words in movies
Ross: Come on, I think this is a good thing. I dont think Mom wouldve hired you if she didnt think you were good at what you do.
Monica: You dont have to stick up for her. She cant here you.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Umm, do you guys have any juice?
Rachel: (laughs) You ah, you didnt say Yes to that did you?
Rachel: I dont understand! Last time you went out with her you said she was a big, dull dud.
Rachel: Well, last time I almost got fired. You must end it, you must end it now!
Rachel: Chandler!! (He turns around quickly) Promise me, you will end it.
Rachel: Thank you.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Monica: Let me ask you a question.
Monica: Why did you hire me?
Mrs. Geller: Oh, well Richard raved about the food at his party, of course you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was very nice, I assume you werent sleeping with anybody there. Though, at least that would be something. (Leaves)
Monica: (to Phoebe) Oh my God! Did you hear that? She hired me because she thinks Im good.
Phoebe: Wow! And hey, its cool if youre a lesbian! (Gives her a thumbs up)
The Salesman: (Entering before Joey can say anything) Good afternoon, are you the decision maker of the house?
The Salesman: Do you ah, currently own a set of encyclopedias?
The Salesman: Actually, Im not buying. Im selling. Let me ask you one question. Do your friends ever have a conversation and you just nod along even though youre not really sure what theyre talking about?
Ross: Im telling you its totally unconstituional.
The Salesman: (Interrupting the flashback) Excuse me, Im sorry, you havent said anything for about two and a half minutes, are you at all interested?
Phoebe: Oh, no, I meant that its weird that you only have nine now.
Phoebe: Okay, dont panic. Im gonna go to the store, Im gonna get you another set of nails, no ones gonna know, and youre gonna look great. (She runs over to get her coat.) Oh! Oh, its cause theyre gonna eatthats the problem.
Monica: Then why are you laughing?
Monica: What? You bet Id lose a nail?
Monica: You bet that Id screw up?! So all that stuff about hiring me because I was good was
Mrs. Geller: No-no-no, that was all true. This was just in case you pulled a Monica.
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinburg, youd never use that phrase.
Mrs. Geller: Oh honey, come on, have a sense of humour, youve never been able to laugh at yourself.
Monica: (interrupting) No! You have lasagnas! (Storms out and an awkward silence follows.)
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Joanna: What are you doing?
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Chandler: Ah-ha, youre not the boss of me. (She kisses him) Yeah, you are! (She handcuffs him to the chair) Ooh, saucy.
Chandler: You are, youre gonna leave me like this?
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Chandler: Okay. But if you dont come back soon, (She leaves and closes the door) theres pretty much nothing I can do about it!
Sophie: Hi! I brought you back a macaroon!
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Chandler: Hi! (to Sophie) How are you?
Chandler: Look, this isnt funny! You get back here right now!
Chandler: (in a serious, businesslike tone) Rachel, could I see you for a moment?
Chandler: Okay, heres the situation. The keys to the cuffs are on the back of the door. Could you be a doll and grab them and scoot on over and unlock me? And on a totally different subject, that is a lovely pantsuit.
Rachel: You promised you would break up with her!
Rachel: And the fact that you were jeopardising my career never entered your mind?!
Rachel: Y'know what Chandler, you got yourself into those cuffs, you get yourself out of them.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Rachel: You never come into this office again!
Rachel: You give me back my Walkman!
Rachel: Well, then I lost it. You buy me one!
Chandler: You got it! Here we go! Come on! This is great! (Rachel goes over and unlocks the handcuffs) Ahhh! (He starts rubbing his wrist)
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Rachel: No, theres nothing to make up, shes gonna know that I have a key to her office, Ive got to get you locked up back the way you were! (She tries to drag him over to the chair, but Chandler stops her.)
The Salesman: So, heres somebody interesting, Joey. What do you know about Van Gogh?
Joey: Wow! Thats pretty nice. I thought he cut off his ear cause he sucked. What else you got in there?
The Salesman: Actually its, Vatican City. Now ahh, what do you know about vulcanised rubber?
The Salesman: (laughs) You need these books.
Phoebe: This used to be your room? (She nods Yes) Wow! You mustve been in really good shape as a kid.
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
Phoebe: No but, why does that have to be a bad thing. Just change what it means. Y'know? Go down there and prove your Mother wrong. Finish the job you were hired to do, and well call that pulling a Monica.
Rachel: Chandler! Chandler, please, I have to get you locked up back the way you were, I am sooo gonna lose my job, shes very private about her office. Now I know why.
Chandler: Hey, look, youre in trouble either way! Okay? If she comes back and sees me locked to this instead of the chair, shes gonna know you were in here. So you might as well just let me go.
Chandler: Freedom! I want my freedom! Why wont you here me?! (Opens the door) Sophie, help me! Help me!! (Sophie stands up)
Rachel: No! God, would you just calm down!
Chandler: Im gonna say this for the last time. Would you please just (He moves his arm which opens the drawer and hits in the back of the head, which proves his point.)
The Salesman: So, what do you say, Joey? You get the whole set of encyclopedias for twelve hundred dollars, which works out to just 50 bucks a book!
Joey: Twelve hundred dollars? You think I have $1200? Im home in the middle of the day, and I got patio furniture in my living room. I guess theres a few things you dont get from book learnin.
The Salesman: Well ah, what can you swing?
The Salesman: You dont have, anything?
Joey: You wanna see what I got? (He gets up to empty out his pockets) Okay? Ive got a baby Tootsie Roll, a movie stub, keys, a Kleenex, a rock, and an army man. Hey!
The Salesman: For 50 bucks, you can get one book! What will it be? A? B? C?
Rachel: I ah Oh! Ill squeeze you fresh orange juice every morning!
Chandler: You dont have it.
Rachel: I can make you a legend. I can make you this generations Milton Berle.
Rachel: Ohh, not compared to you. (Chandler nods in agreement)
Monica: And you?
Monica: So if everyone liked it, and you liked it, that would make this a success. Which would make you
Mrs. Geller: Yes, well I was wrong, and I have to say you really impressed me today.
Phoebe: Umm, you might even say that she pulled a Monica. (They both look at her) (to Monica) She doesnt know we switched it. (Monica nods her head No.)
Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer. (She starts to bite her nails)
Chandler: (to Rachel) I love you. (Kisses her on the forehead)
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joey: Well, its good thing you got out when you did, before she blew up like that Vesuvius.
Monica: Why are you talking about volcanoes all of the sudden?
Joey: Well, we can talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Vivisection? The Vasdeferens? The Vietnam War?
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
RACHEL: Hey you.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
JOEY: She laughed at you?
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
MONICA: You too.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
RUSS: Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Chandler: Im gonna grab you some tissue.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: You cant do anything!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
RACHEL: You?
Chandler: You made pottery?
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Chandler: Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Danny: I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?