words in movies
PHOEBE: Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. Oh my God, you should see the size of his Christmas Balls.
JOEY: Hey, how much did you guys tip the super this year?
CHANDLER: Yeah, we were gonna give fifty, but if you guys gave more, we don't wanna look bad.
JOEY: You gave him cookies?
CHANDLER: Phoebs, let me ask you something, were, were these, uh, funny brownies?
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
ROSS: So you guys, who else did you tip with cookies?
JOEY: I can't believe it's Christmas already. Ya know, I mean, one day your eatin' turkey, the next thing ya know, your lords are a-leapin' and you geese are a-layin'.
ROSS: Hey Rach. I, uh, got you a little present. [Rachel is not impressed]. . I'll open it. It's a Slinky! Remember, huh. [sings] Walks down stairs, alone or in pairs, everyone knows it's. . . just a big spring. Alright, you still mad at me becuase of the whole. . .
ROSS: How 'bout from now on we just call it the 'unfortunate incident'? [Rachel walks off] Hey Gunther, you got stairs in your place?
JOEY: C'mon show us what you bought. . . You know you want to.
PHOEBE: Happy Christmas Eve Eve. [sees Ross's picture frame] Oh my God, where did you get this?
PHOEBE: No it isn't, this is my dad, alright, I'll show you.
RACHEL: How have you never been on Oprah?
PHOEBE: Just, you know, to see... um.
GRANDMOTHER: Oh, sure, yeah. [gets a box with the pictures] This is the one of you father in a meadow, and, uh, helping a little boy fly a kite, and here he is at a graduation. . . another graduation. . . another graduation.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
MONICA: How do you know exactly what she's going through?
ROSS: Yeah, what're you guys doin' here, aren't you supposed to be Christmas shopping?
MONICA: You guys haven't gotten your presents yet? Tomorrow's Christmas Eve, what're ya gonna do?
CHANDLER: Don't you have to be Claymation to say stuff like that?
JOEY: Monica, pigeons learn faster that you.
ROSS: Hey, Rach, you know what? I think, I think I know what'll make you feel better. How 'bout you make a list about me. RACHEL: Wha... forget it Ross, no, I am not gonna stand here and make a list of. . . ROSS: C'mon Rachel. RACHEL: OK, you're whiney, you are, you're obsessive, you are insecure, you're, you're gutless, you know, you don't ever, you don't just sort of seize the day, you know. You like me for what, a year, you didn't do anything about it. And, uh, oh, you wear too much of that gel in your hair. ROSS: See there, you uhh, alright, ya, you did what I said. RACHEL: Yeah, and you know what? You're right, I do feel better, thank you Ross. [she walks off and Ross puts his hand to his hair] [Scene: Back at Phoebe's. She is on the phone] PHOEBE: Yeah, um, in Albany, can I have the number of Frank Buffay. . . OK, um, in Ithica. . . alright, um, Saratoga. . . Oneonta. Alright, you know what, you shouldn't call youself information. [hangs up] [Phoebe's grandmother enters] GRANDMOTHER: Hey. PHOEBE: Hello grandma, if that is in fact your real name. GRANDMOTHER: C'mon now Phoe, don't still be mad at me. How's it going? PHOEBE: Well, not so good. Upstate's pretty big, he's pretty small, you do the math. GRANDMOTHER: Well, I think you're better off without him. Oh honey, I know he's your daddy but, but to me he's still the irresponsible creep who knocked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. PHOEBE: No I just, just wanted to know who he was, ya know. GRANDMOTHER: I know. OK, I wasn't completely honest with you when I told you that, uh, I didn't know exactly where he lived. PHOEBE: Whattaya mean? GRANDMOTHER: He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. You can take my cab. PHOEBE: Wow. Thank you. GRANDMOTHER: Now, remember, nobody else drives that cab. PHOEBE: Uh-huh, got it. Ooh, I'm gonna see my dad. Wish me luck, Grandpa! [blows a kiss to a picture of Einstein]
PHOEBE: Can you believe this. In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. Eeeshk.
PHOEBE: Alright, here, you have to hold this. [hands Chandler a piece of paper]
MONICA: Rach, get the heat. [Rachel holds up her hand with wet fingernail polish] Ross, could you turn the heat down please?
RACHEL: Did you just break the radiator?
RACHEL: [on phone] Hi, Mr. Treeger. Hi, it's Rachel Green from upstairs. Yes, somebody, uh, broke our knob on the radiator and it's really hot in here. Yes, it's, it's hot enough to bake cookies. Well, do you think we could have a new one by 6? Wha t, no, no, Tuesday, we can't wait until Tuesday, we're having a party tonight.
RACHEL: [answers door] Hi, welcome to our tropical Christmas party. You can put your coats and sweaters and pants and shirts in the bedroom.
MR. TREEGER: Uhh, you said there was a party.
ROSS: Alright, alright, here's the chance. Monica give him cash, Rachel give him your earrings. Something, now, anything. MONICA: No, I will not cave. RACHEL: Yeah, I'm with Mon. ROSS: Alright, alright, you know how you say I never seize the day? Well, alright, even though he's your super, I'm seizing. [approaches Mr. Treeger] Mr. Treeger, here is 50 bucks, merry Christmas. [Gives him the cash.]
MR. TREEGER: Oh wow, I didn't get you anything. Here's five back.
ROSS: No no, no, that, that's your Christmas tip, alright. Oh, hey, do you think there's a chance you could fix that radiator now?
ROSS: You mean hardball?
MONICA: So, wait, you really did like my cookies?
MR. TREEGER: Oh, yeah, they were so personal, really showed you cared.
PHOEBE: Yeah, maybe, yeah. You know, and, and I'll knock on the door and, and he'll hug me and I'll have a dad. Ya know and I'll, I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be really nice to me 'cause, you know, I'm Franks daughter.
PHOEBE: Well, 'cause, I mean, what if, what if he's not this great dad guy? I mean, what if, what if he's just still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? You know what? I've already lost a fake dad this week and I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one.
JOEY: Phoebs, that's OK. You took a big step today.
JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you.
PHOEBE: You guys. I'm sorry about your shopping.
JOEY: Uh, listen Phoebs, I know you're not goin' in there but do you think it'd be alright if I went in and used his bathroom? Oh, that's fine, never mind. Cool, snow, kinda like a blank canvas.
JOEY: Really, hey, you mind if I turn the heat down?
ROSS: Are you OK?
JOEY: Rach, these are for you.
JOEY: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
PHOEBE: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
PHOEBE: You guuuyys.
ROSS: You got me a cola drink?
ROSS: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
ROSS: Go ahead, go ahead with the bird. Ok, do you have anything for around 200?
Mrs. Lynch: Oh my goodness! You havent heard!
Joey: Oh! I see what happened. It's because I was trying to repel you. Right? Believe me, you'd feel a lot different if I turned it on.
Joey: I didn't have to tell you that!! I'm stupider than Jane Rogers!!
Monica: All right look, if I take Chandler out of the running will you be able to focus?
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Monica: Relax, she-she's gonna give in way before you do!
Phoebe: Whered you get too? We lost you after you opened up all the presents.
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Chandler: Uh, credit card. (Reaches for it then realizes) Oh no! No-no, but I left my credit card with Joey. (To Phoebe) Okay, Ill go get it. You guard the ring.
Joey: That's great! Hey, can you cast me in it?
Dr. Leedbetter: We want you to speak to a psychiatrist.
Monica: You cried yesterday at the six o'clock news.
Monica: You broke up with a girl because she was fat?!
Ross: Hey, when did you and Susan meet Huey Lewis?
[What follows is the final set of flashbacks that feature a whole lot of lovin between Chandler and Joey. Theres no words, just hugs and even the kiss from The One With The Monkey. All of this is set to the song, Youve Really Got a Hold on Me!]
Chandler: Yeah, but how would you like it if someone told the triplets that you gave birth to them?
RACHEL: You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Monica: (overhearing that) Why don't you just go out with her!
Phoebe: Or you could teach stripping. You know, share your gift, pass the torch.
Rachel: Hey, Mon, if you were hoping to sleep with Joshua the first time tonight, which one of these would you want to be wearing. (Shes holding two frilly, lace nighties.)
Ross: (joking) I'd better not found you naked in my hotel room!
Benjamin: Anyway, I've decided to offer you the grant.
Ross: Yeah, laugh all you want but in ten minutes were gonna have younger looking skin!
Chandler: No-no-no-no, no, its a good thing. Why must we dial so speedily anyway? Why must we rush through life? Why cant we savor the precious moments? (to one of Joeys sisters) Those are some huge breasts you have.
Russell: And well need you and Rachel to testify before a judge.
Charlie: Come on, he's still in the bathroom! I'm begging you!
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, oh you loved that thing. You always had it with you. You never went anywhere without-without that coloring book.
Ross: Alright, you madcap gal. Try to imagine this. The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away.
Joey: Look, I don't hate Janice, she's-she's just a lot to take, you know.
Ross: So what! I still haveNo youre probably right.
Monica: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Rach, a guy from Ralph Lauren called, you got a second interview!
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you.
Ross: Yeah and he didnt really ask for you, he asked for Chancy, I assumed he meant you.
EDDIE: Woah, woah, woah, what're, what're you talkin' about man.
RACHEL: She's right. She's right. You are no different than the rest of them.
Phoebe: Oh my God! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Chandler: Yeah, actually. So, you read a file that you liked and you gave the agency the serial number and they contacted us?
Phoebe: It's a cotton swab with a bit of my saliva on it, so that if they perfect the cloning process while you are over there, you can use the DNA to create your own Pheebs!
Joey: (on machine) Hey Ross. Its Joey. Theres a hooker over here and we thought maybe youd know something about it.
Ross: It would be so cool to live across from you guys!
Gunther: Nope! I still cant believe she slept with you in the first place.
Mrs. Geller: You could kick anyones ass you want too.
Joey: Well, maybe a little. I wish you hadn't seen me throw up.
Chandler: No, you dont have to, and you cant because I live here too.
Chandler: (entering, with Phoebes book.) Here you go Phoebe! Here you go Phobo! Phewbedo! Phaybobo.
Joey: Wait a minute, you can't go to Tulsa. Maybe you forgot, but we've got tickets to the Jets game next week.
Monica: Yeah, you can hear everything through these stupid walls.
Doug: Sorry? Finally chewed my leg out of that bear trap. Hey, congratulations to you guys though!
ROSS: You know, you know, actually it's getting better. It is. It is. Let's not go. Anyone for Thcrabble?
Tom: So you work at Bloomingdale's, huh? My mom calls it Bloomies.
ROSS: Emotional hell. So, did they lend you the money yet?
Kathy: Hey. Listen, I want you to know how sorry I am
Chandler: Hey. I just, I just wanted to come over to-to say that Im sorry. Yknow? I know I acted like the biggest idiot in the world, and I can completely understand why you were so upset.
Ross: Really?! Wow! Thats-thats so nice, what are you gonna get me?
Janice: Okay, Im going to need a comforter, but did you have a hypoallergenic one because otherwise I get very nasal. (Makes some weird sound) Do you have a cat? Cause its already happening. (Makes a nasal sound) Do you hear that? (She keeps making the nasal sound.)
Phoebe: Oh no, no. I can't choose between you two! I love you both so much!
Joey: Dude, are you okay? And when are the fajitas gonna be ready?
Ross: Okay, hopefully this time mom wont boo you.
Ross: Thats the day youre gonna die? Seedarnit, Ive got shuffleboard that day.
Chandler: Thats okay Pheebs, were not having a party or anything, so you dont have to get us
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
Rachel: I believe you. So, it was right in the middle of a staff meeting so of course no one else wants to correct her so everyone else is calling me Raquel! By the end of the day, the mailroom guys were calling me Rocky!
Chandler: Do you think you could get through a poem?
Chandler: (To Ross) I can't believe this! What the hell were you thinking?
Ross: Whoa, whoa, whoa, ho, ho, ho, you did not win the game, the touchdown didnt count, because of the spectacularly illegal, oh and by the way savage nose breaking.
Janice: Oh, are you sure? Really? Because you know, you could make little puppets out of them, and you could use them in your theater of cruelty.
Joey: That’s it? You know, it seems all you do lately is drop the ball.
Chandler: Listen ah, Joe, I-I need to, I need to talk to you about something.
Joey: (hurrying over) Okay! Okay, youre yelling again! See that?
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Phoebe: Pies, oh, we thought you said priiiize (goes to the hall and comes back with Emma's trophy in her hand). Here! (gives it to Monica).
Ross: Im trying to tell you I made you a mix tape.
Phoebe: (picks up a coin from her bra) Monica, you call it.
Phoebe: Well, who cares what your Mom thinks? So you pulled a Monica.
Phoebe: Oh well, I guess Italian isnt one of the four languages you speak.
Chloe: Relax. Its just Issacs D.J.-ing at the Philly. You should come.
Rachel: Yeah, yeah, you go talk to your friend. You tell him, "Nice try."
Joey: Yknow, Monica and Chandler are married. Ross and Rachel are having a baby. Maybe you and I should do something.
Joey: I never laughed so hardDid you see the wine come out of my nose?
Monica: Look, all were trying to say is, dont let what happened with Carol ruin what you got with Emily.
Joey: Monica and I were talking about who could kick whose ass in a fight, you or Ross?
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
Joey: Okay, uhh, would you rather be too wet or too dry?
Joey: Okay. (to Phoebe and Chandler) Did ah, you guys mean you plus one?
Chandler: Well lets see, there was the guy with the ferrets, thats plural. The spitter. Oh-ho, and yes, the guy that enjoyed my name so much he felt the need to make a little noise every time he said it. Nice to meet you, Chandler Bing Bing! Great apartment Chandler Bing, Bing!
Ross: So I'm a pimp huh? It's okay! Look, I know that sometimes I can be a pain in the ass, but you just have to talk to me. Tell me if something is bothering you. Okay? And for my part I will do everything I can to keep my annoying habits just (Does the 'quiet down' maneuver).
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Chandler: Can't believe you guys bought that, enjoy your slow death (runs away).
Phoebe: This isn't a good deed, you just wanted to get on TV! This is totally selfish.
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Gene: Well, I will, because I won't be playing with you.
Ross: (on phone) Ok, ok, sweetheart, I'll see you later. Ok, bye. What? (Sits down next to Rachel) Oh, that is so sweet. No, no, ok, you hang up. Ok, ok, one, two, three. (Doesn't hang up and motions for Rachel to be quiet) Well you didn't hang up either.
Rachel: They made you head of the department!
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Mike: Well hey, I wanna ask you about Monica's little "groomy" joke.
Chandler: So do you think uh, Joeys more charming than me?
Joey: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! (He starts to leave, but gets an idea and stops.) Hey Rach, how you doin'?
Chandler: You know, you always cook this meal all by yourself. Let me help this year.