words in movies
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Voice: What is the name of your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything (Joey realizes its Chandler and hangs up the phone in anger.)
Ross: Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Chandler: Hey, by any chance did either of pick uh Rachel for your secret Santa, cause I wanna trade for her.
Chandler: I dont know R.G., I was thinking something girlie for your office.
Ross: Joey, the guys your best friend.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Tim: Well, youve got a little scratch on your cornea, your gonna have to wear a patch for a couple of days.
Monica: Umm, so how long have you been working with your dad? (He looks at her) Come on, one of us had to mention him.
Phoebe: Yeah, I can see where Id be your best shot but, no. Im sorry, but I think its twisted.
Ross: Hey, y'know, Mon, if things wrong out between you and Richards son, youd be able to tell your kids, that you slept with their grandfather.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
Monica: I know! I mean its like me and your dad, thats a totally separate thing.
Petrie: Loved your Stevie Wonder last night.
Rachel: So? You guys are all sleep deprived. I dont see you weeping because you put your slippers on the wrong feet. Oh God. (Starts to cry harder.)
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Ross: (pause) Ross? I... I grew up on your block! We had Thanksgiving together last year... I had a baby with your sister!
Phoebe: Okay, your highness.
Emily: But Ross, Im such having a great time! Your sister has just been telling me that you used to dress up like little, old ladies and hold make-believe tea parties.
Monica: Why?! To celebrate your relationship! To solidify your commitment! To declare your love for one another to the world!
Receptionist: I am sorry Mr. Bing, there's no record of your reservation in the computer.
Joey: All rightoh! Listen, I know this is your party, but Id really like to the number of museum geeks that are gonna be there.
Monica: Frannie was the one who found your Playboys and showed them to mom.
RACHEL: Ok, doggie get the- aahhh. Ok go get the sandwich, get the sandwich doggie. [dog ignores the sandwich] Good doggie get the sandwich, get the...ok, Joey, the dog will lick himself but he will not touch your sandwich, what does that say?
Ross: Th-th-that's all it is, a third nipple. Y'know? Just your run-of-the-mill third nipple. Y'know? You can take it off. Just slice that baby right off!
BIG BULLY: Hehehehey, isn't that the guy who used to wear your hat?
Hayley: (laughs) your welcome again, I'm gonna make some coffee can I get you anything?
Monica: Okay, Ben, I wont tell your daddy that you had ice cream for dinner, if you dont tell about our little bonking incident.
Joey: Yes I do! And were gonna go out, were gonna have a good time, and take your mind off of childbirth and c-sections and-and giant baby heads stretching out
PHOEBE: Ok, Ross, could you just open your mind like this much, ok? Wasn't there a time when the brightest minds in the world believed that the world was flat? And, up until like what, 50 years ago, you all thought the atom was the smallest thing, until you split it open, and this like, whole mess of crap came out. Now, are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant that you can't admit that there's a teeny tiny possibility that you could be wrong about this?
Rachel: Fine! I judged you. I made a snap judgement. But you did it too! And you are worse because you are sticking to your stupid snap judgement! You can't even open up your mind for a second to see if you're wrong! What does that say about you?
Don: Your food is fantastic! Wow, I really want to talk to you about your menu, once I get some coffees first. Um, anyone want any?
Phoebe: All right so Earl, lets just forget about the people at the office, okay? There-theres gotta be someone else in your life worth sticking around for! What about-what about your family, your friends, or maybe your girlfriend?
PHOEBE: What if the husband person is the wrong guy, and you are the right guy. I mean you don't get chances like this all the time, if you don't meet her now, you're gonna be kicking yourself when your 80, which is hard to do, and that's how you break a hip.
Rachel: Yes your honor, and here are, are forms, all filled out.
PHOE: Yeah, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.
Chandler: Okay, look I need your help, I dont know what to get her for Valentines Day.
Phoebe: ...and then it goes back to the chorus... Smelly cat, Sme-lly ca-t / I-t's not your fau-lt. And that's the end of the song... I realise that you didn't ask to hear it, but uhm... no-one had spoken in seventeen minutes.
Chandler: Hey! Stop staring at my wife's legs! No no! Stop staring at your sister's legs!
Ross: So then if-ifI mean if you think about it, this is all (Pause.) your fault.
MONICA: Well for your information he happens to be one of the brightest, most sophisticated, sexiest men I've ever been with.
ROB: Anyway, I schedule performers for the childrens libraries around the city and I was just thinking, have you ever thought about playing your songs for kids?
Benjamin: Dr. Biely, your proposal includes some field work. Where might that take place?
JOEY: Alright open your eyes. [opens his eyes to see two black leather recliners and a big screen TV]
Ross: This is helping your career?! Huh? I thought you wanted to be an actor not the creator of crazy lawsuit game!
Joey: I like that! (To Phoebe) Oh, okay! Show him your bra! He's afraid of bras! Can't work 'em! (He swiftly rips open the front of Phoebe's dress revealing her bra.)
Chandler: (entering) Oh hey Rachel, sweetheart? You have got to tell the post office that you have moved. Okay? We are still getting all your bills and stuff. (Hands her all of her bills and stuff.)
Chandler: See ya. (Ross exits, and Chandler moves over next to Joey, laughing.) Have fun planning your mellow bachelor party.
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
MONICA: Ok, the first person's most embarassing memory is, 'Monica, your party sucks.' Very funny.
Ross: (very bored, he tries to avoid the conversation speaking to Charlie) So, where did you get your undergraduate degree?
Ross: Shielding your face and shrieking like a girl... is not a backhand.
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Policeman: Your license?
Rachel: What? What? Hes interested in you. He-he likes your hair, he just wants to know how you got here.
Mr. Waltham: You want a piece of me, sir? Is that what your saying? (Pointing at Jack and poking him) You want a piece of me?
Chandler: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
Man: (singing) Mister Pretensous, (Monica stands up in the background) you think there's no one finer, well but your poems are unpublished, and you work in a diner.
ROSS: Hey, you're a doctor of gums. That's the smallest body part you can major in. It's like day one, floss. Day two, here's your diploma.
Chandler: Hey, you're not him. You're you. When they were all over you to go into your father's pipe-fitting business, did you cave?
Phoebe: Okay, this will keep them away from your stuff. (Writes him a note and the gang reads it.)
Ross: Are you sure shes in the cat, or have you been taking your grandmas glycoma medicine again?
Monica: Kinda like your Barca lounger.
Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.
Rachel: Yeah. So don't move, okay? Just stay here and... (nods towards Ross) maybe close your blinds at night.
Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely.
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
The Doctor: This isn't your toe, this is a small, very cold piece of carrot.
Rachel: Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I said maybe!!
Rachel: And you've got lenses! But you hate sticking your finger in your eye!
Monica: Ok, so that's what we're doing. You know, when I'm in the coffee house bopping along to one of your songs, I'm wearing ear plugs.
Announcer: Knicks fans, please turn your attention to the big screen on the score board. Someone has a special question to ask. (on the screen there’s written ‘Julie, will you marry me?’ and goes on to show a guy kneeling down in front of a girl holding out a ring to her)
Rachel: (on the phone) Mum, please!I know you love your new lips, but I can barely understand you! Would you, please, just let me say goodnight to my daughter?
MR. DOUGLAS: Uh, listen Bing, I received your memo. So, we're not gonna receive the systems report until next Friday?
Phoebe: Why? Just 'cause you're too lazy to get up off your touchie?
Joey: You got it! And the rabbis beard, 100% horsehair. Nice catch C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Pauses as he waits for C.H.E.E.S.E.s next line.) Its your line C.H.E.E.S.E.! (Suddenly C.H.E.E.S.E. goes crazy and starts flinging its arms and advancing on Joey behind the desk.) Wayne! Wayne!!
Monica: No, I-I havent seen your pink shirt.
Phoebe: Yeah. (She notices some guy putting a coat on his girlfriend is trying to remember where hes seen her before.) (To him) Youre trying to figure out where you know me from? All right, Ill give you a hint. From porn! Okay? (He tries to rush his girlfriend out.) Yeah your pervert boyfriend watched me in a porno movie! (To Joey) See?
MONICA: Hi sweetie, look before I forget, did I leave my diaphram at your place? Hi mom. [she starts throwing oranges at Ross who's looking pleased with himself]
Rachel: Oh yeah, I'm jealous. "Oh Gavin, please, please look at my ass". (Gavin starts looking) Stop looking at my ass! I mean, I just think you are totally inappropriate, ok? This is a work environment, she's your subordinate.
Chandler: Emma, you even know it's your birthday today? You're one! One-year-old, that's little.
Chandler: Inever borrowed your Walkman.
Monica: This is your current cellphone?
Rachel: Okay, okay, okay, I got one! (She sits up and the cushion she was leaning against falls off of the balcony.) Anyway- The valentine Tommy Rollerson left in your locker was really from me.
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Chandler: Can I use your phone?
Ross: Chandler, have you ever put on a black cocktail dress and asked me up to your hotel room?
Ross: The carbon, its messy, I mean it gets on your fingers and causes, the, the ah, night blindness.
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Emily: Dont you point your pants at me! (She throws them on the floor.) We have no choice! Anywhere thats half-decent wouldve be booked months ago, Ross dont you understand? This is our wedding Im talking about.
Nurse: Mr. Bing? (Chandler jumps up) Here you are! You'll go into that room and deposit your specimen into the container.
Phoebe: Ok, somebody is on their way to ruin wedding okay. And I have to warn somebody, alright. So if you dont give me that number then Im going to come over there and kick your snooty ass all the way to New Glocken..shire.
Mona: Oh hey, thanks again for showing me your semi-precious stone collection. It was amazing! (She leaves.)
Rachel: (Sighing) Well I-I think your wrong.
Rachel: Seriously, your dad doesnt like pranks.
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up and for your information, minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it! I love this coat! Okay, Iit's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley! (She starts to leave but stops and says to Monica.) Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine!
Chandler: Ho-oh, hes gonna get some! (Rachel looks at him.) Of the glare from the streetlight out of his apartment. Yknow so umm, hes closed the drapes there so he can have a nice, pleasant conversation with your little sister. (Pause) Well, Im off to bed! (Goes to bed.)
Joey: Yeah, I guess it is. (sees Kate is watching, he turns Lauren so that he can talk directly to Kate, but still look like he is talking to Lauren) Listen, I ah, I gotta say good bye, and-and I gotta say it quick cause this is killing me. One thing you gotta know, is that I will never forget you. But, youve got things you have to do now, and so do I. And so Im gonna get on this spaceship, (smoke starts pouring in from the ceiling, and a ladder comes down, with flashing, colored lights on the side of it) and Im gonna go to Blargon 7 in search of alternative fuels. But when I return, 200 years from now, youll be long gone. But I wont have aged at all. (gets on the ladder) So you tell your great-great-granddaughter to look me up, because Adrienne, baby, Im gonna want to meet her.
Ross: And thats not against your oath?!
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
Monica: Okay, I have to get that. Now when I get back, I want you and your friends to be gone. Thanksgiving is over. The Vein has spoken.
Rachel: I-I dont want your job. I-I dont. Ohh this is such a mistake. I did not make out with him. Nobody made out with him. I did not use my keycard yesterday. I dont even know how to use my keycard. (The elevator stops. Ralph steps on.)
Joey: Hey hey! You dye your hair!
Phoebe: (gasps) Ohh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. (The chick clucks.) You'll get your turn!
Joey: Come on Pheebs! I cant take this anymore! Let-let me make it up to you. Huh? (Starts singing.) Ground control to Major Tom. Commencing countdown, engines on. Take your protein pills and put your helmet on!
Rachel: Monica, your Sweet Sixteen was like a million years ago.
Phoebe: Oh, this is so exciting! You get your picture back up on the wall of fame! Eek!
Joey: (angrily) Get your non-believer ass outta my chair! (She gets up and heads for her room.)
Chandler: Well, I think it's great that you're going on a date, you know? I mean, it sounds healthy. I mean, you have needs. Embrace your womanhood!
Chandler: (Looking out at the balcony) So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Phoebe: You just did it again. Chandler, your feelings for Chandler are certainly gone!
Assistant: You've got to face the red light. When the red light goes on the spraying is about to start so close your eyes. When the spraying stops, count to five. Pat yourself down to avoid drip marks then turn around so we can get your back. Got it?