. [flicks Monica on the forehead]
Monica: Did you just flick me?
Rachel: OK, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was jus- [Monica flicks her back] Ow. That hurt [flicks Monica]
Phoebe: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Phoebe: There we go.You know what, if we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Chandler: Please tell me you got the message!
Chandler: The actor playing Mac couldnt do it, they needed to see you at 2 oclock.
Joey: Oh wow! Okay man, Im sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Chandler: Well thats good. Because you didnt! And Im incredibly happy for ya!!
Joey: (shocked) Thats mean! You really had me going there!
Joey: Yeah, youre right. Okay look, listen, lets talk about what a huge star Im gonna be!
Chandler: You are gonna be a huge star! Im gonna hug ya!
Joey: You hug me!
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Joey: Come on C.H.E.E.S.E., Im not leaving without you! Try routing your backup source through your primary CPU.
Phoebe: (overacting badly) I cant! My circuits are fried! Theyre fried I tell you!!
Joey: Wow! (Back to reading the scene.) Well then Ill just have to carry you.
Ross: Thatll be a neat trick, when youre, (looks at the script) when youre dead!
Joey: Ross, you dont have to yell.
Phoebe: I thought you were excellent! In fact for a minute there I was like, "Ooh, whered Ross go?"
Ross: Thank you! And I have to say that first scene when you meet Mac
Ross: Well, what do you do?
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Rachel: Yeah, Im not so sure you should be here when he comes up.
Ross: Oh yeah? Have you ever dated anyone who has been divorced three times?
JOEY: I don't know how to tell you this but, uh . . . I think Monica's cheatin' on ya.� I told you shouldn't have married someone so much hotter than you.
Monica: Oh, and the people are so nice. There's this one guy, Geoffrey, he's the Maitre D., Chandler, you will love him. He is without a doubt, the funniest guy I have ever met. (Chandler, who was almost asleep again, sits up straight in bed in an instant and can't believe what he just heard.)
Benjamin: Like I tried to tell you in the interview Ross, this grant is not based on your knowledge of pretty useless trivia.
Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monicas photo albums, I mean you dont do that if youre just in it for two weeks.
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Donny: Well, welcome to the Winner Circle. Joey and Gene, you guys ready?
Monica: So, if youre parents hadnt got divorced, youd be able to answer a question like a normal person?
Rachel: Thank you. (they walk away)
Charlie: Thank you.
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
Ross: Umm, would you like to dance?
Phoebe: (to Monica) Then why are you answering? Do you at least know what route were on?
Ross: Oh yeah? Youre going further down! Downtown!
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Joey: What? Why not? Rach, who can you not get?
Phoebe: Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and youll be great.
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Rachel: Ok. See you, bye.
Phoebe: That was a test and you just failed.
Ursula: Oh great! (Opens the door.) (Disappointed) Oh, you. Umm, what's up?
Chandler: That's fast math! We could use you in Tulsa.
Phoebe: What are you, what are you doing here?
Phoebe: Hey you guys! Chandler's coming and he says he has, like, this incredible news, so when he gets here, we could all act like, you know...
David: Phoebe, will you marry me?
Theodore: You remember her Michael, she's lovely and... well behaved and... single.
Mary Ellen: I'll stay if you can tell me my name.
Phoebe: I want to, but I just want you to tell me that marriage isn't really that big a deal. You know that I won't, I won't be missing out on anything. That marriage stinks!
Ross: (not paying attention) Yeah, they dont like you.
Phoebe: When she comes out, you hold her nose, Ill blow in her mouth, and the kid will just (makes a popping sound) right out of her.
Joey: Dude, I screwed up, you dont have to turn me in!
Rachel: (gasps) Oh my God! Listen to you talkin about having kids. Oh my Joey. (She goes over and hugs him.) Oh, please dont get married before I do.
Ross: Oh, thank you so much!
Joey: "Warden, in five minutes my pain will be over. But you'll have to live with the knowledge that you sent an honest man to die."
Charlie: You blew them away!
Charlie: You were incredible!
Ross: Okay! Do you wanna tell the story?!
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
Ross: Emily, there is nothing between Rachel and me. Okay? I love you.
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Charlie: (walking in) Hey! There you are!
Phoebe: Maybe you need to spice things up a little.
Rachel: (entering carrying a book) Okay! Okay! Listen to what Sean McMahon wrote in my yearbook senior year, "Dear Rach, youre such a good person." Not girl! Person!
Chandler: I'm not playing with you.
Chandler: (to Phoebe) Did you know this about him?
Rachel: I thought you only met him once?
Chandler: Well, I think, I think, Ross already has one. Now, this ones free, right? Because you paid for the first two, so the third ones free.
Monica: How much were you thinking?
Rachel: Well, uh something about having second thoughts about the wedding and did you guys make a mistake breaking up and uh, she wants you to call her.
Frank: You can have it!
Monica: All right Rachel, you sweep behind, Ill pitch it to you, you throw it down field to Phoebe. All right. Break.
Rachel: You know? Forget it!
Janice: Oh please. Every moment is precious. Yknow? Besides, somebody had to ride in that other taxi with the rest of your luggage, and your friends dont really seem to care too much that youre leaving.
Joey: (stands up) No-no-no-no, no! Who, who were you talking about?
Monica: Chandler, youre not fourteen anymore. Okay? Maybe its time that you let that stuff go. If your fathers not at your wedding youre gonna regret it for the rest of your life.
Waiter: Well, I hope, you got some room left.
Mona: So, whatd you tell him?
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
Joey: (smiling) Will you wear a thong?
Rachel: But that wasn't gonna stop you before!
Janice: No, it isn't, because you won't let that happen. Don't you know it yet? You love me, Chandler Bing.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it was great. You should be a chef.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Mike: DO YOU?
Mike: Do you?
Susan: Hey, its so nice to finally meet you!
Mike: Do you?
Doug: Of course, you did. Forgot something else too ya bastard! (smacks him on the butt) (to Chandler) Well, what about you? Youre not feeling left out or anything are ya?
Ross: Hey there you go! (Smiles because Joey used it correctly)
CHANDLER: You know, it's funny.� I've been, ah, practicing the art of seduction myself.� (He raises his hands in front of himself, sticks out his behind, and wiggles it.)� Hi ya.
Phoebe: Eh, Monica it, it feels so weird, y'know, Chandlers your friend... (hops onto the bed) Oh! Oh my God! Aw, all right take this bed, you can make other friends.
Monica: (on phone) I can't wait to be with you! I'll sneak over as soon as Ross picks up Ben. I'll just tell Rachel I'm gonna be doing laundry for a couple of hours.
Doug: (to Chandler) You! Chuckles! Whats your name?
Monica: (kneels with him) Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.
Ross: (holding her hand) Hey, you ok?
Rachel: No, it's all right, you can just drop the act Tommy. I know what's going on here. Your Danny's wingman right? You guys are best buds. Frat bros!
Emily: I miss you to. Well, at least I think I do.
Chandler: No, you didn't.
Chandler: You ok?
Rachel: What?! You mean theyre not coming to a social event where theres no men and theres no booze?! Thats shocking! I dont care, as long as my moms here.
Monica: (to Chandler) Honey, you don't have to do this.
Actress/Olivia: What do you know about love?
Phoebe: You can't do that!
Monica: But... you suck!
Ross: That depends, how much did you hear?
Rachel: Monica, your dad just beeped in, but can you make it quick? Talking to Rome. (Showing off to Phoebe and Chandler) I'm talking to Rome.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Charlie: I think you know.
Rachel: You too. Last night was just wonderful.
Monica: Can I ask you a question?
Tim: Its because Im with you.
Joey: Ooh... I can't believe I'm kissing you. I'm kissing Rachel!
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Chandler: You do realise that's your brother?
Mrs. Bing: Oh honey! This is so exciting! I thought we screwed you up so bad this day would never come. Oh and just think. Soon therell be lots of little Bings. (He freaks out and loosens the tie again.)
Monica: What do you want me to do? Just sit here silently while you three have a conversation?