words in movies
PHOE: Ok, all right, let's hear about the kiss. Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips? Or was it like a, you know, a "I gotta have you now" kind of thing?
RACH: Well, at first it was really intense, you know. And then, oh, god, and then we just sort of sunk into it.
PHOE: Ok, so, ok, was he holding you? Or was his hand like on your back?
PHOE: Wow. What are you gonna use it for?
JOEY: [reading over her shoulder] Wait, here's one. Uh, would you be willing to cook naked?
JOEY: No, but if you're willing to cook naked, then you might be willing to dance naked. And then... [rubs his fingers together]
PHOE: Hey, oh, so, um...how'd you make out last night?
JOEY: You got all that from saline solution?
MNCA: We are talking about Rachel here. You and Rachel.
RACH: [to Ross] Hey, you.
ROSS: How are you?
RACH: Good. How are you?
ROSS: Hi, Julie. [nervous] Hi, Julie. Julie, um, how are you?
ROSS: [uncomfortable] Good, so everybody's here. Everybody's good. So, were you gonna play something, Phoebe?
JOEY: Hey, Julie, I didn't know you wore lenses.
RTST: No, ma'am. Well, anyhoo, we should be getting our F.D.A. approval any day now, hopefully, in time for Thanksgiving. See, the way we look at it, chocolate already dominates most of your major food-preparation holidays: Easter, Christmas, what have you.
RTST: Aren't you going to swallow that?
RTST: Well, anyhoo, um, we are looking for a couple of chefs who can create some Thanksgiving-themed recipes. You think you might be interested?
MNCA: Especially the after taste, you know, I'll tell ya, that'll last ya till Christmas.
JOEY: Ross, listen. I got two words for you. Threesome.
ROSS: I don't know. I mean, all right, I guess you can say she's a little spoiled sometimes.
JOEY: You could say that.
ROSS: And I guess, you know, sometimes, she's a little ditzy, you know. And I've seen her be a little too into her looks. Oh, and Julie and I, we have a lot in common 'cause we're both paleontologists, but Rachel's just a waitress.
CHAN: Waitress. Got it. You guys wanna play Doom? Or we could keep doing this. What else?
RACH: Oh my god, I can't believe you let me put this in my mouth.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
JOEY: [to Ross] Hey, so how'd it go with Julie? Did you, did you break her heart?
RACH: Hey, do you guys have...[sees Ross, pauses]...hi.
RACH: [sees his coat on] Where you goin'?
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
ROSS: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
ROSS: I know, I know, it's, it's almost...[turns around, sees Chandler and Joey] What do you say we go take a walk, just us, not them?
RACH: Ok, he's goin' to get my coat. He's goin' to get my coat. Oh my god, you guys. I can't believe this. This is unbelievable. [notices Chandler's computer screen] What's that?
ROSS: He won't? [remembers what it is] He won't! Because, isn't that, isn't that the, the short story you were writing?
JOEY: Hey, uh, why don't you read it to her?
ROSS: That's it? That's all you wrote? You're the worst writer in the whole world.
RACH: All right, you know what? This isn't funny anymore. There's something about me on that piece of paper and I want to see it.
ROSS: No, you don't.
RACH: All right, you know what, that's fine. If you guys want to be children about this, that's fine. I do not need to see it. [Rachel grabs the paper and runs across the room, reading it to herself.]
ROSS: Ok, just, just remember how crazy I am about you, ok?
MNCA: You know, that's true. You'd be a great person to have around the day after an emergency.
PHOE: What were you thinking?
MNCA: Yeah. You!
CHAN: All right, Pheebs, back me up here, ok? You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
RACH: [coldly] When somebody does not buzz you in, Ross, that means go away. That doesn't mean please climb up the fire escape.
ROSS: [reading his list] Ok, ok, number one: The way you cry at game shows. Number two: how much you love your friends. Number three: the way you play with your hair when you're nervous. Number four: how brave you are for starting your life over. Number five: how great you are with Ben.
ROSS: Number six: the way you smell.
JOEY: [opens the drapes] Hey, Ross! What are you doin'?
ROSS: Hey, Joey. You wanna open the window?
CHAN: What are you doing out there?
MNCA: Oh, you must be freezing. You know what you need? How about a nice steaming cup of hot Mockolate?
ROSS: Rach, come on, open up. Rach, come on, come on, Rach. You got to give me another chance.
RACH: No, you guys, you really don't have to go, we're done talking.
ROSS: Rach, come on, look, I know how you must feel.
RACH: [near tears] No, you don't, Ross. Imagine the worst things you think about yourself. Now, how would you feel if the one person that you trusted the most in the world not only thinks them too, but actually uses them as reasons not to be with you.
ROSS: No, but, but I wanna be with you in spite of all those things.
RACH: Oh, well, that's, that's mighty big of you, Ross. [to the others] I said don't go!
ROSS: You know what? You know what? If, things were the other way around, there's nothing you could put on a list that would ever make me not want to be with you.
JOEY: [quietly] I never know how long you're supposed to wait in this type of a situation before you can talk again, you know? [Ross stares blankly at him] Maybe a little longer.
RTST: Yeah, well, anyhoo, here is your check. [hands it to her] Thank you for all the trouble you went through. Um, listen, you didn't eat a lot of it while you were cooking, did you?
RTST: Oh, some, that's fine. Some is fine. Some is not a lot. So, it doesn't burn when you pee, does it?
ROSS: Look, can, can you do something for me?
RADIO: The next one's dedicated to Rachel from Ross. Rachel, he wants you to know he's deeply sorry for what he did and he hopes you can find it in your heart to forgive him. (With or Without You plays)
RADIO: Uh, we've just gotten a call from Rachel, and she told us what Ross did. It's pretty appalling, and Ross, if you're listening, I don't wanna play your song anymore. Why don't we devote our time to a couple that stands a chance? Avery, Michelle's sorry she hit you with her car and she hopes you two will work it out.
RTST: It's like I'm lookin' in a mirror. Anyway, they're called "fishtachios". They taste exactly like pistachios, but they're made primarily of reconstituted fish bits. Here, try one. You're not allergic to anything, are you?
Phoebe: Thats good, you should be impulsive and you should be romantic. Just you did it with the wrong person. (He looks at her.) What?
Monica: No. I dont think that you and I were destined to end up together. I think that we fell in love and work hard at our relationship. Some days we work really hard.
Rachel: Oh, ok, thank you. (Molly leaves) (to Monica) Do you see what all the guys see in her?
Monica: Come on, get into bed! I want to prove to you that Im not sick! I wanna make you feel, as good as I feel. (Sneezes.)
Rachel: Okay, uh, you let me go grocery shopping, and I buy laundry detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout.
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
Rachel: Come on, this isnt funny. She thinks its my fault that you havent called her. You have to call her!
Phoebe: (To Joey) Maybe its something you ate?
Rachel: Okay honey, you can finish this later were gonna be late. We gotta go.
Phoebe: (scared) Fire alarm? (She opens the door to reveal a fireman holding the blanket with the smoke detector.) Oh! Hi, officerfireman, can-can I help you?
Monica: Boy, I know they say you can't change your parents,... boy, if you could- (To Ross) -I'd want yours.
RACHEL: Hey you.
Ross: Oh, no, it's no big deal, I mean, if I weren't doing this I'd just, you know, be at the gym working out.
Joey: Look, you wanna use our place?
Joey: Yeah, Rach, I think youre handling that really well.
Ross: I like this one. (Points to it.) It seems to say, "I love you and thats why I have to kill you."
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Ross: (to the girl sitting next to him) Hi there. How many, how many ah, did you sell?
Ross: Yeah but after you said it was okay, I figured, "Why not?!"
Chandler: Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!
PHOEBE: So. You two are totally into each other.
Monica: Hey Phoebe. Hey, tell me what you think. All right. The house next door to the one that we're buying in Westchester? Just went on the market. I wanna take a look at it, but Chandler doesn't.
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Ross: Yeah, y'know the ah, the girlfriend I told you about last night? (Hes frantically throwing the cushions off of the couch looking for her other shoe) Well it turns out she ah, she wants to get back together with me. Oh, I found it!!
Ross: Youre gonna love me so much. I got Sting tickets!! (Holds up two.)
JOEY: She laughed at you?
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
PHOEBE: OK. Um, how come I'm walking with you?
MONICA: You too.
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
Phoebe: (standing up) Okay, so umm, somebody has to call Frank and Alice. (As she is talking Joey is sticking the camera under her skirt.) And then my mom wants to know-(notices Joey)-Joey, what are you doing?!
RACHEL: Hi you guys.
Teacher: You by the door. In or out?
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Joey: How could you do this to me Chandler?! This part couldve turned my whole career around!
Chandler: What are you talking about?
Ross: (buzzes) Wrong! Now you're single. It's actually secret option number three, you meet her at the gate. That way she knows you love her.
RUSS: Are you a, uh, friend of Rachel's?
Ross: Oh really, really great! Yeah! A-actually shes right down the street, umm, do-do you know what? You should stop bye and say hi.
Phoebe: Oh! It will be fun! Ohh! Yay! Oh! Okay, ooh, lets plan the wedding reception. (She grabs the notebook which Monica used for her ideas and starts flipping page after page after page after page after page to find a blank one.) Wow! You really wanted me to do something with this van. (pause) Yknow what, I want you to take the chef job.
{Transcibers note: In case youre wondering, and I know you are. Their names are all back to normal. Just in a slightly smaller font than usual to allow Courteney Cox Arquette to fit on one line and not be smaller than the rest of their names. Now, on with the show }
Chandler: I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Rachel: Phoebe! You cant do th
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Monica: Ethan, focus. How could you not tell me?
Rachel: Well,sounds like you two have issues.
Ross: Well, everyone's gotta kiss someone. You can't kiss Ross you got the history.
Russell: Ross, I have been a divorce attorney for 23 years and never had I so much business from one client. Why dont you tell me what happened.
Monica: Ross you know that tonight is your date with Hillary?
Mike: So...? What do you think? (looks at his parents, which look in disgust)
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Janice: Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day.
Ross: Yeah. Do that for another two hours, you might be where I am right about now. (He enters.)
Chandler: Im gonna grab you some tissue.
Chandler and Phoebe: ...in you, my endless (Phoebe goes high pitched, Chandler goes low pitched) love. (they both look at each other.) My endless love. (once again they dont match tones, and they just look at each other)
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
Joey: You cant do anything!
(As they change places, they give each other the now patented Ross maneuver. If you dont know what that means, click here to find out The One With Joey's New Girlfriend.)
Rachel: Come on Ross! You said you wanted to talk about it, lets talk about it!! How was she?
Phoebe: Oh my God! No! Shoo! Kitty! No! No-no-no! Shoo! Come on, you! (goes over and picks up the cat) Come on. Crazy. (looks into the cats eyes) Oh my God.
Joey: Okay look Rach, I know this is a lot. You dont have to say anything. You-you uh, you take as much time as you need. (Long pause as Rachel says nothing.) Okay, you gotta say something!
Phoebe: Thats right, there you go! Crushes happen all the time! I know Ive had them for all you guys. Well, except for Ross and Chandler. And Im sure youve had them for us.
Chandler: Oh, you dont know. (Presses a button.) Helen, could you make sure we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinders raise?
RACHEL: You?
Chandler: You made pottery?
Monica: Hmm, care to make it interesting? Ill bet you that shell have it by this time tomorrow.
Ross: Thanks you guys, I really appreciate this. All right, I'm gonna get packing again. Man, I've been moving around so much I'm beginning to feel like a nomad.
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
Monica: Why? It's just that I've waited seven years for an opportunity like this, and you can't even wait four and a half minutes for a stupid onion tartlet?
Chandler: You have to pick your moments.
Chandler: I hope you know what Im giving up for ya, because shes not just the boss in your office, if you know what I mean.
Joey: You should scream at me, or-or-or curse me, or hit me.
Phoebe: Well, what youre wearing is fine for that.
Rachel: Why? Do you have the answers written on there?
Chandler: You bet I did, Ben, put it there! (He shakes Ben's hand, but the money falls out of his hands) (to Monica) Well, it would have worked this time, if his hands weren't so damn small! (Realizes, that Ben is standing right there) Ho, ho, ho!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Ross: No, but itd be nice if you realised, its just a job!
Chandler: Say, Joe, I had a strange idea of what we could do for our last night. What do you say we play a little uh, foosball for money?
ROSS: Mon, Mon, are you OK?
Chip: Ehh, y'know after high school, you just kinda lose touch. Oh yeah! I ran into Richard Dorfman.
Girl: Im not gonna tell you! Youre the bad man who broke Sarahs leg.
Chandler: (on phone) I love you too.
Danny: I'm hungry. Wanna get some pizza? You can keep yelling if there's more.
Monica: Ahh, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you!
Phoebe: Yeah, you mean like that youre kind of a loner.
Ben: (mimicking her) Remember all that stuff I taught you yesterday?
RACHEL: You didn't get it?
Rachel: Okay Joey, first of all Kash Ford is not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
RACHEL: Why didn't you get it?
Monica: Really, Rachel, I was thinking of you the whole time. Look, I'm sorry, all right. I never meant for you to find out!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
CHANDLER: Well, there you go.
Phoebe: Ohh thats so sweet! (Her cell phone rings.) Oh! Hang on! (Quickly grabs a cigarette and starts to light it as her phone rings.) Hang onnnnnn!!! (Gets the cigarette lighted and answers the phone.) (On phone.) Go!! No! No-no! I said sell when it hits 50! 5-0, its a number! It comes after 4-9!! No, its okay. Its okay, youre allowed one mistake. Just kidding, you are of course fired.
Phoebe: I'll have to get back to you on that. Okay, bye! (Hangs up.) Oh my God! He wants me to come over and feel his bicep and more!
RACHEL: I'm off my break now so uh, um here you take this [hands back Ben] and um, I am gonna go pour these very nice people some coffee. Ok. Oh look at that, I don't have a pot. I don't have a pot. Well, hey, maybe I've got one at home, or in Scarsdale. Hey is that a door? [leaves]
Ross: Ok, we gotta go, yeah? So, we'll see you guys tomorrow.
RACHEL: What? You didn't get one.
Mrs. Bing: You okay there, slugger?