words in movies
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Phoebe: Well thats no way to sell newspapers. Why dont you try, "Extra! Extra! Read all about it!"
Monica: You dont think that umm, (reading) "The chefs Mahi Mahi was awful awful," is bad press?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Ross: What are you doing up?
Ross: Its funny you should mention diapers.
Ross: Okay look, theres nothing to worry about. We have plenty of time. Theres a great baby furniture store on west 10th. Tomorrow, we will go there and we will get you everything that you need. Okay?
Rachel: Okay. Thank you. Thats great. Thank you. Wait-wait! Where on west 10th? Because theres this really cute shoe store that has like this little
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Monica: Joey! (He returns) Now that youre here
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: And people say you dont pay attention. No, this is a much better job. Its vice-president of a company that does data reconfiguration and statistical factoring for other companies.
Joey: Wow! How do you know how to do that?!
Joey: You cooked him?
Chandler: The front page? You really do live in your own little world, dont ya?
Cashier: Do you uh, want these things delivered Mr. and Mrs. Geller?
Cashier: Why dont you fill out this address card. (Hands him one.)
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Phoebe: Well did she know you two werent married?
Rachel: You dont understand! You didnt see how brazen she was.
Phoebe: Sounds like youre a little jealous.
Rachel: Oh yeah! You reallyYou look great.
Phoebe: Yknow! You dont make a very good first impression.
Phoebe: Oh you dont know.
Chandler: Are you serious?!
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Phoebe: Well its just like youre trying too hard. Always making jokes, yknow, you justYou come off a little needy.
Chandler: (To Rachel) Did you like me when we first met?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
Monica: Spoon? (Hands him one and he tastes it.) So, what do you think?
The Cooking Teacher: Monica, you go to the head of the class.
Rachel: All this stuff takes up a lot of room. Hey how uh, how serious are you about keeping Ben in your life?
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Rachel: Horny bitch. (They both look at her, pretending that the dinosaurs shes holding are arguing.) No! Youre a horny bitch! Noooo! Youre the horny bitch! No! Youre a horny bitch!
Rachel: So you guys go, have a really good time.
Rachel: So, you had a good day huh? Big commission; picked up a daddy.
Katie: Are you okay with this?
Rachel: Oh yeah! Yeah please, you guys have fun.
Katie: Okay. It was nice to see you.
Rachel: Oh and it was great to see you too. And you look fantastic, although you missed a button.
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Phoebe: Oh! Its okay, you calm down after a while and then people can see how really sweet and wonderful you really are.
Phoebe: All right, dont freak out! Okay? I-I will help you. How long before you have to leave?
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
The Cooking Teacher: Your Fettuccini Alfredo looks a little dry, did you use all your cheese?
Joey: When you say used, do you mean eat as a pre-cooking snack?
The Cooking Teacher: (To Monica) Oh! Something smells good over at Monicas station! (She tries Monicas fettuccini.) Oh my God! This is absolutely amazing! Youve never made this before?
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Phoebe: Um-hmm, thats good to know. But lets stop focusing on what you dont do, and start focusing on what you do do.
Phoebe: You gotta go!
Phoebe: Okay, dont worry. Youre ready.
Phoebe: Absolutely! Just fight all your natural instincts and youll be great.
Monica: Yknow, you called me that before so I-I took the liberty of fashioning a star out of aluminum foil. Now, no pressure, you like my cookies, you give me the star. (Hands it to her.)
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
The Cooking Teacher: Okay Joey, youre up next. (Tries one of his cookies.) This are good! This is amazing! You get an A!
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
The Cooking Teacher: If youre a professional chef, what are you doing taking Introduction to Cooking?
Monica: You do?
The Cooking Teacher: Oh yes! Youre an excellent chef! As a person youre a little
The Cooking Teacher: Well actually, did either of you pay for this class?
The Interviewer: You mustve had your hands full.
The Interviewer: Now youll be heading a whole division, so youll have a lot of duties.
The Interviewer: But therell be perhaps 30 people under you so you can dump a certain amount on them.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
The Interviewer: Absolutely. (They walk to the door.) You can relax; you did great.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Rachel: Hi! Youre back from your date!
Ross: How are you?
Ross: Whats uh, whats going on? Do you not, do you not like Katie?
Rachel: Of course you did Ross, you would date a gorilla if it called you Indiana Jones!
Ross: Did you get like a fresh batch of pregnancy hormones today?!
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Ross: (laughs) Why? What, what are you jealous?
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Ross: True, but youre allowed to be unreasonable. Youre having our baby.
Rachel: (starting to cry) Oh Ross, thank you. Thank you. (They hug.)
Ross: Do you feel better?
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Ross: (pause) Okay. Okay. Because for a minute you said you
Ross: that you actually
Cassie: Well, maybe after we get reacquainted uh, you can do me.
Monica: Ohhh, I knew you loved her! Then you need to go to the airport and tell her. Youre probably just gonna catch her just as shes about to go to the gate. Youre gonna call out her name and say, "I love you!" And shes gonna say, "I love you, too!" And you guys are going to have the most amazing kiss, everyone at the gate will applaud.
Wayne: Joey, Joey, I-I-Ill g-get you your job back if you help me out.
Rachel: Hah! I found it! I told you I would find it! In your face! You're a different person.
Phoebe: You dont have to be back for a half-hour!
Rachel: Phoebe, just the idea of pitting one baby against another, I mean, you know, and judging who's cuter just for a trophy...
Joey: All that stuff you just said? I want that!
Monica: Thank you.
Mr. Geller: Oh, yeah you loved that glove! You took it every place you went. You never went any place without that glove.
Monica: Well you look incredible too! Youre justyoure so fit!
Monica: Ohh, you are such a good boss! Is she pretty?
Joey: May I have a word with you, please?
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
Phoebe: You got me.
Monica: Aww, thank you. (Notices something.) Uh Rach?
Phoebe: Right, like the kind you...
Chandler: You still havent told Rachel you werent really proposing?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, sure. I just hope you, hope you dont accidentally suck it up through your nose and choke on it.
Eric: Yknow you dont have to stand here with me, believe me
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Ursula: You have not changed!
Rachel: Well, so, now, do you guys have a lot of big plans?
Phoebe: Yeah, you too.
Mona: You dont think this is too fast.
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Phoebe: No...I really wanted to know how you feel about it.
Gunther: I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
Phoebe: Probably? Yeah, I don't like that word. (Chandler and Monica look surprised) Kind of what probably really means. Yeah, uh-huh. Yeah, oh, "Your mom probably won't kill herself," yknow? I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging all my hopes of Rachel and I living together on-on "Probably!" Yknow? You gotta take care of yourselves! (She starts to walk out) In this world history teaches us nothing! (Exits)
Chandler: Yeah, and not that you would, but I wouldnt hang out with all the guys in my office.
Chandler: You know, you think I would.
Rachel: I don't know! I mean, we still care about each other. There's a history there. 'S'like you and Carol.
RACHEL: Oh, you know what, we haven't even looked yet.
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
Emily: Ross, are you there? Ross, I dont know if you can hear this but (Ross has moved to the window, apparently so that he can hear better.) Im gonna talk anyway, uh, Im in the States with you sister and your friends and its all over with Colin. I came here to tell you that, and to tell youYes, Joey you can have all the chocolate you want, just take it! Uh, I came here to tell you that I love you.
Rachel and Monica: Oh, thank you.
CHANDLER: Hey, just because this woman thinks she can actually see Joey through the magical box in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. I mean, does she not deserve happiness, does she not deserve love? What're you lookin' at me for? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac.
Mr. Geller: Monica, all this food looks wonderful, you should think about doing this for a living.
Dr. Green: Well why not? So you can spend your time with this tramp?!
Kim: Listen to me. If you think sleeping with Ralph is going to get you my job. You are sadly mistaken.
Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready! How can I be ready? "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?" Come on, I can't do this!
Joey: You don't drink.
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Joey: Oh, it's okay. You don't have to be so mean about it.
Monica: Okay, youre-youre really freaking me out.
The Director: Kate Millers awkward and mannered portrayal is laughable. (Kate walks away depressed.) Badda-badda-badda. Ah-ha! Here it is! The direction by Marshal Talmant is (stops, reads it again, and throws down the paper in disgust) Thank you, boys and girls, youve ruined my life. Please, stuff your talentless faces with my Mothers crab cakes! (starts to leave) Excuse me!!
MINISTER: You know, nothing makes God happier than when two people, any two people, come together in love. Friends, family, we're gathered here today to join Carol and Susan in holy matrimony.
Jack: You lost 13 million dollars.
Phoebe: So you guys, I'm doing all new material tonight. I have twelve new songs about my mother's suicide, and one about a snowman.
Monica: Oh, Ive got it! I have got it! (Gets up and gets something from the dresser underneath the TV.) Pictures from your childhood. This will get you going good!
Rachel: I dont. But I would still like to be acknowledged. What? Just because Im pregnant you think Im invisible.
Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
MRS. GELLER: Oh, Jack look, there's that house paint commercial that cracks you up. [the Gellers return to watching TV and Ross goes over to Monica]
Ross: Well, you know what... I-I'm sorry I'm the only one who isn't in love with Gary Poppins out there... But I just... I can't... I can't go through with this.
CHANDLER: Hey, do you want this done quick, or do you want this done right?
Monica: Un, no you didn't! You must be mistaken!
Chandler: Could you want her more?
Sandy: I er... I hope you don't mind. I used some of my home-made lotion on Emma. It's a mixture of calendula and honey cream. It'll dry that rash right up. Plus... It keeps the hands young... (it makes Rachel smile)
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
Joey: Thank you.
Rachel: Hi! How are you?
Joey: Hey! Youre back! (Hugs and kisses all around.)
RACHEL: Oh give me , , ,� (Phoebe gives Rachel the phone.)� Hi, Mike?� Hi.� Listen.� I know this is a lot to ask, but you know what?� If you do this I . . . Phoebe will . . . do anything you want.� Seriously, I'm talking dirty stuff.
Phoebe: No! Joey, youre going to be great!
Rachel: Oh, good for you!
Chandler: So you understand, Id feel a lot more comfortable if you didnt tell people what happened. Yknow, Im a little Im a little embarrassed about it.
Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?
Phoebe: Youre thinking about this way too much. Just tell him and get it over with. Its like, its like ripping off this Band-Aid. (On her arm) Quick and painless, watch. (Rips it off.) Oh mother of See?
Ross: Oh, you could just go uh, "greatest of ease (plays air guitar) BAH-bah-bha-bhannn." Then go right into it.
Katie: You were so funny with that waiter! You're such a nut! (She slaps her thighs, Joey jerks, and spills some of his coffee.)
Joey: Yeah well, maybe you should go back! Okay? Rachel moves in, and before you know it youre right where you dont want to be! Back together!
CHANDLER: Listen can you guys uh, speak up, it's harder for us to hear you when you lower your voice.
Ross: Oh man, I can't believe you guys are leaving this place.
(We see Ross through the window and he acts like a swimmer that gets attacked by a shark, picture one of the many, many, many Jaws movies they made and you get the idea.)
Monica: All right, so what do you say?
Mona: How could you have kept all of this from me?
CHANDLER: What, you never look down in the shower? Oh please. I'm not allowed to make one joke in the monkey-is-penis genre?
Rachel: (looks around for the camera) Okay. Umm, well, first I would like to start by apologizing for kissing you and uh, for yelling at you.
Joey: Oh... you got yourself a very weird deal!
Rachel: Okay. Honey, I would love for you to go with me. (Ross has a worried look on his face) What?
Ross: You still on that?
Chandler: And they don't like it when you explain why your jokes are funny.
Phoebe: Make sure you check Chandler's jewelry box.
PHOEBE: OK. [singing] Smelly cat, smell-ly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat [back up singers - smelly, smelly, smelly, really bad smelly cat, it's not your fault] OK, sorry. I'm just, I'm just not getting that everyone um, gets how smelly this cat acually is. I just think that maybe if we could talk about this, 'cause I need to feel that you really care about the cat.
Monica: (yelling after them) I cant believe youre gonna have sex on my engagement night!!
Parker: I wont quit until you try.
Ross: You are way off, pal.
Joey: No, I don't think so, see Ross, because I think you love her.
Monica: What do you do with your money now?
JOEY'S CO-STAR: Thanks. You want it?
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Chandler: Cheese you say? Thats some pretty smelly work, huh Don?
PHOEBE: I know it's kind of weird, but I mean, she was a big part of my life there, you know, and now I just feel kind of alone.
Phoebe: Well, you said that you had customers lined up in the street, so I am here to entertain!
Monica: Okay, so what do you, what do you want to do? Lets do something crazy!
Rachel: So, did you shave your legs?
Lauren: Ive been waiting up all night for ya. Where have you been? (Joey doesnt answer) Where have you been? Vic?!
Monica: Thats a good idea! Wait, do you know how to waiter?
Phoebe: You mean the time you broke the ketchup bottle and cleaned it up with Monicas guest towels?
Richard: Yeah, I understand. Take as much time as you want. (Pause) Ten, even twenty minutes if you need it. Ill be here. Not smoking. (Monica leaves.)
Monica: What do you mean?