words in movies
Chandler: Pheebs, can you help me pick out an engagement ring for Monica? I cant figure this out! Its so hard! Should I get her a (turning to each page) Tiffany cut or a Princess cut or aah-ah! Paper cut!
Phoebe: Now, have you told anyone else?
Phoebe: You told me.
Chandler: Well, its because I trust you, youre one of my best friends, and you walked in on me when I was looking at ring brochures.
Phoebe: Yeah well, once again not knocking pays off. I only wish you hadnt been on the toilet.
Ross: Oh perfect, we were just gonna see if you wanted to go.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. You wanna bite? (Holds his piece out for him.)
Phoebe: Thats easy! You just have to think of him as a-as a jar of pickles that wont open.
Rachel: So what are you saying; I should run him under hot water and bang his head against a table?
Phoebe: No thats what you do when you want to get the truth out of someone.
Paul: (To Rachel) How are you?
Phoebe: So how are things going with you?
Ross: Great to see you!
Paul: Good to see you too!
Ross: How you doing?
Ross: Okay! You take care!
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what-what was the deal with you and Chandler blowing us off before?
Ross: Phoebe, whyd you do it?
Phoebe: I didnt do it! It was Chandler! Hes Hes mad at you!
Phoebe: Please, I think you know why.
Phoebe: Come on Ross, youre a paleontologist, dig a little deeper.
Phoebe: Do you think thats something that hed be mad at you for?
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
Rachel: Okay. Hey, what are you thinking? What are you thinking right now?
Paul: Im thinking that you are looking really fine it that dress.
Paul: Are you talking about having sex?
Rachel: No Paul, I dont know anything about you! Yknow, like-like your childhood! Tell me about your childhood!
Rachel: Okay, well then how about puberty! Come on, thats always a painful time! Yknow your friends invite you to a slumber party and then they stick your hand in warm water while youre sleeping so that you pee in your sleeping bag.
Rachel: Well, youre lucky you never met that bitch Sharon Majesky. Anyway, umm The rest of you life, yknow? Any regrets?
Paul: I wanted a big wheel. And instead my parents got me this little plastic chicken that you hop around on. It was embarrassing; kids made fun of me. That was a pretty tough year.
Rachel: Thats-thats great! See? I already feel like I know you a little better! Thank you. Okay, come on. Now we can go eat. Lets go. (Gets up to leave, but Paul doesnt move.)
Paul: And in fifth grade I got into a fight. Well, it wasnt really a fight. Richard Darinvel bit me on the nose and, and I feel down. I still have a little scare right here (points to it) you can see it.
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah, I-I-I see the scare. Listen, Paul, I think this is really great that-that yknow, you shared your feelings. Its really, its beautiful, but umm, what do you say we go share some food?
Rachel: What?! Wait! What are you talking about?! You love their Kung Pao Chicken!
Phoebe: Okay, so maybe you dont get her a ring. Maybe you-maybe you do something different. Yknow? Maybe you get her an engagement bracelet, yknow? Or an engagement tiara? Orooh! An engagement Revolutionary War musket! (Picks one up from the display in the corner.
Chandler: Yknow, Im so glad I picked you to help me with this.
Phoebe: Huh? Can you just imagine getting down on one knee and handing her this gorgeous piece of weaponry?
Phoebe: (coming over after returning the musket) Wait a minute, no, this is, this is the reason you brought me. Okay? I know how to haggle. So let me handle this from here on out.
Male Jeweler: Can I help you?
Chandler: Sir, can I ask you to umm, could you hold out that ring and ask me to marry you?
Male Jeweler: Okay. (Holds out the ring, deadpan.) Will you marry me?
Phoebe: We will give you $10.
Male Jeweler: (angrily) Are you interested in this ring?!
Male Jeweler: (ignoring her) How would you like to pay?
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Phoebe: Okay. (To the jeweler) Listen, Im sorry about before. Do you have anything her for $10.
Phoebe: Ill give you $1 for them.
Gunther: (handing them the bill) Here you go.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-ho-ho, I got this one. Here you go. (Hands Gunther Chandlers card.) Yknow I gotta tell ya, sometimes I justI dont get Chandler. Yknow, me and him do stuff all the time without you and you dont get all upset.
Rachel: Oh thats right. Youre the talker. (They both reflect on that briefly) Anyway uh, great idea! Umm, I gotta go to the store; I told him that I would buy him some more tissues.
Rachel: No you dont!
Phoebe: Okay umm, Id also like to try on the tiara. (The male jeweler hands it to her.) Oh yeah. Okay. (Puts it on.) (To the jeweler) What do you think, too much?
Paul: (acting manly to try and cover up his crying) Okay. Chandler, did your dad ever hug you?
Chandler: No, did he hug you?!
Chandler: Well, you can see my dad in Vegas kissing other dads.
Paul: Would you .Would you hug me?
Chandler: Okay, a quick one. Come on hug it out. (Paul rushes over and hugs Chandler tightly.) Oh hey! There you go. (The hug continues.) Okay. (The hug continues.)
Chandler: Do you have my credit card?
Joey: Come on! Itll be fun! Me, you, and Ross, and Paul probably
Phoebe: Oh my God Chandler, the one you picked is gone. Its over!
Chandler: They put you in jail?
Chandler: Phoebe, I asked you to guard the ring!
Ross: I cant believe it. (Pause) Can I tell you something? Im a little mad at him now.
Joey: Can I tell you something? Me too.
Rachel: I dont care about the little dude! I cant! I cannot listen to anymore of this! Yknow, the only person who would want to listen to this is a mental health professional! And then its only because they get paid $100 an hour! Do you know how much money I couldve made listening to you? $2,000! And do you know when I figured that out? While you were talking!
Paul: What?! I cant believe youre trying to stifle me! When just 14 hours ago we figured out that that is exactly what my mother was trying to do to me!
Rachel: Oh Im sorry. I I-I dont meanI didnt mean to stifle you. I This is all just a little overwhelming.
Paul: Oh Rachel, Im so sorry. I didnt mean to overwhelm you. Its just that, when those gates open, you (Starts to breakdown.) Hard to close em. But they are closed now. Believe me.
Rachel: Im so glad, Im so glad you shared. (Feeling his shoulder.) And Im glad that youre done. What do you say we umm (Nods in the direction of the bedroom.)
Chandler: I cant believe I let you talk me into buying this stupid gumball machine looking ring!
Phoebe: Well you certainly cant give her that stupid gumball ring.
Phoebe: Wow! Youre good! After this, we should solve crimes.
Phoebe: Oh, okay. (Walks over to him.) Excuse me sir? Could you come with me please? You have a phone call.
Customer: Do you know who at my office?
Chandler: (to him) Hi! Hi. Okay, there was a slight mix-up at the jewelry store, the ring youre about to propose with was supposed to be held for me. So, Im gonna need to have that back. (The guy isnt sure.) But, in exchange Im willing to trade you this beautiful, more expensive ring. (Looking at the ring.) Ew.
Customer: It is beautiful, but Im gonna use this one. Now, if youll excuse me.
Chandler: No-no! This is my fiancee (Phoebe) and her heart was set on that ring. You dont want to break her heart now do you?
Phoebe: Yeah, do you want to break a dying womans heart?
Customer: Youre dying?!
Chandler: Thank you. Thank you. Thank you! (To his girlfriend) And you are about to marry a wonderful man! (She stunned and hes horrified.) Hey! Im marrying a dead woman!
Ross: So you two are really serious?!
Chandler: Okay! (They hug.) I was gonna wait til uh, it was official yknow? But I got so excited I just had to tell you guys because youre my best friends.
Rachel: (who has just entered) Ugh! No more crying! Please! I just dumped one cry baby, Ill dump you too!
Rachel: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh Chandler!! (Hugs him.) You guys are gonna be so happy!
Ross: You told her before you told us?
Chandler: Well, she walked in when I was looking at the ring brochures. You can understand that, right? (Ross and Joey look at each other and go back to watching the game on TV.) Guys? Guys? (Walks in front of them again.)
Rachel: Thank you.
Nurse: Hey! Are you ready to try nursing again?
Ross: Did you see the look that girl just gave me? Huh? She mustve seen me cruising in the bad boy.
Rachel: Hi, I thought you might like some ice chips.
ROSS: I don't, I don't understand. I mean, you, it's like we can't win with you guys.
Ross: Well let therewhat if a man comes along and puts a gun to your head and says, "You ride this bike or Ill sh Ill shoot you."
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Joey: Okay umm, I just came by to tell you that I want to have dinner with you tonight. Thats all.
Rachel: Because you are my sister and Ross and I have this huge history
Ross: now remember you have to imagine me in a kilt.
Monica: Aww! I love you!
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
David: Please, you don't have to explain. I mean, perhaps if I hadn't gone to Minsk things would have worked out for us. And I wouldn't have ruined my career, or lost that toe to frostbite. It was a good trip! (he leaves)
Rachel: You remember Ross.
Ross: That's right, Ben. I'm Santa's representative for all the southern states. And Mexico! But, Santa sent me here to give you these presents, Ben. (He tries to bend down to pick up the bag with the presents, but can't because of the costume) Maybe the Lady will help me with these presents.
Ross: Nice to see you again Dr. Green.
Rachel: What? You wanna see me self-defend myself?! Go over there (points) and pretend youre a sexual predator! Go on! I dare ya!!
PHOEBE: OK, um, I'm gonna play, um, some songs about grandparents, OK. [singing] Now, grandma's a person who everyone likes, she bought you a train and a bright, shiny bike. But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner, And last time you saw her she looked so much thinner. Now, your mom and your dad said she moved to Peru, but the truth is she died and some day you will too. La-la-la la la-la-la la la-la-la la...
Joey: Here's a little tip, she really likes it when you rub her neck in the same spot over and over and over again until it starts to get a little red.
Chandler: If I untangle you, will you please get rid of the corn rose?
Joey: Im doing my scenes with you?
Kim: Hi Rachel. Ohh, Ive been meaning to ask you. Have you seen the new Ralph Lauren sheets? Ohh, what am I thinking. Of course you have.
Ross: (looking at the page) 717? (to Carol) Wheres 717? (He gets up to return the page, Carol starts to take the last of the food into the kitchen, but Ross grabs the last piece.) Hey, youve have more of these for Susan right?
MONICA: You, and you, you're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther! What are you doing here?
Chandler: But youre still my friend?
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Phoebe: That shes gonna move in with you and maybe then shell fall in love with you and then when she finds out youre already married, shell just be happy. Yknow? Youre just, youre very sad.
Chandler: Well, you can't say we don't know how to throw a party.
Rachel: Oh wow. Are you in trouble.
Ross: Hey Pheebs, what are you doing?
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Emily: I still cant believe theyre tearing it down. It really is the most lovely building youll ever see. I mean its over (She stops suddenly, when she sees that demolition has already started.) Oh my God!
Phoebe: No look, I-Im sure that people know you exist!
Monica: Okay, okay, I'm sure that Rachel came home early and picked up Emma. You go look across the hall, and I'll call her cell.
Isabella: Yeah, for you. Is that the list?
MONICA: (taps chandler on the arm) You can go.
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
Monica: (hugging Chandler) I dont think youll ever get my parents that drunk!
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Monica: If you would stop thinking about Ross for one minute you would notice that there are great guys everywhere! I mean, look! Look, Gunther! (Gunther turns to listen in.) I mean, he's nice, he's cute.
Ross: Well, I don't know, it's-it's kinda in a place that's not... It's not visually accessible to me, and I was hoping maybe you guys could-could help me out. (starts to take off his pants)
Ross: Not for tonight. Not for tonight! Wh-what, what, what, are you doing?
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Janice: I just came up to say, "Hi!" Hi! (to Chandler) And you, sweetie, Ill see you tonight.
Chandler: Little toast here. I know this isn't exactly the kind of Thanksgiving that all of you all planned, but for me, this has been really great, you know, I think because it didn't involve divorce or projectile vomiting. Anyway, I was just thinking, I mean, if you'd gone to Vail, and if you guys'd been with your family, if you didn't have syphilis and stuff, we wouldn't be all together, you know? So I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm very thankful that all of your Thanksgivings sucked.
Monica: I know, he's just so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?
Monica: I dont know! Time to kiss a guy maybe?! (Ross laughs.) What are you laughing at Pampers? (He stops laughing and glares at her.)
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Chandler: Yes, but you ended up having sex with both of them that afternoon.
Chandler: Oh thats great! Great! Thanks! But that dress I mean its like yuck! Its terrible! It makes me wanna just rip it right off of you!
Chandler: Thanks. You wanna see what it looks like?
FRANK: This is huge, you can buy me beer.
Chandler: So, are you really gonna go out with that nurse man?
Ross: No, no, no, I'm sure you have a great excuse, wh-was it a hair appointment, a mani-pedi or was there a sale at Barney's?
RACHEL: I know, but it's just it's the first time, and I just don't want her to think that because I didn't marry Barry, that my life is total crap, you know?
Chandler: (on the phone) "Look, this is ridiculous! I'm not paying for that room! Ok?" (pause) "Oh, thank you very much!" (hangs up) Yeah, I'm going to Vermont...
RICHARD: Oh, that's why you never see pigeons at sushi bars.(they both start laughing at Richard's poor joke) See, we're having fun.
Joey: Sure, if you cared enough to call it first.
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
C.H.E.E.S.E: You can say that again Mac.
Ross: Now, I know you wanted to bond with my dad, but did you really have to bond to that part?
Susan: What'd you do, dip it in sugar?
Joey: What do you mean?
MONICA: You can't be a lawyer. You're eight.
Chandler: Uhh, youve had a lot of sex right?
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh no-no, no-no, they dont want you to put your hands in the pockets until you are out of the store.
Rachel: I just want you to know.. Last night.. I'll never forget it.
Chandler: You know, I don't mean to brag, but I waited tables at Innsbruck in '76. (dead silence) Amouz-bouche? (holds out tray)
Ross: She brought them up! (pause) I didn't realize you were coming back so soon!
Joey: You kissed my girlfriend!
Chandler: All right look, I think its time for you to settle down. Y'know? Make a choice, pick a lane.
Machine: You have three new messages.
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Joey: Ok whoah-hey... Let me just stop you right there, ok? First, you lied, right? Then, you lied about lying, ok? Then you lied about lying about lying, ok? So before you lie about lying about lying about lying about... lying... (loses count and begins to count the number of 'lyings' in the air but gives up.) (yelling) Stop lying!
Richard: You want me to cancel it?
Rachel: I know. Days of Our Lives, thank you very much.
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, its-its so, its so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Yknow, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Dont you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, dont you think?
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
EDDIE: Ah-ah-ah, you know what that is?
Rachel: yeah your both so slutty you don't even remember who you've slept with, you're made for each other.
Rachel: What? You just click when they click.
Chandler: Yeah, well, youre wrong! Okay, youre wrong.
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Rachel: That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life.
Paul: Okay look, Ross, just so you know that since Lizzie likes you so much, Ive decided to accept the fact that youre going out with her.
Monica: You okay?
Chandler: Can you see my nipples through this shirt?
Janice: How did you know?
Rachel: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
MONICA: That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
Monica: I know... it's just... I thought this was, you know... it.
Monica: ...Oh! I-I see you moved the green ottoman.
PHOEBE: Didn't you like, just get your eyes checked?
Rachel: Im fourth! (Joey is startled.) Look at you with your little maple syrup award!
Phoebe: Dont you see? Everyones looking at me! The plans working! I didnt even have to take off my top yet!
STEPHANIE: (singing) Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you?
Joey: You said number two.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.