words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Paul: (To Rachel) How are you?
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
Ross: Great to see you!
Paul: Good to see you too!
Ross: How you doing?
Ross: Okay! You take care!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, youre a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Rachel: Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now?
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Paul: Are you talking about having sex?
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Rachel: Well, youre lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm The rest of you life, yknow? Any regrets?
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that yknow, you shared your feelings. Its really, its beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Male Jeweler: Can I help you?
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Male Jeweler: (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?!
Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Gunther: (handing them the bill) Here you go.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Rachel: No you dont!
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.
Paul: Would you .Would you hug me?
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Chandler: Do you have my credit card?
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Chandler: They put you in jail?
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Joey: Can I tell you something? Me too.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Chandler: I cant believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring!
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Customer: Do you know who at my office?
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Customer: It is beautiful, but Im gonna use this one. Now, if youll excuse me.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Customer: Youre dying?!
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Ross: So you two are really serious?!
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
Ross: You told her before you told us?
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
MONICA: OK, wait, wait, wait, wait. You know what? Ross, let's - let's switch places. You get in the middle. No un-, ya know, unless this looks like we're trying to cover something up.
Rachel: He left work in the middle of the day to do a personal errand and left you in charge when youve been working here two days? Thats not, thats not right.
Rachel: Really? You think so?
Eric: No wait! Theres only a problem when I look at you. (Sits down on the couch.) Oh I got it! I got it. (Puts his hands to his eyes.)
Joey: I gotta do what I gotta do, you gotta do what you gotta do, you just do it.
Phoebe: Joey! (Examining the dress.) Wow, you didnt rip off any buttons.
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
Monica: (To Chandler) How does that laugh not give you a headache?
Monica: You wanna finish this right now? All right, we get a deck of cards, high card wins. What do you say?
Receptionist: Ok well, I'll call you as soon as your massage therapist is ready.
Joey: Okay, firstfirst of all, you want to make it look spontaneous. I look down (Looks down), look down, keep looking down; then I look up. (Looks up and smiles.) See? All right, now you try. Look down (Chandler looks down), youre looking down, keep looking down
Phoebe: Ah! Well! There you go! Last to know again! And I'm guessing... since nobody told me... this is Paolo.
Rachel: Oh Gunther! You brought candy! Thank you so much for picking this up! You are so sweet.
Phoebe: And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go because you don't wanna start the new year with me if you can't finish it. (They kiss) I'm gonna miss you. You scientist guy.
Monica: I love you. (Phoebe leans in to kiss her.) Oh, wait, wait, wait! No hugs. The dresses... Oh what the hell. (the girls hug)
Rachel: Oh thank you so much. (Picks up the guy's spirit level) Oh oh wait! You forgot your erm...Your game. (hands it to him)
Joey: You cant make crotchless panties? You take, you take a pair of scissors and you just cut
Rachel: Ohh. Oh, so you really wanted to learn. Yeah, y'know, Pheebs I just wanted to have fun. Ohh, you know who you should go with?
Monica: (To Chandler) You okay?
Phoebe: A stripper at a bachelor party, that is so clich�. Why don't you get a magician?!
Joey: What award are you practicing for?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Yeah. I was just in there. He introduced himself and the next thing I know, were making out. You know.
Policeman: Youre right. It was 37. (Rachel laughs.)
Ross: (sarcastic) And you made it through that? I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie!
Phoebe: Great! Yeah, could you bring me the newspaper?
Monica: Rachel umm, I was just talking to this guy and I think hell have sex with you.
Pete: Yeah. Monica, I want you there in the front row when I win. I want you close enough to smell the blood. What do you think?
Gunther: Jij hebt seks met ezels. (Translation: You have sex with donkeys.)
Ross: Oh, where are you guys going?
Chandler: Do I still call you Ross?
Monica: I'm sorry. But not that sorry, 'cause you don't have to live with it. Um, we have a reservation under the name Chandler Bing.
Joey: Oh wait, before you tell me what it is! (He plays a drum-roll) Okay, what is it?
Ross: Why dont you come, I mean, I-I have two tickets, why not?
Ross: Because you sent away the dog!
Rachel: Youre gonna be late! Go! Go! (He runs out.)
Richard: Nice to meet you Joey.
Joey: I think you did.
Joey: Man, Im starving! What the hell was I thinking at dinner?! "Do you want soup or salad?" Both! Always order both!
Chandler: mmm That's enough about you!
Chandler: Okay, but don't you think this is a little extreme?
Chandler: Id like to toast, Ross and Emily. Of course, my big toast will be tomorrow at the wedding, so this is kind of my little toast or Melba toast, if you will. (No one in the room laughs. He starts to get flustered.) Okay. I known Ross for a long time. In fact, I knew him when he was going out with his first girlfriend. (Ross looks embarrassed.) And I thought things were going to work out for him..Until the day he over inflated her. (He laughs. Jack looks at Judy and no one in the room laughs.) Ohh, Dear God.. (A cellular phone rings.)
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.
Joey: Hey! (To Chandler) Dude, some guy just called for you.
Monica: Ok, then, why are you... (she opens her robe revealing a nice black dress) all dressed up??
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Joey: Yep. Hey, what do you say we make it a double feature?
Melissa: (excitedly) Are you?!
Rachel: Noo! Oh no! No! God no! He should not get back together with her. I know that! You know that! Even Ross knows that! But that still doesnt give us the right to erase his message!
Monica: It-its so great to see you both here.
Mr. Geller: of course you can kick his ass son.
Rachel: She could be you.
ROSS: No, you let me fini...
Joey: Two thousand dollars!? What do you think I am? I soap opera star!?
Rachel: You just dont look old enough to have a twenty-year-old daughter.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Joey: Oh sureAnd hey, dont get me wrong, I am so happy for you guys. I just I miss hanging out just-just us, yknow?
Joey: Hey! Where have you been?
Janice: Oh, I wish. Look, honey, you have that report to finish, and I gotta go see my lawyer.
Joey: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. (Sarah reaches over and takes a few fries)
Rachel: But wait you said everything was gonna be okay.
Frank Sr.: Thank you. All right.
Ross: Ugh. Well, were just gonna have to jump. (Joey looks at him.) Yeah. Now, were gonna have to make sure to land to the right of that patch of ice, okay? Not hit the dumpster on the other side and uh, and try to avoid that-that weird brownish red stuff in the middle. So, when you get down there you go up to the roof and you let me in.
Rachel: Ohh wow! Im sorry, but Ross you kicked off your shoes!
MONICA: Oh, absolutely. Yeah, you know I'm not even thinking about that thing that we're not supposed to think about.
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
Phoebe: You know if you want, we can sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
Joey: (climbing down from his chair) Do you uh, do youready for a refill?
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
Joey: Oh you should, its great.
Monica: (gets up and gasps) Oh my God! Rachel!! (Rachel is stunned to see that her long lost friend is still fat.) (Monica goes over and gives Rachel a big bear hug, which is quite easy for her.) You look terrific!
Ross: (sitting down) Hey, what are you guys, what are you guys talking about?
The Assistant Director: You are now.
Phoebe: Thank you. (She pats him on his head.)
Joey: Shhh! (Pause) Man, you made me lose it! (He goes into the map again.)
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Monica: I don't know. I mean, you saw him do a love scene, so maybe you don't have a thing for Joey, maybe you have a thing for Drake.
Joey: Thats not a bad idea. Yeah. Okay, but if I got to turn on the charm tomorrow Im not wasting anymore of it over here with you guys. (Starts to leave, but stops and turns to Phoebe.) Well, actually I got a little bit saved for you Pheebs. (Exits.)
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
Rachel: You WHAT? You sang... to our baby daughter... a song about a guy who likes to have sex with women with giant asses?
PHOEBE: So, do you have any other possibilities?
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Rachel: (pause) You have a son!
Ross: So, can you trust me?
Monica: (jumping up) Rachel! You okay?
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Joey: You know what it is? It's a nice place but I gotta see I don't know if I see myself living here. Oh, oh, oh, let me see... (Joey sits down on the couch, mimes opening a can and puts his hand down his pants) Yeah, I could see it.
Joey: Are you drunk?
RACHEL: Well, so what're you gonna do?
Rachel: Yes you do, if you're going to make me feel guilty for getting a free massage!
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Ross: No! Oh, no-no-no. Hey, you weren't bad, you've been very good, Ben.
Rachel: Honey um, honey, you do realise that we dont keep the womens lingerie here in the office?
Monica: Ross is really strong! Okay, hes the strongest out of all three of you! (Joey looks at her.) Except for Joey.
Chandler: I know, I went to the tanning place and the same thing happened to me. You have to let me in.
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Joey: Thank you. Thank you.
Rachel: You look so beautiful.